8. Reina

Chapter eight

Reina

I 'm terrible at fishing. Two hours of attempting to spear fish in the shallows with a pointed stick has me at wits' end, and stomach-bottom.

"Are you sure you don't want some of mine?" Jasper asks from the shade where he's roasting his catch.

I refuse to answer him and scare the fish I've got my eyes on. Sunlight shimmers on the surface of the water, trying to blind me as I focus on the blue-scaled creature swimming by my feet. My shoulder aches as I raise my spear for what feels like the thousandth time.

This time I'm going to get it.

I surge downward with my spear and stab into nothing. The water turns murky as the fish kicks up sand in its rapid escape.

"Fuck!" I throw my spear at the shore and wade out of the water.

Jasper's smile has my teeth on edge.

"Funny to watch the princess starve, eh?" I ask.

He shakes his head with a laugh. "No."

"What then?" I demand.

He glances up at me from the weave he's making out of coconut husk. His jovial expression is genuine, and it confuses me and makes my heart soften.

He shakes his head, as if clearing away the thought. "I don't want to tell you. You'll get angry."

I cross my arms to hide the growl of my stomach. "I'm already angry."

He turns his roasting fish with an amused smirk. "I see that."

My legs are tired, so I plop down in the shade near him. "What were you going to say?"

"You're stubborn. It's cute."

My stomach flutters with more than hunger.

No. Do not let him charm you.

"How about I use you for fishing practice? How cute will that be?"

This makes him laugh. "Adorable."

My pulse joins in with my stomach fluttering and I growl. "Insufferable."

I retrieve my spear and wade back into the shallows. It's hot. The midmorning sun bakes my skin in the most delicious way. I feel my magic reserves fill to the brim, and a calming sense of power comes over me.

Stupid fish is going to get it this time.

Within moments, another one of the blue-scaled fish that Jasper said were safe to eat wanders into my area. I let it get closer and closer, watching the warbling image of it flitting around the rocks by my feet.

My fingers drum on the side of my spear as I raise my arm, relishing the burn in my shoulder.

"Don't forget about the refraction," Jasper says. "Shoot under the fish."

I suck air through my gritted teeth. I want to tell him, "I know, I've been remembering the refraction this whole time," but if I speak, I could scare the fish.

It turns, exposing the flat of its head to me, and I act. I throw my weight into the thrust and pierce the water with the spear. It hits the fish with a solid chunk , and I gasp in disbelief. The fish wriggles as I pull it from the water with a victorious cry. " Yes ! I did it! Me !"

Jasper claps from the shore. "Very well done."

I hold the stick overhead and roar, "I caught my own fish!"

He chuckles. "Now clean it."

My elation evaporates at the memory of Jasper gutting his fish, but the scent of the smoking meat is nearly enough to drive me mad. I'm so hungry.

I could surrender and let him gut it for me. I could concede this one time and just let him do it so I don't have to split the fish open and pull out its innards. The thought of slippery blood coating my hands, of bones and intestines sliding around as I slice at the creature, makes me shiver. But if I don't do this myself, I'll owe him. I don't want to be indebted to my captor.

I take a deep breath and return to shore. There's a flat rock dripping with blood from where Jasper cleaned his fish.

He stops beside me, setting his folding knife on the stone. "This'll make it easier."

I grab the knife and pop it open with a satisfying click . The clean blade glints with sunlight. It's long enough to kill a man, and he's just given it to me.

I look up at Jasper, squinting from the sun behind him.

He smirks. "Contemplating my murder again so soon?"

"I never stopped," I say.

He turns away, unafraid that I might stab him. This could be my only opportunity. Can I survive with what he's taught me already?

Before I've even decided, I've jumped to my feet, unwilling to lose this chance at freedom. Jasper stops in his tracks. I clench my fist around the knife, my body frozen.

"If you're going to stab someone in the back, don't hesitate." He glances over his shoulder. "It'll get you killed."

Heat burns in my cheeks and my retort dies on my tongue. I crouch down with the knife and stare at the fish. My stomach is so tight with anxiety, it whines. I should've killed him. I should've just finished it.

