35. GraceTanner

THIRTY-FIVE

GRACE

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Tanner says quietly as he undoes the restraints, freeing me from the bench. I'm shaking and my ass is on fire from what we just did, but the pain isn't what caused me to use my safe word.

"Come here, baby," Tanner says, carefully scooping me up and quickly carrying me to the bed. He lays me down, wrapping a soft, cashmere blanket tightly around my trembling body. He slides in beside me and holds me to his chest as I gasp for air. "You're safe. Do you want me to keep holding you or do you want me to let go?"

"Hold me," I whisper, finally setting the tears that are pricking at the backs of my eyes free. Once the first one falls, it's like a dam breaks, and I can't make it stop. Sobs rack my body as he squeezes me firmly in his arms, not letting go for what feels like forever.

"Shhh, shhh," he soothes. "I'm here. You're safe. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Grace." He kisses my hair, gently rocking me as I begin to calm down, my muscles finally loosening so I can lean into him.

"Do you feel safe?" he asks, almost whispering against the top of my head. I nod in response, sniffling as more tears slowly roll down my cheeks. He twists his body, still holding me in one arm as he grabs something from the table beside him. "I need you to drink some for me," he says, handing me a bottle of water. I take it, swallowing as much as I can stomach before giving it back. It must be enough because he reaches back over, setting it down, and I hear the crinkle of a plastic package.

"Let's get a little sugar in you, okay?" he says, grabbing my hand and pouring a few Sour Patch Kids into my open palm. I look up at him, shocked that he keeps my favorite candy in here, but he's already turned away to set the bag back on the table. I place one on my tongue as he returns both arms to me. He lets me finish them before he speaks again. "Can you tell me what caused you to use your safe word? Was I too rough?"

I take a deep breath, releasing it on a shaky exhale. I feel like such a mess right now, but I need to be honest with him. He needs to know that I didn't stop him because I didn't like what he was doing. "You weren't too rough. I just…" I pause. "The last time you spanked me," I choke out, "you left."

He squeezes me tighter, bringing his hand to my hair and gripping it gently to hold me against him. I can feel his heart hammering in his chest as I feel more pieces of us slowly slide toward one another before snapping back into place.

He eventually loosens his hold. "Grace, look at me." I do, and when I see the emotion in his expression, it sucks the air right from my lungs. His eyes glisten as they fill with tears, and I blink, letting more of my own spill over because I'm exhausted from being strong for so long. I want us to be raw together. To feel this so we can make our way through it side by side.

He swallows thickly, reaching out with one hand and wiping the tears from my cheeks. "I've regretted that moment every single day since I drove away from you. I've spent years wondering if we'd ever get another chance. Years beating myself up for all the ways I hurt you. At the time, I was so scared that you'd give up everything and end up resenting me for not being enough to keep you safe and happy, and I panicked. I thought you'd be better off without me in your life so you could make your own dreams come true. I should've told you the truth back then. I loved you with every piece of me. I still do, and I'll never, ever leave you again. I've always been yours, Grace. Even when I wasn't there."

"But why didn't you come back?" I ask. "If you loved me and missed me, why did you stay away for so long?" I've both wanted and feared the answer to that question, but right now, I need it if I'm going to move on. I have to know what kept him from coming back and making things right.

He gives me a weak smile. "Because I was selfish. After I got drafted and realized that I'd never feel whole without you, I wanted to find you and beg for forgiveness. But when I ran through all of the what-ifs, I got scared. What if you were happy with someone else? What if me returning fucked up everything you'd built while I was gone and made you hate me even more? What if you didn't love me anymore?" he chokes out as tears spill down his face. "It was hard enough walking away after you confessed how you felt, but if I had to leave again knowing that your heart was truly no longer mine? I wouldn't have survived it, Grace. I would've died."

I don't wait another second. I can't. I'm fucking done being without this man. I smash my lips to his in a desperate, bruising kiss. Fireworks explode around us, and we both breathe a sigh of relief as we finally taste each other again after so long. It's like coming home after being lost at sea, unsure if you'd ever find your way back again. He groans, gripping my hair tightly in his fist as I open my mouth, letting him plunge his tongue inside.

