Epilogue

EPILOGUE

4 YEARS LATER

" M aybe Teresa?" Maya shouted toward the kitchen from where sounds of vacuuming reached her ears. The spring cleaning was in full bloom.

Elle's head appeared next to the door frame. She furrowed her eyebrows. "Teresa? Like Mother Teresa? Are you joking?"

Maya laughed. "Don't make fun of me. I thought it'd be cute."

"And the nickname would be Tess? No, I don't like it." Having stated her opinion, Elle got back to vacuuming.

Ever since Maya had entered her third trimester, Elle had to take care of every chore around the house, and she did so with pleasure. Sometimes tired pleasure, but pleasure regardless. She made it her goal to have the house as clean as possible for spring. Spring and the end of Maya's pregnancy, of course. We'll have a little spring baby, she'd think, often getting excited over the prospect.

"Anna?" She heard from the living room.

"No! Too basic," she shouted, shaking her head. None of the names felt right . None of them sounded well enough in her ears. The debate had been going on for weeks.

"In a second I'll give up and leave you alone with it," Maya threatened from her place in the living room. She was joking, but there was a note of genuine irritation in her voice.

Elle turned off the vacuum cleaner and walked out of the kitchen. She was ready to get it done, to choose the perfect name. It was March, and the sun would make everything easier, or so she believed. Nothing could be unbeatable during spring. Its lightness of being made everything equally light and sweet, fresh like the flowers decorating their windows.

"All right, let's do it." She sat next to Maya, automatically laying her hand gently on Maya's bulging belly. Sometimes she'd feel legs furiously kicking, and she couldn't contain her pride. "What are our top choices, hmm?"

Maya had waited for this moment the entire day. She felt that Elle didn't understand how overwhelming it was to choose something that would become an integral part of their daughter's life, arguably an integral part of their daughter.

"You didn't approve of many I suggested," she looked at Elle accusingly. "How about you think of some?" To soften the accusation, she laid a kiss on Elle's cheek, giving her the piece of paper with noted down names.

"Hm…" Elle furrowed her eyebrows, scanning the list and thinking of potential additions.

She didn't want to admit this to Maya, but the perspective of naming the baby filled her with a quiet kind of terror. Naming her meant putting the last piece together before birth, making it more real than anything before. With a name, she would finally become a person.

Going through the names often caused her to think of her ancestors, and of Maya's ancestors, too, of everyone who'd come before them. The legacy they'd be passing on, something ancient and tender, alive. She tried remembering the names of her ancestors as far back as she could, straining her mind to reach the names of people separated from her by hundreds of years. At first, she thought it would be an honorable thing to name her daughter something traditional and tie her to Elle's family history. But what about Maya's ancestors, and why would they decide to weigh the baby down with the chain of the past?

"What are we looking for in the name?" She turned to look at Maya. "What do you want it to be like?"

"That's a good question." Maya nodded. "I guess I hadn't thought of it that way. Let me think." She took Elle's hand while pausing to ponder the question. Their fingers interlaced, a little witness to their habitual intimacy. Noticing these habits never failed to make Maya smile. "I want her not to feel limited by the name, first of all. You know these names like Rose, or Daisy? They're so beautiful, but I think they assume the girl to come to be sweet and feminine like the flowers. I want our daughter to feel free to express herself however she likes without her name constraining her in any way."

Elle smiled. "That's considerate of you. What else?"

"I don't want it to have a silly nickname attached, like Tessy." She laughed. "Though I still think Teresa is a lovely name. How about you? Do you have anything you'd like the name to be or avoid being?"

Maya looked so focused and so beautiful that Elle couldn't find an answer in her head besides to lean in and kiss her. The fresh fragrance of her hair tickled Elle's nose, and she couldn't imagine a better afternoon than sitting on their own couch and considering what to name their soon to arrive daughter. Maya gently pulled away, shaking her head.

"Stop distracting us," she reprimanded. "You're too sweet. We need to get this done. We'll still need to get used to the name."

"Oh, I think we'll have plenty of time for that." Elle smiled. "How am I supposed to stay focused when my beautiful girlfriend is sitting right next to me, and her lips taste the best they ever have?"

