Chapter 30

30

S teel

The way she is looking at me makes my heart beat faster. I do trust again; I trust her.

I half expected her to hear my story and to run a mile. If I’m honest, it’s part of the reason I haven’t told her yet, even though it’s been on the tip of my tongue several times.

Turns out Jen doesn’t hate me. She’s trying to make me feel better, and it’s working. I haven’t forgiven myself. I don’t think I ever will, but right now, I feel just that little bit lighter.

I like the way she’s looking at me. It’s with kindness, compassion. I see longing, too, and something else that has my chest tightening.

I cup her jaw and kiss her. It wasn’t planned but I can’t help myself. Her hair is still damp. She gasps against my mouth and then sinks into me; her hands reach up to grip the back of my neck. Jen moans.

I stand, taking her with me. Then I hook an arm around her waist, lifting her against me. She hooks her legs around me, rubbing up against me.

I’m in fucking heaven right now.

Her scent wraps around me, mingled with soap and shampoo.

She breaks our kiss and yanks her T-shirt over her head. Her chest hits mine. Her breasts are soft. Her nipples are hard. I can feel her heart beating a million miles a minute against my chest, and it makes me feel alive. Her hands are gripping my back, her fingers digging into my skin.

“I want you,” she says against my mouth.

I love how she doesn’t hold back. How she tells me what she needs. I walk her over to the counter in the kitchenette, putting her down on the edge. I cup her breasts in my hands and gently roll her nipples. She gasps and writhes and kisses me like she can’t get enough, which is great because I feel the same way.

When I break the kiss to reach into the cupboard to the right of her, she kisses my neck, nipping on my earlobe. I groan low as she kisses me, nipping at my skin. The scrape of her teeth has my balls pulling tight.

I fumble inside, finding the box, which I put on the counter. Then I lean in and suckle on her nipple, rolling my tongue around it.

She makes the most amazing noises. Then she’s undoing my jeans and freeing my cock. She pulls down her sweats, lifting her hips. I pull away so that she can kick them off. I do the same with my jeans. Finally, we’re naked.

I pick her up, sure to grab the box. Taking quick, long strides, I walk to the bedroom. I’m desperate to be inside this female. I toss her gently onto the bed and then stand there, looking at her.

“You’re beautiful.”

Her eyes are hooded. Her mouth is lush. Her hair is spread out in a fan around her. Her chest heaves. Her legs are already open for me; her pussy is wet, and I haven’t even touched her yet. Not really.

Mine.

My dragon chimes in, but I ignore the bastard. I’m going to somehow get Jen home where she belongs, and then I’m going to take care of her financial worries until she doesn’t need me anymore. Make no mistake, I know that day will come sooner rather than later. Just like I know she’ll insist on paying me back every red cent. For now, someone needs to take care of this woman, since she’s always so busy taking care of everyone else. And I’m going to be the one to do it, whether she likes it or not.

Her eyes track my length; they narrow on my hand and on what I’m holding. She sits up, leaning on her elbows. “Is that a box of condoms?”

I nod. “Roscoe saw how out of my head with worry I was over you when we got here after the attempted abduction, and he figured something was going on between us. He added condoms to the list of items we would need from the store, and right now, I could kiss him on the lips.”

“Me, too.” Jen grins.

“Don’t you dare.” I kneel on the bed, still drinking her in, committing the vision of her naked body to memory.

“Jealous?” Her smile widens.

“Fuck yes. I don’t share.”

“Neither do I.”

“Good.” I lick my lips. “Where to start.” I let my eyes roam her perfect body. I clasp her knee, wanting to touch her everywhere.

“Start with the main event. I want you inside me…now.”

“Demanding.”

“You’d better believe it. It looks like there are a lot of condoms in that box.” She bobs her eyebrows. “We don’t have much time.” Her eyes cloud over for a moment.

I swallow hard. She’s right. I hate it, but it’s true. We can’t stay holed up indefinitely. I need to do something to fix this situation, but it can wait just a little while longer. A couple of hours won’t hurt anything.

Right now, it’s all about us…about this.

“Your wish is my command.” I open the box and take out a silver foil. I bite open the end and take out the condom, carefully sheathing my cock in one slide of the hand.

I cover her with my body; her legs go around my waist like they belong there. I find her clit between her folds and rub on it ever so gently. She’s drenched, but I want her primed for me.

