Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

Lomax

“L omax, put down the tiny shovel and step away from the flowers.”

I laughed and looked over my shoulder to see Ellis standing behind me. She held two bagged lunches in one hand and two bottles of juice in the other.

“It’s lunch already?” I stood and removed my gloves, leaving them beside the flowers I was weeding before taking the juice from Ellis.

“It is. I grabbed you a lunch when you didn’t show up at the dining hall,” Ellis said. “I figured you were still ankle-deep in garden dirt.”

I followed her to the closest stone bench, sinking into it with a sigh.

“You have dirt on your cheek,” Ellis said before smiling at two Draax who walked down the path past us.

I wiped my cheek, and Ellis laughed and brushed the dirt away herself. “You know you don’t get paid extra if you work through your lunch, right?”

“I know,” I said. “I just lost track of time. Plus, there’s something weirdly relaxing about weeding a giant ass garden.”

Ellis ate some warracot before saying, “I’m still kind of surprised you asked to work. Why not just think of this as a holiday? You deserve a break.”

“I get bored easily, and the money I make working for the Draax while I’m here will be enough to get me a motel room while I look for a new job and apartment.”

Ellis frowned. “You didn’t tell me you were homeless.”

“Oh, I wasn’t,” I said, “but my rent was due last week, and with no way to contact my landlord, he’ll have tossed my stuff and rented out my place.”

“Shit,” Ellis said.

“It sucks for sure, especially losing my personal stuff, but I’d rather be alive, you know? Is Inara having lunch with us?”

Ellis shook her head. “No, she’s not feeling well again today. Melu is making her stay in bed with, like, a gallon of juice. Honestly, I’m surprised he didn’t make Sigan hook her up to an IV of gallberry serum.”

“Poor Inara,” I said.

“She’s pretty cheerful despite the horrific nausea,” Ellis said. “But she and Melu are over the moon about having a baby, so that probably outweighs the bad parts.”

“Do you wish you were breeding compatible?” I asked before biting into my sandwich.

“I don’t,” Ellis said. “I don’t want kids, and even if I did, my body could never carry a Draax baby. At least, according to Sigan, it couldn’t, and he’s the expert, right?”

“Right,” I said.

“Happily, Galan didn’t want children either, so we’re both good just being an uda and una to our friends’ kids.”

“That means aunt and uncle, right?” I asked.

“That’s right.” Ellis brushed some crumbs off her pants. “How about you? Do you want kids?”

“No. I used to think I did, but it was more because my mom expected me to have kids. She wanted grand kids pretty badly. But then she died, and I realized that I didn’t actually have a desire to have kids, you know?”

“Totally get it.” Ellis drank some juice. “You know that there are a surprising number of Draax in the castle who are good with not having kids, right?”

I grinned at her. “Are you trying to set me up with someone, Ellis?”

She shrugged. “You’ve been here over a week now, and trust me - you are popular with the Draax. I know of at least three in the docking bay who would love it if you noticed them. And Bitta practically drools every time you walk by him.”

I stared at her. “I don’t… I mean… seriously?”

“Yes,” Ellis said.

“I guess they think I’m down to fuck since I fucked so many Draax on Earth,” I said.

“Stop that.” Ellis scowled. “They’re into you because you’re gorgeous and nice, and your tits could stop traffic.”

I burst into laughter, and Ellis grinned at me. “What? It’s true. Anyway, you’re not even the castle gossip anymore. They’ve already moved on to Falcus, Jenza, and Zara and whether or not she’ll marry both of them.”

“They work in maintenance, right?” I asked.

Ellis nodded. “Yep. They’re thick as thieves and want one mate to share. Pretty sure Zara is going to say yes. Hey, are you into threesomes?”

I blinked at her, and she said, “Wait, that’s not a question you ask someone when you’ve only known them for a week.”

I laughed. “I don’t mind. I don’t think I am. I’ve only ever slept with one Draax at a time, which was always enough for me.”

“Word, girl,” Ellis said, holding out her fist.

I bumped it, and we finished eating our sandwiches in silence before she said, “So, anyway, are you interested in getting to know a Draax better? Because Alber - he works in the docking bay with me - is super nice and sweet, and he’s definitely into you.”

I didn’t reply and Ellis said, “Sorry, forget I asked. I shouldn’t be pushing a Draax onto you when -”

“No, it’s fine,” I said quickly. “It’s just…”

Ellis waited patiently as I poked at the raw bacuri root left in my lunch. I glanced around, but no one was walking the path toward us. “I don’t have a sex drive anymore.”

Ellis stopped with her ellonda halfway to her mouth. “What do you mean?”

“For two years, I slept with the Draax because if I didn’t, I would die, right?” I said . “And they were always nice, they were gentle, they made it good. Only, at some point, it didn’t matter what they did, how they touched me, or how patient they were. I stopped being able to orgasm. And then, about six months ago, I realized that my interest in sex was completely gone.”

Ellis took a bite of her ellonda, a thoughtful look on her face. “That’s not super surprising. Knowing you had to have sex or you would die would take a lot of the fun out of it, I imagine.”

