34. Tanner

THIRTY-FOUR

TANNER

I'm doing my best not to let my nerves and anticipation show as I lead Grace into the playroom. Now that we've discussed our limits, I'm ready to show her how it should've been for us all along, and what I've spent our time apart learning.

It's going to be so tempting to fuck her while we do this, but I know we aren't ready for that yet. There's so much left unsaid between us. I know I'm capable of doing this type of play without it ending in sex, because that's all I've done since I started learning, but this is Grace. The love of my fucking life. The only woman I'll ever want to be inside until the day I die.

But this isn't about me. She wants me to dominate her, and that's what I'm going to do. If and when she gives herself to me fully, it'll be because all the broken things between us have finally healed.

I stop, stepping in front of her. There are only a few inches between our bodies and when I inhale her scent, my head spins. Being this close to her, knowing I have her consent to do just about whatever I want to her, is so intoxicating that I start to feel lightheaded .

Grabbing the fabric of my shirt behind my neck with one hand, I remove it before reaching out and grasping the hem of hers. I savor the moment, slowly peeling it over her head, my gaze locking onto her full tits that spill from the top of her white lace bra. I squeeze my eyes shut, repeating to myself that I can do this, before reaching around to unclasp where it's fastened behind her back. Our lips are millimeters apart, and when our eyes connect, she sucks in a quiet gasp. I want nothing more than to kiss her so roughly, she'll taste me forever, but I can't. I need to control myself tonight.

When I undo the clasp, letting her bra fall to the ground at her feet, she arches her back just slightly in an attempt to get me to touch her. And fuck, I want to. I want to suck them. Lick them. Slap them so they turn the beautiful shade of pink I know she's capable of.

But I don't. Instead, I kneel in front of her, curling my fingers under the waistband of her leggings and panties, pulling them both down her legs at the same time. When she lifts her feet to step out of them, the scent of her arousal smacks me in the face so hard, I immediately feel my cock start to weep in my briefs. I have never wanted anything so badly in my entire life. I want to taste her, feel her, and fuck her in the filthiest ways.

Keep control, Tanner. You can do this.

I return to my feet, leading her over to the spanking bench because it'll be more comfortable for her. I plan on keeping her in here as long as I can, and if I cuff her to the cross, I know her arms and legs will get tired quickly. "Lie down here," I order quietly. "On your stomach. One knee on each side."

She obeys, placing one knee on each platform and resting her front half on the bench. I have it angled slightly upward so she can lift her head to see me, because I'll be damned if she doesn't look me in my eyes as I own her .

My cock twitches in my pants as I move behind her, fastening the cuffs at her ankles. Both of her holes are visible to me and I'm in physical pain at this point from how badly I want to feel her from the inside. I haven't fucked a woman in five years, and up until now, I could always quell the urge by thinking about Grace. But that won't work in this situation, so I'm going to have to pull from the depths of my self-restraint to get through tonight.

I walk around the front of the bench, cuffing her wrists. I secure the final set of restraints around the backs of her thighs, so she's completely immobile—mine to do with whatever I please. She turns her head to look over at me, lust completely clouding her expression.

Fuck. Me.

I need a minute to regroup, so I walk over to the wall and take down a paddle, as well as a riding crop with a feather tickler on the other end. I want to make her head spin with so many different sensations, she'll be begging me to let her come.

By the time I return to the bench, Grace's entire body is trembling. Her hands are balled into fists and her forehead is pressed tightly to the cushion in front of her. I'm not sure if she's nervous or excited, but I know we need to communicate here in order to make this work.

"Can you look at me, beautiful?" I say, placing my finger under her chin and gently lifting her head. She looks up at me and I swear I can see into her fucking soul. I don't even need her words, but I ask for them anyway. "Are you okay to keep going?"

"Yes, please," she says on a shaky breath.

"What's your safe word?" I ask. "Pick anything you want."

"Banana," she replies.

"Good girl," I praise, rounding the bench and taking my spot behind her. "If it gets to be too much, or you're uncomfortable in any way, use that word and I'll stop immediately. Understood?"

"Yes, sir."

Fuuuuuuck .

