20. 20

20

Kalle

S he finishes her sandwich and now there's nothing to do but to go to bed.

I know I should talk to Edie about what my father said. She's the person I go to when I need to get something off my chest, but it doesn't seem right when she's part of what I need to get off my chest.

I can talk to her about Fenella because there's nothing there. Maybe there was never anything there but a mild attraction. Two good-looking people finding their way together.

I hope she'll be happy with her rock star.

As for me, I check on Dillon while Edie uses the washroom.

The power is still off and she insists we blow out the candles. She lends me a toothbrush, but I can still taste the peanut butter, and I forgot Edie likes the all-natural kind that doesn't have enough salt or flavour.

Plus, these pants are tight . I pull off the sweatshirt before I crawl under the covers, but that's not an option for the pants. Being naked in bed with Edie would be a first, and if that were to happen, her clothes would have to be gone too, and there wouldn't be much sleeping going on .

There needs to be sleep tonight because Edie, her head on the pillow, is looking at me with eyes that are heavy and purple-shadowed. We leave the curtains open to get whatever light there is and it's just enough for me to make out the planes of her face.

"Tired." It's not a question and I stroke her hair away from her face with a hand that doesn't feel like mine.

She nods. I know she has questions and I might have to give her answers, but not now. And she's patient enough to wait.

She's always been patient with me.

"Night, Edie." Even though I'm tempted to lean forward and kiss her forehead, I rest my hand there for a moment instead.

"Night, Kalle."

She falls asleep almost instantly. It takes me a little longer.

A lot longer.

When I wake up in the morning, Edie is still asleep on her side facing me, curled up around the cat who is spread long between us like a harbour chain, blocking any entry. I watch her, but not in a creepy, Twilight way.

Edie made me watch the series years ago so I know that Edward was super creepy.

She sleeps with her hair pulled up into a bun that started at the top of her head but slipped off-centre. The sight of it makes me smile. I'm tempted to curl a loose tendril around my finger.

Now, that might be creepy .

Over her shoulder, I notice her clock radio blinking. The power is back on, but I have no idea what time it is. I can hear the rain against the window, but the wind has died down.

I have no desire to get out of this bed. It's soft and comfortable, and while my feet may be hanging over the end, it smells of Edie, and I like how Edie smells.

I like a lot of things about Edie.

Like, really like about her and more keep popping up, like those seeds she started last year. One day there was only a thick expanse of dirt, and then the next, there were all these little green sprouts.

I never saw it happen, but one day they were just there.

I never saw the change from Edie-my-friend, to Edie-maybe-more.

"Maybe more" might not be enough.

She's dating my cousin, my arch-enemy. My nemesis. Is that what prompted this shift into the maybe more?

I roll onto my back and stare at the ceiling. There's a little water damage in the corner. If Mathias hadn't asked Edie to dance—if he had asked Kate, or even Fenella—would there still be this strange vibe between me and Edie?

I think so, yeah. If I'm being completely honest, I'd say Mathias gave it a kick in the pants, but he didn't cause it.

Edie causes it, because she's Edie. And I'm going to lose her if I don't do something.

I watch her sleep, listening to the steady intake of breath that borders on snoring, but not obnoxious snores. Sweet snores. I'm fascinated by the way she flexes her fingers. How her hair curls at her temples .

And then I notice the cat watching me watch Edie. "What?" I hiss.

Ernie closes his eyes.

As if she realizes I'm watching her, Edie's eyes flicker open. "You're here," she whispers in a sleep-thickened voice.

"Yeah. Power is back on."

She rolls over to check the clock radio beside her bed but comes back to face me. "Is it still storming?"

"Maybe. But not for long."

I wake up in her bed and we're talking about the weather.

"Mathias asked me to come visit him," she whispers.

I'd rather keep talking about the weather.

"He wants me to go with him when he leaves," she continues.

I close my eyes and fight the urge to roll away, to roll far away from this conversation. "Yeah?"

She strokes the cat and his purring is loud in the room. "Why don't you like him?"

This is getting heavy way too fast. "Doesn't matter."

"It does to me."

"It shouldn't."

"It does." Her brown eyes, suddenly wide awake, stare at me. A gust of wind rattles her windows.

"It's not him," I hedge. Talking about the past is like trying to dig a hole with my bare hands—time-consuming and it's going to leave my fingers scratched and bleeding.

I should have gotten right out of bed when I woke up.

But I stay beside her .

"It's your uncle," Edie guesses. She's always been able to see inside me, to know what I'm thinking, sometimes even before I know it myself. "What did he do?"

"It's what he said," I say, my voice tight. "What they said."

"About you?" It takes a moment to swallow, so I nod instead. "Tell me," she urges.

"That I shouldn't be king," I say in a dull monotone. "That I would never amount to anything. That someone like me had no right thinking I could rule because I would only end up ruining what Leif wanted." There's more. I remember everything that was said to me, word for word, but I remember what I overheard even more, because Dante and his sons wouldn't have to hold back about what they really thought of me.

Stupid. Incompetent. Selfish. Unable to rule.

I close my eyes so I don't have to look at Edie pitying me.

"Kalle…"

"It doesn't matter," I say gruffly, dropping an arm over my eyes.

She slips her fingers under my arm, stroking my cheek, and at the simple touch, everything inside me squeezes painfully. "It does. Of course it does." I shrug and her hand slips to my shoulder to give it a squeeze.

Her hands are so small, but strong.

"Do you want to be king?" she asks in a quiet voice. "Honestly."

"No. But I could do it with you."

She gives a quick intake of breath. I've caught her off guard. "That's not fair. "

I lift my arm and peek at her. "Maybe not, but you wanted me to be honest. It's the truth. You've been with me through everything, Edie, and I can't imagine—I can't honestly picture me being king without you being there beside me. When Dad told me to grab whoever I have my eye on, I thought of you. Because… you. You need to be there when I do this."

"I'm not your security blanket." But Edie sounds wistful, and her eyes are a little glassy.

I pull up her sheet so it's covering her shoulder. "You kind of are." And then I mean to tweak her nose but end up resting the back of my hand against her cheek. "I like it."

"Kalle…"

"I meant it when I said you should marry me. I know I messed up the delivery." I wait for her to agree but she only waits for me to continue. "I think we'd be a good team."

"But we haven't ever—"

"Gone on a date?"

"Kissed."

The air goes heavy in the room and the cat stretches, his paws kneading the blanket. "Why haven't we kissed yet?" I ask.

Edie's eyes flick to my mouth, exactly like I did to her a moment ago. For once, she seems to be at a loss for words.

"Ever wanted to find out what it's like?"