14. Tori

The last time I was in the DragonKingdom, I hated the place. The second time around, I couldn't believe how much I had missed it. As we passed through the gate to the ObsidianKeep, I couldn't help but feel exuberance. But it was tempered by our journey through the city. The outer wall was lined with soldiers, and spiked obstacles had been placed all over the surrounding fields. Kaleos had informed me that no attack had come to the city yet, but it was likely inevitable.

Thebulk of the DragonArmy held beyond the ReachMountains that separated the Dragon and GoldenKingdom. Hadeon's forces had recovered from the initial attack quickly, and they hadn't made progress to the capital.

Isat around the massive table in one of the council rooms. It had been carved from an ancient oak into a map of Adimos, and the officers placed various figures and flags all over it, denoting victories and losses, allies and, to a far greater extent, enemies.

"HaveQueensItzayana and Xareni sent their troops from the south?" Avlyn asked as they gestured frantically across the table.

"They have, but they aren't engaging as much as we need. I understand the hesitation, but the more they hold back, the worse it will be for them." The speaker was CommanderTulis, who I met at TenebraeForest.

"Can we send a cohort to him to help reinforce the troops?" Avlyn asked.

"Yes, but it will take weeks for them to arrive."

"Can we split the group already near Ashenforge?"

"In theory, yes, but our troops are already spread thin…"

Theycontinued to debate their strategy, and I did my best to fade into the tapestries on the wall. I wasn't exactly sure why I was here. I was well trained in fighting, and to some extent, battlefield tactics because of my training with the DragonArmy. ButI was no commander. I didn't know how to orchestrate an entire army. Avlyn had insisted I come.

Theywere clearly skilled at this, but who they really needed was Abraxas, and I was no substitute for him.

"…don't you agree, PrincessTori?" I snapped my head up. Avlyn had asked me something.

"I'm not sure it's my place to…"

Theygave me an angry look, then turned back around. The other leaders barely spared me a glance. They know you're a failure.

Aftera bit more debate, the others filed out, and I slowly raised out of my chair, ready to be done with this. Avlyn slammed the door closed and rounded on me.

"What the hell was that? For the first time in your entire life, you haven't had something to say, huh?"

Ipushed back from them, my defenses rising. "Avlyn, it's not my place to interfere. I don't know how to command an army."

"I wasn't asking you to plan, just to support me!" Their voice broke in exasperation.

Iwas confused. "You are the leader of this army. Why would you need my support?"

Theyshook their head, tracing their fingers over the bridge of their nose just the way Abraxas did, and my heart twinged. "Abraxas isn't here, Tori. I always had his support. I'm asking these men to fight a war when their king is gone. Last they heard, he turned into a dragon and flew away. You might see how that could shake someone's loyalty. I need you to be that powerful rallying point for us, for the kingdom."

Afew moments of silence passed between us until I could finally voice what I needed to say. "I'm not the queen."

Avlyndidn't hesitate like I did. "As far as I'm concerned, you are. Maybe not officially, but this is war, and what's official is less important than warts on a hobgoblin"s back. I need you to step up, Tori, for me and this kingdom."

Isn'tthat what I always wanted? To finally have respect, to enact change, to protect my people? I balled my fist, angry at myself for being scared now that the opportunity presented itself. A harsh whisper in my head echoed, you'll never be good enough; you'll never deserve this.

Asoft golden light tried to wrap itself around my heart to soothe me. But the waves of my mind churned with fear, and the light wasn't strong enough. I could feel myself being pulled under. You've failed. You failed Abraxas. You failed Avlyn. You failed Jun. You've failed everyone, and they can all see it.

Isprung up from my chair. "It can't be me, Avlyn. I'll get Abraxas back, I'll do… something… but not this."

"Tori…" Avlyn's voice was soft, but I spun away from them and bolted out of the room.

I trudged to the wing of the castle where my old room was. I had sent Jun and Pallas there earlier to get cleaned up, and some well-needed rest, but the servants had recommended they stay elsewhere. Apparently, the wing had been mostly abandoned since we left. I now saw why.

Greatwebs spread all over the hallways, making them impassable. One path down a deep tunnel in the web could have been traversed, but every survival instinct in me fought that. Instead, I plucked one thread of the web and called out softly, "Spinner?"

Theweb shifted rapidly as a harsh chittering sound emerged from the back of the hallway, hidden in darkness. ButI saw his eight great legs moving against the small pockets of light penetrating his fortress, and a few moments later, he was hanging from the roof in front of me.

Hewas much larger than the last time I saw him, as tall as the hounds used for hunting in the forest, and with his legs, much wider.

"My, how you've grown!" He popped his front legs up excitedly and waggled from side to side. A happy squeal escaped him as he hopped down to the floor in front of me, his landing perfectly silent.

Ireached out and pet his head, but he ran his front legs over my body, searching my pockets and sleeves. My heart twinged. "And here I thought you missed me. I'm sorry, boy, but I don't have it."

Helet out an annoyed hiss at that and crossed his front legs in such a human expression that I couldn't help but crack a smile. It vanished quickly.

"I lost it. It's…" The tears I held back started to fall. "…it's all my fault." Spinner spun around and nuzzled his head into my hand. I gave him a few scratches, but then he started spinning and clicking in a way that sounded very annoyed.

