Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

KAYDEN

I didn't walk back to my dorm. I ran like a goddamn sprinter. Like I hadn't spent two hours on the ice skating my ass off.

My cock was hard and leaking, making a mess of my briefs. I needed to jerk off, and I had to do it now. My roommate better not be around. Or, if he was, he better be prepared to hear my loud concert of moaning and groaning in the bathroom. I couldn't care less who heard or saw me at this point; I needed to come.

But why Maddox and why now? It's not like guys are shy about walking around naked in the open shower room, or the locker room in general, and I never got turned on by the sight before. But suddenly, Maddox's naked swagger was seared in my brain. I couldn't unsee it. I was a total ass man, but I couldn't remember the last time a woman's butt got me going like this. And Mad's? It was high and tight, two handfuls of sweet perfection. Then I noticed more details about his tattoos, the veins in his forearms, and his sculpted thighs. What would it feel like to touch him? To have those arms and legs wrapped around me?

Fuck, I'd never noticed my teammates this way. Or any guys, for that matter. Well, I noticed hot guys before. Sure. But it was always in appreciation, not outright lust. And I had a moment, a second, where I was about to call out to Maddox. To get him to turn all the way around so I could see the rest of him up close. The brief glimpse I got when I walked out was just a tease. Was that semi he was rocking about me or was that wishful thinking? What was even more surprising? This new obsession of mine wasn't only about his dick or that spectacular ass of his. I wanted to look into his stormy blue eyes. I wanted to lean in and taste his lips.

Then I remembered how I'd acted on the ice. Maddox probably never wanted to speak to me again, never mind look at me. And so what if he was half hard? We're young, it's normal. No way he was thinking about me. Right?

Even that did nothing to calm my dick down. I got to my dorm in record time and when I passed through the front entrance, I rudely ignored people, and ran for the elevator. All while holding my backpack in front of me. Strategically.

I power walked once I got off the elevator. Down the hallway, a few more steps, almost there… and finally, I was back in my room. Which was, thankfully, unoccupied.

I didn't waste any time, throwing my backpack on the floor and reaching for my jeans. I unzipped and delved my hand inside my briefs, but then I realized.

Lube, I need lube.

With my jeans around my hips, I shuffled to my nightstand, frantically searching for my lube.

"Yes!" I called out when I found it.

My hands were shaking, and I nearly squirted half the tube on the floor. Shit. Finally, I managed to get some in my hand, thank fuck, and got busy.

"Oh yeah," I moaned as I tugged on my dick, imagining that it was Maddox's hand.

Oh God, why was that the hottest thing ever? Would he be a total control freak? Demanding? I bet he would. Would he tell me what to do? I'd never touched a guy before, except for bro hugs, or swats on the ass. I was clumsy at the best of times, so I'd need guidance in the bedroom for sure. And I really loved that image of him taking over, showing me exactly what he wanted.

"You come when I tell you to come, Kayden."

Yes. This. Fuck, I needed this.

"Fuck my fist," Maddox commanded. "Do it."

I could almost feel Maddox's hot breath in my ear as he jerked me harder, faster, his rhythm never letting up, his other hand cupping my balls, rolling them. When his hand slid from my balls to my hip, I let out a loud whimper.

"No. Don't stop."

But his hand kept moving, sliding back around my ass, teasing the crease. Fuck yes, I wanted him to touch me like this.

When his finger slid over my hole, I pushed back, wanting more. I didn't know what was better, the finger on my hole or the rough grip on my dick. I pumped my hips back and forth, and held on tight to his shoulders, letting him touch me however he wanted.

"You want this?" he growled, teasing my rim. "You want my finger in your ass? What about my dick?"

"Yes. Fuck, yes."

Fantasy me had no hesitation in saying yes, virgin or not.

"Let's see if you can take my finger first."

When he pushed his slick finger inside my hole, slow and steady, I fucking keened. There was so much pleasure mixed with pain, and I wanted more. I needed it. Maddox drilled his finger deeper, and I couldn't hold on anymore.

"I'm gonna come," I moaned loudly.

Maddox's dark chuckle made me shiver. "Next time it's going to be my cock. I'm going to show you who this ass belongs to."

"Yes!" I shouted, my body jerking hard as I came in a heated rush.

In real life—and in my fantasy—shockwaves of pleasure rippled through my body. I crested higher, one incredible wave after another, until I crashed hard and finally calmed enough to take a breath. Opening my eyes, I looked down to find I'd spilled my load in my hand, on the floor, and on my backpack.

"Fucking hell," I panted. "Jesus."

That was the most intense orgasm I'd ever had, and as a horny, almost twenty-year-old, I'd had a lot of them. But an orgasm that started and ended with Maddox? I wasn't prepared for that . What did it mean? Or, did it have to mean anything? I'd heard other guys brag about threesomes with a girl and a guy. Guys that were emphatic about claiming they were straight. Was I just curious? Or was I was bi? Or gay? Was this why the limited experience I had with women was less than what I expected? Or was it because I was a virgin and nervous as fuck about having sex with anyone?

Whatever was going on with me, now that I was seeing Maddox like this, I didn't know if I could unsee it. But that didn't mean I was ready to accept it.

