Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

Regan

“R egan!”

I turned to see Ilna and Sergel on the stone pathway behind me. They joined me, and Ilna gave me a cheerful grin. “Did you see that I defeated Thromi in sparring today?”

“I did,” I said. “You fought well.”

“And led with both my left and right foot,” he said.

“Your balance has much improved with your right,” I said.

“Because of you.” Ilna squeezed my shoulder companionably as they fell in step with me. “Thank you for your help.”

“You are welcome.” Ilna’s gratitude made me feel happy but a little ill at ease. None of the guard back home ever thanked me or even sought me out outside of training. Why would they? I was not kind to them in training.

“Regan, would you have time tomorrow during training to work with me?” Sergel asked. “My riposte is weak, and Nerlai says you gave him some helpful advice.”

“I would be happy to help,” I said.

“We are doing yoga tonight in the garden if you want to join us,” Ilna said. “It is one of the larger classes Bitta leads, and many of the little females attend it.”

“Which is why you go,” Sergel teased. “I swear you spend more time flirting with them than doing yoga.”

Ilna shrugged. “I wish to be mated, and with ninety percent of the Draax in this province on the breeding compatible list, my chances of being chosen are slim. Why should I not take advantage of the little females in the castle and make one my mate?”

“Teoni does seem particularly fond of you,” Sergel said.

Ilna brightened. “Do you think so? She is so beautiful and sweet. I would be happy to sleep with her if she asked.”

Sergel turned to me. “Well? Will you join us, Regan? Perhaps find your own female to mate with?”

“I cannot,” I said. “I have plans this evening.”

Ilna gave me a knowing smile before elbowing Sergel. “Regan does not need to find a female at yoga. He is busy enough with the two he has.”

I frowned, slowing to a stop in the middle of the path. “What do you mean?”

“You are fucking the new girl - the one who arrived with you. What is her name… it is something strange,” Ilna said.

“Lomax?” I said, my voice thin and reedy sounding.

“Yes, that is the one,” Ilna said. “And Lori, too.”

My jaw dropped. “What do you mean and Lori too?”

“You are fucking Lomax and Lori.” Ilna looked at me like I’d been hit on the head. “Everyone in the castle knows that.”

“I am not fucking anyone,” I said. “Who told you I was?”

Ilna looked at Sergel, who shrugged. “You and Lomax spend every evening together in your quarters or hers.”

“We are friends,” I said. “We have dinner together and nothing more.”

“Oh,” Sergel said. “But you are fucking Lori.”

“I am not.” My voice was too loud, and a flock of caterra birds took off from the nearby tree they were roosting in. “Who says I am fucking her?”

“She does,” Ilna said. “She has told anyone who will listen that you and she are fucking. There is talk that you will ask her to leave the work program and return to the eastern province with you.”

“Bullshit.” The Earth curse word was exceedingly satisfying. “I am not fucking Lori and never have. She is lying.”

“Why?” Sergel said in confusion.

“I do not know,” I said, “but I will find out and put a stop to it.”

Sergel shrugged. “I would sleep with her if she asked me to. She is one of the more attractive little females, do you not agree?”

“I see nothing attractive about her,” I said. “She speaks cruelly to others and is a liar.”

My tail thumped hard against the stone path, and anger pulsed through me. Had Lomax been told these lies? Did she believe I was sleeping with Lori? The thought that she might think that upset me. My attraction to Lomax had only strengthened in the last week and a half, and while spending every night with her was a torture - it was the sweetest of tortures.

My desire to touch her, to kiss her, and to claim her as mine in front of other males was a constant, pulsing need in my very bones, but I was a froden to think it would ever happen. She saw me only as a friend and most likely believed I was fucking Lori. The very human who had been so dismissive and rude to her.

“I must go,” I said abruptly.

“Is something wrong?” Ilna asked.

“No,” I said. “I will see you tomorrow in training.”

I turned and headed toward the garden’s entrance. I would be having dinner with Lomax in less than an hour, but I wanted to head to her apartment now, wanted to make sure she knew I was not sleeping with Lori.

What does it matter? She sees you as a friend only. Knowing you aren’t sleeping with Lori will not change how she sees you.

Perhaps not, but I could not stand the thought that Lomax believed I fucked Lori every night after I left her.

I rounded the corner and slowed to a stop. Madison and Teo sat on a bench, staring at a tablet Madison held.

“Wait,” Madison said, “so when Melu sends his isotope requests, we automatically get this form for the king to approve before sending it to the Scuun. But we don’t send this form to the Scuun. We send the original request from Melu. Is that right?”

“Yes,” Teo said. “File both in our system, but only send the original request. Melu is the only one authorized to request more isotopes, so if you receive a request from another in the docking bay, do not bother to bring it to Quill’s attention.”

“Does that happen often?” Madison asked.

“No, but it has happened on occasion.”

Madison made a few notes on her tablet. “Okay, thanks for explaining it, Teo.”