"I love you. I love you so much," he says into my mouth. "Please forgive me, baby. I never stopped loving you and I never will. I'll spend every second of my life proving that I'm worthy of you. Whatever it takes. I'll do it. Please. "

"I forgive you," I reply on a shaky whisper, feeling the last of the weight that I've carried on my shoulders all these years fall away. Hearing him say that he loves me for the first time is something I never thought I'd experience, and the sound is like an electric current that jolts my heart back to life in my chest. He exhales in relief as he pulls my hair, tilting my head and deepening our connection.

There's nothing exploratory about the way we're moving against one another. It's like we know each other inside and out as we kiss like two wild animals. Without separating, he grabs my hips, yanking my naked body up so I'm straddling him. A needy whimper slips from my lips as I rock on his erection, angling myself so we're both able to feel the hot friction being created. Something hits my clit just perfectly as I slide forward, that even through his pants and boxers, I feel my orgasm bloom to life deep inside me.

"Wha—" I moan loudly, "what is that?" I can't stop myself from continuing to grind along his length. It feels so good.

He smiles against my lips. "That's a present for you, Bunny."

I pull back, brows furrowing tightly in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I can't tell you and ruin the surprise. You have to unwrap it first," he says, and I see a hint of the playful Tanner that I love so much. "Take my cock out, baby."

I hesitate for a moment, but obey, curling my fingers into the waistband of his sweats and slowly dragging them down to his thighs. I can see his hard cock straining against his boxer briefs, and my eyes catch on the ridges bumping down it under the material. I look up at him, shock written all over my face as he raises a brow, daring me to continue. I do, pulling his underwear down until his huge dick springs free.

I gasp. Not because it's definitely gotten bigger since the last time I saw it. Not because of the way it's as hard as steel, slapping up against his stomach as soon as it's been freed from its restraints. All those things, I could've expected. But what I didn't see coming were the five metal bars running up his shaft.

"You're pierced," I whisper.

"I am," he replies, smirking. "They're all yours, baby. Never been used."

I look up, eyes wide as saucers. "You were serious about that? You haven't been with anyone? "

He shakes his head. "Not since you."

When he said it the other night, and then again when we were talking in the kitchen, I wasn't sure if I believed him. I know he has no reason to lie about it, but Tanner is a gorgeous guy with an amazing personality, and he spends some of his free time at a sex club. Or, he did . I'm sure women throw themselves at him all the time. So, the fact that he's waited all this time for me? It's unreal.

I look straight at him. "I want you now, Tan. I don't want to fight it anymore."

He exhales in relief. "Thank fuck."

TANNER

Holy fucking shit.

Hoooooolyyyy fucking shit.

I'm about to fuck Grace.

I feel like I'm about to lose my virginity all over again as I turn us over so her back is on the mattress and I'm hovering over her. I lean down, kissing her deeply again, trying to make up for all the time we spent apart, and erasing the memory of any lips that were on hers since mine. She opens her legs and I finish pulling my pants and briefs down my legs, kicking them to the floor beside the bed. When I settle between her thighs, rubbing my Jacob's Ladder piercing against her slick skin, I almost fucking lose it and blow all over her, but the look on her face as each barbell passes over her clit is enough to have me gritting my teeth so I can watch her come undone over and over.

"Tanner, oh my God," she says, panting while her eyes roll back.

"You like them, baby? I can feel how hard and swollen you are for me right now."

"Yes," she moans. "But I need to feel them inside me."

I want nothing more than to sink inside her, but I want to make sure she's ready. "I don't want to move faster than you're ready for, Grace. I'll wait forever if you need me to. Are you completely sure you want to do this with me?"

She nods her head slowly. "My life has been incomplete, Tan. I tried so hard to move on, but I didn't like who I was without you. I love you and I want all of you."

I breathe a sigh of relief, dropping my forehead to hers. I finally got to hear the words I've been dreaming of for what seems like a lifetime. And fuck, it feels better than any victory I could ever experience on the football field.

