Chapter 11 - Astrid

Something was wrong.

My heart thudded as I paced the clearing where Dana and I were supposed to meet. Dana should have been here a little while ago. She was allergic to lateness, always had been. So the fact that she hadn't shown up yet sent a dozen different alarm bells screaming in my head. Had she been caught? Had the Silver Wolves gotten further than I'd expected? Or maybe they'd found out what I was really doing here?

The silence dragged on, everything seeming to last an eternity. As I waited, another train of thought, arguably more distressing than the other, wriggled into my head. Rand had said he thought Ansel was planning something big, something dangerous. I knew that he had been planning something, otherwise he wouldn't have sent me here. Except I had assumed it was just to throw the Silver Wolves off their scent and gather information. What if Rand was right and there was more to it?

I groaned and rubbed my head. I couldn't do this much longer. I was at the edge of my rope, and things had gotten too complicated. I liked Brixton. I liked the people there. I didn't want to keep lying to them.

And that didn't include the fact that I didn't hate Rand the same way I had earlier. Just the fact that he had been willing to sit down and talk with me when I'd asked him to showed he had changed. I'd expected him to say it wasn't my problem and use the "I want to keep you safe" excuse again. The same way he had when he walked out on us.

But he hadn't. He had changed. I could keep that cold fury up when I thought he was the same person who dumped me. This new one, I couldn't hate.

I groaned, closing my eyes as I came to a decision. I couldn't do it anymore. Even if Ansel had been telling the truth, I had done my job at this point. I'd tell Dana I was out, then call Thea and tell her to come join me here. I'd figure out what to tell Rand or where to go after that. One thing at a time. And the main thing at the moment was to end this once and for all.

Except that involved Dana actually coming to our meeting. It had been so long now that I actually thought she might have been caught, in which case my new plan was over before it had even begun.

I waited another fifteen minutes, growing more uneasy with every second. I couldn't stay out here much longer without being noticed. Just as I was about to turn and leave, mentally preparing some excuse to Rand if he had found out what was happening, that scent of lemon filtered over the earthen forest. As did the smell of burning oak.

Ansel.

I spun, eyes wide and mind racing as I tried to figure out what on earth he could be doing here. Something big must have happened. Something bad. That was the only explanation.

I watched as he stepped into the clearing, Dana on his heels. Except he didn't look angry or worried or frightened. Instead, he looked… smug.

I glanced from him to Dana, trying to read them both as suspicion and uncertainty began bubbling inside me.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"We're moving into the next phase of our plan," he said.

"Oh." My shoulders relaxed. "Okay. Does that mean I'm good to come back?"

A plan formed in my mind, one that I would never have considered a week ago, but one that seemed more and more appealing with every minute. I could go get Thea, and we could come back here. I'd figure out what to tell Rand and the other Silver Wolves and go from there. But the idea of moving and starting a new life here in Brixton with Thea grew more vivid in my mind, feeling more like the right choice every time I envisioned it.

But Ansel was shaking his head, that smug smirk growing wider as he regarded me. My stomach plummeted.

"Not exactly," he said. "But it won't be much longer. At the moment, though, we've got some work for you to do."

My jaw clenched. "I did my job," I argued. "I agreed to gather intel and then leave. If you've moved on to the next phase or whatever, that means my job is done."

"Not quite," Ansel said.

"You have no say in that anymore," I said. "I quit. I told you this was my last job, and I meant it. If you don't need me to gather information, which was all I was supposed to do, then I'm leaving."

"Don't you at least want to hear the terms?" he purred. "You have to be curious. And I have to admit, the job will be a lot harder if you say no. But I doubt that will be a problem, anyway."

My jaw tensed as that prickling unease grew to a crescendo. He wasn't going to let me leave without telling me whatever it was he wanted me to do. Best to get it over with.

"What?" I asked.

"I'm afraid I might have been… disingenuous about my motives when we last spoke," he said.

At first, I didn't know what he meant. Then it all came together. The things the Silver Wolves had told me, the things I had dismissed out of hand because I couldn't accept the alternative, all the information I'd found out from Rand, the questions Dana had asked. It all clicked, fitting into a pattern that only meant one thing.

"You didn't just want intel," I said flatly.

"Oh, I wanted intel, I promise," he said. "But I needed it more to strategize how to eliminate a problem rather than circumvent it."

My head spun, my mouth turning dry. Eliminate .

"You want to kill the Silver Wolves," I said.

"I have larger plans that they would get in the way of," he said. "So I figure it's best if they're out of the picture entirely."

"What are those larger plans?" I asked, though it didn't really matter. All that mattered at the moment was that I'd been tricked and the Silver Wolves were now in trouble because of me.

But when Ansel spoke again, I realized just how badly I screwed up, and it turned out those larger plans mattered quite a bit.

"I would assume it's obvious," he said. "The council and their ways have become archaic, outdated. I think it's time for some fresh blood, don't you?"

My mouth opened, my head spinning. He wanted to get rid of the council?

"There are dozens of other spec-ops groups that will stop you," I said. "And that's not including the military. Even if you got rid of the Silver Wolves, you won't get far."

He gave a wolfish grin that showed all his teeth. "You're acting as though we're going after the council next week. This is one of the early steps, you have to understand."

I could barely breathe. It was as though all the air had been pushed out of me. I had never expected anything like this. If I'd known, I would have run away years ago. Guilt and horror battled inside me as I processed the words.

"But all that's beside the point," he said with a wave of his hand. "You have a very important and vital role to play. All of the Silver Wolves are dangerous, but how much easier would it be if one of them was already taken care of by someone they trusted?"

