33. Mila

THIRTY-THREE

They don't know that we know they know we know.

~ Phoebe, in Friends

Kai texted me this morning. He said he was at work and heading to the resort for a special meeting. He said it was important that we talk asap. All he said was, We need to work through some things. More people know. Can you meet me after my meeting at the Alicante? I texted back, but I guess he was busy because he gave my text a thumbs up and we haven't talked since.

I called Jasmin for the second time in two days, and thankfully, she was free. I have a few women on this side of the island whose husbands are the sole breadwinners. During the busy season I call on them to sit at the reception desk and field any needs of my guests. And I have Jasmin, my part-timer.

The resort always takes my breath away with its tropical elegance: grand white stucco buildings with terracotta roofs, marble floors, impossibly high ceilings, ferns inside and out, palms, sparkling pools, and everything maintained down to the finest details. The decor is a combination of whites, creams, and ocean blues. It's such a contrast to the quaint feel of the inn with its wood interior and exterior, comfortable restored furnishings, creaky stairs, a blend of old and new, home and beach. My place feels like a well-kept piece of yesteryear—a welcoming home away from home where you can curl up and rest. The resort is pure affluence and glamour.

I walk through the double high entry doors. Kai is standing near the Guest Services desk in the center of the room. People fill the space, coming and going. But Kai's the one I see first, as if we're connected by an invisible strand. Passing the reception counter on my left, I approach the curved desk of Guest Services with a water feature flowing behind it.

"Hi," I walk right up to Kai, anticipating his embrace or a hand placed gently on my back, a kiss to my temple—all the ways he's been greeting me ever since we started this counterfeit veneer over our actual friendship.

I've gotten too used to it all, to him, to his touches and his care.

"Hey," Kai smiles and brings me in for a quick hug.

His usual sea-spray, tropical scent is covered by a cologne that makes me want to crawl up him and nestle in his arms and then kiss the ever-living bejeebers out of him. I obviously don't do that. I won't be crawling up anyone for the foreseeable future and even beyond, so I pull back to ensure there aren't any spontaneous man-scaling occurrences here in the lobby of the Alicante this morning.

"Hi," I say, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear like a love-struck teen.

"Let's step over here so we can talk." Kai points to one of several areas in the lobby where couches and chairs are set up around a coffee table.

We walk over in silence, Kai glancing at me nervously along the way.

"I … oh, there's Shaw," Kai says in a conspiratorial tone. "Look up at me adoringly."

Looking at Kai adoringly has become second nature for me these days. I follow his instructions and gaze at his citrine eyes, studying the darker flecks within the gold. I could get lost in his eyes, spend hours staring at them—at him. Kai seems to calm once our eyes lock. It's the benefit of us actually caring for one another. I hope we don't lose the ease of our friendship as a casualty of this farce.

"Sorry," Kai says.

And then he leans down and kisses me. The kiss is brief, but he cups my jaw when he pulls away and our eyes reconnect. I nearly cry. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's the stress of Brad meeting Noah. It could be residue from attending Bodhi and Kalaine's beautiful wedding. I tossed and turned wrestling with feelings of longing and loss until the early hours of the morning after I got home. The ceremony was beautiful—because of their love for one another. And for once in my life, I was jealous. Kai held me while we danced, squeezed my hand during emotionally significant moments throughout the night, and never let me out of his sight or away from his side. He was as perfect and attentive as always, and all I felt was the fact that this isn't real, and it can't become what I wish it would.

"So, this morning, Aima was at our house …" Kai glances over my shoulder, across the lobby mid-sentence. "Oh, shoot. Brad's here. And he's coming our way. I can't talk to you in front of him. Not about this."

"What? What do we do?"

"Follow me."

Kai grabs my hand and speed-walks across the lobby toward a little nook that leads to a single locked door. The space is only about as big as the shack on the beach—the one I wonder if I conjured up when I think back on that kiss we shared in the rain.

