29. Jase

Ishould have just stayed at the stadium, but I needed to get away from there to clear my head after seeing Lucas. He fucking shattered me a few days ago and he thinks that barging into a conversation is gonna make up for what he did?

I don't give a fuck that he lumped himself in with me for that loss variable shit. He's not with me, and he never will be. He made it crystal clear the morning after we fucked.

Balling up a t-shirt, I let out a loud groan. I should've known it was a bad idea to go to him that night. And thinking I could go over there for the sole purpose of sex was stupid. Like, beyond stupid.

I've had a thing for Lucas for months, and it took me all that time to take my first real step into what could be my reality. And it was goddamn incredible, better than any fantasy my sick and twisted mind could've ever conjured up.

Then he cut me down, accused me of shit that still boggles my mind. He wanted to fix me so fucking badly, save me from living a life of lies, and when I finally open up to him, he fucking tears my heart out, stomps on it, and then shoves it back into the open hole.

"What a fucking asshole," I mutter, stomping around the room and grabbing whatever socks and shorts are scattered on the floor. My phone rings from somewhere in the depths of the pile of blankets on the bed. I was so fired up when I got here, I hurled it at the headboard and it landed somewhere on the mattress.

It's probably my dad calling with the same observation Gabe had.

Except when Gabe said it, I knew I deserved it after being such an asshat to him. But my dad saying it… I tug at my hair as I pace the length of the room.

It'd be another dig at my ability to compete, and since he's still pissed off about me being thrown together with Lucas in the media, he'll take any opportunity to slice into me.

For a long time, I was afraid of my dad finding out who I really am because I didn't want it to damage the relationship we have. I didn't want to be the one to cause more of a split in the family, especially since I don't know how Bryce felt about Kyle and if he even knew.

How fucking ironic that my dad's caustic comments about me and my ability to play at a professional level have eroded our relationship from a goddamn mountain to a speed bump in the road.

So yeah, fuck off, Dad.

I grab a sneaker and throw it at my open suitcase. Then I bend down to pick up the other one but instead of tossing it into the bag, I let out a roar and send it flying at the hotel room door.

"Goddamn him," I yell.

A swift knock makes me jerk backward.

Fuck me. What timing.

Squaring my shoulders, I stalk toward the door and pull it open without looking in the peephole because I know it sure as hell isn't my father here to battle me in person.

But I'm just as shocked when I see Lucas standing in the doorway, still in his suit looking like a sexy-as-fuck GQ model. I huff and roll my eyes as I swing the door closed.

Lucas stops it, slamming his palm against the door before pushing it open again. "Please let me in."

"I did let you in, dick," I seethe. "Remember?"

"I know, and I'm sorry." He lets out a sigh, dropping his eyes to the ground before raising them up to mine again. God, I could stare into them forever. There's always so much warmth and happiness and hope sparking in the depths.

Everything I was missing and everything I'd wanted to cling to like a lifeline once I recognized it.

Until he sliced through it with a machete and let me float away into a sea of loneliness and pent-up rage.

"I made a mistake, Jase. And it was because I was afraid."

My spine stiffens. "Afraid of what?"

"Afraid of my feelings for you." He shakes his head. "But now… fuck, it's too late. Too much has happened and I can't… I did too much, too much I can't fix. But I had to tell you I'm sorry. This isn't… none of this is?—"

"You're babbling, and I don't understand what the hell you're trying to say." I try to keep a hard edge to my voice but my heart clenches at the tear in his. This shouldn't be so hard. He hurt me. Crushed me. Rejected me in the worst possible way. How the fuck can I even stand here and listen right now?

Lucas turns his head left and right before looking me square in the eye. "Look, I just came here to apologize and say goodbye. I messed up and now I need to deal with the consequences."

"You're talking in code. What consequences?" I don't know if this is the way really smart guys talk but it's making my fucking brain hurt. And my heart already aches when I stare at him and remember the things he said, so I'm doubly fucked right now.

Lucas's eyes are filled with remorse. "I wish I hadn't done it, but I did. And I can't take it back, but I want you to know… I'm in love with you. I have been since the night I first kissed you outside of that bar. I fucked up, and I'm sorry. I'm so?—"

Wait, what?

He's in love? With me?

Through that jumble of words, I heard it. And my heart damn near stopped because fuck… I think I might feel the same way.

Lucas pushes back his hair, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat, just like it always does when he's uncomfortable. I've seen it plenty of times over the past few weeks.

Just one more example of the way he's managed to brand himself into my mind and soul.

I don't let him finish this thought. I've heard enough.

With a thundering pulse, I reach out and grab him by the shirt with my good hand. I pull him against me and kick the door shut, practically lip to lip with him.

"What are you doing?" Lucas whispers. "I just told you?—"

"You told me exactly what I needed to hear."

He's in love with me.

I hold him against me with my cast arm against his back, then press my lips against his. The taste of mint explodes on my tongue as it dips into his hot and hungry mouth.

He didn't reject me.

He was scared, too.

Even though I'm not exactly sure if what I feel is love, him rejecting me was the worst pain I'd ever experienced at the hand of another person. And I've been fucking beaten to shit on the football field. Even taking a bat to the arm was a tickle compared to what he did to my heart.

So love? Yeah, maybe.

But the only thing I know for sure right now is that I'm happier than I've been since the last time I had him in my arms.

Because he came back to me. He accepts me.

I never thought I'd ever have that.

I dig my fingertips into his spine, plunging my tongue farther into his mouth, deepening our kiss. My pulse throbs, cock swelling against my pants.

"Jase," he gasps. "I told you. I can't?—"

"You really want to leave?" I mutter against his mouth. I reach down to grasp his cock, kneading it hard and eliciting a moan from his lips.

His eyes widen, tiny sparks glittering in a sea of green. "Fuck, no."

