9. Jasper

Chapter nine

Jasper

S omething is wrong with me.

I want to bury my face in the princess's hair and breathe her in. It's a completely irrational thought, but I'm struggling to subdue it, even with the oncoming storm.

We come ashore on the other side of the island near the outlet waterfall with only minutes to spare. I drag the raft far up the beach and wedge it against a pair of trees.

"We need broad leaves and the rope off this paddle," I say to her hurriedly.

She grabs the paddle and begins unwinding the braided husk, making my task clear. I shimmy up the closest tree, my rough callouses protecting me from the textured bark. I snap five of the bigger leaves off and jump down, moving on to the next tree.

When I've collected a fair number for our shelter, I return to Reina. She's already cleaned out our coconut bowls and has started creating a rocky crevasse for them to sit in to collect rainwater. I tie the first leaf to the middle of the raft, then weave the second next to it, and so on, until I've covered the middle to the bottom of the raft with unmarred leaves.

We work silently as I waterproof our passable shelter and she insulates the openings on either side with coconut husk. The first drops of rain splatter against the sea, moving like a wave toward us.

"Get inside," I tell Reina as I finish tying off the leafy shingles.

Cool drops slap against my face and I rush to finish securing the end of the sennit to the raft. I push aside the leaf blocking the entrance and crawl into the makeshift shelter. Reina is panting heavily and the floral scent of her has already filled up the space. Saliva pools in my mouth and something primal stirs in my stomach.

Reina's tanned skin glistens in the low light—light I realize is coming from my eyes. My magic…why would it be flaring so often like this around her?

Rain slaps against the leaves covering the raft. It's loud, but we stay dry. A flash of lightning bleeds through the cracks and Reina jumps. The thunder follows soon after, making her curl her knees against her chest and hide her face.

I stretch out along the raft and dig into the sand. "Settle in, princess. It's going to be a long night."

She flinches at the next clash of thunder and peeks one eye out from the cradle of her arms. Her pupil is constricted and her breathing shallow. She's terrified.

"Come here," I say, gesturing to the space in front of me.

She balls her hands into tight fists, but they still shake.

"Rei. Come. Here." I don't know what possesses me to call her that, but her face softens at the name. Her arms slowly unwind and she crawls through the sand to me. She stops, looking at the open space by my chest like it's the last place on Gaien she wants to be. Her eyes flick up to mine, her face contorted with frustration.

Another clash of thunder makes her yipe, and the sound pushes me past reason. I wrap my arms around her and drag her down into the sand, then tuck her face into the crook of my neck.

She pushes her hands against my chest with an indignant, fearful whine.

I don't want to, but I relax my grip on her a measure. "Just breathe. All things come to an end. This storm will, too."

"So pathetic," she mutters quietly.

I feel the comment down to that hungry pit in my stomach. I am pathetic, using her fear to get closer to her. It's more than needing her close, though. I want to protect her. I want to take away that fear. I want to be a bastion of strength for her.

I'm more than pathetic.

I'm insane.

"Afraid of a thunderstorm at nearly twenty," Reina says a little louder.

"What about it troubles you?" I ask, gently stroking her back.

"Don't do that," she snaps.

I still my hand and give her a little more space.

"I don't know why," she says, and I can tell she's lying by the way her shoulders tuck up to her ears.

"The chances of being struck by lightning are fairly low."

She looks up at me with blue fire in her eyes. "I don't fear death."

I chuckle. "I didn't say you did. You can be struck by lightning and survive, or so I've heard."

Her expression softens again as a thought flitters across her face.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Do you think my sister is dead?" she whispers, her eyes glossy.

The lightning that tore open the palace—that must be it. She's traumatized from seeing her sister covered in blood, the electric explosion that ended with her being stolen from her home. Of course, it's irrational—much like my need to breathe in her scent—but it's unstoppable all the same.

"I don't know."

She scrutinizes me. "You think she's dead."