Once we're sequestered in our little cubby, Kai says, "Anyway, Aima was at the house to see Kala this morning before she and Bodhi took off."

"Mila?" Brad's voice carries from probably thirty feet away.

"Okay. Not here," Kai says, grabbing my hand and nearly dragging me like a ragdoll out of the small hallway toward the back patio.

We weave through a family coming in from a swim and a few other hotel guests, darting left and then right, connected by our hands like fugitives trying to cross a border without getting shot. Brad's calling my name from behind us, but we're ignoring him as we make our mad dash to the next possible private space we can find.

When we reach the patio area with all the pools and potted ferns and palms, Kai's head glances quickly left and right. Then he nods succinctly and we're off, rushing to a spot behind a trellis where a bougainvillea will cloak our visibility.

We're nearly out of breath when Kai turns to me. "Sorry, Mila. I need to get this out, and I won't get to tell you with Brad around."

I giggle despite the obvious seriousness of Kai's expression. Then I school my features and tell him, "It's okay. I think we're safe."

Kai peeks around the trellis, so I lean over and stick my head out under his. Brad is standing on the steps leading out to the area where multiple pools fill the sprawling patio. Each pool has its own deck chairs and potted plants, setting it apart from the others—the kiddie pool, adults only, lap pool, several shamrock shaped shallow pools, and an olympic pool in the very back. Brad's eyes are scanning the crowds of guests, obviously looking for me and Kai.

"Tell me, Kai." I whisper up at him while we both continue to peek around the flowering vine to watch for Brad.

"Okay … like I was saying, Aima was at the house …"

The moment Brad recognizes our heads peeking around the trellis, Kai and I both duck backward, bumping into one another and righting ourselves before we tumble and knock the entire vine and screen over. I feel like we're playing hide-and-seek. That same thrill of childhood rushes through me. I don't even know why we're hiding.

It's obvious Kai is in knots over something, and I want him to get the whole story out. Aima. Did something happen with Aima? Did Kai realize she's actually the one for him? It seems improbable, but it could happen. They ended up dancing together one dance last night. Maybe they talked after Kai brought me home. My urge to know the whole story escalates from zero to sixty as I imagine Kai telling me he's decided we need to call off our charade so he can pursue the woman his family has planned for him since childhood.

"Let's go!" I say to Kai, taking off before he has a chance to lead the way.

The pools are filled with people this time of mid-morning, and the mom-voice inside me says, No running around the pool. So I speed walk like one of the women who pumps her arms and wiggles her hips dramatically on the shoreline every morning. I've always wondered if those duck-like movements added momentum. I think they just might.

Kai is on my heels as we weave and bob through children wrapped in towels, women slinging beach bags over their shoulders, couples in reclining loungers and various plants in large terra cotta planters with Brad on our heels.

Brad shouts after me, "Mila! Mila, wait!"

I stop in my tracks. Why am I running? Brad and I can talk. Then Kai and I can go somewhere to finish our conversation. I'm sure talking to Brad first won't be an issue.

As soon as I stop, Brad reaches us. Only he's not listening to his inner mom voice and he steps on a slick spot next to a pool. Unfortunately a child goes zipping past Brad right at this moment with her parent on her heels yelling, "Sarah Ann, come back here!" Brad has to side-step but he's got no traction because he already hit the slick spot on the concrete. He loses his balance. His arms go up in a windmill formation, spinning wildly like a cartoon character. Before anyone can jump to his rescue, Brad falls into the pool with a huge splash, fully-dressed.

"Brad!" I shout, quickly walking back in the direction of the pool where people are now staring and gathering.

Kai is right behind me.

A child yells out, "Mommy, why did that man go swimming with his clothes on?"

Brad emerges from under the water, sopping wet and sputtering. He glances between Kai and me.

When he speaks, his tone is measured, but frustrated. Understandably. Brad's had to chase me down while I evade him with a man he believes to be his replacement, and now he's in a swimming pool, fully clothed.

