32. Kai

THIRTY-TWO

I think a part of me will always be waiting for you.

~ Unknown

Kalaine and Bodhi are married. They're actually married.

My best friend became my brother yesterday. And my sister is now his wife.

They're leaving for their honeymoon in Bali later this morning. Aima came over to hang out with Kala while we all ate breakfast. Now we're just biding time until they leave for the ferry.

Aima and Kalaine are on the couch talking while Bodhi and I finish washing the dishes. Aima's voice seems aimed into the kitchen instead of at a volume matching a conversation between just her and my sister.

"I'd relocate like you did, Kala. If I found the man who loves me like Bodhi loves you."

"It's been good for me here on Marbella," Kalaine says. "I miss Oahu, but at least we're there for contests and events regularly."

"A woman should be with her man though. Don't you think?" Aima says in a voice more appropriate for an unmiked performance in an amphitheater.

"I think a couple works out what works best for both of them," Kalaine says.

"What do you think, Kai?" Aima tilts her head and looks into the kitchen to make eye contact with me.

I turn my head to meet her eyes. "I think you never know when you'll fall for someone. You can have it all planned out, but when it happens, you're not in charge of the details anymore."

I'm obviously thinking of Mila.

"Oooh. I like that. You always have the best answers," Aima says, obviously misconstruing my meaning again.

"Not always," Kala says. "He says things that are off base all the time."

"Yeah. Totally not always," Bodhi echoes. "Kai isn't always the one with the best answers. Not even close."

He nudges me playfully. Usually, I'd fight them on ribbing me, but right now I hope they paint me out to be just a little better than a serial killer if it helps throw Aima off my scent.

Bodhi and I finish washing up and I hang the hand towel on the hook.

"Got a minute?" Bodhi asks me.

"Sure. What's up?"

He tilts his head toward the hallway leading to our bedrooms. I follow him.

When we're about halfway down the hall and out of earshot of Kalaine and Aima, Bodhi says, "Give me a minute to get sappy here. I didn't get to tell you this last night at the wedding."

I nod, giving him the go ahead he's asking for. "I know you weren't always in favor of me pursuing Mavs. But you came around. Your blessing on our marriage means the world to me. You mean the world to me. You've always been a brother in my heart. And now we're really brothers. I couldn't have picked a better guy."

"Hey," I joke. "If you wanted me as a brother, you could have just said so. I would have adopted you. You didn't have to go and date my sister to get to me."

Bodhi chuckles. "Seriously, though. You've always been here for me. For Mavs too. For Mila. Come to think of it, you're there for everyone. I want you to know if you ever need anyone there for you, I'm here. And, don't worry. We'll figure out living arrangements after we're back."

"Thanks. Honestly, our living arrangements are the last thing on my mind."

"Kai, listen to me." Bodhi places a hand on my shoulder. "You will win Mila's heart. This whole fake thing will be a fun story to tell at parties one day when you two are actually for real."

I look up to thank Bodhi, but my eyes catch on something else at the end of the hall. Aima is walking toward the bathroom. Her eyes go instantly wide.

"What did you just say?" she asks Bodhi.

Bodhi stills. He looks to me for some clue as to what to say. I've got nothing.

I stare at Aima with a plea in my eyes.

"You and Mila aren't actually dating?" she asks. "Are you serious right now?"

"Aima."

"Kai. Why? Why would you fake having a girlfriend?"

Aima's quiet for a minute and then a slow grin overtakes her face as if some realization is dawning on her.

"Were you trying to make me jealous?" Her smile widens.

Bodhi runs a hand down his jaw as this goes from bad to worse.

"Kai! You didn't need to go to those lengths. I came here ready to see if something could finally happen for us."

"Aima. Stop. Wait. Please." I look at Bodhi. "Could you …?"

"Yeah. I'll just …" He hooks a thumb over his shoulder and walks quickly toward the living room.

"Aima. You are like a sister to me. And you know what that means. I love my sister. I'm committed to protect and lead her above everything. I don't take ohana aloha lightly. And I have ohana love for you. But I don't … It's not … I'm in love with Mila. We were faking. But … well, I'm not."

Aima's face falls. I want to step forward and pull her into my arms to comfort her, but that would probably send her mixed messages. I'm clean here. I didn't do this damage. My parents and her parents did it by constantly setting us up and perpetuating the legend of our future. I never led Aima on. And I'm not leading her on now. The one foolish thing I did was fake a relationship with Mila.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you Mila and I were faking."

"But … why, Kai?"

"It's complicated. Her ex is back. You saw him last night when we were at dinner? Brad?"

