Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

After the photo of James with Mike leaving Yankee Stadium hit the news wire, James’ father had phoned. And as James suspected, the call was about him being spotted with Mike. James was relieved that his explanation was an honest one—he had met Mike at his show and they decided to watch a ballgame together. Charles Vicksburg made an unkind suggestion that James should stay away from other men that shared his ‘frowned-upon preferences’ so as not to be tempted. His father not too subtly mentioned that Mike owned a restaurant in Manhattan—one which his father’s connections could make difficult to operate—if it even remained open.

James pushed through his stage performance, trying to overcome the sluggishness that came with general depression. When Mike hadn’t called him the night before as he had mentioned he might, James was convinced something had gone wrong. He wondered if one of his father’s thugs had already reached out to Mike and threatened him, scaring him off. Though it made James unhappy, he couldn’t blame Mike for backing off, and James thought it might be for the best in the long run.

Once James returned to his apartment from work, it was late, and he just wanted to go to bed to forget the sadness he felt from being trapped by his father and the impact it had on his life.

“Jesus!” James shouted when he flipped on the lights and saw Billy sleeping on his favorite chair.

Billy jolted awake, pulled his fists against his chest, and leaned into the side of the recliner. Once he realized it was James, his face was red from embarrassment and angry that he’d been startled. “Are you trying to scare me to death?”

“What are you doing here?” James demanded.

Billy looked hurt. “Why are you asking in that tone? You told me I’m always welcome here.”

James frowned before dropping his bag on the floor. He walked over to Billy to tousle his hair. “Of course, you are. But it’s eleven-thirty. Did you and Nadia fight?”

Billy appeared offended. “No. We never fight. I was worried about you. You went on your date yesterday and you never even called me. I sent you text messages and you didn’t respond.”

James sighed and sat on the couch. “Sorry. I just felt like it was too much to put in a text, and I was too depressed to talk.”

Billy went to sit next to him. He pulled James’ face toward his shoulder. Because of their height difference, James had to scooch down to rest his head.

“What happened? We were joking around on text while you were at the game. I thought things were going well,” Billy asked.

“They were,” James confirmed. “I don’t know. It was odd. We were heading back to my place, then he said he couldn’t come up because something happened at work and he had to tend to it.”

“Something happened at work? He’s retired.”

James nodded. “He owns a restaurant in addition to the ad work.”

“Oh. So, then what’s odd about what he said?”

James shrugged. “Maybe nothing. It’s just that the whole day he was acting like he wanted to—get together—if you know what I mean. He was finding ways to touch me and make suggestive comments. Then, for no reason, it seemed like he was hitting the brakes.”

James felt Billy flinch and assumed it was Billy’s reaction to the news, suggesting he thought it was a bad sign too. “Did he say anything that made you think he wasn’t interested in you anymore?”

James pondered. “No, but there was a mood change. He did suggest we play golf at some point, but he left it open-ended. It was the sort of thing you’d say to a casual friend when you’re parting. The thing that makes me think something is off is that he told me he’d try to call me last night, then he didn’t.”

“Well, maybe the work thing went late.”

“He hasn’t texted or called me today either,” James muttered. “I wonder if Father had something to do with it.”

“Father?”

James nodded, assuming Billy could sense the movement of James’ head against his shoulder. “He called me after the picture of me and Mike hit the wire.”

Billy groaned. “Let me guess. You got a lecture to stay away from the newly outed bisexual man.”

“Yup, along with a few thinly veiled threats against Mike’s business ventures,” James confirmed.

“What an asshole,” Billy snarled. “James, you can’t keep letting Father control you.”

James pulled his head away from Billy so he could look at him. “You don’t get it. Father doesn’t go after me anymore. He threatens my co-workers. He threatens the people I date. I think we both know he’s good for delivering on those threats. I don’t want to be the reason more people get hurt.”

Billy squeezed James’ shoulder. “You should tell Mike, and let him decide for himself if he’s willing to fight Father.”

James barked a sarcastic laugh. “You mean the guy who doesn’t even call me? If he was already threatened by Father in some way, I think I have the answer as to whether he’d go to battle. Anyway, I’m relieved because I wouldn’t want him hurt.”

Billy nodded. “Of course, but maybe he wasn’t threatened and he didn’t reach out to you for some other reason. You could call him, you know.”

James shook his head. “No. If he was threatened, it would put him on the spot, and it could make him feel guilty that he’s not willing to stand up to Father. And even if he wasn’t threatened, I don’t want to be that needy, starstruck loser who’s begging to be liked by a celebrity. Pathetic.”

