14. Elias

I’ve been finishedwith my food for a while now, but I’ve sat here and listened to her tell stories about work while she eats. I should leave, but I can’t force myself.

She opens the Styrofoam with the pieces of cake and holds it up to me to smell. “You want some of this?”

The scent of apples and cinnamon hits my nose, and even though it smells good, it’s nothing to the way she smells. Her scent is becoming an addiction. I put my hand to my stomach. “I’m good right now.”

She closes the container and sets it to the side before cleaning up our mess. “Okay, so, are we going to do this?” she asks with her back to me.

I sit up a little straighter, and my tongue feels thick in my mouth. “I want to.”

Hell, even I’m a little surprised by my admission, but not as much as her. It’s almost like she doesn’t fully believe me when she asks, “But?”

I move to stand up and grip the back of the chair in my hands. “No buts. I want you.”

I wait for her to come toward me, but she stays rooted in her spot. “I want to feel your body against mine this time, E.”

I love the fact she’s shortened my name, creating an intimacy between us, but the warmth and excitement from only a second ago disappear, and I freeze up. “I can’t, Chloe. No matter how much I want that, I can’t.”

She’s staring at me, running her finger along her lower lip as if she’s deep in thought. “What do you mean, you can’t?”

I just stare back at her. “I physically can’t.”

She clears her throat. “Soooo… you can’t perform, you mean?”

It’s then I realize what she means. “With you, I can perform, and there’s no doubt about that. I’m saying… fuck, I don’t even know what I’m saying.” I suck in a breath and let it out slowly. “I just mean that you don’t want to see me like that. Trust me when I say you really don’t.”

Chloe doesn’t play fair, though. She makes a tsking sound, shaking her head. “There you go again, thinking you know what I want. Well, I’m here to tell you what I want, E.” She starts to undress, and my heart skips a beat as she continues to talk. “Do you know I still think about the way your body feels against mine? The way you made me feel special just by the way you touched me and let me touch you. I need to feel that way again, and the only way to do that is if you let me.”

By the end of her speech, she’s completely naked, and all I can do is grip the back of the chair a little tighter. I’m fighting not to reach for her, and it’s a losing battle.

Her hands come up, and she palms her heavy breasts in her hands. I watch as she squeezes them, tweaking the nipples between her fingers. “So you don’t want to be skin to skin with me?”

I’m practically panting, and all I’m doing is standing here. I want to lick every curve of her body. I want to taste her again, and fuck, yes, I want to feel her skin against mine.

She reaches for me and grabs my hand. She walks me around the couch and gives me a gentle shove to sit down. As soon as I do, she straddles my lap. Instinctively I reach for her, but she grabs on to my hands to stop me. “No. You get what you want when I get what I want.”

We both know I could overpower her. Hell, I could talk her into letting me touch her, but I would never do either. Through gritted teeth, I tell her, “You don’t know what you”re asking for, baby.”

She practically swoons when I call her that, and she leans into me, pressing her pussy into my jeans-clad cock. I’m so hard, it hurts but I don’t dare move.

She lifts her hand and traces the scar on the side of my face. I close my eyes and lean into her touch. Damn, it feels like forever since I’ve felt a touch like this.

Her voice is so soft, I have to concentrate to hear her. “How long has it been since you let someone touch you, Elias?”

My eyes pop open, and I stare into hers. “No one since you.”

“Last week?” she asks.

Every inch of my body is strained. “No. Five years ago, Chloe. When I was with you. That’s the last time I’ve let someone touch me.”

“Oh, Elias.” She’s shaking her head, and I hate that my admission has made her sad. She presses her bare breast to my shirt-covered chest. “Will you let me touch you? All of you?”

I practically come in my jeans. I want her hands on me, but I’m not sure she realizes what she’s asking for. “It’s not pretty, and I don’t want to freak you out.”

She tilts her head to the side and puts her hands on each side of my neck. “Do you trust me?”

I don’t even have to think about it. “Yeah, I trust you.”

She nods and pushes the hoodie open. When she can’t get it any farther down my arms, I have to help her. She waits patiently until I shift around to help her remove it. The smile she gives me makes it worth it.