"Yeah. The guy who bought out an entire cove here?"

"Yeah. Him."

"So you're trying to make him jealous?"

"No. I'm helping Mila keep him away from her. It's a long story. But that's it in a nutshell."

"Ohhh. Okay. I get it."

"I'm really sorry, Aima. We also thought faking would draw the line clearly for our parents. If they think I'm with Mila, they will stop trying to push us together."

"It's okay, Kai. I know you love me. I … I'm just embarrassed now. So … I'll just …" She points to the restroom.

"Yeah. Sure. I'm sorry. Don't be embarrassed. We'll get past this. It's a small blip in our lifelong friendship. You're still my ohana. If you'll have me."

"Of course I will. I've always wanted you, Kai."

"Thanks. And, could you keep this quiet? I know it's a lot to ask."

"Sure. I'll take care of your secret. It's the least I can do."

I'm not sure what she means by the least she can do. Maybe to make up for coming on so strong? Whatever her motive, I'm grateful we had that talk.

After Aima joins us in the living room, the four of us sit sharing memories we have from our childhood in Hawaii and visits Bodhi's made there since then.

When it's time for them to go, Bodhi loads a golf cart with their bags and surfboards.

"We're going to head over to the dock," he says. "Do you want to drive Aima to the resort and meet us there?"

I agree to drive Aima to Alicante. On our ride, she assures me that she'll guard my secret as if it is her own. She even says, I only want what's best for you, Kai.

After seeing Bodhi and my sister off on the ferry, I drive directly to the inn to talk to Mila. We had an amazing time at the wedding last night. I held her hand during the sand ceremony and gave it a squeeze. I don't know if she understood I was trying to tell her I wanted that to be us one day.

After what happened this morning, I have to let Mila know about Aima.

Then I'm going to figure out what I need to do to move things forward between us.

When I pull up, Noah is in the front yard of Mila's Place throwing a ball, then walking over to where the ball lands and throwing it across the yard in the other direction.

"Hey, boss man. What game is that?"

"Catch."

"Doesn't catch usually involve two people?"

"Yeah. But Mom had to take a guest to the resort because she got sick and they have a doctor there. Jasmin's inside in case anyone needs anything while Mom's gone, so I'm playing catch with myself."

"I see. Well, do you mind if I play catch with you for a little while?"

"Nope. It might even be better that way."

I chuckle.

We throw the ball back and forth using our bare hands until I remember there are gloves in the equipment shed. We pull two out and throw the ball back and forth, back and forth. Noah gets better at catching and throwing the longer we play.

"Unko?" he asks me.

"Yeah, boss man?"

"There's a Bring Your Dad Day at my school tomorrow."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. But I don't want Mom to worry about it."

"Okay."

"I'm okay without a dad that day."

"Are you? Because I bet your mom would come if you asked her."

"I don't want her to come. Every kid there will have a guy for a dad. Not a mom."

Man. I feel my jaw clench. I want to grab Brad by the collar some days. This is one of them. A kid like Noah should not have to worry about who's coming to dad day. Why do they even have dad day? Why not parent day? Or bring an adult you admire day?

"You could come," Noah says so simply.

"Yeah?"

"I want you to. But I don't want Mom to know. She'll just cry or something."

I chuckle. He's not wrong. And Mila has been stressed. What could it hurt? He wants me there. It's his day.

"Sure. I'll come. Do you know what time it is?"

"It's in my backpack." Noah drops his glove, runs up the stairs, inside the inn, and emerges waving a flyer.

I read the details. Then I text Ben telling him I'll be out of the office from ten to noon tomorrow.

"You've got it, boss man," I tell Noah. "I'll come to your class tomorrow."

"And don't worry," he says. "I'll explain that you're my Unko."

"Sounds like a plan."

My phone rings. Stevens.

I hold up a finger to Noah. "Hey, what's up?"

"Hey, I've got a tour going out. Ben's here alone so I don't have a first mate. Want to come out with me?"

"Jamison's not there?"

"He called in sick. Said he has a fever."

I guess something's going around.

"I'll be right over."

I hang up and tell Noah. "Hey, I've gotta run. I'll be at your class tomorrow. Okay?"

"Thanks, Unko."

Noah throws his arms around my waist and I hold him close. I'd do anything for this boy. Brad's an idiot for letting him go and missing out on this amazing human.

Stevens and I take the tour group out for two hours. We drag a net behind his boat and pull in some sea life. The passengers take turns looking at samples of the water to see microorganisms through a microscope Stevens has on board. Then he takes them on the deck where we allow them to touch and pass around the small marine animals we pulled in and are holding in temporary buckets full of sea water until we release them back into the ocean after the cruise.

