21. 21

21

Edi e

I can't look away from Kalle.

My heart breaks for him, to have to endure all the insults and condescending remarks. I wonder if the king knows and then decide no. Dante wouldn't be welcome if Magnus knew how he treated his son. The lack of respect is appalling, all because of jealousy.

But that's not why I can't stop staring at him.

Last night, seeing the undressed and very wet Kalle was one thing. Those abs will live on forever in my mind. But not only did he spend the night in my bed, this morning he's also shirtless and his muscled chest with the sprinkling of hair looks like the best kind of pillow right now.

I should get up.

We can talk about this upright, and fully dressed. That would be best.

We should get up, get dressed, and figure out what's going on in town. Was the power off all night? Are there any problems after the storm? What about the bar? Plus, Ernie needs to be fed.

But I stay right where I am because I can't believe Kalle just asked if I've ever wanted to kiss him .

Kissing Kalle…

I nod helplessly. It may ruin everything, it might be the worst thing I could do, but I'm past lying about how I feel.

Yes, I've wanted to kiss Kalle, every day for the last sixteen years. I want to kiss him when I see him in the morning, I want to be the last one to press my lips against his at night. I want to find out if his lips are as soft as they seem and if his beard will leave a burn on my cheeks.

I want to know if his kisses are soft and gentle, or if he's demanding.

I think Kalle would be demanding.

I want to know how he tastes.

"Yeah?"

That's all? That's all he has to say?

But no— "Me too," he admits. "Last night."

I swallow, thrown by his honesty. I only managed a nod, but here he is with his truth-telling. "You wanted to kiss me last night?"

"Most nights," he says with a rueful grin. "Pretty much since I've known you."

I sit up because I can't comprehend what he's telling me while I'm lying down. "You can't say that."

He sits up as well, the blanket pooling around his hips and leaving his chest gloriously, beautifully bare. "It's the truth." His voice is gruff but his gaze, when I meet it, is soft.

How can women not melt under that gaze?

"It sounds like you've always wanted to kiss me." My voice is shaky, unsteady but Kalle only shrugs. It might be the most infuriating thing I have ever seen, this morning or ever. "Why didn't you, then?" I cry .

Ernie is off the bed like a shot and even Kalle seems surprised at the ferocity of my words.

"I'd mess it up," he says.

"The kiss?"

"I don't mess those up, sweetheart."

The air around us heightens, stretches. The way Kalle looks at me is how I've always wanted him to look at me but I still don't know. I don't know what he wants, what he means, what he's trying to say.

He's saying that he's always wanted to kiss me—but how is that possible when that's all I've ever wanted?

And why didn't he? That's… that's what I really don't understand, because this is Kalle Erickson, Prince of Laandia, and he's kissed a lot of girls. Women.

Women other than me.

"Have you ever wanted to try?" I've never heard Kalle's voice like that—soft, shy. Hesitant. Kalle jumps in with both feet and figures things out when he lands.

I don't understand why he's never done that with me… if he wanted to. "Try…?" I think I know what he means, from the expression on his face, but I don't know for sure.

I don't know anything right now.

I know I'm not a fairytale princess. I'm just regular Edie England, daughter of the man who cuts the castle lawns.

The royal family is held in high esteem in Laandia; they are the monarchy that rules the country. King Magnus has held the throne for over thirty years and does a great job of it.

Someday Kalle will be king.

Whoever his wife is will be queen .

I've never once, in all our years of friendship, regardless of my mother's irrational daydreams, considered myself to be in the running for that. To be queen of Laandia.

It's laughable.

But yes, I'll admit, I have thought about Kalle like that over the years; that our friendship is so important, but what if there were more between us? What would that be like?

But I never thought of us having a happily ever after together.

Kalle has dated countless women, and every time he came through the door with another one, I wondered if she would end up being The One.

Never me.

I'm not queen material, and that's fine.

But I'm thirty-two years old—we both are. When a relationship fails when you're twenty-two, you think you've got years left to find your person. But when you're thirty-two and thinking of starting a relationship that can't end well…

Kalle and I would never end well because he would never want me for his queen.

Except, didn't he say something like that?

I think maybe I should stop him right there, before he can say something he'll regret.

That might break my heart.

But then Kalle smiles like I've always wanted him to smile at me. Things shift, soften. Begin to melt like chocolate left out in the sun and I can't help but wonder… maybe?

Maybe… ?

"This." Kalle says, motioning between us. Because there is very much an us at this moment. We've always been a team, but this feels different.

It feels like I should get out of bed and stop this before it's too late.

But I don't get up. "Together," he continues, "but… more."