Maya laughed. "Elle, you say that every time we kiss."

"Every time you taste better." Elle winked. "The names. All right. I've been thinking about tradition a lot, ever since you got pregnant. To what degree should we honor our ancestors, in what ways, and all that. About the identity of our daughter. I think the name ties into that."

"So what, do you want to choose some name of one of our ancestors?" Maya asked.

"See, I was thinking about that. But then, I don't think it would really fit who we are as a couple, would it? And who's going to be more important to our daughter than her moms? So let's choose something fresh that will reflect us as people."

"Also, our ancestors were probably homophobic." Maya laughed.

"Or maybe some of them were closeted and forced to hide their whole life," Elle pondered, "and now we honor their life by openly celebrating who we are? I prefer to think of it that way. And those who were straight and homophobic, they'd probably change their minds if they saw us now."

"You're so distracted today, really." Maya kissed Elle's forehead. "Back to the names. What do you think about Alex?"

"Alex?"

"Mhmm." Maya nodded. "It's universal, short and cute, could be feminine or masculine, and I think it matches our names." After a moment, she added, "And surnames."

"I like it, Alex Monroe-Rodriguez." Elle took Maya in her arms, excited. "I think we've got it! Alex Monroe-Rodriguez, with such a long double surname, a short name works perfectly. I love you." She rocked Maya in her arms side to side, unable to let her go.

The world outside looked bright and saturated, the grass around the house glistening under the plentiful sun, its green leaves vibrant and inviting, carrying shadows of the passing clouds here and there. It was a lovely March day.

"So, is it decided? Her name is Alex?" Maya freed herself from the tight embrace to look at Elle's face. She couldn't wait to see Elle as a mom.

"It's decided." Elle nodded, happiness sparkling in her eyes. "Should we begin preparing for the dinner party?"

"Yes!" Maya got up excitedly, and a wave of nausea overcame her. She couldn't wait to meet her daughter, but she also needed this pregnancy to come to an end for more selfish reasons. "Next time you're the one getting pregnant," she threatened.

Elle looked petrified. "Not in a million years, Baby, I'm not as tough as you are."

"Sure." Maya sighed. She didn't feel particularly tough, only nauseated and heavy.

They entered the freshly cleaned kitchen. Its large window let in a flood of sunlight, which then shone on the surface of light wood countertops and the stone floor. Maya gasped.

"You really outdid yourself, Elle," she said while kissing her neck and reaching to open the fridge. "What were we supposed to make?"

"Ginger garlic chicken with broccoli and sesame chili sauce as the main, cucumber and onion dip with vegetables as the appetizer, lavender martinis as the drink," she recited military style.

Maya looked at her lovingly with a little smile. "Who'd think you'd become such a house chef?" She reached to kiss her, and they locked in a long, sensual one, full of love and hope for the days to come.

"Will you let me cook now?" Elle said in a serious tone of voice, making Maya laugh. "You can stay in the kitchen, though. If you want. I'll bring you a chair."

And she was gone to fetch a chair from the living room. The hours spent together in the kitchen had quickly become one of their favorite ways to spend time, usually with Elle doing everything and delegating small tasks like peeling vegetables to Maya. It made them feel like a proper family to sit in their own kitchen and prepare food together, and they couldn't wait until their baby would join them in the ritual. Elle came back in carrying the chair.

"Let's get this started," she said, opening the fridge in a grand motion. "The bird has been waiting for us in the fridge. You can mix the sauce, Maya."

They cooked and jived to light jazz music, the fragrance of roasted chicken spread in the air and infected them both with powerful hunger. Maya bravely mixed all the sauces and dips, feeling helpful and a part of the cooking. Elle enjoyed flexing her skills when she explained to Maya the process of preparing the chicken.

"Elle, this is disgusting, I don't want to listen to that," Maya complained, twisting her face away.

"No but you don't understand. It's so satisfying, I'll show you how to do it next time," Elle teased, knowing fully well that Maya was disgusted by the process of preparing meat. She still ate it—she just preferred not to know how exactly the thing got to be on her plate.

"Shouldn't you set up the table outside? We don't have that much time."

"Right. Right." And Elle was out of the kitchen.