Stevens has everyone wash their hands and then immerse them in a bucket of sea water so when we touch the animals we're covered in the elements of their environment.

After the tour, I stay onboard to help clean up from the tour.

We're cleaning petri dishes when I look over at my friend. He's more of a loner than most of us, quiet and thoughtful. He lives up in his head, but he's got a big heart. I've never seen him ruffled or agitated in all the years I've lived here.

"Something on your mind?" he asks me.

"What makes you say that?" I ask.

"Either that, or you're one more person who can't stop staring at me."

I chuckle. "Definitely not that." I release a long breath and then I spill everything. "I'm in a bind, man."

"What's up?"

"It's about Mila."

Without any hesitation, I explain how we're faking, how my feelings became evident to me, and what happened with Aima this morning.

I know I promised to keep everything between me and Mila secret. I also know Stevens. He's a bit reclusive and completely trustworthy. Plus, he's a great friend and a good problem solver. I'm pretty sure he has a genius IQ. I'm desperate for some input after that encounter with Aima. Not to mention the way Mila felt in my arms when we danced at the reception last night—it put a fire under me to push things along with her.

Stevens is quiet, a pensive look on his face as I unload everything about the past two months on him.

"It's kind of like the sea star, or starfish, as most people call them," Stevens says after hearing me pour out all the sordid details of Mila's and my relationship.

"Sea stars?"

"Yes. When startled, sea stars will bounce instead of crawling. It's like when we homo sapiens break into a sprint in our fight-flight response to stress. Sea stars have thousands of tiny hydraulic ‘feet' that can work together to synchronize their motion. They bounce away when they feel threatened."

"Fascinating," I deadpan. "And, all props to Bill Nye the Science Guy and all. But I need relationship advice here."

Maybe going to Stevens wasn't such a hot idea after all. He is single. And, that could be for obvious reasons, now that I think of it. Sea stars? Is that all he's got?

Stevens chuckles. "Bill's awesome. And, I am giving you relationship advice. Hang with me here."

"Okaaay."

Stevens continues, "If you want to touch a sea star, you have to wet your hands in salt water. Fully submerge your hands in the elements of their environment. You have to hold them gently and be very respectful. You can't keep holding them for long periods of time. You have to return them where you found them."

"Uh huh. Is this the relationship advice part?"

Stevens chuckles again like I'm missing the whole point. He's not wrong. I'm missing it. Completely.

"You've been doing all that with Mila," he says. "You're submerging yourself in her environment at the inn. You've been gentle and respectful. You give her space. She'll open to you, Kai. Just keep showing up like you have been until she can be touched without running. Because eventually, you will feel like a part of her world. And then she'll trust you. Like a sea star."

"I've been doing all that for four years now."

"But things shifted once you started faking. In science we call that altering a variable. And one alteration can lead to a totally different outcome."

He presents his conclusion as if he's pronouncing a diagnosis. And I feel as unsettled as a patient with a terminal illness.

Stevens only confirmed what I've known. I'll never get enough of Mila. She is oxygen and I'm only able to go so long without inhaling her presence. She's breath and life. At the mere thought of her, I'm light-headed. And I have no way forward if I rush her into something. The only answer is to wait for her to open up to the possibility of something more with me. Gently and respectfully, waiting.

"I'm screwed," I confess to Stevens.

"No. You aren't. You're just a man with a clear knowledge of where you stand. Now. What are you going to do about it? Because I think this feeling you have isn't one-sided. My guess is she's falling for you too."

"Guess? Can you guess in science?"

"We call it a hypothesis, as I'm sure you know. And making a hypothesis is usually something we do before we begin running experiments. But with this situation, I can't run any experiments. You've got to be the one to figure Mila out, not me. Science only takes you so far. There comes a point where you have to act on what science reveals. And there's always the element of mystery—something beyond the scope of our capacity to measure. Love may leave signs we can see, but it's not truly quantifiable. You are going to have to take a risk, Kai. That's always what it boils down to. Risk. And the biggest question is this: Is Mila worth the risk?"

I already know the answer. And, as unconventional as Stevens' thinking is, he made me realize one thing.

"I'll wait eleven years for Mila. I'd wait a lifetime if I had to."

"You're serious?"

"Dead serious. She's it. There's only one Mila. I'm not interested in anyone else. I'll wait."

"Wow." Stevens chuckles and shakes his head. "Then, I hope you get your sea star, Kai."