Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

Lomax

I slowed as I approached the dining hall. I really didn’t want to go in there for dinner. It would have maybe been tolerable if Inara or Ellis were in there, but I had learned from our conversation at lunch that Inara and Melu almost always ate meals in their apartment and that Ellis and her mate were having dinner with the king and queen this evening.

Which meant sitting alone again or attempting to make friends with some of the other women. But as much as Inara and Ellis had assured me that Lori was the only judgmental one of the women, I suspected that wasn’t entirely true.

Besides, what was the point of making friends? I would be back on Earth as soon as the storm ended, and I’d never see any of the women or the Draax again.

Regan’s face popped into my mind, and I immediately pushed it out of my head. My weird rush of excitement at having dinner with him faded quickly at the look of regret in his eyes the minute Bitta left. I had no idea what had pushed Regan to say it in the first place, but his obvious regret and discomfort had been a blow to my ego.

And maybe your lady parts?

No, absolutely not. I did think Regan was handsome, and I was slightly obsessed with the shape of his mouth, but I didn’t want to have sex with him.

I didn’t want to have sex with anyone. After nearly two years of banging Draax four to five times a week, I was over it. Whether it was my rapidly weakening physical condition or my general disinterest, my ability to orgasm had vanished over a year ago. It didn’t matter how patient or skilled the Draax was, I couldn’t come, and I’d been reduced to faking my orgasms to avoid hurting their feelings or, to be frank, getting it over with so I could take my juice and go.

I thought my lack of interest in sex was the result of being sick and knowing I had to fuck a Draax just to stay alive, but so far, my libido had not returned. Madison was right about the Draax flirting. I’d been flirted with numerous times in the last few days and found it more tedious than flattering.

I knew without a doubt that Bitta’s invitation for dinner at his apartment had been a blatant invitation for sex. Despite how good looking and witty and engaging Bitta was in the conversations I’d had with him, I had precisely zero urge to fuck him or any of the other Draax who flirted with me. It made me even more convinced my libido had permanently died.

There were worse things in life, though, right? Plenty of people were celibate and happy with it. So, why did the realization that I would never be into sex again depress me so much?

I was outside the dining hall now but couldn’t make my feet carry me into the room despite my growling stomach. Instead, I turned abruptly and nearly ran straight into Regan.

I blinked up at him before stepping back. “Oh, um, hi.”

“Hello,” he said. His face was a dark green, and his tail snapped back and forth in the air behind him.

I stared silently at that waving tail before clearing my throat and stepping aside to give him access to the dining hall. “Sorry, I’m in your way.”

“I am not going into the dining hall,” he said.

He stared expectantly at me, and I said, “I’m not going in either.”

There was a beat of silence, and then, with an awkward smile, I walked away, staring at Regan in surprise when he joined me.

“Why are you not eating in the dining hall?” His tail smacked against the stone wall with a loud thump . “Are you having dinner with Ditta in his quarters?”

“His name is Bitta, and no, I’m not,” I said.

“Are you cooking your meal in your quarters?”

“I’m terrible at cooking Earth food,” I said with a laugh. “If I tried to cook Draax food, it would be inedible.”

“Then why are you not eating in the dining hall?” he asked.

“I’m skipping dinner tonight,” I said.

A scowl crossed his face. “You must eat, small one. Skipping meals is not good for you.”

“One skipped meal won’t hurt,” I said. “Why are you not eating in the dining hall?”

“I prefer to cook my meals,” he said.

“Okay, well, have a good night,” I said.

I turned left toward my apartment, and Regan made a disgruntled noise before taking my arm and pulling me to a stop. “You will have dinner with me tonight.”

I blinked at him. “Yeah, no thanks. I know you don’t want to hang out with me.”

His scowl deepened, and I shrugged. “Be pissy about it, but you made it perfectly clear earlier that eating dinner with me was the last thing you wanted to do. Why did you even say it, by the way?”

His nostrils flared. “I do not trust that Draax or how he looks at you.”

“Bitta seems like a perfectly nice guy, and he’s the head of the IT here at the castle, so he must be trustworthy. The king wouldn’t have someone who wasn’t trustworthy in charge of that kind of thing,” I said.

“He wants you in his bed.” Regan’s tail whacked the wall again.

“Sure, but that’s kind of the Draax’s thing, right? You want to sleep with us and put your babies in us,” I said.

“I do not want to sleep with you,” he said quickly.

“Oh, you’ve made that clear,” I said cheerfully. “By the way, that whole, “kiss you”, thing once you got me out of the tree was just a joke, okay? I don’t want to sleep with you either.”

Thump, thump went his tail against the wall.

“Then we agree that neither of us wants to fuck the other,” he said.

“Agreed,” I said. “We’re friends only.”

Thump, thump.

“Good. Then you can join me for dinner tonight and I do not have to worry you will see it as an invitation for something more,” he said.

