Chapter Six

Chapter Six

Mike was giddy and nervous all at once. James had agreed to join him in Mike’s reserved box seats at Yankee Stadium to watch a game against the Toronto Blue Jays. Once Mike had received a text from James with the two-month-old selfies along with an admission of his embarrassment over his brother’s revelation, Mike had responded that he felt bad that James had been uncomfortable. Mike had added that he was flattered to have been idolized by someone who seemed so nice and who was so attractive. James had returned a message stating that Mike was just as hot now, and being bisexual himself, James had been afraid that he had been obvious about the attraction during their meeting. James then stated that he hoped they could be friends, despite his little crush. Mike had laughed and responded that he hoped so, since James hadn’t been the only one interested that day. That had earned Mike a heart and a smiley face emoji, as well as an agreed-upon ‘date’ at the ballgame.

Mike had left instructions with security to escort James to the box upon his arrival. Now, Mike was pacing, checking the stocked bar and adjusting the air temperature, wanting everything to be perfect. He was bending over the mini-refrigerator to retrieve a water bottle when he heard footsteps behind him. He straightened and turned, happy to see a beaming James wearing a team baseball jersey, sunglasses, shorts and backwards Yankees baseball cap. Mike thought he would combust. The guy was so cute.

“You didn’t have to stand up,” James said. “I was enjoying the view.”

Mike snickered and walked over to embrace James. Like the last time, he could smell James’ skin and hair, and he reveled in touching James’ strong back muscles as he held him for a moment. “You look nice.”

James rolled his eyes. “I look like every other guy here.”

Mike grinned at the comment. “Trust me. You don’t.” James blushed but smiled, looking down at the concrete floor.

They were about to sit when the crowd was asked to stand for the national anthem.

“It’s been a dream of mine to sing that here at Yankee Stadium,” James admitted as he stood by Mike’s side to salute the flag.

“You’d be awesome, I’m sure,” Mike encouraged. “Maybe I can help make it happen.”

Mike saw that James looked at him with an unreadable expression. James didn’t answer, but when he turned his gaze back to the flag, he had a slight frown. Mike couldn’t understand what he’d said to cause that reaction.

Throughout the game, Mike noticed James knew baseball and he knew the players. He was cheering every Yankees hit, talking about what he expected would happen with each play based on his experience watching the team, and showing visible frustration whenever the Yankees made an error or an out. Mike tried not to laugh at how James was more involved with the team’s fate than he was. He took advantage of the situation, though, bumping his bare leg against James’ each time they raised their arms in elation, and running a soothing hand over James’ back each time something went wrong for the team. Mike was aroused more than a few times, but never noticed a reaction to the contact from James. He wondered if he had misread what he thought to be James’ flirtatious text messages.

“Want a hot dog?” Mike asked James just as the eighth inning began.

James grimaced and frowned at Mike. “Dude, those are so bad for you.”

Mike laughed. “And the beer we’ve been drinking is healthy? I’m starving, so I’m getting one. Want to share? I’d enjoy watching you put it in your mouth.”

James blinked with surprise, then snickered. “Jesus. You’re going to perv watching me eat a hot dog?”

Mike shrugged. “Maybe. It isn’t like the Yankees are worth watching today. They don’t have a chance in hell of coming back from a seven-run deficit.”

James looked offended. “Yes, they do! Some fan you are.”

Mike chuckled and rubbed James’ shoulder. “Okay. I won’t give up. And we don’t have to eat a hot dog. Maybe after the game, we can grab a bite somewhere else.”

James cast his eyes down to his sneakers. “I’m not sure that we should. If you’d like, maybe you could come back to my place. I could make us something.”

Mike nodded, assuming James was avoiding a public dining experience because he didn’t want tongues wagging before anything serious happened between them. “Sure. That sounds nice.”

James gave him a weak smile, then returned his attention to the game, yelling at the plate umpire for calling a ball instead of a strike against a Toronto Blue Jay. Mike grinned. There was some passion in the boy, for sure.

The Yankees ended up losing the game by nine runs. Mike wished they had been victorious so he could see a big smile on James’ face. Still, James turned to him and thanked him, telling him he’d never been in the box before and it was a thrill. It gave Mike the opportunity to suggest they do it again.

