Chapter 14

Harley

“Harley, wait!”Tommy was calling my name, but I could move a lot faster than him.

I was furious, both at myself and at Allisha for letting this happen.

She knew who my ex-husband was, and she had to have known he was here.

I felt like a complete idiot, having opened up to her about everything yesterday in our session, and her not saying a word.

I didn’t know whether I was going to sue her or Harmony Place, but it felt like I had to do something because I was fucking furious.

“Harley, wait.”

That was Allisha’s voice, and I whirled, angrier than I’d been in a long time. “How could you humiliate me like that?” I demanded.

She didn’t appear at all embarrassed or even regretful about what she’d done.

“How did I humiliate you?” she asked. “Not a single person in that room knows who you are or anything about you. And as far as what you and I talked about yesterday, neither does Tommy.” She paused. “Did I tell you anything about him?”

I scowled. “No, but?—”

“So why would you think I’d tell him anything?”

“You owed it to me to tell me he was here.”

“I wasn’t sure you were his wife until our session yesterday, and then I made an executive decision based on nearly two decades of experience to allow the two of you to see each other in session and decide whether or not you wanted to be there together. There is nothing unethical or unprofessional about any of it. I had no idea who you were to each other until yesterday.”

“Could the two of you slow the fuck down?” Tommy finally caught up with us and he looked aggravated. “And what the fuck, Allisha?”

She sighed, as if we were wearing on her patience, and essentially repeated what she’d just told me.

“That wasn’t cool,” he said when she was finished. “You should have given us a head’s up.”

“Actually, I had very sound reasons for wanting the two of you to be in the same room together without prior warning. Group therapy is about dealing with grief by sharing, and in your cases, you’re grieving the same person. I think it could be cathartic for both of you.”

“I disagree,” I said, my face tight with frustration.

“All right. Then we can come up with a schedule for alternating attendance in the group sessions. Beyond that, there’s no reason for either of you to run into each other. And let me reiterate that nothing either of you tells me leaves the room. Do not insult my integrity or professionalism by insinuating anything else.” She glared at us, and I looked away first, unsure what to do next.

“I felt blindsided,” I admitted.

“I know.” She nodded. “That was done intentionally. I needed to see how the two of you would react to each other. And now I know.”

“What do you now know?” Tommy asked, his face a mask of nothingness, which was odd for him.

“What I already suspected.”

“Which is?” I asked, when she didn’t seem keen on expounding.

“That the two of you both have a lot of emotions, lingering anger, and a distinct lack of closure. Something you need to deal with. The way you behaved when you saw each other was quite telling. You were both upset, but while Harley ran, Tommy had the need to follow. That right there tells me a lot.”

“What does it tell you?” Tommy asked. “That I’m a pathetic sap who’s still chasing after my ex?”

Allisha smiled. “No. It tells me you’re still chasing answers. And Harley is running away from them.”

There was a long, somewhat uneasy silence as Tommy stared at the floor and I stared at Allisha.

Was I running?

Technically, I had been, but from what?

Initially, I hadn’t wanted Tommy to know about River, but that ship had sailed when Carter died and everyone found out when his will was revealed. So, what was I running from now?

“So… you think we should talk?” Tommy asked finally.

“I think you should go back to the group and start there. This isn’t about the two of you personally or as a couple. For you, this group is about the grief of losing Carter. If you can get through it, then maybe you can consider talking to each other one-on-one. With me there to make sure nothing goes sideways.”

That was a lot to take in.

“I don’t know if—” I began.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Tommy said at the same time.

We both stopped abruptly as Allisha held up a hand.

“It’s one session where the two of you just have to be polite and considerate of everyone’s feelings. That’s all. Afterward, we’ll reconvene in my office to discuss where to go from here. Deal?”

“I guess so.” I shrugged even though I still wasn’t sure.

“All right.” Tommy nodded, though there wasn’t any enthusiasm in it.

The three of us walked back to the room in silence but Allisha smiled when we joined the others.