Jasper's shadow falls over me and dread slides down my spine like icy fingertips. He kneels in the sand and pulls my fish from the spear. It flops weakly against the stone, then stills.

He grabs my wrist and I stiffen, holding the knife up in warning.

He sighs and releases me. "Will you stop being feral for a moment so I can teach you?"

My jaw hurts from how tight I'm clenching. He reaches out and grabs my hand. His fingers are calloused and the drag of his skin against mine as he peels open my fist sends electric shocks up my arm. That damn fluttering is back in my stomach, and I wish I could stab it out.

"Hold it down with one hand, like this," he says, placing my open palm against the top of the fish. "Push back a little to tighten the skin on the belly."

Keeping one hand on mine, he moves behind me and grabs my knife hand with his other. His chest is cool against my sunbaked skin, but his breath is warm against my cheek. "Put the tip in here first," he says, pointing to where the tail meets the stomach. "And saw your way up to the head."

I'm frozen under his touch, enraptured by his gentleness. My heart pounds as he helps me push the knife into the belly of the fish. It meets resistance at first, and then drags easily up to the head.

I pant in rapid, shallow breaths as his hands slide back from mine and linger on my wrists for just a fraction too long. He pulls away and stands, blocking the sun once more. Little zaps of electric bliss fire down my arms and legs, exploding where his body touched mine.

His eyes glow with pearly, opalescent light as he looks down at me. "Pry it open and take it to the water to clean it out. You can use the blood of the first one to draw in bigger prey."

He returns to the shade and rotates his fish over the small fire.

What in the nine hells just happened?

I set the knife aside and stare at the bleeding fish. I bolster myself and pry open its rib cage. Dark guts squelch out and I retch.

Jasper laughs. "You'll get used to it."

"I don't want to," I say into the crook of my elbow.

"You could always let me do it," he says.

I steel myself and ignore the prickling sensation left on my skin from his touch. "No."

He shrugs. "Your choice."

I take my fish to the sea and close my eyes. "It's just wet socks," I whisper as I throw the bloody entrails. "You're just throwing socks into the laundry."

When the fish is empty inside, I bring it back to the fire Jasper started with just a few rocks and some coconut husk.

Jasper holds out another short stick. "Spear it through the stomach into the head, wedge some rocks together, and lean it over the fire. You don't want it too close because you'll burn the outside before the inside is cooked."

I move a few of the rocks together and pin my fish stick between them. It holds, and within a minute the meat begins to sizzle. Saliva pools in my mouth as I watch my fish get more and more done.

"Now, if you want to have a proper meal, you'd rub some Illyan sea spice on it," Jasper says, producing a small pouch from somewhere on his belt. He holds it out to me. "It's not poison, I promise."

"I believe that you want me alive and well for your sale," I say, taking it. I rub some of the reddened salt on the inside of the fish, then turn it over.

Silence envelopes us as I stare at the sea. I want to be home right now. I want to know if Alyse is okay. I want to know if my rebellion acted without me. I want to know—

"I really don't wish to do this to you," Jasper says, cutting through my thoughts.

I cross my arms, refusing to look at him. "Wish in one hand and shit in the other, see which fills up faster."

He laughs coldly. "Do you always do that?"

"Do what?"

"Hide yourself behind sarcasm."

I glare at him. "I'm not hiding."

His dark eyes bore into mine. "Yes, you are."

His stare is so intense, I feel myself unraveling beneath it. I want to tell him that he can go fuck himself. I want to beg him to take me home. I want to know why he really needs me.

I turn back to the sea. "What would a scoundrel know?"

"Quite a lot, actually," Jasper says, taking his second fish from the flames.

Fire burns in my chest. "Oh, yes, I'm sure you've had it so hard."

"Says a princess." He takes a bite of his fish.

"A princess who was raised like cattle for slaughter!" My eyes burn and I swallow hard.

"What do you mean by that?" he asks.

"Nothing. Forget I spoke."

The silence stretches on as my mind whirls. I shouldn't tell him anything. It's not as if he'll care, anyway. He wants to sell me for his boat and his mansion full of women.