"Then stay. I don't care what happened before you came here. It's in the past."

"You say that now, but?—"

I stroke his length. His head falls back, eyes floating closed. "I. Don't. Care."

Lucas sucks in a sharp breath.

"I just need to be inside of you," I whisper. "Nothing else matters."

He swallows hard, his eyes opening, locked on mine. "I want that, too."

Our frenzied hands fumble with each other's clothes, my cast making things a little challenging.

So many conflicting emotions crash over me. Whatever he thinks he did doesn't matter to me. He didn't ruin anything between us. He just panicked. He knew how freaked out I was and he needed to protect himself. Hell, I get that. This is exactly the thing I've been denying and running from my whole life and here I am, welcoming it with open arms.

I'm definitely not ready to shout it out to the whole world, but Lucas belongs in my arms and I'm gonna do everything I can to keep him there.

I manage to get his pants and boxer briefs to his ankles while he wriggles out of his jacket and shirt. Since he's got two working hands, he already has me naked. And hard as fuck.

His fingertips skim the front of my chest before he dips his head and traces the lines of black ink covering my pecs. His tongue teases my nipples, his other hand dropping to my dick. A rush of air expels from my mouth when he wraps his fingers around me, stroking me slowly, maddeningly.

My balls ache with need. I grab the back of his head and pull him close, crushing my lips against his. He kicks off his pants and grinds his hips against mine, the friction of our cocks rubbing together enough to make me come.

I let out a moan when his hand wraps around our cocks, jerking us both. Precum leaks from my tip, my body shuddering from the sensations coursing through me.

Backing him against a wall, I thrust into his hand, my insides sizzling with each pump of his fingers. I reach under him, grabbing one muscular ass cheek and grasping it hard before sliding my fingers into his tight hole.

His heart practically tears a hole in his chest, it hammers so hard against mine. I lose myself in our kiss. I've never been so desperate for a connection like this, knowing that he wants me, that he really sees me, and that he loves me.

Our teeth crack as we devour each other, lips nipping and tugging, tongues wild flames of need and coiling heat. Every shared breath, every touch, every word whispered… it makes me feel like I can float above all the crap plaguing my reality. In this bubble, there's no hate, no threat of rejection, no disgust or disappointment.

There's only us.

So fuck the rest of the world.

He's all I want.

Lucas's hand moves faster as I press my fingers inside of him. His ass clenches around them, clamping down as I thrust into his heat. It's so hard not to lose my shit right now with his ass fucking my hand and his hand jerking my dick. I add a third finger, stretching him. A hiss of breath slips through his lips.

"So fucking good," he mutters, grabbing my bottom lip and dragging it through his teeth.

I hook my fingers and thrust them deeper until he thrashes in my arms. His hand loosens on my cock as I hit his prostate. He gasps and shudders. "I need you to fuck me now, Jase."

My brain short-circuits, all functioning cells rushing straight to my dick.

Lube. I need lube and a…

Fuck.

"I don't have a condom," I rasp. "Only lube."

"I don't care. I know I'm clean. And if you've been cleared by medical, you should be too."

I nod, my throat tight. "I am."

His eyes darken, flooded with need. "Then do it. I can't wait. Just fuck me."

I flip him around and grab the bottle from the table next to us. I slick up my fingers and massage his asshole while I wrap my cast arm around his front. He backs up into me, his perfect ass puckered and ready for what I have to give him. I slide my hand up and down my cock, giving the tip a quick tease before positioning myself at the tight ring of muscle.

I slowly push into him. He tenses, a groan shattering the silence. He squeezes my cock, drawing me farther into his heat. When I'm balls deep, he clenches, thrusting against my hips to take me deeper. I move slowly in and out of him, clutching him tight against me. I reach around for his dick, stroking him. I tease his slit, rubbing my thumb over the tip, my fingers slick with precum.

He yells suddenly, his hips bucking harder against me when I thrust deeper. "Fuck, yes," he chokes out. "Harder!"

My cock pumps faster, my balls slapping against his ass with each full thrust into him. I grit my teeth, a delicious clenching sensation assaulting my groin. Sparks fire in my balls, flames shooting through my insides. Every nerve ending erupts into flames as the orgasm tears through me.

I come so hard, the otherworldly sensations paralyze my body and mind. I can't catch a breath, can't see straight. My legs are limp like overcooked spaghetti, buckling as I collapse against him.

Last time was incredible but this?

Fuck, if this isn't love, I don't know what is.

I don't know how long we stand there, me plastered against him like I can't move on my own. I graze his shoulder with my lips, planting tiny kisses over to the back of his neck.

He chuckles breathlessly. "You're so fucking good at this. I don't understand how."

"Must be instinctual." I give his ear a nip.

When I finally pull out, he turns with a grave look on his face. It grabs hold of my heart and squeezes tight. I grab a t-shirt and hand it to him so he can clean himself up.

He turns it over in his hands, his eyes dropping to the floor.

"There's something I have to tell you."

My brows furrow, my heart instantly in a free fall with nothing cushioning the plunge. "What's wrong?"

My phone rings and I back away from Lucas.

From the expression on his face, I figure taking the call will buy me some time before I have to find out whatever the fuck has taken over this bliss.

What the hell could possibly be wrong after what just happened between us?

He said he loved me, and I…

I think I love him, too.

So why does he look like he's about to confess to a murder?

I rummage through my bag and finally find my phone.

Rex?

I swipe to accept the call.

"What's up, Rex?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Lucas's head snap up, his gaze more tormented than it was only seconds ago.

"Why the hell haven't you answered my calls or texts? I got a call from Reed Hoffman after the game. He wants to meet tomorrow morning." He pauses for a long second, a tense silence making my skin crawl. "Your contract has been canceled."