Their garden was perfect for dinner parties, and they took advantage of it as often as they could. When they'd found the property, only twenty minutes away from the city, they'd fallen in love with it at once. Its garden spread wide, full of cherry trees and flower bushes, a little bit wild in its beauty. Elle wanted to dig a pond somewhere in it, but she'd never gotten around doing it, so after a while, everyone would get annoyed whenever she'd start talking about it.

Whenever the weather allowed, they'd set up a long table there for the guests and delighted in the knowledge that they were the best hosting couple among their friends.

"What tablecloth do we want, Darling?" Elle shouted from the garden. Sometimes she'd catch herself saying things like this and giggle at their domesticity, sounding like the married couples she'd see on TV as a child. Now she was one of them, and she wouldn't change a thing about it.

"The Italian one?"

"Excuse me, which one is the Italian one?"

"The blue checkered one!" Maya looked out the window. "Do you remember? The Italian guy gave it to us that summer."

"Oh… I know which one," Elle lied. "Can you check on the chicken? It should be ready."

If she could, she'd host dinner parties every weekend. There seemed something so graceful about welcoming friends into their home and the organizational zeal that preceded the party.

She knew that once Alex would be born things would change. Their energy wouldn't allow for these as often. But there'd be other exciting things to come.

"Elle, should it look like this?" Maya's concerned voice reached her out of the kitchen.

"Like what?!" Elle's blood ran cold. She ran to the kitchen at once. "DID YOU BURN MY CHICKEN?"

The bird sat on its plate covered in coal black. Elle sat down on the kitchen chair, lamenting.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry Baby. I didn't know I had to hurry with it…" Maya touched Elle's back.

"It's fine," Elle said unconvincingly. "It's fine. We can scrape the burned parts off a little. I'm sure it'll still be good inside. It's fine."

"I'll set the table, all right?" Maya said, wanting to leave Elle to her own devices in trying to fix the chicken.

Setting the table was one of the favorite parts for Maya. She'd grown in her mastery of decorations, setting the table with flowers, and buying beautiful cutlery. She felt as if she was in a fairytale, having grown up in a house that couldn't afford anything of the sort, especially not a garden. She put blue-tinted flowers into empty wine bottles, making the sturdy table as beautiful as it could be. Then she made space for candles, going back into the house to fetch them.

"How's the chicken looking?" She laid her hand on Elle's back, wanting to be as supportive as she could.

"Not terrible." Elle grunted like a sculptor in the middle of a creative flow. "I'm fixing it."

Maya nodded, not wanting to interrupt, and went to look for the candles. She had a clear aesthetic vision for the evening, she wanted it all to be full of flowers and warm candlelight, the perfect background for lovely conversations. The heaps of unnecessary trinkets in the drawers of their house always brought a smile to Maya's face. They were little insignificant witnesses to her life together with Elle.

"Maya, they'll be here in twenty minutes!"

"I'm almost ready!"

The light outside took on a more evening tint, the clouds bathing in light orange and pink of the approaching sunset. The temperature dropped a little, making the perspective of a warm meal even more delicious. The first guests began showing up, handing Maya and Elle bottles of wine and kissing their cheeks.

"I brought you something great." Fleur flashed her teeth in a darling smile, "It's the best non-alcoholic wine I've ever tasted." She gave Maya the bottle and the two shared a long embrace.

"It's so good to see you again." Maya finally let her go. "Thank you so much for the wine. We will definitely taste it tonight!"

Soon, the firefighters flooded the little garden gate, some accompanied by their partners. Elle hugged everyone tightly, making light conversation and slowly leading them toward the table. She put on instrumental music, uncorked the abundant wine, and finally commanded everyone to take a seat because she and Maya had been starving for a while already and couldn't wait anymore for the food. The group giggled, admitting they'd also had been waiting to taste Elle's impeccable cuisine. She nodded gratefully, then went inside to retrieve the dishes.

"Do you need any help?" Maya turned around, looking in Elle's direction.

"No, no, sit down, I'll manage," Elle responded, hurrying to get everything.

"She gets so despotic in the kitchen." Maya laughed with her friends once Elle was gone from their sight.