My breath caught as the world seemed to stop around me. I gaped at Ansel.

"You want me to kill Rand?" I asked.

He nodded.

I shook my head. "No. Not happening."

He raised his eyebrows. He didn't look surprised or angry, just inquisitive. "I would have thought you would jump at that chance," he said.

"Things change," I retorted. "I'm not going to help you kill anyone. That wasn't part of the deal."

"Perhaps not," he said, still not seeming angry in the slightest. But the confidence in his tone and posture unsettled me. "But let's say it's part of a new deal."

A growl grew in my throat as I bristled, glowering at Ansel. "No. I did my job, now I'm out. I'm going home, and that'll be the end of it. That was what we agreed on."

"You want to go home?" he asked. The smirk playing on his lips made my insides squirm. I hesitated, the last of my confidence ebbing away as I glanced between him and Dana as they both stared at me.

"No shit," I said.

"You want to go back to your sister?"

"That's none of your business," I said.

He shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not. I will say I think you'll be rather disappointed if you go home now. I doubt you'd find her there."

I froze, heart lurching as something lodged in my throat. I didn't answer, staring at him, suddenly unable to speak. The world spun around me as the words sank in. It was impossible. That wouldn't… I would know.

When was the last time I'd spoken to her? It had been a couple of days. I wanted to call Ansel on his bluff and walk away. But I couldn't. Because I knew he wasn't lying.

Finally, my voice seemed to come back to me. "What did you do to her?" I asked, my voice hoarse.

"She's spending some time with us," he said, raising his eyebrows. "I thought you would appreciate it if we looked after her. You wouldn't want anything to happen to her, would you?"

I couldn't speak. The world seemed to crash down around me. Thea. He had Thea. He had my sister. The person I'd promised to look after my entire life. The person who depended on me and trusted me. I'd let her down.

I wanted to scream, to tear out his throat and rip his corpse to shreds. Except I couldn't move. My body didn't seem to want to listen to me.

"She'll claw you to ribbons," I bluffed when I finally managed to catch my voice. "I'm surprised you got to her at all."

He laughed, the sound carrying through the air, grating against my ears.

"I doubt it. She's such a sweetheart," he mused. "And even if she weren't, I don't think she could fend off a real shifter. I see now why you're so protective of her. I had no idea she was an absent." He tutted. "Poor thing. She can't really protect herself, can she?"

Rage rushed through me, my vision narrowing as I saw red.

"You son of a bitch." I stalked forward, fingers lengthening to claws as my wolf howled and fought to get out, to tear into the man who had just threatened my sister. "You absolute piece of shit. Hand Thea over now, and I won't rip your throat out."

Dana stepped between us, blocking my path to Ansel, her own expression inscrutable. If she felt any guilt about using a girl who couldn't shift as leverage, there was no evidence of it on her face. She held up one hand, pressing it into my sternum and pushing me back. I snarled, turning my rage on her.

"Where. Is. She?" I growled. Inside, my wolf howled with rage and fear, desperate to get back to Thea, wanting to kill the man in front of me for daring to threaten her.

"She's safe," Ansel said, still smirking. He didn't have to add "for now" for me to know that was what he meant.

"Don't do this." I couldn't hide the pleading, plaintive tone in my voice. "She has nothing to do with any of this. Just let her go. Please."

"I won't do anything to her as long as you cooperate," Ansel said. "I might even make her stay with us a bit more comfortable."

I clenched my teeth even as guilt washed over me. This was my fault. Every bit of it. I had asked them to take care of her. I had been stupid enough to trust them after everything they'd put me through. She was in trouble because of me.

"If you do anything to her, I swear I'll tear you to shreds," I said.

"No, you won't," he said smugly. "I know how much you care about her. And believe me when I say that if Dana and I don't both get back to the meeting house in a timely manner tonight, Thea won't be around for much longer."

The world spun around me as my stomach churned and threatened to regurgitate my dinner.

"What do you want?" I asked, my voice hoarse as I glared at both of them.

"You know exactly what I want," Ansel replied. "I told you. The plan's changed. We're going to make our move on the Silver Wolves Sunday night. Your job is to take care of Rand. Kill him quickly so he can't come help the others, and then join us to take out the rest. You've given us plenty of information for us to go off of, so we know what we need to do."

Horror and dread raced through me, mixing with guilt. This was my fault. I only had myself to blame for all of this.

I shook my head. "Anything but that. Just let Thea go. Please. I'll do anything but kill someone."

His eyes narrowed. "Let me put it this way," Ansel said, holding up his hand and cutting me off. "Because I don't think you understand the severity of the situation here. Either you help us take out the Silver Wolves, or your sister dies. The choice is yours. Just know the consequences of what will happen if you don't uphold your end of the job." He looked up at the moon, giving a lazy smirk that made my stomach churn. "We should probably get back," he said to Dana. "I don't want anything bad to happen to our guest over a misunderstanding, would you?"

He smirked one last time, then turned his back on me and walked into the forest. Dana followed after him, not saying a single word as she left me alone.

Rand or Thea.

That was all that registered in my mind. Rand or Thea.

There was no contest. I had promised to protect Thea at all costs. She was my sister. It should have been easy. Except the thought of losing Rand, of losing the guy I had hated for years now, twisted my stomach more than I had thought possible.

I couldn't kill Rand. I knew that. But I couldn't let my sister die, either.

I stood for a long moment, knowing the decision I had to make, and knowing I couldn't make it.

When my legs finally began to move again and I made my way back to Brixton, I still didn't know what the hell I was going to do.