Chapter 38

CHAPTER 38

KAYDEN

GAME DAY

I was sweating a shit ton and the game had just started. I wasn't called up first, and that didn't help my nerves at all. Never content to sit still in the box, my knees were popping up and down, about to take flight. I was ready to launch myself over the boards the second Coach called a line change.

Dane, Ethan, and Colin were in position, along with Silas and Finn. And, of course, Maddox in goal. He looked calm. No, that wasn't right. He was calm. When I woke up this morning, I'd been my usual game day self, too much energy, too many nerves. My adrenaline went from zero to a hundred miles an hour in the blink of an eye. Maddox, on the other hand, kissed me good morning and quietly went about getting himself ready. No words spoken after that. Not that I let that stop me from talking. But he didn't mind my chatter. And I didn't mind the fact he didn't want to talk. I knew for sure that he was listening, his eyes following me no matter where I moved.

Until we got to the rink, where we parted ways. Maddox put his headphones on and headed for his stall, and I did the same, walking up to Dane and Jace for my usual pre-game convo. I'd texted them ahead of my arrival to let them know what happened with Axel and Coach. They were concerned about Axel causing issues, but I wasn't. Between Coach's support, my friends, and of course, my boyfriend's, I was confident that nothing changed for us here on the ice.

And I needed that confidence today…

Coach tapped on my shoulder, and I focused on the now. "Remember what we talked about in practice. Keep a close eye on Joliet and Kourinko. They're so fast you're not going to see them coming until it's too late."

Langston College's star forwards. And they were that. Fast as fuck, from the first puck drop, which we lost, to the moment the ref called the first time out. But Langston's weakest link was their defense. Especially Delacourt and Whitman. Both guys were slow to react, and if we took advantage, it might tip the scales.

When I finally got my turn on the ice, the tension was so thick I'm chewing on it—even with my mouthguard. We're closing in on the end of the first period and with no goals on either side, it's still anyone's game to take.

The face-off was ours, with Dane taking control of the puck before passing to Jace. Jace launched into the fray with impressive speed, and with a quick flick of his wrist, he shot the puck to Axel, who, in turn, took off with it like he's powered by jet fuel. It didn't matter how much I disliked Axel Lund as a person. As a hockey player, when he gets going, the guy's a goddamn force to be reckoned with. And after our confrontation outside Coach's office, I was starting to understand him. He didn't want to win, he needed it. And, given that Axel played for Langston College last year, it appeared he also had something to prove.

Axel skillfully deke'd around Delacourt, doing what he does best—making it possible for the play to happen. He passed back to Jace, and Jace doesn't hesitate to make his move, taking the shot. The puck zoomed past the goalie's blocker, and when the buzzer sounded, me and everyone else in the crowd erupted. Jace raised his stick in the air, shock and awe on his face.

Suddenly, we're up by one and anything's possible. But not for long. There's less than a minute on the clock and we've gotta make the most of it.

Coach was right about Langston's forwards. Soon, they're all over us. All over me. I get hit hard by Kourinko, slamming into the boards. Every bone in my body rattled while he skated away like nothing happened.

"Motherfucker," I muttered to myself, trying to catch my breath.

Silas skated up to me, concern on his face. "You alright, Kay?"

I nodded. "Fine. I'm fine. Thanks."

I'm tempted to make a fuss to the ref, but I know that's asking for a penalty we don't need. I shook off the hit—and my frustration—and got back into the fray.

We hold on to our lead. For that period. For the second.

By the time intermission is done, and the third period starts, we're rehydrated and ready to lock this thing down.

Maddox and I were true to our word. Out here, we're teammates. That's it. He's his usual grumpy self, scowling at everyone during the break, and I'm joking around to ease the tension. The only time I go near him is right before we're set to play. I skated around his net, tapped the bar twice, and headed back to my position.

Langston's also benefited from a break, and they came at us hard during the third period. But Maddox blocked several attempts on goal, holding steady. He looked like he was ready to play for hours.

The minutes counted down, and the atmosphere in the rink's completely electric.

I was sitting in the box when the final minute hit and I knew, I fucking knew, that we had this locked down. I was so proud of Maddox, and our team, that my emotions swelled up like a rising tide. It was the first time all game that I let myself go there.

We didn't score again. But Langston didn't score at all.

The buzzer sounded off and with it, the reality that we beat the top college team in the country. The game was over, but for the Sutton Cougars, the party's just beginning.

Maddox

My teammates flooded the ice, jumping around like they were part of a massive mosh pit, yelling, waving, celebrating. But I didn't hear any of it. I was still soaking up the reality that we'd won.

When I looked up at the crowd, I spotted Daniel and waved at him. It meant more to me than I'd ever admit seeing him standing there, cheering me on. He was on his feet, clapping and smiling at me, like any proud parent would. I looked around the venue, finally taking a moment to appreciate the scene, the fans, the moment…

Then, my heart nearly stopped when I saw a man in the crowd who looked eerily similar to my father. What the fuck? I dropped my stick, my legs numb, my pulse racing. I reached for my net to stay upright. I blinked and no, it was a stranger. Of course, it was.