I sigh. There's no escaping her shrewd gaze. "She'd bled from every orifice on her face, and she smelled of death. That doesn't mean she's dead, but…"

Lightning strikes the sea and Reina tucks her face down against my chest. She sniffles and shivers, her grief penetrating her fiery exterior. My hand moves of its own accord, stroking up and down her back.

"Stop that," she whimpers.

I hold her tighter. "No."

A sob wracks her body and she curls into me. "Why?"

"Because you're safe right now and I want you to know it. I'm not going to let you get hurt."

She looks up at me, her cheeks ruddy and eyes watery. "You're such a bastard."

I can't help but chuckle. "But I'm not lying."

Her eyes search mine. "No, you're not."

I can see the next "why" forming in her mind. She wants to ask me again what I need her for. She's still not ready to hear it. She doesn't trust me yet. If I tell her and she escapes, or somehow gets word to the king of my plan before I arrive, or any other number of ways she could fuck things up…I would hate her, and myself, forever.

She sucks down a breath and starts to speak, but I cut her off.

"Huge boat, mansion, and beautiful women."

She rolls her eyes with a deep sigh.

"Try to sleep. We have an early start tomorrow."

"If you wake me before sunrise, I will kill you." She wiggles in my hold, but only to get more comfortable, not to escape. Something about that feels incredibly good. The pang deep in the pit of my stomach swells, overtaking more of my body.

I take a slow, steady inhale and some of the hunger is quenched by her scent. There's a tinge of smoke, and sweet coconut milk mixing with it, but I can still smell her. It simultaneously abates my ache and drives me mad.

It only takes a few minutes for exhaustion to pull Reina into Nol'Ther's dreams. I hang on to consciousness a little longer, relish the feeling of her safe in my arms just a little more, and hating myself for what I'm putting her through.

I promise I'll save you. All of you.

The pounding rain fades into the background as I remember my mother's kind, strong face. I wonder if the spots down the side of my little sister's face faded as she aged. She's eighteen now.

I've missed so much.

They've missed so much.

I picture them in our home hard at work. My father hones his rune-writing, drawing the scrawling symbols of the gods into a coral knife for my first deep-sea hunt. My sister weaves her dark hair with nimble fingers, tying it up and away from her face. Mother returns from a council meeting with a fresh kill she picked up on the way back.

But then wails of fear carry over the rushing sound of the sea. Mother pushes me against the wall and I slip into the crack. They swim away, leaving me stuck in the dwelling. I pull on my tentacles and squirm to escape.

The fearful cries transform into pained screams. I rip and tear at myself to get free, finally falling from the crack in the wall. I swim toward the sounds of selkies being captured, but I'm not fast enough. I'm just a little octopus.

Ki'ah Ohn in thick suits made of gold metal descend from above. Bubbles expel from their joints as they descend. They raise harpoon guns and fire nets that bind my family and shimmer like orange crystals. For a moment I'm fascinated, but that wonder quickly turns to dread.

There's something about the nets that prevents selkie magic because my mother can't create jets of water to push the enemy away no matter how hard she tries. Something is preventing my magic, too. I can't shift into my selkie form.

I crawl across the rocks and coral as fast as my tentacles will take me toward them, but the golden Ki'ah Ohn are dragging them away so quickly. Up to the surface they disappear, while I'm stuck on the ocean floor.

Inky purple blood swirls on the current above me. It reeks of greed and desperation. I can't get it out of my gills. It's surrounding me, blocking out the rest of the sea. I'm suffocating.

I wake with a start, gasping on the thin air around me. It smells like the sweetest lust, causing dissonance. My heart pounds as I feel the body curled up with me, so warm and beautiful. She's rolled in her sleep, putting her back to me like I'm shelter. I will be her shelter.

She's so precious. So rare.

Ohksana'amai.

Her hair is soft and messy. It's easy to push my face into it and disappear.

So I do.