Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

Alex

When I come back from the bathroom, naked and carrying a yellow towel, I find my girl on her back, her legs apart, her hands on her head as her chest continues to heave with her breathing. Her body is utter perfection, flushed and marked from my beard and teeth. Her heavy breasts are luscious and her nipples are still tight, making my mouth water. Her center is glistening, my come dripping from the pussy I want to live in. As much as I want to go at her again, devour that sweet pussy of hers and maybe that mouth, I know I have to tread lightly. I just dropped one hell of a truth bomb, and I need her to process. I need her to see things my way.

The right way.

As I press my knee into her mattress between her legs, I part her thighs to clean her up, softly and slowly. She doesn't look at me as I do, and I'm okay with that. I look down at my gorgeous angel, and I'm smacked square in the chest at how beautiful she is with my child growing inside her.

I have always found Elliot McDavid to be stunning.

With her lethal body and long hair, hazel eyes that are expressive but also hiding so much, I've always wanted to peel back the layers and find out everything there is to know about her. The stuff she tries to hide from me. She tried to hide a lot from me, but my child won't be one of those things. I love the curve of her stomach more so than her abs.

Her carrying my baby is a sight I wasn't prepared for.

But one I welcome with my whole heart.

I move my gaze to her center, cleaning away the aftermath of our lovemaking, and when I speak, much to my surprise, my voice is even but low. "When are you due?"

She swallows, dropping her hands but still not meeting my gaze. "July fourteenth."

"When is your next doctor's appointment?"

"Not till next week, the ninth." Her eyes move to mine.

"Have you picked out names?"

She shakes her head. "Not yet."

"Why not?"

"I was waiting for you," she whispers, and it's her confessions that ease my anger and my sense of betrayal. She never wanted to do this without me; she just struggled with telling me. I've never seen this girl scared of anything, but having a baby is life-altering. I just need her to realize that I can be with her through this. Her eyes cut to mine out of nowhere before she asks, "You're just going to drop a bomb and then clean me up and ask questions like you're asking me what I like on my ice cream sundae?"

I shrug as I fight back a grin. "Is that a problem?"

She sits up on her elbows, her face still flushed, her lips swollen, and looking all kinds of sated. Pride fills me, knowing I did that to her. Knowing that no other man has touched what is mine since she pushed me away. No one can love Elliot like I can. Her body and her heart were made for me. "Yes. We need to discuss this. I am not yours."

I laugh at that as I throw the towel into what I hope is a laundry basket and not a trash bin. "I disagree."

"Alex!"

"Elliot," I say, cutting my gaze back to hers.

"I am not someone to be owned."

"By someone who has no right, sure. But I am yours, just as you are mine."

She blinks, stunned, before she gawks at me. "No! I am my own person?—"

"Who is mine," I say, cutting her off. "Mine to protect, mine to provide for, mine to make laugh, mine to exist with, and mine to fucking love."

Tears gather in her eyes as I drop next to her, lying on my side to look at her profile. When a tear rolls down her cheek, I wipe it away before taking her by her hip and rolling her to her side so she can mirror the way I'm lying. More tears roll down, falling off her nose, and I wipe them away before she whispers, "You can't love me, Alex."

I scoff, moving my thumb to catch more tears. "But I do." She squeezes her eyes shut, and I cup her jaw, stroking her bottom lip. "And I know you feel things for me too, mi sol . It wasn't just sex, and you know it."

"It was," she says softly. "I don't want to be in a relationship."

"So you've said, but we were together for three months before you pushed me away. I thought of you every day, wanted you, and now that I have you, I'm not letting you go."

"I lied to you," she reminds me, her eyes burning into mine. "For six months, I hid this baby from you. Why would you want to be with someone like that?"

"I understand why you did it, Elliot," I answer hoarsely. "Am I upset about it? Sure. But I forgive you."

"How?" Her voice is so small, her eyes so sad, and it guts me. "I've hurt you."

"You have," I agree, pulling her lip down a bit. "But you were honest with me the first time, told me you didn't want a relationship. And yeah, I should have probably kept my feelings in check, but you're easy to fall for." I say it to make her smile, but she doesn't. I can see the mental war in her eyes, and I wish I could put on some armor and battle for her. "And the second time, I get that you were scared, and I suspect that you probably went to tell me a few different times, but you hesitated. Then time kept moving, and you just didn't know how to tell me when a day turned to months. I get it. I do."

"I dialed your number so many times, but something always stopped me. I didn't want to distract you."

"I know," I say softly. "I know because you never told your sisters. If you were trying to hide it from just me, you would have told them."

"I wanted to tell you first."

My heart flutters, and I believe her.

"But we can't be more than just parents to this baby." Her words sting but don't do damage because I was ready for them. "I will always feel like you want to be with me because of the baby, and that's it."

I grip her by her chin, forcing her eyes on me. "Erase that from your mind," I demand, my words oozing with authority. "I want to be with you because I love you, Elliot."

More tears fall, and she slowly shakes her head. "I am not a good person."

"I disagree," I whisper, stroking my thumb along her jaw. "I have a plan."

She's unmoving as she gazes into my eyes, her chest rising and falling in time with her heart. I can see the fear, the curiosity in her gaze. More than anything, I want to kiss her senseless, roll on top of her, and show her exactly how completely she is mine. I know I can't, though. I have to explain my plan.

"What?"

"Give me three months."

Her brows pull together.

"Give me until August first, which is a couple weeks after you have the baby, so I can show you that I can not only get you to fall for me, but show you that I can be your partner and be a great dad to our baby."

"Alex, I have no doubt that you'll be a wonderful father. I know you will. It's me. I'm not who I appear."

I want to shake her. "Why do you feel that way?"

She shakes her head. "I don't know."

I believe her words. I can see the emotions swirling in her eyes. "Elliot, do this for me."

"It isn't right. I'm too emotional. Of course I want our baby to have their daddy around. I'll develop feelings because I think it's what's best."

"No, you'll realize your feelings because it's what's right. We are right."

"We were sleeping together for three months, Alex?—"

"And I fell harder for you than I did any girl I was officially dating or in a relationship with."

"Because the sex is good. Obviously. Here we are."

She gestures her hand between our naked bodies, and I grin. "It is. I love burying myself in you, but it's good because it's you. Elliot, you are incredible."

She swallows, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears. "You don't know the broken pieces of me."

"No matter how broken, I'll love those pieces too."

"And what if you can't? What if you're disgusted by me?"

I cup her jaw. "I think you've built this idea in your head that I will, and you won't come off that idea. So I'll just show you how the last thing I'll ever be is disgusted by you."

Her tears fall as she looks down at my chest, running her fingers along my tattoo. I watch her small fingertips as she traces the letters of the quote on my chest.

Die with memories, not dreams.

My mom used to say it all the time when we were growing up, and when I got it inked on me, she beat my ass for getting a tattoo but then told me she secretly loved it. As Elliot's eyes move along the script, her breathing is labored, but she says nothing. I'd give my left nut to know what she is thinking, and I hate the silence. Breathing in through my nose, I say, "Give me this, mi sol . Let me prove to you what I already know."

Her eyes cut to mine. "No one can get hurt if we just accept being the baby's parents and that's it."

"I won't accept that. It's defeatist, the last way I want to live my life. I want to be yours, Elliot."

She inhales deeply and then lets it out in a long breath, her eyes searching mine. "I'm gonna end up shattered."

I cuddle her to me, her stomach and chest pressing into mine as I capture her by the nape of the neck. "No, mi sol . I'm going to love you whole."

And that's a goal I know I can score from inside the net myself.