Jen cries out, arching her back, rocking into my touch.

“Steel,” she whispers, her voice throaty with desire. “Feels good.”

I kiss her, still rubbing on her tight nub, which seems to swell beneath my finger. I let my finger slip and slide over her flesh until she’s panting and arching. Using two fingers, I thrust inside her welcoming flesh. Jen gasps, groaning my name.

She’s so fucking wet.

I finger-fuck her for a few seconds and then coat my cock with her juices. After rubbing on her clit a few more times, just to be sure, I position myself over her, pulling her legs up my body.

She’s already gasping for air. Her blue eyes are on mine. They’re hazy with desire. I’m sure I look just as lost in the moment as she does. I sure feel it.

I bite back a vicious snarl as my tip breaches Jen’s tight pussy. Tight is an understatement. It’s like being squeezed in a velvet sheath. Hot and wet and so fucking good. I groan deeply as I work my way into her…slowly…slowly. Our eyes stay locked on one another.

Her mouth parts as she drags in ragged breaths. “Steel,” she whispers my name. “Yes…you feel good.” Her eyes are wide and on mine. It feels intimate. It feels like a lot. Like everything. Her hands grip my shoulders, her nails biting into me. Using slow, gentle thrusts, I go deeper and deeper still, taking my time while she stretches to accommodate me. Jen whimpers.

It feels so fucking good that my head is spinning. There’s something about her that makes me feel lighter and brighter. I can smile again. I can feel something other than shame and rage and guilt. Instead, she makes me feel free…happy. I want to lose myself in her and not just for one day.

I thrust into her slowly. I want this to last. She whimpers and bites on her plump lower lip.

“So beautiful,” I manage to push out. My words are barely intelligible. “So perfect.” It takes a few sweet minutes before I bottom out. I snarl as my balls hit.

We both groan as I move in and out of her a few times more, going all the way in and all the way out. I go slowly. Carefully. I can hardly move inside her tightness. Hardly breathe. Once my dick is good and coated in her juices, I grab her and flip us over.

“I want to watch you,” I tell her, gripping her hips.

Jen nods once, then she reaches down and kisses me. It’s soft but hot as hell. Her nipples abrade my chest. I grip her jaw and angle my mouth to get more of her.

Jen takes my face in her hands and kisses me like I’m the air she breathes. Like I’m the sun, the moon, and all of the stars. When she pulls back, her eyes are hazy with need. Her hands are on my chest. My cock is still buried deep inside her.

I lean in and suck on one of her nipples, cupping her breasts in both my hands. They’re full and soft. So fucking beautiful. Jen groans, her head falling back just a little. Her dark hair is about her shoulders. The strands are still damp.

I hold on to her hips and lift her up and then ease her back down on my cock. I groan, and Jen whimpers. Her face gets a pinched look. Her eyes are glazed. Her breathing is ragged.

“Good?”

“Soooo good.” Her eyes drift shut. “I already want more. I want this again.”

I do, too.

I want tomorrow and the next day. I want all the days and all the nights. I want us, but I think that might be my dragon talking because it holds no logic.

I ease her up and down my cock, gently thrusting into her from below. Holy fucking shit, but I’m dying. I want to come so badly. My balls are tight. They feel like they’ve lodged themselves into my throat.

Up and down.

Nice and easy.

This has to last.

Her eyes are wide, and she’s panting hard. I look down to where we are joined. Her pussy is stretched wide to accommodate me. Her slit is pink and glistening. So pretty.

Mine.

I’m not going to last too much longer, and from the noises Jen is making, neither is she.

I smile at her, and she gives me a tight smile back. “Ready to come, sweetheart?”

“Yes.” She moves faster on the end of my cock. “Oooohhhh…yeeees.” Her breasts bounce as she starts to pick up the pace, making strangled, desperate noises that mimic mine.

I need her to come before I embarrass myself by doing it first, so I put the tip of my thumb on her clit, and her eyes roll back. Her pussy flutters and then spasms around me. My balls tighten; everything is wound up tight. I can barely move or breathe.

Then I am coming. It happens in a rush. My teeth sharpen.

Bite.

Take.

Mine.

I grit my teeth at the pleasure that courses through me, the sheer force of which shocks me to my core. I roar her name into the apartment as I empty myself inside her.