Hearing that phrase from her lips after so long almost does me the fuck in right there. I'm ready to drop to my knees. Eat her. Fuck her. Worship her until every broken piece of us has been put back together. But she asked me to do this, and I'm determined to give her anything she wants.

I start slow, dragging the feather across her creamy skin, watching as she shivers at the contact. Goosebumps raise along her flesh in its wake, and I allow myself one small thing, leaning forward and pressing my lips to her shoulder. It's quick, but it makes me dizzy in the best way. I never thought I'd get the opportunity to do it again, and even just this small gesture heals me a little.

"Do you want mean words or nice words?" I ask. I know she said she was okay with both praise and degradation, but now that she's in the moment, I want to make sure.

"Yes," she says, shaking her head rapidly as if she is having trouble thinking. "I mean, I want both."

"You want to be my beautiful, filthy little slut tonight, Bunny?" I ask. She nods her head and I can see that her breathing is already accelerating. I stand straight, taking in the sight of her. I can already tell she's wet, as a small bead of arousal peeks out from between her pussy lips. "Aww," I mock. "I haven't even touched you yet and your greedy little cunt is already crying for me."

Her hips thrust forward just barely, as if she's desperate to feel something, and it makes me want to drop everything and give her relief. She fucking deserves it after everything she's been through, but I want this to be the most erotic thing she's ever experienced, so I need to remember what I've learned and take my time tonight.

I flip the feather tickler between my fingers so the crop is now facing the floor. I drag it across her ass before rearing it back and slapping it quickly against her plump skin. She yelps in response, but relaxes once the initial sting subsides.

"Are you okay?" I ask after the first strike.

"Yes, sir," she answers, prompting me to give her another on the opposite cheek. I'm not putting a lot of force behind it because she's never done this before. I just want her to get a feel for the toys.

"You're doing so good," I praise. "Do you want the paddle?"

"Please," she says, her voice shaking.

I look down, running my hands gently over the red marks from the crop. They're barely raised, and I've left myself plenty of space to swat other places so they're distributed evenly around her backside. I'm feeling surprisingly in control, probably because I'm so aware of what went wrong the last time we did this, and how I've put so much time into learning to do it correctly.

Picking up the paddle, I gently press it against her ass so she knows what's coming next. She pushes back against it and I move it away. "You're not in charge here, Grace. Press into me one more time and I'm putting you in a forced orgasm belt and leaving you here overnight."

"S-sorry," she says, and I watch as that bead of arousal finally frees itself from her body and slides down toward her clit. My eyes lock onto the little pink bud that's so swollen, I can see it sticking out of the delicate hood that covers it. What I'd give to flatten my tongue against it, licking up the drop of her sweetness before it goes to waste.

"It's okay, beautiful. You're still learning," I reassure her before landing the paddle firmly against the lower part of her ass. She lets out a gorgeous little scream in response. It's everything I imagined and more when I've stroked my cock to this very image. I'm so goddamn hard right now, every muscle in my body hurts, but there's not a single thing that could make me stop as long as Grace wants me to keep going.

I use the paddle two more times before I finally can't take it anymore and need to get my hands on her just a little bit more. If she ends up hating this and I never get to touch her again, I want to keep this moment locked away in my brain for the nights I long to feel her this way.

I use my hands to gently soothe the red marks on her ass, savoring every gasp and moan that escapes her lips as I do. I'm careful to stay away from her pussy, because I know if I feel it against my fingers, I'll take what I'm so desperate for. I've felt the need to own this woman so many times, but it's never been as strong as it is right now. I know I'm still treading a fine line with her and I'm afraid if I overstep, I'll lose her completely.

"Look at that," I say, in awe of the way she looks with my marks on her. "Do you want more?"

"Yes, sir. More. Please, " she begs. And what my girl wants, she gets.

I smooth my hand over her ass cheek once before landing a hard slap against it. She gasps, dropping her head forward onto the bench. I move to the other cheek, rearing back and swatting her again. I give her two more, alternating sides, watching as her body shakes below me.

As I go to deliver another strike, she sucks in a quick breath.

"Banana!"

Fuck.