“Sorry about that. Tommy and Harley had a little misunderstanding, but since they’re both grieving the same person, we’re going to try again.” She sat down in her seat. “Now, who wants to start today?” She looked at Harley. “We usually start each session with something we feel we’ve done right this week, whether it’s related to your grief or not. There are no right or wrong answers. Why don’t you start, Harley?”

I frowned but then nodded. “I guess the one thing I’ve done right this week is that I’ve come to Harmony Place looking for answers. Answers I apparently have been trying to run away from until now.” I glanced at Tommy, but he was staring at the floor.

“Thank you. What about you, Quinn?”

“I re-activated my personal social media accounts,” he said after a moment. “I shut them all down because I didn’t want reminders of my wife to keep popping up on different feeds, but it’s time. I miss seeing what my friends are doing, seeing their kids growing up, all their celebrations. Lily wouldn’t have wanted me to be so closed off.”

“That’s great.” Allisha smiled warmly. “How about you, Mina?”

Mina was an elderly woman, probably in her seventies, though she was well-put together and had a face full of makeup. “I haven’t done a damn thing,” the woman admitted. “Unless you count the fact that I called my son last night to yell at him for forgetting my birthday.” She lifted her chin. “I’m really fucking tired of my kids taking me for granted.”

“Good for you!” Allisha nodded. “And that’s not nothing. You’re standing up for yourself and not letting your fear of being alone encourage your son’s ongoing thoughtless behavior.”

“I guess.” Mina had a small smile on her face.

“Tommy?” Allisha turned to him, and he looked up slowly.

“I don’t know,” he said after a slight hesitation. “I guess my good thing this week is that I’m here. Even though talking about my feelings is really hard, I’ve been trying, which is more than I’ve done in the past.”

“Excellent.”

The people in the group were nice.

Harriett was in her early thirties and a fairly well-known television star who’d lost her husband to cancer. She hadn’t gone back to work since it happened just over a year ago and had spiraled into a deep depression.

Betty was another woman who looked to be in her sixties or early seventies. She’d lost her wife six months ago, after forty years together, and was struggling with her will to live. I didn’t know the whole story, but the things she talked about broke my heart a little.

Finally, the group was rounded out with a well-known state politician whose struggles with alcoholism were well-known. Her name was Freya Colson and I’d actually considered voting for her in the last election, but ultimately, she was too conservative for my taste and I’d gone another way. From what I understood, she hadn’t been driving the car during the accident that had killed her husband but was struggling with the guilt that she might have been able to do something to prevent it had she been sober and/or awake.

“We haven’t properly introduced Tommy and Harley,” Allisha said toward the end of the session. “So I’d like to start with Harley. Please tell us a little about your loss. You don’t have to go into any detail unless you want to, but everyone knows the basics considering Carter’s fame.”

“Well.” I felt a stab of discomfiture. The only person I ever talked to about my relationship with Carter was Wynter, but if Allisha was right, then I had to stop running. Even if I wasn’t ready to tell the whole story, I had to stop pretending I was some kind of villain. Because there was no villain in this story.

I took a deep breath and lifted my gaze to Tommy’s. He was watching me intently, though his face was expressionless again.

“Carter was my ex-husband’s friend and bandmate. I assume you all know that he killed himself? If nothing else than from the tabloids?”

Everyone in the room nodded other than Tommy.

“Carter was also my very good friend.” I smiled faintly, despite the ache in my chest as I spoke the words. “He was kind and sweet and soft-spoken. Even when he was high or drunk or completely out of his mind—he was never a mean drunk, so to speak. He had the best smile and when he looked at you, it was like no one else in the world existed. He was very special.” I paused, because the next part was so hard. “We were never in love and never had a romantic relationship, but we made a baby together.”

I watched Tommy’s brows knit together as I fumbled over the next few words.

“It was one night of what I can only call experimental sex.” I took a shaky breath. “A threesome with my ex-husband. And five weeks later I got the news that turned my entire world upside down.”