Want.

Claim.

I keep moving, keep feeling. I don’t give in to my dragon. I can’t!

Once I am sure to have wrung every ounce of pleasure from Jen, I ease off as she slumps against me, still on top of me, her forehead damp. Her whole body is heaving.

We’re both struggling to catch our breath. I pull out as she moves to lie next to me.

“I’ll be back. Don’t go anywhere,” I tell her.

“I won’t.” She sounds groggy.

“You’d better not. I know your penchant for running away after sex.”

“It happened once.”

“Once too many, if you ask me.”

She giggles softly, sounding a little out of it. Sounding sated.

I grin as I jog to the bathroom. I make quick work of the condom and then get back to Jen as soon as I can.

I pull her into my arms, holding her tight. She snuggles against me. I run my hand up and down her back. This feels good. It feels right.

We lie together for a while in silence. It’s comfortable and companionable. If someone had told me even a month ago that I’d feel this way ever again, I’d have laughed in their face, but here I am.

It feels good. All of it. I know I can’t allow myself to open up too much, to get too wrapped up in this female. It’ll be over soon enough, one way or another. There won’t be much chance for us to get in too deep.

Jen stirs. “I want to tell you about my mom now,” she says in a small voice as she lifts her head.

“If you’re ready, I’m all ears.” And I mean it. What happened to Jen, to her family… I know it’s bad. It’s affected her whole life.

She swallows thickly and nods once. Her eyes are a little glazed over, and she’s staring at the wall. Then she looks up at me, her eyes soft and vulnerable, and I feel a rush of emotion that I can’t quite put into words.

“My mom hasn’t had an easy life. Her parents, my grandparents, died before I was born. They died in a car accident. My mom was just eighteen and an only child. Two years later, she met my dad and had me soon after. As you already know, he left when I was still tiny.”

I nod.

“It was just her and me for a long time. She didn’t date. She put all of her focus and energy on me. She worked really hard to keep a roof over our heads.”

“Sounds like someone else I know. Selfless and dedicated.”

Jen gives me this half smile. “We look alike, my mom and me. At least, we used to look alike. I told you that my mom was my spitting image when she was younger. Anyway, she was a great mom…really great. I was around fourteen when she met Trevor. They fell in love and got married. Trevor was such an awesome man. He took care of us. We got along. Everything was so perfect. We were thrilled when we found out that my mom was pregnant.” She beams for a moment, but it soon fades. “Despite her being older, everything was textbook. Caleb’s birth was easy. Well, as easy as a birth can go.” She shrugs. “Trevor was on cloud nine. Caleb was Trevor’s first kid. Only my stepdad called Caleb his second-born because he considered me to be his daughter.” She gives a sad smile.

“He sounds like he was a good guy.”

“The best. They say that the good die young; well, that was the case with Trevor.” She wipes away a tear and then drags in a breath, like it’s too hard to continue with the conversation. “Soon after my mom came home from the hospital, things started to fall apart. Little things, at first, like she didn’t change his diaper right away or left him crying a little too long. Little things became bigger. Not changing him, not feeding him, not wanting to get out of bed, not wanting to eat. She said she was tired.”

I push a wisp of hair behind her ear but stay silent while she works through what she wants to say.

“My mom was diagnosed with postpartum depression. We were told it’s normal, that it happens to roughly three in ten women. She was given meds to take. My stepdad and I took turns staying with her and looking after Caleb. We hired help when we could afford it. We were told that she would get better. We were told to hang in there. Postpartum depression can last for days or weeks, sometimes even months. In severe cases, it can last longer.” Her lip wobbles, but she gets herself back under control. “She didn’t get better; she spiraled, Steel. By the time Caleb turned one, she had been diagnosed with full-blown depression. I had quit college to stay home to look after them. We couldn’t afford full-time care. Trevor had to work. We had already started racking up medical bills. My mom needed therapy and meds. None of it seemed to work.”

“That sounds like a lot. How was Caleb through all this?”

“It was a lot. Caleb was good. He had Trevor and me. I had Trevor. He was a rock. He was amazing.”

“I’m sure you were amazing, too.”