“You are welcome.” With a loud grunt, Teo heaved himself to his feet before glancing at me. His look wasn’t exactly friendly when he said, “Do you often listen in on conversations you are not a part of, king’s guard?”

“Teo,” Madison said lightly, “Regan is not a spy, and we have nothing to hide.”

“Indeed,” Teo said. “I must go. I have a meeting with the Vokine.”

He started to walk away, and Madison picked up a second tablet from the bench and said, “Teo, your tablet.”

“Krono,” he muttered before turning and taking the tablet. “Thank you, Madison.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said.

My urge to see Lomax had faded, leaving a different one in its place. I stared at the woman I had harmed so severely, the familiar guilt leaving me sick to my stomach. I owed Madison an apology, and I should have done so long before now.

“May I sit with you, Madison?” I asked.

“Of course.” She smiled as I sat beside her, my tail whacking against the bench.

“I haven’t seen much of you in the last week. Are you avoiding me?” she said teasingly.

“Your mate would prefer I keep my distance from you,” I said.

“Krey is protective,” she said, “and I love and appreciate it.”

“He is a good mate to you.”

Her smile softened. “He’s the perfect mate for me.”

“I am glad to hear it.” I stared at my hands before looking her in the eye. “I owe you an apology, Madison, for the part I played when you arrived. I am deeply ashamed that I left you with the Korceans and did not help you when you asked me for it. I do not expect your forgiveness, but I hope with time, you will see that I am truly sorry for what I have done to you.”

She studied me for a moment before smiling. “Thank you for the apology, Regan. I know you feel terrible about what happened, but I also know you were obeying your king’s command.”

“It is not an excuse,” I said heatedly. “My king was wrong for what he tried to do to you, and I knew that, but I did not stop him because…”

“Because why?” Madison asked softly.

“Eastolf was not always this way,” I said, staring at my hands again. “He used to be good and kind, and he was someone I called a friend. We grew up together, and I believe the boy he once was is still there. I have to believe it, otherwise…”

Madison stared at me in sympathy, and I shrugged. “Or perhaps I did not stop him because I am weak.”

“I don’t believe that,” she said. “I don’t think anyone who met you or spoke with you for even a short time would ever describe you as weak, Regan. I think you are someone whose loyalty runs deep, and that’s an admirable quality, not a weakness.”

“You almost died because of me,” I said.

“No,” she said firmly. “I almost died because of your king.”

“I should have convinced him there was another way.”

“From the little I know of Eastolf, there is no convincing him of anything. He does what he wants, and damn the consequences,” Madison said. “It was you who helped me to survive, Regan.”

I stared at her in shock, and she nodded. “It’s true. I was terrified, and you were as kind to me as possible, considering the circumstances. You told me to find my courage. Do you remember that?”

I nodded, and she stared pensively at the tablet in her hand. “When the ship crashed, I was pinned to the wall with a metal rod through my shoulder.”

I winced as her hand rubbed lightly at the shoulder in memory. “The pain was horrific, and I was convinced I would die because the only way to get free was by pulling that rod out of my body myself.”

“Krono,” I said, my voice hoarse. “Human, I am so sorry.”

“I pulled the rod out, and do you know why I could do it?” she asked.

I shook my head, and still rubbing her shoulder, she said, “Because I heard your voice in my head telling me to find my courage.”

I swallowed hard, my throat audibly clicking, and Madison took a deep breath. “I accept your apology, Regan. I forgive you and would love it if we could start fresh. I don’t want you to have any more guilt over what happened. You had no choice.”

“There is always a choice,” I said.

She smiled and squeezed my arm briefly. “But sometimes neither is the right one. Will you agree to let go of your guilt so we can perhaps be friends?”

“I will try,” I said.

“Good,” she said, “Now -”

Her gaze flickered behind me, and a warm smile crossed her face. “Hello, honey.”

I stood as Krey joined us, a little surprised that his usual scowl wasn’t on his face.

“Hello, sadora.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss against her mouth before turning to me. “Hello, Regan.”

I nodded as he stared silently at me before saying, “I overheard your conversation with my mate. Thank you for apologizing to her.”

“I regret my actions,” I said.

“I believe you,” he said.

Madison stood and slipped her hand into Krey’s. Krey glanced at her before turning back to me. “Madison and I are spending this evening with Galan and his mate. You should join us.”

I couldn’t hide my surprise as Madison said, “That’s a brilliant idea, honey.”

“Thank you for the invitation, but I already told Lomax I would spend the evening with her. We are friends,” I added, then blushed for no reason at all.

“She is welcome to join us as well,” Krey said.

“Ooh, yes!” Madison said happily. “Here, I’ll text her now to see if she wants to join us.”

She tapped on her phone and barely had to wait a minute before her phone buzzed. She gave me a pleased smile. “Lomax says she’d love to come. Stop by Galan’s apartment around seven, all right?”

Feeling a little like I’d been body slammed by a groden, I said, “We will see you at seven.”