Dane and Jace were queer, but they weren't out to everyone, only their inner circle. They had fears about coming out to the rest of the team. Not a surprise when you consider that the hockey world is still ridiculously behind on stuff like inclusivity.

"What do I do now?" I asked myself out loud.

I could only imagine Maddox's reaction if he found out about me. Then again, I wasn't the only one sporting a hard-on in that shower. He'd turned away, and I thought that would be the end of my curiosity.

But no, it wasn't. I wanted to know what his skin tasted like, especially those lips of his that were always pursed in an angry pout. Would he kiss the same way? Aggressive? Would he maul my mouth and then maul the rest of me?

I had to stop thinking about sex. Sex with Maddox. In the shower, in my bed…and, what do you know? More cum leaked out of my cock.

Suddenly, I knew what I had to do. Talk to Dane. Well, I had to clean up first…

Catching my breath, I stripped off my shirt, and wiped the floor before heading for my shower. Another one.

Then I threw on clean jeans and a sweatshirt, and grabbed my phone.

Kayden: In your room?

Dane: Yup. Jackson and I are studying

Kayden: Does that mean you're actually studying or having sex LOL

Dane: Studying. For now. What's up?

Kayden: I need to talk. It's personal.

Dane: Just me?

Kayden: Jackson too

Dane: Come on over

I headed for the door and sauntered down the hallway to the other end of the floor. As always, I knocked on Dane's door before entering. There were no sex noises, so I assumed it was safe to enter, but still, you never know. It was a college dorm, after all.

"Come on in!" Dane yelled out.

I pushed open the door to find my friends, side by side, sitting on the floor, laptops open, Jackson's dark, curly head leaning on Dane's shoulder. I glanced around, relieved to see that Wayne the gecko was in his tank, and not roaming around Dane's room.

"Hey guys."

My face heated. Jesus. There was no way I was going to make it through this conversation without turning ten shades of red. Then again, what was I embarrassed about? This was sex. No biggie.

Right. Said the virgin.

"Have a seat," Dane motioned to the chair in the corner, put his laptop aside, and got up. "You want anything to drink?"

"Uh, Coke if you have it."

"Diet?"

"Is there any other kind?" I chuckled, my nerves easing.

Dane headed over to his mini fridge while I sat down.

"Sorry about the loss on Saturday, Kay. But I heard you had a good practice today," Jackson offered.

"The team's still finding its rhythm. We'll be ready to grab the next one," I paused. "And practice was, well, interesting."

"You still having issues with Maddox?" Jackson asked. "Dane told me all about your road roomie."

Dane offered me the can of soda, and another to Jackson, then sat back down. I gratefully popped the top and took a long sip. I needed that after a long-ass practice. And a mind-blowing orgasm. Shit, don't think of orgasms. The blush spread down my neck and chest like a rash.

What had Jackson asked me? Oh yeah. Practice. Maddox. Which brought me back to orgasms again.

Focus, Kay.

"It was a misunderstanding," I started. "See, we're in the same economics class. So, I asked Maddox to help me with an essay. We met up Sunday at the library."

"Whoa, you got him to talk to you, and work with you?" Dane asked. "How did you manage that?"

I shrugged. "I guess my annoying persistence paid off. Anyway, when it came time to read each other's essays, I freaked out and took off. Mine sounded so lame and his was like something a PhD student would write. I figured he was gonna make fun of me after that. And then I thought maybe he was helping me as a kind of setup, you know? To use against me later on, like a cruel joke, to tell the team how stupid I am."

"Did he?" Dane asked, his glare immediate.

Jackson looked at me with the same fierce expression.

"No. He said that even though we don't know each other, he'd never do that. And that if he had an opinion about me, he'd tell me to my face. Which, from what I've seen and heard so far, is true. He's blunt about everything," I paused. "Anyway, I guess I overreacted. High school bullshit that I can't seem to shake off."

"Does he know about your learning disorder?" Jackson asked.

I nodded. "He saw me using my reading app in the restaurant on Saturday. It's weird, because normally I don't like to tell people. I know I should own it. It's the way my brain works and I shouldn't be ashamed, but that doesn't make it easier to say. So yeah, I told him. Also about my ADHD. He seemed cool about it. Which is why I was totally off base on Sunday. Leaving like that. And ignoring him in practice."

"I thought he wanted to be ignored," Dane replied.

"Yes and no. He was really pissed that I thought he might be the type of person to make fun of someone like that. And I didn't say anything else. I skated away. But I don't know what to do. I'd finally started to get through to him when we were in Rochester, and now, everything's fucked up again," I paused. "Then there was the shower room incident."

"Incident?" Jackson asked, leaning forward. "What happened in the shower?"

"I was in there, alone. I thought for sure Maddox would wait until I left. But suddenly he was there. And that's not all—" I paused, my body heating as I thought about the way I'd eyed up Maddox's naked body.

Could I tell them? Fuck it. I took a deep breath and went for it.

"I got a boner while watching him and I think he had one too and I can't stop thinking about his ass and what it would be like to touch him or kiss him and then I ran home and I jerked off and now I think I might be bi or gay and I don't know what to do."