No , I want to say. Because it's not possible. And I'll get hurt. "I don't know," I tell him honestly. "We're friends."

"We could be more? More than just friends." He sounds almost… hopeful.

How can that be? "I thought you…"

"I think it was you."

Does it matter now? If it was Kalle who put on the brakes or me who wouldn't take a chance. It doesn't seem important, not with the way Kalle is looking at me.

But it was me. I know there were times when Kalle looked at me just like he's looking right now, and I stopped it. I'd move or say something or just leave.

Like I want to jump out of the bed and leave.

Because when you've been in love with a man as long as I've been in love with Kalle Erickson, it hurts too much to even consider anything more than the status quo.

I've been happy with him as my friend but if he's asking me to try…

"I don't know," I admit because I have no clue what else to say. One minute I was asleep and the next Kalle is still here and asking why we aren't together, and right now, I can't seem to think of a single good reason why we're not.

Edie and Kalle. It makes sense. The best kind of sense .

Kalle lies down again and my goodness, that's a nice chest. "There is a problem though."

"What?"

"Who, you should ask."

"Fenella?"

He chuckles. "Fenella is not a problem. Fenella was a distraction from the real problem."

"Which is…"

"You're dating my cousin."

I honestly draw a blank for a moment. Maybe it's seeing Kalle's taut stomach or just my sleep-addled brain… or maybe it's because Mathias means nothing to me.

Huh. Mathias means…

I think it's all three.

Mathias invited me to visit, insinuated that he has something important to discuss with me, and I went to bed last night without giving it a single thought. Yes, Kalle was a distraction, but some part of my mind should have wondered. Questioned.

Gotten excited?

But nope. Nothing. Am I okay with that?

"You need to end things with Mathias before anything happens with us," Kalle informs me as casually as if he's back to talking about the storm.

"I don't know," I say.

His face shutters closed like it's a store at the end of the work day. "You don't know if you want to end things with him?"

"No, it's just…" I was answering myself rather than Kalle. "Mathias is nice enough— "

Another chuckle but this one doesn't have a lot of humour. "You should tell him that."

"I'm not telling him anything. I mean… I'll tell him I won't see him anymore but… This is confusing," I admit, flopping back on the pillow so I can face him, pulling up the covers. While I have no problem ogling Kalle, there's not a lot of appeal in what I wear to bed.

But still, Kalle is smiling. At me. And maybe it's because of what I just said, or maybe it's because of the faded Snoopy I have on my shirt.

"It's a lot," I admit. "I'm—I don't move that fast. Last night you were out for dinner with Fenella, and this morning, you're ready to de-friend zone me."

He smirks. "Is that a thing?"

"I don't know what is a thing. Are we a thing? Is this because things didn't work out with Fenella?"

Kalle's mouth tightens. "I'm going to forget you said that."

"But Kalle, I can't forget that we've gone sixteen years without anything more than friendship and now, out of the blue—"

"It's not out of the blue," Kalle says, pointing to the window. "The sky is still pretty gray."

I look at him, exasperation rising like the storm and then, inexplicably, Kalle gives me a mischievous, very Gunnar-like grin, and I can't help but laugh

And then I open that door, the one I've kept closed and locked for sixteen years. The door I've kept my Kalle feelings behind, the one that I've never thought I'd get to open.

It's surprisingly easy to open. It's not stuck at all.

"You are very vexing," I tell him .

"Are we doing Bridgerton-speak? Is this because we didn't get to watch your episode last night?"

"I'd say you're pissing me off, but vexing is a much better word."

"If I kissed you, would that vex you too? Or would it convince you that we could be more than friends?"

That takes the breath out of me, sucks it clear out of my lungs, and I can only stare at Kalle. Kalle, my best friend.

Kalle, the future king of Laandia.

I can't forget that. But somehow, it's not the most important thing right now. "Maybe?"

Oh, that smile. Sly, flirtatious, cocky… My stomach does a 180 flip. "You don't sound too sure."

I laugh nervously, because yes, I'm nervous. I've had sixteen years of wondering about it, but when the moment is finally here, I have no idea if reality is going to measure up. "Kalle, you can't expect… Where is this all coming from?"

There's a moment as Kalle is staring at me and I think… wow. Maybe. Maybe this can happen, and I lean in just a bit.

"I'm not kissing you now." And Kalle sits up, stands up, moving away from me. Across the bed away from me.

"Ah… You're not?"

"No. Not now, with morning breath and you looking like you're ready to fall over with shock. No, I'm going to take you out and kiss you when the moment is right."

And then he smirks and walks out of my bedroom.

"The moment was right, Kalle," I call after him.