“Yeah,” I said. “But then my heart was healed, and I assumed that my sex drive would come back. But it hasn’t.”

“It’s only been a couple of weeks, though,” Ellis said.

“I know, but I’m young and healthy now, and there are a few Draax here at the castle that I could convince to sleep with me if I wanted.”

“More than a few.” Ellis took another bite of ellonda.

“I can finally have sex again because I want to, not because I have to, and I still have zero interest in it. I’m worried that it’s gone forever, and I’ll be living a life of celibacy.” I stared glumly at my bacuri root before stuffing it into the lunch bag.

“I guess there’s only one way to find out,” Ellis said. “Go on a few dates with a Draax here at the castle and see if your interest in banging comes back.”

“I can’t,” I said. “That’s not fair to them if it doesn’t, and I’m done faking orgasms. I spent the last year faking them and don’t want to do it anymore. I’d rather just be celibate.”

“That’s fair, but you could tell the Draax what’s going on and let them decide if they want to…”

“Let me experiment on them? Because that’s what it would be, which makes me feel kind of awful,” I said. “I’d just be using them.”

“I think any Draax worth your time and effort would be understanding,” Ellis said. “Besides, they think we’re the bee’s knees, remember? Everything we do is amazing to them.”

Her face brightened. “Oh, hey! What about Regan?”

My stomach immediately did a weird flip-flopping thing. “What about him?”

“The two of you have had dinner together every night practically since you got here.”

“Because we’re friends,” I said.

“But you think he’s good looking, right?”

“I guess,” I said.

Ellis gave me a look, and I sighed. “Fine, yes, I think he’s handsome, but I’m not sexually attracted to him. I’m not attracted to anyone.”

I slid off the bench and flopped onto my back on the soft grass beside the stone path. “Maybe I should apply to a convent when I return to Earth.”

“All right, let’s not be dramatic.”

“I can’t help it. I’m a very dramatic person, Ellis.”

She laughed. “You and me both, girl. All I’m saying is that you’re friends, so wouldn’t that make him the perfect person to experiment with?”

“It would make him the worst one,” I said. “Our friendship would be ruined.”

“Not necessarily. You think your sex drive is gone, but maybe all you need is a good kiss and grope session with someone you like and trust to kickstart it.”

“I don’t think it works that way.”

“But you don’t know it doesn’t.”

I stared up at her from the ground. “That is weirdly logical.”

“Right?” Ellis stared at me in delight. “So, ask Regan if he’d make out with you.”

“I can’t,” I said. “He’s not attracted to me.”

“How do you know that?”

“He told me to my face that he didn’t want to have sex with me,” I said. “He was slightly nicer about it than Sigan but very clear.”

Ellis laughed. “Oh God, Sigan is my favourite, I swear. I love that guy.”

“Besides, Regan is sleeping with Lori.” I tried to sound neutral even though it bugged the hell out of me that Regan was having sex with Lori.

“She says he is,” Ellis said.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“He’s with you every night, and I know for a fact that he spends all day in the training room with Galan and the other king’s guard,” Ellis said. “When exactly is he fucking Lori?”

I blinked at her. “Well,… he could go to her after we stop hanging out.”

“I guess,” Ellis said, “but I think Lori is lying through her teeth.”

“She’s only sleeping with him because she wants the power that comes with dating the head of the king’s guard,” I said. “I overhead her talking about it last week. And she even said she would dump Regan for the eastern king if he were interested in her.”

“Hey, have I mentioned that Lori is the fucking worst? Because she’s the fucking worst,” Ellis said.

“She is,” I said.

“Do you think Regan is sleeping with her?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Probably. I mean, why wouldn’t he? She’s gorgeous, and it’s not like she’ll tell him she’s just using him.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

I sighed and trailed my hand through the springy grass. “I don’t know. I like Regan a lot, and I know this is weird, but he already feels like my best friend even after only a week or so, but I’m not sure this is something I can tell him. Not without ruining the friendship anyway. I might feel like we’re best friends, but I’m not certain that Regan sees our relationship the same way. Besides, what Lori is doing is only an issue if he’s serious about her, and if he were, he’d be spending dinner and his evenings with her, not me, right?”

Ellis mulled that over before saying, “True. And if he starts spending more time with her, you can tell him then that she’s using him. But again, I cannot emphasize enough how much I think she’s lying about fucking him.”

We sat silently for a few seconds before Ellis said, “So, Regan’s off the list of potential Draax to bang. What about Bitta?”

“Do you really think he’d be okay with me making out with him just to see if it turns me on?” I asked.

“Only one way to find out,” Ellis said. “He can always say no.”

“Sure, but I don’t want to hurt his feelings if it doesn’t work, and honestly, I’m about ninety-five percent positive it won’t.” I stared glumly at my crotch. “My cooch is dead, Ellis.”

“Maybe not dead, maybe just in a coma,” Ellis said.

I couldn’t help but laugh, and Ellis grinned at me. “Don’t worry, Lomax. There has to be one Draax in this castle who gets your lady garden blooming again.”