James’ phone pinged with a text, causing him to look and bark a laugh.

“What?” Mike asked as they were rising from their seats to exit.

“My crazy brother,” James replied. “He said he was talking to his girlfriend and he told her that right about now, I was creaming my shorts.”

Mike swallowed hard, wiping a hand over his damp neck. “You all talk to each other with such candor—and to complete strangers, too.” Mike recalled the indiscreet conversation from the night at the theater.

James nodded. “Yes. I suspect my father dropped us on our heads when we were babies—purposely.”

Mike wasn’t sure if that was meant to be comical or critical of his father. “Well, as long as you all have fun with each other.”

James’ phone pinged again, stopping James in his tracks so he could read the text. “Oh my God, he’s such a weirdo.”

Mike was beginning to get on board with their quirkiness. “Now what?”

James looked away with a bit of bashfulness. “I can’t even say. It’s too sick.”

“Okay, now you have to tell me,” Mike implored.

James sighed with resignation. “Billy made a comment once that you were so hot, even he would rub one out with you.”

Mike’s jaw dropped. “Uh, thanks?”

James laughed. “So now, he texted me for your number so he could send you a dick pic. He’s yanking my chain, of course. He wouldn’t.”

Mike regained his composure. “Well, as cute as your brother is, I’m kind of enamored by someone else. I’d rather be yanking that guy’s…chain.”

James’ face heated as he glanced away, unable to hide a bit of a grin. “Oh yeah? Who would that be?”

Mike pulled James by the front of his shorts until they were bumped up against each other face-to-face. “I think you know.” Mike leaned in closer to kiss James, but James pulled away with a jerk.

“Sorry,” James mumbled. “It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just, people could see.”

Mike realized he should proceed with more caution. “Yes, you’re right. I’ll be more careful.”

James shook his head to signify it wasn’t a big deal, and they resumed their exit from the box. “I have to think of how to respond to that little fucker.”

Mike laughed. “Here. Hand me the phone.” James was hesitant, but then handed his cell over. Mike typed a text response to Billy and hit send.

“What did you type?” James wondered.

“I typed that it was me—Mike—and I gave him my number and told him to put up or shut up.” Mike looked at James’ shocked expression and wondered if he had crossed a line. “I assume he’ll know that I’m joking, as well?”

James broke into a grin. “Hmm, I think so. Problem is, he’s such a little phisher, I could see him sending the pic just to call your bluff.”

Mike chuckled. “Well, maybe it will give me a preview of what I can expect from you? Are you built like him in that department?”

James’ coloring from his Scandinavian mother revealed his embarrassment once more. “First off, my brother and I aren’t in the habit of playing ‘show me yours and I’ll show you mine.’ Secondly, we don’t resemble each other at all and I assume that applies to everything. We had different mothers and we both favor them as opposed to our father. Thirdly, aren’t you being presumptuous when you suggest you’ll be seeing my equipment?” James’ smile showed he wasn’t offended.

“Am I?” Mike asked as they made their way into the hall.

James didn’t answer. Mike wasn’t sure if it was because he wanted to be a tease or if it was because James hadn’t decided. It was then that Mike’s cell pinged.

“Uh-oh,” James groaned.

Mike looked down at his phone. There was a text that started ‘this is Billy.’ Mike was somewhat relieved there was no attached photo. When Mike opened the text, he was shocked to read Billy’s warning not to sleep with his brother. A follow-up text was displayed. Mike read Billy’s message that if he were to sleep with James or even intimate that he wanted to, it would be game over. Billy’s message explained that James feared relationships, and if Mike wanted more than quick sex, Mike would need to be patient and try to help James see he could have more.

Mike was reeling from the message, surprised by the implications as well as Billy’s gumption and interference.

“Was it him?” James asked.

“Huh? Uh, no,” Mike mumbled. “It was business.”

Once they left the ballpark, James noticed that Mike had become quiet. His flirtatiousness had vanished. Mike offered to take James home in a car provided by a private service, and James wondered if Mike’s silence in the limousine was because he didn’t want to be overheard by the driver.

“Everything okay?” James ventured when they were only a couple of blocks from James’ apartment.