Elle soon emerged out of the kitchen with the appetizers, platters of vegetables and bowls with dips. Everyone dug into them as soon as she set them on the table. No conversation could survive the competition with food. The sounds of biting down and chewing filled everyone's ears, and soon most of the vegetables were gone. The simmering of conversations resumed, slowly building up to the wonderful noise of excited speech.

"Have you thought of a name yet?" O'Malley asked.

"Yes, actually, we decided today." Maya looked lovingly at Elle, taking her hand. "She's going to be named Alex."

The gathering began clapping their hands. "What a nice name. Congratulations!"

Overcome with excitement, Maya had to feel Elle's lips on her own. They locked in a long kiss, forgetting those around them.

"All right, all right, guys. Don't be so disgustingly sweet." Haley rolled her eyes.

"Haley, leave them be. They're wonderful." Kaia smiled, leaning on Hallie.

Elle pulled away from the kiss. "I should get the chicken. It should be warmed up already." he sgot up and ran into the kitchen again.

"I'll go help her." Kaia got up as well and followed Elle into the house.

The rest of the company sipped on their wine, enjoying the last rays of the evening sun. Maya sat quietly observing her friends for a while, delighting in the sight of them all sitting in her garden enjoying Elle's cooking and each other's company. She didn't even have to participate in the conversation to feel its warmth, to feel included. She knew she could join in any time, and they'd welcome her gladly.

"Maya, what do you think of the new department director?" Fleur turned to her.

"Who, the young guy?" Maya studied Fleur's face, sensing something interesting. "I don't know, I think it was a strange choice to make him the director, but I suppose he's charismatic."

"Fleur likes him," Haley said from her corner of the table. "A lot."

"Oh?" Maya laughed. "Really?"

Everyone's attention turned to them, hungry for light-hearted gossip.

"Well," Fleur got flustered, "as long as it wouldn't be unprofessional…"

"I mean," Hallie raised her eyebrows, "I'm not the one to judge, but I think you're fine."

And with that, the chicken finally arrived, carried by Kaia. Behind her walked Elle, carrying the sides. Salads and fingerling potatoes. Everything was beautifully fragrant, filling the air with a promise of nourishing food. The little ah's and oh‘s of approval were honey to the hosts' ears.

"You two are spoiling us." O'Malley shook her head,.

"Only the best for the best." Maya winked at her, more than ready to dive into the food.

The chicken was quickly divided, and Elle watched in awe as everyone devoured her food. Soon, the platters stood empty and the little plates were busy with forks and knives dancing around, from time to time screeching, causing the guests to giggle here and there.

"Elle, this is magnificent," Hallie raised her head from her plate, her eyes wide in wonder.

"Thanks. It's quite a simple recipe," Elle said humbly, even though she didn't feel humble at all. She felt proud and satisfied to be able to be able to feed her friends so well, and in some corner of her heart, she knew that she'd make her mother proud, too.

When the knives and forks had finally been laid down, the time for serious and deep conversations began, as with most dinner parties. When the minds were relaxed by the wine, or in other cases the social atmosphere of openness and love, the topics one wishes to only discuss with close friends began to emerge. Everyone sat back in their chairs, taking in the sweet air of the late spring evening.

"I've been meaning to ask for so long," Hallie said to Elle, and everyone listened in. "When are you planning to go back to full service at the station? We miss you." She looked around for confirmation in the other firefighters' faces.

"Yeah, she's right. We've been asking this ourselves a lot," Haley added.

Elle smiled, always honored to be in the thoughts of her friends, knowing she couldn't avoid the subject for long anymore. She reached for Maya's hand under the table. They'd been discussing this with each other for a long time, and now the moment had finally come to tell their friends.

"I'm not going to be back at the station," Elle said in a serious tone. "I'll take care of talent management part time. I would like to spend time raising our daughter now, especially because Maya's job is already so demanding."

The news created a large stir around the table, their friends looked at each other surprised. Elle knew the decision would be controversial, but she felt good about it and wouldn't have any problems explaining her point of view. Maya tightened her grasp on Elle's hand, wanting to show her support.