“I tried so hard. There were times I wanted to run away. It felt like anything we did wasn’t enough. My mother was a shell. She only bathed when I bathed her. She only ate when I fed her. She was a zombie. Nothing worked. She looked at the television but didn’t watch. Had no interest in Caleb, or anything, for that matter. It all felt useless. Then, a miracle happened; her therapist started her on a new drug, and she seemed to get better. She started showing interest in things, in Caleb. But she also started eating and put on weight. Before long, she was putting on excessive weight. They changed out her meds again, but it didn’t help. She ate all the time. Food had become her crutch.”

“I’m sorry. That must have been hard.”

“Overeating is actually a common symptom of depression. It’s probably the most common. Then there’s also alcohol and drug abuse. People will do anything to self-medicate. To make themselves feel better, especially when the drugs don’t work like they should. It was food for Mom. At least she was back and more herself. That’s what we told ourselves. But she was also steadily gaining weight. So, we tried only keeping healthy food in the house and sticking to healthy meal plans, but she would hide food and binge eat. I know it sounds a little crazy. A little unreal.”

“Not at all. Your poor mom.” I run my hand down Jen’s back.

“We reached a point where she lost some of the weight. Where she was still stable mentally. We were finally on the right path. It was all coming together.” Another tear tracks down her cheek. I want to wipe it away. I don’t want to see her upset and crying. I want to take all of her pain, but sometimes it’s good to let it out, so I leave her to figure it out.

A few more tears fall, and she makes this little sobbing noise. “That was when Trevor died. It was so unexpected.” She swallows thickly.

“Holy shit! I mean, I know he died, you told me, but just as your mom was getting better. That’s really awful.”

“It was a terrible time. Mom spiraled again. All she did was eat. Caleb missed his dad. He started waking up at night and wetting the bed. Thankfully, Trevor left us a small sum of money, or I don’t know what we would have done during that time. There was no way I could work. My mother was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes soon after that. She was told to make lifestyle changes. She was told that she was morbidly obese. We were given this brochure about regular exercise and how to control temptation.” She snorts. “Like it’s that damned simple.” She rolls her eyes.

“Because she was still battling depression,” I say.

“Yep, and big time. She ended up losing her right leg below the knee.”

“Holy shit! Jen, that’s terrible. I’m so fucking sorry.”

I’m reeling.

“Yes, it can happen. She developed an ulcer on her foot as a side effect of the diabetes and didn’t tell me about it. I don’t know why she didn’t say anything. She told me she didn’t want to be a burden. By the time I found out about her ulcer, it was already too late. Her foot was badly infected. The surgery cleaned us out. I had to get a job. We did our best to take care of Caleb. She was overweight but stable. Her depression was relatively under control. There were still some bad days, but we had plenty of good ones. The bills were piling up. My mom’s diabetes meds are ridiculously expensive. I found a second job as an Uber driver.”

“You worked two jobs?” I sound gruff because I’m pissed. Jen is only twenty-four. How does someone this young go through all of that?

No wonder she’s concerned about having kids one day. Petrified to have them. And is always so careful about her weight and maintaining a healthy diet. No fucking wonder.

“I had to get a second job. It wasn’t enough, but we mostly got by. I didn’t see my family as much as I wanted to, but Caleb was thriving. My mom was almost my mom again. Things felt like they were on track when the letter arrived telling me that I had been selected as a Tribute.”

“Blow after fucking blow.” I sit up, running my hand through my hair. “Then you were abducted from Draig, and just when you were about to be sent home, too.”

She nods, clutching the sheet to her breasts. “Yes. I landed up on Mistveil.”

“Being used as a political pawn by the asshole general. I treated you so badly as well.” I shake my head, scrubbing a hand over my face. “I’m so fucking sorry, Jen.”

“It isn’t your fault. You didn’t know. You were fed a bunch of lies.”

“He told me you were a con artist just like Lake. That all you cared about was money and prestige. That you planned on escaping so that you could out dragon shifters to the humans on the Mainland for a big payday and fame.”

Her mouth drops open. “That bastard!”

“I’m going to kill him.”

“No, forget about the general. He isn’t important.”

I suck in a deep breath. “You’re right. I need to get you home, where you belong. No wonder you’re out of your head with worry. Your mother could suffer another lapse or have side effects from the diabetes. Anything could go wrong.”

She nods.

“I’m going to talk to Arctic. I’m going to fix this.”