“Sure,” I said. “Dinner with my new friend would be nice.”

Thump, thump.

“Then let us go and have dinner.” He turned, his tail almost smacking me in the ribs as he stomped down the hallway.

“Come, little human,” he said sharply when I didn’t follow him.

“All right, don’t get your underwear in a twist,” I said and chased after him.

* * *

“Oh wow, this is delicious.” I took another big bite of the stew, chewing slowly as the warm and spicy flavour filled my mouth. “What is this again?”

“Maluken stew,” Regan said. “It is one of my favourite meals.”

“You’re a great cook,” I said. “This is the best thing I’ve ever eaten.”

“Thank you.” He drank some water before saying, “Why did you not want to go to the dining hall?”

I shrugged. “I’m a bit of an introvert, and being around a bunch of people can be stressful for me.”

“And you are worried they are judging you,” he said.

I nearly dropped my spoon into my bowl of stew. “Why do you say that?”

“I saw how you looked when the other female said what she did in the garden about how often you fucked Draax,” Regan said.

I stared at my stew, my cheeks turning red. “Christ, sometimes I don’t love the Draax bluntness.”

“You should not be ashamed at what you did to survive, small one,” Regan said.

I made myself look at him. “I only did it because I was dying. I wouldn’t have broken the law if I had any other choice.”

He shrugged. “I will not judge you for that. I, myself, was breaking the law that night.”

“But you do judge me for exchanging sex for juice.”

His brow furrowed in the now familiar scowl. “No, Lomax, I do not. Why would you think that?”

“Just a feeling,” I said.

“Well, your feeling is wrong,” he said.

“Okay, I apologize,” I said. “Don’t get upset.”

“I am not upset,” he said.

“Buddy, you’re upset.”

He took a deep breath. “I am not judging you, and I wish to apologize for my rudeness when Sigan brought you to my quarters. He told me how you gave me juice, and it nearly killed you because of it.”

I shook my head. “I’m pretty sure I would have died with or without that juice.”

“Sigan does not believe so. He also told me you refused to leave Earth unless they took me with you. You saved my life, small one, and I owe you a debt.”

“No, you don’t,” I said. “You saved me in the alley, and I saved you in my apartment. We’re even-Steven.”

“What is even-Steven?” he asked.

“It just means we’re equal. No one owes anyone anything.”

“Even-Steven,” he said.

“Yes,” I said. “How much trouble will you be in when your king finds out you were in California?”

He shrugged. “He will only know if I tell him, and I do not plan on sharing the information.”

I laughed. “Smart. So, how long have you been the head of the king’s guard?”

“Nearly eight years,” he said.

“Do you like it?” I asked.

“Yes, very much so,” he said. “Why did you have a translator on Earth?”

“I used to be a supervisor for a gallberry juice shipping and receiving company in California,” I said. “It was a requirement of the job.”

“You no longer work there?” he asked.

“No, they basically fired me once my heart got bad, and I couldn’t find another job that had any sort of medical insurance or health care. I, of course, did the test to see if I was breeding compatible, but I wasn’t, not even with the new testing parameters. So, I got a job working retail, dropped from middle to lower status, and started sleeping with the Draax for juice so I wouldn’t die.”

“I am sorry that happened to you,” he said.

“Other lowers have it worse,” I said. “I assume there isn’t a Mrs. Regan waiting for you back home?”

He shook his head. “There is not.”

“I imagine the odds of being picked in the breeding program are pretty slim,” I said. “I’ve heard there are a lot of Draax to choose from.”

“Yes,” he said but avoided my gaze before stirring his stew.

“So, what about family? Do you have any siblings?” I wasn’t usually so nosy, but I was weirdly fascinated by Regan.

“I have a younger brother. He still lives with my parents while finishing school but will graduate soon.”

“Is he interested in being a king’s guard?” I asked.

“Krono, no,” he said with a soft smile. “Unlike me, Anden takes after our mother. He is brilliant.”

I frowned. “I think you have to be pretty smart to be the head of the guard.”

He just shrugged. “Back on your planet, my mother worked in a lab. She studied viruses in humans, how they mutated, and what could be done to stop or cure them. My brother studies the same here, and when he is finished with school, he will be working for a company that researches a possible cure for the virus that makes it so difficult for our females to have female babies.”

“Oh, so it’s a virus?” I asked. “I’ve never really known why you couldn’t have girl babies anymore.”

“I do not know the particulars of it and there is much I do not understand even when Anden explains it to me,” Regan said. “But, yes, a virus of some sort is the reason.”

“Are you close with your parents?” I asked.

“My duties to my king keep me away from them more often than I would like, but they understand. My father was the head of the king’s guard before me. He protected Eastolf’s father and Eastolf when he took the throne. I grew up in the castle,” he said. “Eastolf and I played together as children.”

“You’re the same age?” I asked.