"Are you sure?" Hallie asked, raising her eyebrows "You're a great firefighter, and having fully recovered, too… We could use your skills, and you can work only two days a week, anyway."

"I'm sure. I want to commit my time to Alex, and because of the injury and me not working there for a long time anyway, it doesn't feel like a big loss. I'll still be friends with you, just as we are now, but I feel that a new chapter of my life is opening, and I want to welcome it accordingly."

"I think that's a very responsible decision." Fleur nodded, smiling at Elle. "I'm sure you'll be a great mom."

"Thank you, Fleur." Elle smiled at her in response. Being told she'd make a great mother stirred something tender deep inside of her. It was an intense compliment for her to receive.

"I don't know." Hallie looked unconvinced. "You can be a great parent and not sacrifice your career. And don't you want your daughter to grow up with this message?"

Elle took the time to ponder the question. "I think she'll see that when it comes to Maya. But I also want her to know that it's okay to make family life a priority. These things are equally important. Besides, it's not a question of me leaving – rather reentering. Perhaps it's a sign that my time as an active firefighter was meant to end."

"I'd have never expected that." O'Malley shook her head, "Definitely not from you. But if that's what you feel is the next step for you, then I wish you good luck and will always be there to support you two." She looked at Elle then Maya, smiling.

"People change." Elle turned to face Maya and winked. "They really do."

"Well, just don't let Maya overwork herself, hmm?" Fleur added, reaching out to touch Maya's shoulder.

"Oh, we'll make sure she doesn't," Elle said. "We've been thinking of going on a long trip once our baby is past her first birthday."

They plunged into discussions of travel and preferred destinations and everyone's favorite airlines. Advice for travelling with little children was being tossed around, even though no one actually had had a child yet. The atmosphere was mellow, and wanting to end the evening on a lovely note, Elle got up with a suggestion.

"Should we do a little dance party and annoy our already very annoyed neighbors?"

Everyone approved of the idea, pushing the table aside and making space to dance. Elle chose her favorite jazzy songs and some vintage hits like Presley. Everyone got to slow dance in a couple or twirl around the dance floor, free and careless, as if they didn't have to work tomorrow, as if they wouldn't need to leave the garden at some point, the heavenly garden without any forbidden fruits. Maya swayed from side to side, feeling a little too tired to dance, and Elle quickly joined her to keep her company, swaying together with her.

The scents of the garden came blooming stronger with each new day, flowers and trees spreading their fragrances all around the house. Living so close to a small fragment of nature filled both Maya and Elle with an inexplicable sense of joy. Having grown up in a big city in apartments with no gardens or even balcony, their only experiences of it consisted of parks. But this little garden of their own, beautiful and peaceful, shaded with trees and full of bushes, was a place so different from the crowded parks that they considered it much more valuable than their house. They couldn't wait to bring up a child in such an endearing place.

The hour was getting late, and even though everyone was filled with a dance-induced charm and didn't want to leave the hosts in peace, they forced upon themselves to the realization that sooner or later, the wonderful time would have to end. One by one, car by car, they began to leave, promising to visit as soon as an opportunity would show itself.

"Take care of each other." Fleur hugged them both, tender and kind as always.

Her steps sounded gracefully on the stone pavement before the gate shut behind her. The last guests left were Hallie and Kaia, who came up to say goodbye while holding hands.

"I still will need time to get used to the idea of you permanently going away from our team, I wasn't expecting that at all, but here we are… I always thought you'd return after your injury was healed." Hallie looked at Elle for a long time, then shifted her gaze towards Maya. "But I know what a miracle it is to be deeply in love, so deeply that one learns to make sacrifices and changes that seem drastic to the outside world. I hope you'll stay as happy as you seem to be right now." she smiled, squeezing Kaia's hand.

"

I wish you the same," Kaia added. "And whether or not Elle comes back won't change anything about our friendship. If anything, you'll just have to organize more dinner parties. Or we will!" She looked at Hallie, and they both laughed, because neither of them felt particularly passionate about cooking.

"Yes, we'll hire Elle as the cook, though," Hallie added. "It would be better for everyone involved."

"Sorry, guys. I'm only one household's private chef." Elle shook her head, "I'm afraid I'm taken." She pulled Maya closer and kissed her forehead.