"Buddy, I don't know what you are trying to tell me." I didn't think it was possible for spiders to roll their eyes, but eight pupils rolled around before Spinner took off back into his nest.

Isighed and rose back up, wiping the tears away. ThenI heard Spinner returning. In his mandibles, he held something long and pointy.

Hedropped my sword in front of me. I pulled it from its scabbard and pressed the mechanism that released it into two separate swords. WhenAbraxas first gifted them to me, I could barely lift them with my left arm. Now, while a dull ache lingered—and likely always would—I spun the off-hand weapon easily. I'd grown stronger.

Spinnernodded his head at me vigorously.

"Clever spider."

OutsideJun and Pallas' room, I found Kaleos and Raula standing guard.

"I would think you have better things to do than stand guard over our two guests."

"So, the consorts of the fae, who we are currently fighting a war against, are our guests?" Kaleos asked. His face was contorted in a scowl, and I hated to see it.

Raula'sdeep voice chimed in, "Forgive him. His lover is in there, and he's nervous." She cracked a wicked grin, her long tusks making it almost menacing, as Kaleos blushed a deep shade of crimson.

"He's not my…" But he knew he wouldn't get anywhere with us, so he just huffed and crossed his arms.

Ipatted his thick arm as I walked past. "Don't forget, I was once a guest here as well, and I turned out alright, didn't I?"

Shameshot across his face, and he released his tense stance. "You're right, I'm…" he started, but I gave his arm a squeeze to tell him he didn't have to say more.

Ipushed open the doors to see Oryx fussing over Jun. For a moment I worried for my brother, but saw that Oryx wasn't touching him, just respectfully directing Jun to move and adjust his hair or clothes to the side as needed. I shouldn't have doubted. Oryx always knew what to do.

Besides, with Pallas standing watch over them like a hawk, I knew I had nothing to worry about. She had been given new clothes; they were simple and elegant, although I wouldn't say modest. But she wore them with ease, the soft blue of the outer dress highlighting her eyes and soft skin.

Seeingher dressed like that reminded me of someone I had blocked from my thoughts. Now, I couldn't help but think of Ciara's gentle hands as she helped me when I first arrived here.

PerhapsI should have felt rage at her memory, at her betrayal. AllI felt was sadness. My first friend. I lost her to Hadeon long before her death. He had sunk his claws into her, just like he had to Jun. Just as he had to Pallas. I wouldn't let that happen again.

"How is everything, Oryx?"

"BothJun and Pallas are in good health. Their bodies should recover quickly from their… ordeal." He was always tactful, but I understood his meaning. Their fae bodies had recovered quickly, but not all scars were visible.

"Thank you."

Henodded his head and exited the room. I looked at the pair. Jun sat on the edge of the bed, looking at his lap. Pallas stood with her arms crossed, staring at me, but I ignored her.

Jun'srobe was still pulled down from where Oryx had examined him. I moved to pull it back up, but he flinched away immediately. Stupid. I had to be more careful with him.

"Sorry," my brother mumbled, still not looking up. The exam had been hard on him. I knew the tactic of placing one's mind away from the situation to cope, but I'd never seen it with Jun.

"Don't apologize." I knelt down in front of him. "MayI take a look?" He didn't meet my gaze but nodded. I reached out with my magic. The shadows around his heart writhed as if they were content with his misery. They were spreading towards his throat and mind again. I called on the magic of the earth, but the shadows just twisted around it, snuffing out its light.

Somethingin me knew what to do. Jun and I were linked in a way that even Abraxas and I were not. The very depth of my soul was tied to his, and it called out to him.

Deepin my heart, there was a well of soft white light. It felt similar to the earth's magic, but it wasn't the same. The magic of the earth flowed like water, ancient and untethered. This light felt like life and merriment and running through a palace courtyard chasing a brother as we were both breathless with laughter. I pulled out one tiny spark of that light, guiding it into Jun. The reaching shadows burned away.

Ipanted, finding it hard to catch my breath, and my heart stuttered. Jun sat up a bit straighter and looked at me. "Thank you, Tori. I feel better. Your magic is amazing." He gave me a sleepy smile. It was all I wanted. I heard Pallas huff in the corner, but I ignored her again.

"Let's get you tucked into bed." I winked at him, and he rolled his eyes. But he let me gently reach forward and pull up his robe. My heart stopped again when I did; it had nothing to do with magic.

Etchedall over Jun's back was an erratic latticework of scars. They weren't bold, but a fae scarring was almost impossible. My arm and my back were the only scars I bore after years of battle. I had no doubt who had done this to Jun.

Ifelt every inch of my skin heat with dragonfire, but I pushed those thoughts away beneath the ocean of my mind as much as I could. It wouldn't do to draw Jun's attention to this now. I pulled up his robe and helped him move back into the bed. I tucked the covers around him in an exaggerated motion that had him huffing in what I would count as a laugh. I wanted to kiss his forehead but held back.

"Tori, a moment." I looked at Pallas, confused.

"Do you want to be tucked in, too?"

Atthat, she rolled her eyes at me. I decided whatever she was about to say wasn't worth it. I gave Jun one last smile and left.

Myfeet lead me everywhere in the palace but to his bedroom. Our bedroom. My eyes ached with weariness, but I could still feel his dragonfire as it tore through me, and his phantom claws pulled me to shreds. I knew sleep would not find me, no matter where I lay my head.

Fornot the first time in my life, it seemed sleep and I were enemies.