As soon as the jacket is off, she shoves it to the floor. She then reaches for the hem of my Henley and starts to tug it up my body. I stop her and look into her eyes. “If you change your mind—”

She cuts me off. “I’m not going to change my mind.”

I release my hold on her and hold my breath as she pulls my shirt up. I lift my arms so she can pull it off my head and arms, and I have my eyes closed when she’s removed it from my body. I don’t even take a breath as I wait for her to look at me. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn’t to feel her hands and then her lips smooth across my abdomen. I open my eyes and watch as she kisses every visible piece of marred skin. She takes her time, caressing and kissing every inch of me, and I wasn’t prepared for how this could make me feel. I’m so full of emotion that a tear escapes me. In that moment, she looks up at me, and instantly she understands. She leans up and kisses the wetness of my cheek before looking me right in the eye. “It’s okay, Elias. I’m not running away. I hate what has happened to you, but let me make it better. Let me show you that the scars don’t matter to me. Not how you think they do.”

Because I can’t hold back any longer, I seal my mouth over hers.

She presses her breast against my chest, and I moan on contact. She feels so good, like fuckin’ perfection, and I want to savor this forever. From my seated position on the couch, I lift her up. Her arms and legs go around me, and I stalk with her down the hallway and to her bedroom. As soon as I sit her on the bed, she’s reaching for the waistband of my jeans. Unlike last time, I don’t even consider stopping her.

She undoes the button and zipper, and I’m helping her as I kick them down my legs.

There’s no hiding the gunshot wound in my hip, the large chunk out of my thigh, and the scars up and down my leg. But all she does is pull me to the bed and move so she’s on top of me.

She kisses every part of me except where I need her. “Chloe… please…” I beg of her.

She smiles up at me. My cock is standing straight up between us and she’s only inches from being able to put her lips on it. She wraps her hand around my girth and slides it from root to tip. “Here? Is this what you want?”

I lift my hips into her hand. “Mouth, baby. I want your mouth.”

She doesn’t make me wait. She slides her tongue along my length and then takes me into her mouth. It takes everything in me to hold back. Her hands go to my hips, and she bobs up and down on me. All I can do is watch her and try to hold back.

I let a hand slide to the back of her head, and my fingers dig into her hair. There’s a pull in my lower belly, and I’m so close. I gently tug on her hair and pull her off my cock. She whimpers, and I pull her up until she’s lying flush along my body. “I’m about to come.”

She kisses me and pulls away with a smirk. “That’s the point, right?”

I slide my hand down between us and cup her pussy. “I want to come here.”

She smiles and then stops suddenly. “I’m not on the pill, E.”

Another time, I’d ask her for more details, but all I can mutter is, “I don’t have a condom.”

She leans across me and pulls open the drawer. “I got these while you were gone.”

She takes one out of the box and holds the square foil package in her hand. “Can I?”

I tuck a pillow under my head. “Yeah.”

She starts to sheath me, and I have to stop her. “Fuck, I’m so close, baby. Let me do it.”

I finish covering myself and then pull her up my body so she’s straddling me. “I want to watch you ride me.”

She raises up and positions me at her core. Slowly, she lowers her body until she impales herself on my hard, throbbing cock. Her head is thrown back, her back is arched, and I grab onto her hips as she starts to move on me.

“Fuck, you feel so good.”

She rocks back and forth, front to back and then side to side. When she finds her rhythm, she increases her tempo, and it’s taking everything in me to hold back.

I lean up to kiss her, and as soon as our lips meet, I feel her pussy gush, and she clamps down on me. She moans and wraps her arms around my neck as I thrust my hips up to meet hers.

It feels so good, but I need more. I flip her to her back, put her hands above her head, and drive into her.

She pulls from my hold and shakes her head. “No, not this time, Elias. I’m touching you, all of you. That was the deal.”

I release the hold on her hands, and they go straight to the scars on my chest. I thrust into her as I let myself give in to the orgasm.

One thing is for sure: Chloe is touching all of me… even the part of me that I thought I’d closed off… my heart.