He's dead. He's gone.

Normally, I coveted my mask. My protection. Now I wrenched it off so I could fucking breathe. I took a huge gulp of cold air, in and then out, slowly, until my nerves calmed. Shaking off that weird reaction, I skated toward center ice.

We'd won. We'd fucking done it.

I didn't want to get crammed in with my teammates, but I still wanted to congratulate everyone. Upsetting Langston College was a huge win for us.

Kayden spotted me, skated over, and took hold of my arm, pulling me in for a hug. I was shaking hard. We clutched tightly for a moment, and then I let go and waved at the rest of the team. It was as close to a smile and a handshake as they were gonna get…

After basking in the thrill of our win, we cooled down, showered and changed. A team dinner was happening, and for once, I didn't crab about it. Not out loud, at any rate.

I slipped on my jacket when I heard a telltale buzz. When I reached for my phone, I saw the text from Daniel.

"Daniel's waiting outside," I said to Kayden, who was still getting dressed. "Join me when you're ready?

"Sounds good."

I headed for the hallway, and spotted Daniel standing at the far end. He wore a massive puffer coat and a beanie—or, as we Canadians call it, a tuque—looking like your typical hockey dad. When I finally reached him, he didn't move to touch me. He knew me.

Pushing aside my fear, I reached over and hugged him. After all, I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for his help. He patted my back gently, and when I stood back, his expression was as shocked as mine.

What the fuck did I do? Who am I right now?

"I'm so damn proud of you," he stated. "You were awesome out there. All of you."

"Thanks," I whispered, not comfortable with praise but not wanting to be a dick to one of my only friends. Courage on the ice was easy for me, but outside of it? I'd be working on it for a long while. "Join me and the rest of the team for dinner? I'm sure Coach Banning would love to talk shop with you."

"That'd be great. By the way?—"

Daniel's question was interrupted by Kayden's sudden appearance.

"Hey, I'm Kayden Melnyk. And you must be Daniel Toth. It's an honor to meet you, sir."

Kayden held out his massive hand and Daniel's got swallowed up by it. My former coach and foster dad looked at me and then back up at Kayden. Way up.

"It's nice to meet you too, Kayden. I was impressed by your defensive skills out there. I'm going to be joining you guys for dinner, if that's okay?"

"Cool. Then you can give me the lowdown on this guy," Kayden pointed towards me.

"Hey!"

"What?" Kayden shrugged.

"Don't be taken in by his innocent expression," I warned Daniel.

My former coach was staring at us like he couldn't quite believe what was happening. You and me both, Daniel.

Daniel pointed to my wrist and then Kayden's. "What's that you're wearing? Team bracelets?"

"I made them," Kayden announced proudly. "You want one?"

"Absolutely," Daniel replied. "With Maddox's number and a grumpy face emoji."

Kayden chuckled. "I'm on it."

"You two are hilarious," I snarked, biting back a smile. "Let's get with the leaving already."

Kayden gripped my shoulder. "Come on, bee. We upset Langston College. Show your happy."

"Bee?" Daniel stared at me.

"Shit," Kayden whispered, his cheeks flushed.

"He nicknamed you bee ?" Daniel asked me.

My face was overheating. Where was my mask when I needed it?

"Angry bee," Kayden corrected.

Daniel laughed out loud. "I love it! It's perfect."

He offered Kayden a high five. Jesus. These two were never going to let me hear the end of it. I threw up my hands in mock frustration, but really, it was all good. Who wouldn't like Kayden? Or that silly nickname? If he could melt my salt, he could do anything.

It wasn't until we stepped outside and I took a deep inhale of fresh air that I remembered what had happened after the game.

"I thought I saw him in the crowd," I blurted out.

"Saw who?" Kayden asked, stopping short.

"My father," I admitted. "That's weird, right? It was a panic attack. Probably from the stress of the game."

Daniel turned to me. "Not to mention the calls from the lawyers."

My father's estate. I couldn't put that off forever. I nodded.

"Have you been keeping up with your therapy?" Daniel asked.

I shrugged.

"Yeah, virtual sessions. But we talk mostly about school, and how I'm dealing with the environment here, " I paused. "Talking about my father takes a lot out of me, and most days, I don't have the energy to deal. And I hate talking about him , churning it all up again. I've been in therapy for four years now. When's it going to be enough?"

Never. Bruises faded with time, but the pain of his abuse stayed with me. It dug in deep, and I don't think it was ever leaving.

Kayden slid a hand to my back. Knowing that he had mine calmed me. I never thought I'd trust in anyone else like this, but I did.

"I don't know. But you're strong, and you're here. And look at you now. Can't you see the change?" Daniel asked me. "I can see it."

I stared at him, then glanced at Kayden.

"He's right," Kayden replied. "The first thing you ever said to me was ‘ fuck off .' Now look at us."

I couldn't argue with that. But it got me wondering.

"What made you keep coming back?" I asked.

Kayden paused and bit his lower lip.

"Remember our first away game? When I told you about my dyslexia? Your reaction. It told me that you were so much more than an angry attitude. And I knew. I knew that I had to keep trying."

"Just like that, eh?"

"Just like that."