"Take care, girls." Hallie and Kaia came up to embrace them and then turned to follow everyone else through the gate, giggling and joking to each other.

Elle and Maya stood following the guests out with their eyes, taking in the beautiful sight of satiated, laughing friends leaving their garden with promises of return on their smiling lips. They looked up to see the stars, although still dimmed, much more visible than in the heart of the city.

"Remember when we were looking at the sky at your old house, and the stars just weren't there?" Maya stroked Elle's back up and down, the gentle massage she knew Elle loved.

"That was one of the luckiest nights of my life," Elle said, smiling. "I understood then that you really meant to stay, and we'd truly be together again for good."

"Did you not believe me before?" Maya laughed. "That's rude."

"I believed you. I didn't know whether to believe myself… Whether I wouldn't mess it up down the line or get scared. But that night I understood I wouldn't allow anything of the sort to happen, and you were there, loving and kind and everything I had ever wanted my love to be."

"Don't be so sweet." Maya climbed up her toes to kiss Elle's cheek, something that required significant effort at this stage of pregnancy. "We need to clean up the mess now."

Elle sighed, "we do, don't we?" She looked at Maya. "You know what? I'll clean it up. You go and take a bath and relax. I'll be done in no time."

"More like you'll be done at 5 a.m." Maya looked at her watch poignantly.

"Then I'll finish the rest tomorrow morning."

She kissed Maya's lips, wishing to linger on them more, but promising herself to commit to the cleaning and finish it swiftly.

"Well, I won't protest," Maya said, turning to go back into the house.

The dishes were stacked on the crowded table, the candles were half-burned through stood cluttering the surface, and the tablecloth was stained with sauces. Elle sighed. Everyone loved to come and eat, but not many stayed to help them clean. She smiled to herself wearily. If they kept having these gatherings this often, the guests will have to start participating in the cleaning rituals, as well. She felt strangely at peace collecting the dishes and carrying them to the kitchen, gradually seeing the table cleaned off and the dishwasher working.

Until she heard Maya shouting.

"Elle! ELLE!" Her voice thundered downstairs.

"What happened?" Elle ran up, terrified by the anxiety in Maya's voice. "What--"

"My water broke," Maya said, standing in the bathroom and looking shocked.

"Fuck." Elle felt her chest tighten with stress, pulsing in her temples. "We should go to the hospital, right?"

"Yes." Maya nodded. "Yes. Let's go."

Elle's thoughts were running at the speed of light and were tangling themselves as a result. They got into the car and sped to Maya's hospital where she knew the midwives and felt the most comfortable.

"I was hoping labor would start with peaceful contractions and I'd be able to stay home," Maya said from the back seat.

"That's fine. It's fine," Elle kept repeating. "Everything will be all right. It doesn't matter how labor started, only that it will end well." She glanced at Maya in the rearview mirror.

"Are you reassuring me or yourself?" Maya laughed weakly, feeling the contractions growing in strength.

"Are you all right?" Elle glanced back again.

"I'm in labor, Elle." Maya knit her eyebrows together. "Keep your eyes on the road, okay?"

"Sure. Sure." Elle gripped the wheel tighter.

In her entire career as a firefighters' driver, she'd never experienced the amount of stress soaring through her veins as she did now while driving through the night streets to the hospital with Maya. The shapes of street lamps and passing cars seemed blurred in her determination to get there fast, the focus on speed taking her thoughts away from the anxiety of Maya giving birth. As a firefighter, she witnessed a few emergency births, but nothing could have prepared her for experiencing her love at the beginning of labor, the journey she knew would be painful and tiring.

"How are you doing?" she asked again, this time still keeping her eyes on the road.

"The same as before." Maya's voice reached Elle's ears. "Fucking stressed, too."

As a doctor, Maya knew exactly what was happening and would happen with her body, yet the experience itself was similar to nothing she had experienced before. The feeling of her body putting all its efforts into one place, one horribly difficult action pulsed through her mind, and she was so, so glad to be with Elle in this moment. She wouldn't want anyone else in the world to be with her in the delivery room.