“Hmm? Oh, yes. Everything is fine. I do have some pressing business to address, though. Maybe a raincheck on dinner?”

James felt his heart thud. All day, he had been coaxing his brain and other parts of his body to behave, focusing on the ballgame instead of the tickle of Mike’s leg hairs against his, or the touch of Mike’s strong hand caressing his back. James had been too afraid to escalate anything for fear someone could communicate back to his father about what they’d seen. Now he could have been with Mike in the privacy of his apartment, and Mike was going to bail. He racked his brain to think of whether he had said something off-putting. He didn’t think it was Billy’s dick-pic threat because Mike had played along. James tried to reason with himself that maybe Mike was being honest that a business issue was pressing.

“Okay,” James replied, knowing his tone didn’t hide his disappointment.

“I’m sorry. We can get together again soon.”

James felt some relief, hoping that Mike’s words were genuine. “I understand.”

“Do you play golf?” Mike asked.

James was puzzled. “That’s kind of random, isn’t it?”

Mike shrugged. “I was going to say that maybe we could play a game of golf someday.”

James nodded. “I do play golf. I’m pretty good, I guess. I’m only free on Mondays, though. It’s the day of the week Broadway goes dark. Starting tomorrow, I’m back at work for six days.”

“Okay. We’ll try for a Monday, then.”

James realized the change in their dynamic wasn’t his imagination. While it had seemed earlier that Mike couldn’t wait to be alone with James, he was now suggesting an unspecific Monday to venture back to a public place.

The car arrived at James’ apartment, and James feared it could be the last time he’d see Mike. “Um, do you think you could come up for a cup of coffee before you head to work?”

Mike shook his head. “I’m sorry. Maybe I can call you later?”

James nodded his assent. When Mike didn’t lean in for a kiss goodbye, James felt foolish continuing to sit in the car. “Okay. Talk to you later, then.”

James tried to act unbothered as he exited the car, not looking back as it drove away from the curb. He figured if he received a call later, his worries might be over nothing. If he didn’t receive a call, then James had to face the fact that Mike was making excuses to hide that something had changed between them.

James figured he would have a long wait by the phone, wondering if he’d done or said something to end Mike’s interest.

* * * *

Mike felt bad about the way he had parted with James. Throughout the ballgame, he had been anticipating an evening of making out at the very least, and he still wasn’t sure listening to Billy had been the right thing to do. James had looked disappointed when Mike had told him he had to leave, and he worried that heeding Billy’s advice might have had the opposite effect of what his brother had intended. Perhaps James would refuse a second date, figuring if he wasn’t going to be a higher priority than work, then Mike wasn’t worth wasting time over.

Mike reread the text from Billy and continued to find it odd. Mike didn’t want to think there were underhanded reasons for the message, but James’ comment about Billy wanting to masturbate with him weighed on him. He wondered if Billy could have wanted James to lose interest in Mike with the hopes that Mike would consider Billy’s offer. He also found that hard to believe, remembering how Billy and Nadia seemed like a great match and that Billy and James had a close relationship. Mike hoped his suspicions were unfounded, not only because he liked James and wanted a shot at seeing where things went with him, but also because it would devastate James if his brother betrayed him.

If, on the other hand, Billy had been right that James would end things after a sexual encounter, Mike wondered what that would mean for him and James. Billy had said to try to build an emotional bond with James first. Mike found, though, there were moments when James had been guarded and wasn’t easy to read. Mike questioned whether James would even admit it if he started to develop feelings for him because it seemed that James had a wall around him.

Mike realized that one way to get clarity would be another communication with James. Mike had suggested he might call that evening, and enough time had passed since they parted that Mike’s excuse of having needed to tend to business would still seem plausible. He could pretend he had just wrapped up the last bit of work.

He was about to dial James when another call came in instead. It was from Jessica. Mike’s instinct was to ignore it, but he knew from their history that she would be relentless. It was better to be done with whatever she was calling about.

“Jessica?” Mike answered after clicking the accept icon on his phone.

“What the fuck, Mike? You’re into guys? Is that why you broke up with me?” Jessica yelled.

“No. Jessica, I told you why…”

“Were you screwing around with men while we were dating? Did you give me an STD?” Jessica demanded.

