Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22

Trent

"Harder." Her whispered request stopped me in my tracks. She was trying to control things again. Wanting this to happen at her pace, on her terms. It wouldn't help her. It wouldn't help me.

Still, I gave her what she wanted, just once, just enough to create a false sense of security.

"You're not the one in control here, Maureen," I reminded her, then dropped my aim, bringing the paddle down hard across her sit spots and the tops of her thighs.

"You're the bottom tonight. You are the one who chose to put yourself in this position, and you do not get to attempt to take the reins back now. Your time for negotiations has long since passed." I punctuated every couple of words with the paddle across the tender strip of untouched skin, then paused only long enough for my words to sink in.

I watched her body language, her muscles tensing with my words, her inner battle for control evident in every miniscule movement. I saw the moment the acceptance came when her shoulders fell and her body went limp against the hold of the restraints. I heard the sucking in of air as she tried to hold back the tears I knew were threatening to fall.

And finally, after all that happened, after her internal struggle had been lost, I began to spank in earnest. I let the paddle fly across her backside again and again, watching for the skin to bounce back up only to flatten it back down with the paddle.

I was hitting hard, showing no mercy. That was what she needed. Her breaths were coming in gasps of pain.

I couldn't tell what she was thinking anymore, but maybe that was good. It meant the struggle for control was over.

Continuing my ministrations, I waited until the dam burst. Until her shoulders began to shake with the weight of sobs she could no longer hold in. Then and only then did I pause to check in with her.

Maureen

Sometime around the time I lost the ability to count swats, sometime around the time tears started falling freely down my face, sometime around then, I truly let go. When Trent took away my control, all my choices, the illusion that I had any sort of say in what was happening, that's when I'd been able to focus on the reason I was really there.

I was able to focus on Mira, her needs, and the way I'd failed her. I was able to focus on the fact that this was a punishment. I was able to feel cleansed. I was able to remind myself that everyone, even Doms made mistakes. By doing this, by putting myself in a position to accept correction for my mistakes, by humbling myself like this, by not being the Domme, by trusting someone else with control, I'd done two things.

I'd proven to myself that I was a worthy Dominant. That I had what it took to truly lead. I'd also proven to myself that I didn't have to. And that was the bigger deal. Because in doing that, I'd allowed myself to admit that I didn't even want to. That it was okay to let go of the control I'd spent so long clinging so tightly to.

The same tight hold had been the catalyst that had me climbing out the bathroom window on what could have been a very promising date. The same tight hold that had made me run as far as I could from my potential destiny, from a man that even back then I'd known was the man of my dreams.

And here, life had given me a second chance. I'd almost squandered it again. The more I wanted it, the more tempted I was to give it a chance, the more afraid I'd been. I would have fucked it up again. It was only a matter of time.

But this, tonight, this single scene, brought on by a series of events I hadn't been able to control…. This could change everything.