Upon getting to the hospital, Elle realized she'd have to pull herself together and offer her calm support the way she'd done in the past. The nurses led them to a delivery room through a series of artificial smelling corridors, white walls licked by LED lights. Elle knew Maya would be in the best hands, yet still she couldn't help feeling that this was the highest stakes situation of her life, with two people she cared about the most directly concerned—her love and her child. Her heartbeat nested in her throat, and as she entered the birthing room, cold sweat began running down her back.

"You'll be all right." She took Maya's hand in her own. "I'll be here the whole time."

"Are you sure you're all right?" Maya looked at Elle in concern. "You look like a ghost."

"Dear, I'm about to pass out from stress, but it's not about me today." Elle showed her thumbs up, as she couldn't think of anything more to say. She desperately wanted to be able to talk to Maya and tell her important things, valuable advice or some encouraging words, but her mind was like a lightning bolt, immediate and overcome with sensations, electrifying and quite useless.

For the entire labor, Maya was free to move around, and she did, feeling very restless. They joked with Elle that the baby would be sporty, forcing her mother to participate in her hyperactive ways. Maya couldn't be more grateful for the little jokes. Whenever Elle would say some lighthearted comment she felt secure.

When the contractions got the most intense, however, Maya lay down. For some time, Elle thought she couldn't stand being in the room anymore, but she couldn't be out of it, either. She generally felt as if her existence was in an in-between state that could end only together with the birth, her state of being hanging by the thinnest of threads.

She held Maya's hand. Maya gripped Elle so tightly that the blood stopped flowing to her fingers, and then when she no longer wanted it, Elle began pacing the room like mad, circling around and occasionally bumping into the irritated-with-her midwife.

The midwife kept saying that Maya was indeed doing great, and no complications were on the way, but Elle's thoughts were stubborn, or perhaps it was more her heart, because her thoughts themselves seemed to soar off somewhere inaccessible, leaving her only with love and anxiety racing through her mind.

Push, push, that the midwife had been repeating for a long time burned into her skull, only push, and Maya's face twisted with pain, groans that sounded like death, but she knew they in fact meant only life—hopefully meant only life. Definitely meant only life. That was what the midwife kept saying.

"How is she doing?" she asked a nurse, her face as white as a sheet and glistening with beads of sweat, her hair stuck to her temples.

"She's doing great, darling. There really isn't much to worry about." The nurse patted Elle's back. "You look like you're the one giving birth."

Their exchange was interrupted by an enthusiastic shout.

"Look, the head!" The midwife pointed it out with her finger for Maya to see, but Maya was too tired to look. She only sighed with relief. "Is she alive?" The question had been beating around her mind the entire time. The only thing she felt besides the struggle and pain was the anxiety. Is she alive?

"Of course she's alive!" The midwife seemed almost angry at such a silly question. "Of course she is. I'd have told you otherwise. Now push, push, stay strong."

While everyone was busy, dawn slowly crept up the delivery room's windows. Amidst the gentle strokes of early light, the sound everyone had been waiting for filled the room with screaming new life. The little girl was crying, and together with her, Maya and Elle. When the umbilical cord had been cut and the baby dried off with a towel, she rested on Maya's chest, calming down and quietly breathing, making little sounds that melted everyone's hearts. Elle embraced Maya, kissing her sweaty face and trying desperately not to cry but then realizing that this would probably be the best moment to do so.

"Can I hold her?" she asked, gently stroking the little girl's hair.

"Of course." Maya delicately passed the towel-wrapped baby into Elle's arms. "She's perfect" Maya declared, looking at her child lovingly, then meeting Elle's eyes.

"She absolutely is." Elle nodded, kissing the newborn's head. Nothing existed to her in that moment besides her daughter and Maya. "Hello, Alex, nice to meet you."

Silver paths of tears decorated both their faces, happy and exhausted. It felt only right that their daughter saw the world at dawn, welcomed by a newborn sun embacing the clouds with a soft, pink glow. The occasional flock of birds graced the sky, and the streets were empty, with only bakers working on their morning bread. The couple looked outside the window at the peaceful scenery, holding their baby and each other's hands, wondering how on Earth their lives could contain so much beauty.