CHAPTER FIFTY

N oah

Luke and Troy live a short walk from the arena in one of the brick townhouses in Back Bay that face the Boston side of the Charles. It's not as regal as Finn's parents' place, partly because it's only a single three-bedroom apartment, but also because it is decorated by two guys in their twenties. Pink couches and crown molding isn't their style. Framed hockey jerseys and memorabilia hang in the dark gray living room. A TV is on one side of the room, a worn pool table on the other.

They show me to a guest room with a large bay window.

"Welcome to Casa Us." Troy spreads his already long goalie hands expansively.

I try to smile. "Thank you. It's, um, really nice."

I peer out the window. "Is that MIT?"

"It makes Troy feel smart," Luke explains. "Every bit helps."

"Shut up," Troy says. "I apologize for your new roommate."

I shoot a wobbly grin, and my eyes blur, because that reminds me that Finn used to be my roommate. He used to be more than my roommate. He used to be everything.

Luke and Troy shoot worried looks. I guess I'm really not holding things together.

"Your things are at Finn's?" Troy asks finally.

I jerk my head into a nod, my chest tightening. I'm going to need to pack. Oh, God. Should I go? Get it over with ?

An acid taste invades my throat.

"I'll get your things," Troy promises.

"Seriously?"

"Of course."

The air is suddenly less thick, and the boa constrictor that has wrapped itself around my chest all morning loosens its grip.

"That's nice of you."

"We're all nice here."

Troy waves goodbye and leaves the apartment.

Luke and I eye each other for a few awkward moments. Luke is quieter than Troy.

Finally, Luke's face brightens. "Want to watch Seeking Mr. Right with me? I wasn't able to watch it live last night because of the game."

"Um. Sure."

I know enough about Luke to know this is his favorite show. It's also my mother's favorite show. And though it wasn't Abby's favorite show, it was close.

"I used to watch this with my girlfriend," I say.

"You had a girlfriend?"

"Um, yeah." I shift my legs, wondering if he's going to ask more questions. Guilt spreads through me whenever I think about Abby. "We broke up earlier this year."

"Oh. Is she still single...?"

"It's over between us," I say. "Never that much passion."

My cheeks flame. Luke doesn't need to hear this.

"But there's never that much passion, right?"

I blink .

"I watch Seeking Mr. Right but I know it's not real. No one is that crazy about someone they just met." Luke gives an awkward laugh, and I realize I'm staring.

"I was crazy about Finn."

"Then why—?" Luke closes his mouth, probably realizing that asking why Finn and I are no longer together isn't a polite question.

"I didn't know he wanted an annulment," I say.

"That sucks."

I tilt my head. "I think Abby may have had a crush on the host. What's his name?"

"Sebastian Archer?" Luke's cheeks go a darker shade. "I guess he's attractive. If you are into that. I don't pay attention."

I'm not one to tease.

"The women are stunning," I say.

"Yeah." Luke nods, almost gratefully. He leads me to the living room and gestures to a black couch, the sort that swallows pizza and beer stains with ease.

We sit beside each other.

"Okay. I'm going to tell you everything that happened so far this season to catch you up." Luke hesitates. "Unless you already started watching it? If so, tell me the last thing you remember."

"I haven't watched anything this season."

Luke's face falls. Maybe he's self-conscious he watches the show. Normally, Troy teases him in front of everyone about it. Maybe Luke hates those jokes.

"So you can totally catch me up." I muster all the enthusiasm I can and smile.

"Cool! Okay... this is what happened." Luke launches into a lengthy story about twenty hot women being narrowed down each week until their current number...four.

To tell the truth, I don't pay much attention, but I appreciate that he is trying to distract me.

Unfortunately, nothing can distract me from Finn.

I lie against the couch as cheerful theme music sounds, and a handsome man with blond hair in a suit appears on the stage and announces that he is the host. Gorgeous women soon proclaim their affection for a veterinarian who snuggles cute kittens and puppies.

"Do you think they'll ever have a hockey player be Mr. Right?" I ask.

"A hockey player?" Luke frowns. "They've never had a professional athlete on the show. Do you think people would find that interesting?"

I lie against the pillows and contemplate how wonderful Finn is and how I used to follow him for years. "Absolutely."