13. Chloe

This has beenthe slowest week ever.

I’m not very smart. I can feel the heartbreak from five years ago as if it just happened today, yet here I am ready to jump feet first into anything Elias is willing to offer me. He wants a one-night stand, I’m all for it. He wants to give me three orgasms in one night, I can’t say no. And he tells me that I shouldn’t fall for him, but it doesn’t matter because I’ve been his since I met him five years ago.

As I lock up the gym, my head is on a swivel. I keep thinking he’s going to show up at any time, especially today. I haven’t talked to him since the day after he left, but I have texted with him every day. Either just to chat or play twenty questions. And every night, he’d text me good night, and it took everything I had not to tell him I love him.

As I get closer to my house, I can feel the shift in the air around me. He’s here. I know he is.

And when my house comes into view and I see him standing on my porch, I know I should play it cool, but that’s not who I am. I take off in a dead sprint and don’t stop until I’m throwing my body at him and wrapping my arms around him.

Breathless, I hold on to him, and it feels so good to have his hands at my waist and to feel him holding me.

No matter how many times I’ve tried to convince myself that I need to guard my heart, I have no self-preservation when it comes to him. I smile with my cheek against his chest. “You’re home.”

“Yeah,” he answers gruffly. I’m not sure if it’s because he doesn’t want me to be touching him or if he’s filled with emotion, but he doesn’t try to push me away.

I pull back and look up at him. “Come in and I’ll fix you dinner.”

He shakes his head with a grim look on his face.

I release my hold on him and awkwardly step back. “You don’t want to come in?”

He raises his hand, and for just a second I think he’s going to touch me, but just as quick, he lets it fall to his side. “No, I didn’t mean that. I just meant I’ll go get food. You just got off work; you don’t need to cook.”

“I’ll go with you,” I answer excitedly. There’s no way I’m letting him out of my sight now. I know I’ve missed him, but I didn’t realize how much until I saw him standing on my porch.

“No!” he says, and I physically shrink back from him.

I cross my arms over my chest and search his face. “Elias, do you not want to be seen with me? Is that what this is?”

He rolls his eyes. “That’s not it, and you know it.”

I throw my hands up. “How would I know that? Up until a week ago, you went out of your way to avoid me.”

His jaw tenses, and he stares back at me. “And you know why.”

I can’t hold back the surprise. “I do?”

He matches my stance and puts his arms over his chest. “You don’t want to be associated with this… with me.”

I gasp in surprise. How can he think that? “You don’t know what I want, Elias Majors.”

We have a sort of stare-off, and he’s the first one to break eye contact and shake his head. With a smirk, he says, “Well, tell me then.”

This week without him, worrying about him, has been hell. I told myself that when he came back, I would keep my guard up. I know he can break my heart, and I can’t imagine going through that again, but as soon as I saw him on the porch, all my thoughts on self-preservation went out the window. I reach for his arms and unlock them from around him before looping my arm in his. “I want to go pick up something to eat, come back here and eat, maybe talk a little, and then I’m hoping we can have a repeat of the other night.”

His eyes, which were hooded only a moment ago, pop open wide. “A repeat?”

I shrug. “I mean, if you’re up for it.”

I don’t give him time to answer; instead, I pull on him until he falls into step beside me and we start walking toward town.

“So I know you can’t really talk about it, but was your mission successful?”

He nods his head, and I’m watching him instead of where I’m going. All of a sudden, he releases my arm and then wraps it around my shoulder and pulls me closer to him as we pass a man coming toward us on the sidewalk. He’s about to let me go, but I put my hand on his that’s over my shoulder. I almost feel like I have to beg him for his touch, and when he does things like this, I don’t want him to stop.

He clears his throat. “Where are we going?”

“Red’s Diner. Is that okay with you?”

His jaw tightens, but he nods his head in agreement. I enjoy the feel of being in his arms, but the closer we get to the restaurant, the more quiet and tense he gets. As he opens the door for us to walk in, I ask him, “You okay?”

He grits his teeth. “Yeah, let’s get this over with.”

He enters the restaurant with his head down and hood up. I point to the back. “We have to go to the bar to order to-go.”

I lead us to the back, and we both sit down. He has his head down, and it’s fuckin’ killing me. I can’t imagine the hell he’s been through, and in a lot of ways, he still is. I turn in my seat and crowd against him. “I’m getting a burger and fries, and I think I’ll get the cake.”

With that, he smiles. We’ve talked about the cinnamon Blaze cake before and how much I love it. “Can’t skip that, can we?”

I nod, and when Katie comes to take our order, she keeps watching Elias. I order first and then wait for him to follow suit. It makes me uneasy the way she’s watching Elias, and even though I don”t have a right, I reach over and put my hand on Elias’ on top of the counter. I expect him to freeze up, but he surprises me by turning his hand and lacing our fingers together. Katie looks at our entwined hands, rolls her eyes, and mumbles something about our food being up soon.

Elias is looking at our hands, and I do the same. Mine is smaller and pale compared to his. There’s a few scars on the back of his hand, and the way he’s frowning, I’m wondering if I messed up. “I’m sorry,” I start. “She kept looking at you, and I know you hate being here anyway and—”

He cuts me off. “You may have messed up and didn’t even know it, Chloe.”

He brings his other hand up and brushes his thumb over the sensitive spot on my wrist. I startle. “What do you mean?”

He tilts his head to where the waitress was standing, but he doesn’t look away from me. “Well, that woman tried to give me her number the last time I was here…”

Jealousy, pure and simple, rages inside me, and I try to pull my hand from his. “Sorry, I thought I was helping… I didn’t consider that you wanted her—”

He cuts me off and leans toward me. “Stop right there. I don’t want her, and I don’t want her attention. The only woman’s attention I want is the woman sitting in front of me thinking she can save me from the cruelties of the world.”

“But—”

He pushes a stray hair off my face. “The reason I said you messed up is because when she gave me her number and told me to call her, I told her I had a girlfriend.”

My eyes widen, and my mouth forms an o.

He chuckles. “Yeah, so I’m sure that the whole town has heard by now that I have a girlfriend, and by your little act of protection here, I’d say the town is going to assume that you’re the girlfriend.”

I swallow and just stare at him. The plan was to keep my guard up, but I’m failing terribly because I’d do anything to be considered Elias’ girlfriend.

I lick my lips, and he groans. “You’re killing me here, you know that, right?”

I scoot closer to him and blink up at him. “What do you mean?”

His hold on my hand tightens, and the way he’s looking at me has me admitting, “I missed you while you were gone.”

He jerks as if I’ve physically hit him in the gut. “Yeah, I missed you too.”

I can’t stop the smile from forming on my face. I only meant to distract him while we sat in the restaurant and waited for our food, but instead, a little more of that wall around my heart has come tumbling down.