12. Elias

It’s beena day since Chloe hugged me and held me close. I thought going away on this mission would be for the best, but I’m missing Chloe something fierce. I’ve tried to convince myself that this space is for the best. I need to keep my distance from her, but even knowing that, it doesn’t stop me from picking up my phone as I stand up to take a break.

“I’ll be back,” I tell the men in the room, and they nod as I walk out into the hot Texas sun. I slide my glasses over my eyes and call Chloe before I can talk myself out of it.

“Elias?”

The surprise is evident in her voice. “Yeah, it’s me. Is it a bad time?”

She rushes to answer. “No, is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine. How’s work going?”

If she’s confused, she doesn’t let on. “Work? It’s good. I just got out of class actually, and I’m sitting in the office, getting ready to start on next week’s schedule.”

“The asshole leaving you alone?”

She laughs. “The asshole? You mean Ronnie?”

“Yeah,” I grunt.

Instead of answering me, she asks, “Why do you care?”

“Because a man should take no for an answer, that’s why, and if he’s bothering you, I can make him disappear.”

She’s laughing, and I can’t help but smile as I listen to her. “That should freak me out, Mr. Military Man, but somehow I just think it’s sexy.”

Fuck, is she flirting with me? All I can think about is being buried inside her last week and what I’d give to do it again. “Are you flirting with me, Chloe?”

She stutters over the words. “Uh, do you want me to?”

I almost say yes and then think better of it. As I run my hand through my hair, I start the apology. “Shit, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t lead you on, and we both know I’m not a good bet when it comes to relationships and shit. I just… I just wanted to hear your voice.”

The silence on the phone is deafening, and I’m starting to regret even making the call. Her tone is soft when she says, “You wanted to hear my voice?”

Fuck, I shouldn’t have said that, but now that it’s out, I can’t take it back. “Yeah. I should be focusing on work, but instead I’m wondering if you’re okay because I know you were sad last night, and it’s my fault.”

“What else?” she asks.

“What do you mean?”

“What else is on your mind?”

I lean against the brick building. I need to get back inside, but I still take the time to answer. “I’m thinking about you in those leggings. I’m thinking about the other night when you asked me to shower with you and I said no when in all reality, I’d have given anything to be able to be with you like that. I’m thinking about you at book club meeting and all those men watching you and you don’t even realize it. And I’m thinking that I’ve hurt you before, and I don’t trust myself to not hurt you again. I’m fucked up, Chloe. I’m no good for you and I should stay as far as possible from you…”

When my voice trails off, she asks, “But…”

Fuck, there’s a but, and there’s no denying it. “But… I can’t. I can’t forget about you. I can’t stop thinking about you. I close my eyes and I’m back in that bedroom with you and your thighs wrapped around my head.” I grit my teeth. “I can still taste you, Chloe.”

“Elias….” she says, and I hear the longing in her voice.

“I know. Look, I need to go back to work. I just wanted to hear your voice, that’s all. Take care, Chloe, and call if you need anything.”

“Okay,” she murmurs, and before I hang up, she says, “Thank you for calling me. I wanted to hear your voice too.”

As soon as I hang up, my whole body trembles. There’s something about Chloe, and I should have known that when I went back to Whiskey Run, I wouldn’t be able to stay away from her. The last thing I want to do is hurt her again, and I don’t trust myself not to. She deserves more than the broken man that I am. No matter how much I want to be with her or how much I wish I was a different man—a whole man—I’m not. The quicker I come to terms with that, the better off we’ll both be.