“Jesus. Of course not. That’s closed-minded, isn’t it?” Mike shot back.

“You’re going to lecture me? Were you picturing some dude while you were with me? It makes me sick!”

“Jessica, calm down,” Mike managed. “I didn’t cheat on you, and I never pictured other people when I was with you. I am attracted to women too, and I’m a monogamous guy.”

“Yeah, right. I’ll bet you were picturing some sick sex act with that actor from the musical the whole time we were sitting there watching him perform. You went backstage to meet him, hoping you could screw him, didn’t you?” Jessica accused.

Mike felt queasy. He wondered how she knew that. “What are you talking about?”

“And here I was, sick as a dog, and you were back there doing what? Lining up a time to get nasty with him?” Jessica continued.

“I don’t know why you’re saying that,” Mike replied, trying to stay calm.

“Because there’s a photo of you two online walking out of Yankee Stadium together. The caption under the photo reads something about him being the first guy you’ve been spotted with since announcing you’re a queer.”

“Shit,” Mike said, pulling up the screen on his iPad to search his and James’ names. As Jessica had stated, the photo had made it online, and the verbiage was as Jessica described, though the news wires were careful to note that Vicksburg was not known to be gay and there had been no public displays of affection—at least not caught on camera.

“He’s the reason you broke up with me, isn’t he?” Jessica continued.

Mike wiped a hand over his face, dropping himself on a nearby chair. “Jessica, he and I are friends.”

“Friends? How many times have you seen him since we went to that musical?”

“Today was the first time I saw him,” Mike explained.

“Then how are you friends already?” Jessica challenged. “No, I think you’re into this guy and that little date was the prelude to something sick. Question is, is he into you, too? Maybe I should talk to the press. It might be an interesting tidbit, don’t you think? Baseball star hooks up with conservative senator’s son.”

“Jessica, please don’t,” Mike implored. “Why would you do that to him? Nothing happened between us. I swear. He’s a Yankees fan. I had told him when I met him backstage that I could get him a seat in the box to watch a Yankees game,” Mike lied.

“Why? Why would you offer to do that, unless you’re attracted to him?”

“How about because I’m a nice guy? He seemed like a nice guy. Is it not okay to try to make friends with someone who seems cool?” Mike plowed on.

He could tell Jessica’s certainty about the situation was beginning to waver as she stayed silent for a moment. “Well, he must be an idiot if he went with you one-on-one the day after you announced you’re into cock. Didn’t he worry what people would think?”

“Did you call me to trash-talk me? Your choice of words is insulting and you’re sounding like a bigot right now,” Mike chastised.

“At least I’m not a liar!” Jessica shot back. “You made me the butt of jokes with my friends. One of them asked if I had to wear a strap-on when I had sex with you.”

Mike groaned. He knew some people would be unkind, but it didn’t make it easier to hear the ugliness being directed at him…and now toward Jessica. “I’m sorry they’re doing that. It seems to me they must not be very good friends to speak to you that way.”

“Don’t make this about them,” Jessica snarled. “You weren’t honest with me, and I don’t believe you weren’t screwing men while we were together.”

“I wasn’t,” Mike replied. “I’ve never been with a man like that.”

There was silence for a moment. Mike was surprised that Jessica’s tone then softened. “Well, how do you even know you like men? Maybe you’d hate sex with them. Why are you telling everyone this shit? It’s not too late. You can tell people it was a joke. We could get back together. We had something good, didn’t we?”

Mike leaned his head back against the seat cushion with frustration. “Jessica, stop. I don’t want to get back together with you. You and I are just too different.”

Her anger returned. “I don’t know about that. We both like men, except that’s natural for me and not you.”

Mike heard a disconnect. He thought he’d be ill from the way Jessica spoke to him. She had a right to be angry that he had deceived her, but he had treated her well while they were together and he had tried to be kind when ending the relationship. He was shocked to hear how hateful she was being to him now. It made him realize how many other LGBTQ individuals had suffered that and far worse.

He wasn’t in the frame of mind to call James. He didn’t want to speak with anyone. After a few hours of staring at the ceiling wondering if he had made a mistake in coming out—or in taking James to a public place—he fell into a restless sleep on the chair.