"Mila, I need to talk to you. Alone," Brad says that last word emphatically.

Gone is the humble man begging entrance into his son's life. This is Brad. The one I knew in high school. The one I married. He's not brutal or mean, but he gets what he wants.

The crowd that had gathered at the sound of the splash starts to disperse now that Brad is obviously alright and we're all talking.

"I … uh. Kai needed to talk to me alone first."

"So you ran through the resort to avoid me?"

I look at Kai. He shrugs. It wasn't really the most premeditated moment of our lives—or of this charade. We've gotten so used to hiding facts and feelings we're not our usual selves. Instead, we're some fake dating version of Bonnie and Clyde. Minus the murders and kidnappings.

Kai extends his hand to Brad to help him out of the water. "Sorry. I need to talk to Mila. It's important. We overreacted."

Brad eyes Kai's outstretched hand and ignores it, hoisting himself out of the pool without assistance, water spilling from his clothing when he joins us poolside. Kai walks over to a stand where the resort keeps their signature beach towels. He grabs one and hands it to Brad, who reluctantly takes it and begins toweling off.

Brad pulls his phone out of his pocket and tests it.

"Waterproof case survived the submersion test," he jokes.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"Yeah. I am. But we still need to talk."

"You can talk in front of Kai.

"Not this time, Mila. I need you alone."

His voice is adamant, unwavering. And, considering we put him in a position where he just fell into the water fully dressed, I feel like capitulating. Brad would never hurt me. He just wants to talk.

I'm about to ask Kai to hold whatever he was about to say about Aima so I can step aside with my dripping-wet ex when Shaw walks up.

"Brad, I thought I saw you. Are you … alright?"

"Yeah. Yeah. I dodged a child and hit a wet spot. Slipped into the pool. What can I do for you, Shaw?"

"I have to go over a part of the contract we drew up. My boss wants the changes approved ASAP. I was about to call you when I thought I saw you walk by. Do you have a minute?"

"Um." Brad looks over at me, then briefly at Kai. Then he answers Shaw. "Yeah. Sure."

He turns to me and pointedly says, "I'll talk to you later."

"Okay."

I owe him that much after this fiasco.

Brad walks off with Shaw.

Kai lets out a long breath. "Sorry. I don't know what came over me."

"It was both of us."

I look around and point back to the secluded area behind the bougainvillea.

Kai follows me. He looks defeated and worn. His voice sounds tired when he says, "I think it's this whole farce. I'm preoccupied with what might change for me now that Bodhi and my sister are married. All of that threw me into a tailspin when I saw Brad."

I giggle lightly. "You think?"

Kai chuckles, "What were we doing back there?"

"Running from the law!" I start laughing.

"We'd be doing time by now if we really were criminals. We're not very good at this."

"I'm not sure it's a skillset I want to master."

"Yeah. No. Me either."

We find two chairs in this little secluded portion of the back patios and sit.

Kai takes a breath and picks up where he left off. "So, as I was trying to say, Aima was at the house. She and Kala were talking. Bodhi pulled me aside down the hallway, out of earshot. He was just saying some man-to-man things. Anyway." Kai pauses, obviously sorting through what he wants to say. "He mentioned us faking."

"Why?"

"Just in context of the conversation."

"Okay?"

"And that was the exact instant Aima decided to round the corner of the hallway to use the restroom."

"Oh, no."

"Yeah. I talked to her. She's fine. It was unfortunate and awkward, but she said she'd guard our secret like it's her own."

"That's sweet of her."

"Yeah. She's sweet." Kai smiles. "I just wanted you to hear it from me."

"She loves you, Kai." The words almost pierce as they come out of my mouth. "She never stopped watching you all night."

"I love her too. Like a sister. There's nothing there for me, Mila."

For a moment, I imagine him telling me, Nothing like the feelings I have for you.

But, he doesn't.