I kiss her again before sitting back on my heels and pulling her with me. I bunch several pillows behind her head, lifting her bottom half and placing another one under her butt which angles her hips upward.

"Look down, baby. Watch your pretty little cunt swallow every rung," I say, waiting for her undivided attention on where we're joined before lining up and thrusting forward just enough for the first barbell to be pushed past her entrance. My eyes roll back at the feeling of her wrapped around my head, and she clenches when she sees it .

"Don't fucking do that," I grit out. "Unless you want this to be over before I'm all the way in."

"Do what?" she says with a devious smile as she tightens again, making me grunt.

I take a second to get my shit together before reaching up to pinch her nipple roughly. Her eyes slam shut, and she hisses a breath through her teeth as I do. "Don't forget I know all the right ways to punish you now, Bunny. So, unless you want that ass and pussy on fire tomorrow, you better be a good girl and listen to what I say."

"Yes, sir," she says on a breathy moan, and I finally put us both out of our misery, sliding in further. I grab her hair, tilting her head to look back down at where we're joined.

"Watch," I command. Her eyes widen as I thrust the rest of the way in, pressing my pelvis tightly to her body. I see stars as she clenches, this time involuntarily, trying to get used to the new feeling. All the years I've spent celibate, waiting to have her back, are catching up with me as I try not to come inside her before I even get a chance to move. I've obviously fucked my hand a lot since then, but it's nothing compared to Grace's tight pussy strangling me.

"Jesus Christ," I force out. "You're so goddamn tight. You were fucking made for me, baby. Made to take this big cock." I pull out, making sure I'm not going to nut too quickly before thrusting back in. We both moan in unison as pleasure flows through us like we share one body.

When I feel like I can go faster and harder, I do, pounding into her relentlessly as she writhes below me. It may not seem like we're making love with how rough it is, but we are. In every sense of the word. This is us.

"Feels so good," she whines. "Please, sir. Make me come."

"You want to soak me, baby? See if I can make it rain all over these sheets?" I ask. She nods her head rapidly in response. I lean back even further, pulling her hips up off the pillow as I fuck up into her. I use my thumb to rub her clit from side to side, just like she likes, as the head of my cock bumps her g-spot with every thrust.

She's a sloppy, moaning mess as her inner muscles start to flutter around me. I can feel a pressure deep inside her that tells me I have my girl right where I want her. "Atta girl," I praise. "Push it out for me. Let it go." A couple more thrusts and she comes so hard, it forces my cock right out. She soaks the pillow, screaming in ecstasy as her body shakes uncontrollably. I land a couple slaps to her sensitive clit to prolong her orgasm, making her clamp her legs tightly around my hips.

Before she's even had time to recover, I push back inside, earning the sweetest little whimper from her overstimulated body.

"Use your safe word if you need to," I say on an exhale as I pick up my pace, feeling her cunt grip me with how fucking swollen she is right now. She doesn't say anything as I use her, only able to moan and cry out in a mix between pain and pleasure.

"You're my little pain slut, aren't you?" I grit out, fire licking up my spine. I feel like my soul is leaving my body as I slam into her, chasing my sweet release. "Your poor, used little pussy hurts so bad, but I can feel that you're ready to come again."

I lean forward, pressing some of my weight onto her as I fuck her into another goddamn dimension. We're grunting, panting, moaning as we kiss so dirty, my lips feel like they could bruise from the force.

"I'm gonna come," I say into her mouth. "I need another one from you."

She doesn't have to be told twice. Her pussy seizes around me, making my vision go black as I empty everything I have to give into her. I work us through our orgasms, only stopping when we're both completely spent and exhausted.

We lie there, me on top of her, gasping for breath as we calm down. I'm so tired, I could fall asleep right here inside her, but I don't want to even blink. Now that I have her back, I don't want to waste a single second not looking at her beautiful face.

"I love you," I say, kissing her cheek. "I love you," I murmur, kissing the tip of her nose. "I love you," I whisper, kissing her other cheek as she giggles underneath me.

"I love you, too," she replies, and fuck if my whole world hasn't started spinning again.