Billy was silent for a couple of minutes, then he made an expression where he folded his upper and lower lips into each other. His eyes signaled he was nervous. James knew from experience the look preceded Billy saying something he knew would anger James. “Um, there may be a reason he cooled off with you at the end of your date, and it had nothing to do with Father.”

James was confused. “What are you talking about?”

“I texted him,” Billy blurted.

“You texted Mike?” James asked. He was shocked. “Why? Wait, you didn’t actually send him a dick pic, did you?”

Billy looked mortified. “Dude, no! I would never do that. I was joking with you. Christ, he didn’t think I was serious about hitting on him, did he?”

James shrugged. “I didn’t think so. So, what did you text him?”

Billy started fidgeting with a button on his shirt, as if it was a point of physical irritation. “I might have suggested he not sleep with you,” Billy muttered at his chest.

“You might have what?” James exploded. “Billy, what the fuck? Why do you keep putting your nose in my business? And why would you have said that?”

Billy crouched like he was afraid he’d be punched, even though he knew James would never hurt him. “I was trying to be helpful.”

James dragged a hand through his hair multiple times, then looked down at the space between his knees. He stayed silent for several moments before speaking. “Okay, Billy. I’ve taken a few deep breaths. Now, tell me how you thought that was helping me.”

Billy’s voice was small at his side. “I told him that you were afraid of relationships, and that if you two got together too fast, that might be the end of it. I told him the two of you should get to know each other better first.”

James continued looking down and away from Billy, not responding for a moment. “And you thought that was your place to say that to him?”

“I’m sorry, James. I just hate that you’re alone. He seems like a nice guy, and you mentioned you might like something more with him,” Billy explained, his voice cracking along the way.

James sighed. “Why do you keep meddling?”

Billy projected a bit louder now. “Because I care about you, dammit! You seem hell-bent on punishing yourself for what Father did to your boyfriend—what he did to Daniel wasn’t your fault!”

“Stop interfering!”

“No!” Billy shot back. “Did you stop interfering when Father ordered me to stop dating Nadia? When he cut me off from everything but tuition, you jumped in to cover what I couldn’t.”

“That’s different,” James protested.

“It’s not,” Billy shot back. “Listen, you thought I was wrong to tell Mike that you were into him when you were a teenager, but it opened the door to you getting a date with him. Maybe, just maybe, I have some idea how to help you.”

James resumed mauling his hair. “You sound like Maria.”

Billy smirked. “I’ll take that as a compliment. Maria is never wrong on these things, and she thinks Mike is the one for you.”

James stared at his brother with disbelief. “What? When did she say that? She hasn’t even seen him since the night he met us.”

“When I told her you and Mike were going to the Yankees game. She said, ‘good, he’s the one for puppy’.”

“I love her, but she’s nuts.” James scowled.

“She is not,” Billy defended. “And she loves you. I love you. Nadia loves you. We just want to see you happy, James.”

“Well, your help doesn’t seem to have left Mike too enamored with me,” James spat. “You as much as told him I sleep around and dump people right after. Maybe that’s why I haven’t heard from him. He might think I’m a sleazebag.” When Billy didn’t respond, James shot him a look. “What? Is that what you think of me?”

“I don’t think you’re a sleazebag,” Billy responded.

James couldn’t hide the hurt in his eyes. “I sleep around because it gets lonely.”

Billy reached a hand back to James’ shoulder. “I know. That’s what I’m saying. You deserve to have someone love you, the way Nadia loves me.”

James took one more grip on his now ruined hairstyle, pushing it back until it was sticking up. “Well, thanks. You meant well. I think it may have ended differently than you expected.”

“Call him,” Billy implored.

“If he wanted to talk to me, he would have called me. The ball was in his court,” James asserted.

Billy nodded. “Okay, James. I won’t butt in again.”

James was about to respond that it didn’t matter, as there was nothing to butt in about, but thought better of it. He could see that Billy felt bad enough already about what happened.

Billy rose from the sofa, grabbed his coat off its arm then started walking toward the door. He turned to say something to James, but seemed to realize there was nothing more that could be said, so he walked out the door with his head hanging.

James felt even worse than he had before arriving home. What a poor role model he must be for his brother that Billy believed he needed to help him. It made James sadder to think how he had then emotionally pummeled Billy for his good-hearted attempts.

He stripped down to his boxer briefs and went to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. James sighed when he saw his hair. It was long enough to do crazy things if someone messed with it, and it looked a bit too much like Einstein for his taste. Even though he was going to bed, he took out a brush and tamed the follicles back to the style he’d sported for several years. He took one last glance in the mirror, thinking he didn’t look half bad and how pathetic it was that he was wasting his best years. He knew there would come a time when the Mikes of the world wouldn’t give him a second glance, and he’d be alone with no promise of a relationship.