CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE

F inn

Banging sounds on my door, and my heart leaps.

Is it Noah? Is he back? Maybe he left his key in his haste and anger. Or maybe he wants to talk? I'll tell him how sorry I am. I'll kneel on the floor and beg him for forgiveness. I want to kiss his fingers, kiss everything.

I leave the dreary sorrow of my bedroom and hurry to the door, sliding on the polished floors. The hallway and kitchen whirl around me until I grab hold of the handle and swing the door open.

And though someone in Blizzards' gear stares at me, it is not Noah.

"Troy?" I blink.

Troy glowers. His umber eyes have never been darker. "Hello destroyer."

"Why are you here?"

Troy doesn't bother to answer me. He brushes his shoulder against my chest as he storms inside so I stagger back.

"You're my best friend," I say, hating how petulant I sound, but unable to stop it. It's all I can do to resist the urge to fling cups and saucers around the kitchen, just to hear them smash, to see something in my mind besides Noah's face.

Troy's whirls around. "Isn't Noah your best friend?"

I'm silent. My heart races. He knows. Of course, he knows .

"Why did you try to annul your marriage?" Troy continues, angrier than I've ever seen him. He marches to my bedroom, even though every time he's been here before, he had a wide smile on his face.

This isn't what is supposed to be happening.

But I don't know how to fix it.

"Um..."

"Isn't that something most people let their spouses know beforehand?" Troy asks.

"I wanted to surprise him."

Troy's jaw drops. "Most people buy their spouses chocolate."

Guilt and shame tangle in my body, flooding every cell. I cannot move. I stand still, watching as Troy flings open my closet.

He removes Noah's suitcase. He doesn't have to ask which one it is, because of course mine is the designer one like the asshole I am.

He unzips it open. "Fill it with Noah's clothes."

"I-I don't want him to go."

"So you're holding his clothes hostage?"

I swallow hard. Can I do that?

"Don't even think about it." Troy moves away from me and starts pulling open drawers. The sound grates against my heart. "These his?"

"Yeah."

Troy nods and starts piling clothes into Noah's suitcase. "I thought you were a good husband."

"I was! "

"Good husbands discuss breaking up marriages. Hell, even bad husbands do that. Terrible ones." His eyes go distant, and I remember that his parents are divorced.

But I'm not bad.

I'm not terrible.

Except I hurt Noah so I guess I am.

"I didn't mean for that letter to get out. Obviously."

"Sure is a convenient way to end things though."

I sigh. "How is he doing?"

Troy's movements slow. "He'll be fine."

"I know."

Troy presses his lips tightly together.

"You're supposed to be my friend," I pout.

"I am being your friend."

I blink.

"I need to talk to him."

"Call him."

"He won't pick up the phone."

"There's your answer."

"Can you tell me where he's staying, at least?"

For a moment Troy looks confused, then he looks guilty. Finally, he sighs. "Look. Why don't you take some time to figure out what you want? There was a reason you looked into an annulment. The same goes for him."

"Right." I collapse onto the bed. "This sucks."

"Happens sometimes." Troy marches to the bathroom. "I assume you have all the fancy stuff?"

"Yeah."

Troy grabs some handfuls of toiletries and shows them to me. "This his?"

I nod miserably.

Troy drops the toiletries into Noah's suitcase and zips it up. Then he drags the suitcase to the door.

"So you're going to take everything and leave?" Desperation moves through me.

Troy's temple pulses. "Looks like it."

This is difficult for him too.

I sigh. "I guess I should thank you. I'm glad you're looking out for him."

Troy nods, then exits.

I stare at the door long after he leaves willing him to come back and tell me that he's taking me to Noah and that everything will be okay.

Finally, I grab my phone to text Noah.

Me: Can we talk?

Message: read

Me: I'm sorry. I never meant for the letter to leak that way. I thought the process would be quiet...I know this damages your reputation. I feel terrible.

Three dots appear, and my heart leaps.

My Sweet Puck : I thought we had a year. I didn't know you wanted an annulment.

Me: I don't want to force us to be together.

Message: read

Me: I really like you.

My Sweet Puck : Same.

I scrunch my forehead. If he likes me too, why isn't he here?

Me: I never wanted to hurt you. Do you want to come back ?

I hold my breath. Please say yes.

My Sweet Puck : It's okay.

I frown at the phone. Obviously things aren't okay. If things were okay, Noah would be here, ideally with his legs wrapped around my waist.

My Sweet Puck: You have been unimaginably generous and protective. I enjoyed every day with you too. But now that everyone knows, we don't have to go back to lying and pretending to be something we're not. You can be free.

I stare at the phone, my heart pounding.