He nodded, and I said, “So, you and the king are friends?”

He hesitated, sorrow flickering across his face before he said, “Yes.”

He didn’t sound so sure, but I didn’t press him. “So, you grew up in the castle playing with the prince, and now you protect him as the head of his guard.”

“That is right,” he said. “I joined the military when I was eighteen, and as soon as I completed my year of required service, I applied for the king’s guard. Three years ago, my father retired, and I became head of the guard.”

“Was it an appointed position?” I asked.

“No,” he said. “There are a series of physical and mental tests that you must pass. Three of us did the testing, and I scored the highest.”

“I’m not surprised,” I said with an admiring look. “You’re one of the smartest, toughest people I’ve ever met. So, do you and Eastolf hang out together like Quill and Galan do?”

He shook his head, his gaze falling from mine. “We have grown apart these last few years.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I lost my friends when I became sick, so I understand how hard it is.”

“Why did you lose your friends?” he asked.

I shrugged. “I dropped from middle to lower and couldn’t afford the things they could, plus you kind of lose your urge to party or make future plans when you’re dying, you know? I think I bummed them out.”

He scowled. “They do not sound like good friends.”

“No, I don’t suppose they were,” I said.

There was an awkward silence, and hating that he might feel sorry for me, I hurriedly changed the subject. “I bet your father was over the moon when you were made head of the guard, huh?”

Regan grinned. “He may have thrown a party in my honour.”

I laughed. “He sounds like a good dad.”

“He was strict with my brother and me growing up, but he loves us,” Regan said. “What about you? Were your parents unable to help you when you became sick?”

“They’d died of cancer a few years before,” I said, “and I was an only child.”

He gave me a somber look. “I am sorry, small one.”

“Thank you. I miss them a lot,” I said.

“Did you have a mate before you got sick?” Regan asked.

“I had a boyfriend, but we weren’t married or engaged or anything.” I leaned over to stare at Regan’s tail when it thumped against the floor. “Everything okay?”

“Yes,” he said. “Are you still with your mate?”

“Oh God, no,” I said. “He stayed with me even after I got sick and lost my job, but when it became clear my only chance to survive was by having sex with the Draax for juice, he took off pretty quick.”

“He abandoned you?” Regan frowned.

“I can’t blame him. I was asking him to let me sleep with aliens but still be his girlfriend,” I said.

“But only because you would have died had you not,” Regan said.

“Sure, but it still wasn’t fair of me to ask him to accept that I would be out there schtupping a different Draax every night.”

“Schtupping?” he asked.

“Fucking,” I said.

He tapped his spoon against the edge of his bowl, staring intently at me until I started to feel a little flushed.

“The ironic part is that he was a middle with a high paying job and excellent health insurance. If we had married, I could have gotten onto his insurance and afforded the medicine I needed to slow the progression of the disease and not have to fuck the Draax for juice. But Hunter didn’t want to get married. He said he loved me but that we would regret it if we got married because we had to instead of because we chose to.”

“He could have saved you if he had mated with you and did not?” Regan said slowly.

“Well, maybe not saved me, but definitely given me a fighting chance,” I said. “I wouldn’t have gotten sick so quickly and could have worked longer at my job and maybe even saved up enough cash to buy the juice I needed to heal my heart. Which I told Hunter, but he still refused to marry me. We’d been dating for over two years before I got sick, so it’s not like we were in a brand new relationship or anything. We’d even talked about the future and how we would get married. But apparently, Hunter didn’t really mean it.”

“He is a froden,” Regan said.

“Ooh, I know what that means - fool, right?” I said.

“Yes,” he said.

I shrugged. “I’m not angry with him about it. I mean, I was maybe a little, but I’m more angry with myself for staying with him even after he refused to marry me. I should have dumped his ass right then and there. But I was afraid and already getting pretty sick, and I didn’t want to be alone, you know?”

Regan nodded, and I ate another bite of my food before saying, “But it was pointless in the end because he left me as soon as I told him I was going to fuck a Draax for juice.”

I drank some water and then pointed at Regan’s bowl. “Hey, you’re not eating.”

He studied his bowl before pushing it away. “I have lost my appetite.”

Regret washed over me. “Shit, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told you all that stuff.”

“I am glad you did,” he said, “and sorry you have endured such hardships.”

“Well, it’s a lot better now, right?” I asked. “And once I’m back on Earth, I might even be able to get a job similar to my old one.”

His tail thumped, thumped, thumped. “You are returning to Earth?”

“Once the storm ends,” I said.

“You could work here,” he said. “They have a work program.”

“Sure, but I want to do more than just cleaning or gardening,” I said. “There isn’t anything wrong with doing those things, but I loved my job before, and I want to do something like that again.”

“Right,” he said.

“Anyway,” I gave him another cheerful smile, “tell me more about being a king’s guard. It must be pretty exciting.”