"The dark cloud called you ‘vessel,'" he says between bites.

The air freezes in my lungs.

"Why did it say that?"

"Why do you care?" I snap. "I'm just a bounty."

He sighs and we fall quiet again.

I trace the half-moon scars on my wrists where the black powder burned my skin. The memory of my mother's magic crawling up my body makes me shiver, and I hug my knees to my chest.

The rebellion can't win without me. The queen was badly hurt by the invaders who broke into the palace months ago, but even as injured as she was, she wasn't near death. It was powerful magi who'd attacked her. They'd escaped with their lives, but still lost to her. There is no one equipped to kill her but me.

"It's done," Jasper says, gesturing to my fish as he pulls me from thought.

I tug the stick out from between the rocks and bite into the fish. It's hot, so hot my tongue recoils, but I don't stop. I keep biting down and chewing the meat, keeping my tears at bay by sheer force. I will not show this man any weakness. I will not show him another thing about me he can use.

Jasper grabs my spear and his, then wades into the shallows. By the time I've finished my food, he returns with four more fish. He guts them all with ease and cleans them silently. I can tell he's done this hundreds of times. I wonder if he's ever fed another like this. How many captives has he taken? The answer in my gut says none. I don't think he's ever done this before, and he doesn't want to, either.

That doesn't negate the evil that he's perpetrating against me now.

Jasper rubs each fish liberally with the seasoning and puts them to cook over the fire. "We'll need to make camp on the other side of the island tonight."

"I thought you wanted to get to the next one before sun fall," I say.

"We spent too much time fishing. There's not enough sunlight left, and I still need to finish the paddles," he says, touching the braided husk that he's been weaving between notches he made on a Y-shaped branch.

He's quiet again as he works. I won't help him. I won't accelerate my fate.

I'm not sure how much time passes, but eventually the sun makes it past its apex and begins to fall. Jasper stands over me with the four cooked fish on his spear. "We're leaving now, princess. I need you to hold these while I paddle."

"Can't you just turn into a giant monster again?" I ask.

"It's an octopus, not a monster. And no, I can't. I'm still magically drained," he admits.

He passes the spear of fish to me, and I begrudgingly take it. He pushes the makeshift raft into the shallows and stares at me expectantly. "Get on."

I consider whether I want to make this more difficult. The copper manacles on his belt jingle as he shifts his hips, reminding me that I could have it worse right now. I step into the water and climb onto the raft.

"Good girl," he says as he seats himself at the front of it, legs dangling in the water.

"I'm a woman , you pig."

"Pig," he says with a snort. "I've never shifted into one of those before."

Insufferable.

He carves through the water with his handmade paddle, his shoulders and back flexing under the strain. The rippling of his muscles is hypnotizing. I can't help but watch each pull of the paddle as his muscles move from his arms up his shoulder to his back. His loose gray shirt reveals tanned and marked skin. Inky navy swirls cover his upper back, and the urge to pull down his shirt for a better look surges through me.

I will not pull down his shirt.

We drift around the island through the shallows, each wave rocking us until I'm lulled into a trance. Darkness creeps at the horizon and for a flash, I panic. But these clouds are coming from the south, not from Fynren. It's not the queen.

"Rain," Jasper says, as if sensing my fear. "We'll need to get a shelter set up as soon as we reach the other side."

As if I know how to set up a shelter.

He glances over his shoulder at me with a dashing grin. "I won't let you get too wet, princess."

I groan and roll my eyes at the innuendo. "I've heard enough palace guard talk to understand when someone is being lewd. And you could never get me wet."

"That sounds like a challenge," he says.

"It isn't an invitation."

He turns back to the sea, paddling with long strokes. "I could get you wet."

I don't reply, loving the way the silence is making him squirm.

Then a thought strikes me.

If Jasper is sexually attracted to me, could I use that to escape him, or change his mind? Perhaps if he thought he liked me enough, he wouldn't sell me.

But I'd be trading my honor for freedom…

Zephrom will understand.

I have no other choice.