Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

Elliot

I spent the night and morning going over that exchange with Alex. I went back and forth about what I would say. I had a plan. I couldn't sleep. I am scared out of my mind and even a little bit sad.

Terrified, because I want to follow my heart.

Miserable, because I've already hurt him twice, when that's the last thing I want to do.

I want to follow my heart, but I can't. I want to give myself to him, but the insecurities I have are overriding my desires. I know the best thing is to raise our child as friends and let it be. But my stupid heart wants to romanticize us being a family. Loving not only our child but each other. Opening myself up to him, though, wouldn't end well for me.

Not when I've already done so wrong by him.

But then he kissed me.

Like, really kissed me.

As if I hadn't pushed him away and hidden his child from him.

As if I'm the only person he wants to kiss.

And I let him.

I fell into that kiss because I've missed his lips, because I've missed the feel of him against my body and how kissing him centers me. Even when I feel like I'm spiraling out of control, his lips anchor me. I love the feel of him, the taste of him, and I want to drown myself in all the feelings he wants me to feel. I shouldn't want this. I should stop him, but…I don't want to.

I want this.

I want him .

I haven't allowed anyone to touch me in six months.

And if I'm honest with myself, I've craved his touch.

Closure. This is closure.

And let's be real honest—I fucking love the sight of him on his knees before me.

Alex leans in, running his tongue along my swollen folds. He takes his time, savoring me as I cling to his shoulders. I'm unsteady as fuck, and I can't blame it on anything but the man before me. He runs his tongue up the slit of my lips, and I cry out when the tip of his tongue lightly strokes my clit. He hums against my folds, and I squeeze his shoulders, his name escaping from between clenched teeth. He then kisses my pussy before rubbing my sides. I open my eyes to find him watching me, his eyes so dark I don't see even a hint of caramel in them. Just dark chocolate, and boy, do I want to devour him.

His eyes move down my body as he splays his hands over my extended belly. He trails his nose along the curve of my stomach before pressing his lips to my belly button. Tears burn as I watch him kiss my stomach before meeting my gaze. "You remember that night in New Jersey?" he asks, his lips moving against my belly. "When we went to that rooftop restaurant and that family was seated beside us?"

My heart squeezes as I nod. "The couple was celebrating their first wedding anniversary."

"And they didn't have family and they wanted a night out, so they brought their baby boys."

I smile, my heart pounding at the memory. "Chris said he wished he could ask her to dance when the violin started. And you, being you, said, ‘Go dance. We'll watch the boys.'"

His eyes shine with a gorgeous light. "They didn't know us, but fuck if they didn't hand those boys over and hit that dance floor."

"I still follow them on Insta. The boys just had their first birthdays."

"I know. I follow them too. I sent them a present from us, the strangers who held them while their parents danced."

Once more, tears burn in my eyes. I really don't know why I'm such an emotional mess. "We made their night."

"We did," he agrees, stroking my stomach. "That's also the night I realized I wanted kids. With you."

My breath hitches as my eyes widen. "Alex, you couldn't have wanted that."

"I did," he insists before reaching for my panties and sliding them down my legs. "I do."

"Alex," I practically beg, my heart slamming into my ribs. "It was sex."

"It wasn't," he tells me, once more so damn sure. "You know it wasn't."

Before I can even process his words or even try to disagree with him, he stands before me. He reaches behind him, pulling his black tee off his body and dropping it to the floor. My mouth goes dry at the sight of his pecs, the firm muscles of his stomach, and the trail of hair that disappears at his waistline. Alex grabs me by the backs of my thighs and lifts me off my feet with ease before slowly laying me back on the bed and covering my body with his.

His chest molds to mine as he captures my mouth. I wrap my arms around his neck, opening my legs to cradle his hips between my thighs as his hard length presses into my center. I moan as he devours me. His tongue moves with mine, licking, nibbling, and driving me out of my mind. He's careful of my stomach, holding himself up so he doesn't crush us, and the easy way he does it hits me square in the chest.

He breaks the kiss to nibble along my bottom lip and my jaw before pushing up to his knees. He unfastens his pants, and the way I watch him is the way someone would watch a god. Unadulterated worship for the man who's opening his pants, freeing his massive cock. Precome spills from the tip, and I'm salivating for a taste. I lick my lips as he pushes his pants down, kicking them off before taking me by the backs of my thighs and bringing my center to the tip of his engorged flesh. I gasp at the feel of his head at my entrance, and when I arch up to it, his eyes darken.

"Just sex, huh?" he asks, his words clipped and dark. He pushes into me, and I cry out as he fills me deeply, to the hilt. He's settled inside me, and he cages me in with his hands at either side of my head as his eyes fall to mine.

"It wasn't just sex," he says, pulling out, just to jam back in with a vengeance, as if to drive his words home. "Was it just sex when we shared meals?" Thrust . "When I'd kiss your lips before you left me every single time?" Thrust . "Or when you bought me my favorite tape because I forgot to order some and the arena didn't carry it?" Thrust . "Or when we were in Kentucky and you needed pads and a heating pad because you started, so I ordered it to be delivered before we got to the hotel."

Thrust .

Thrust .

Thrust.

Thrust .

I'm lost in his words, in the feel of him filling me to the brim, and all I can do is hold on. My fingers bite into his arms, pleasure building throughout my whole body as his eyes keep me trapped. "Alex, please."

He snarls at my words. "I'm not done." Thrust . "You want words, here they fucking are."

Thrust.

Thrust.

Thrust.

"I can't, I can't," I chant, but my words don't alter his fluid motions.

"You fucking can, mi sol . It wasn't just sex, because sex would be, I only like you enough to fill your hole with my come, my cock, my hands, and my tongue." Thrust, thrust, thrust. Three in quick succession that have me screaming his name as stars dance along my vision. "No, I don't just like you."

He thrusts once more and explodes inside me, his hot come filling me everywhere as I groan, overwhelmed by his thrusts and his words. His eyes close as my name falls from his lips, and I swear I come again at the sight. I watch as his jaw ticks, his body so rigid as he jerks inside me.

He is honestly the most beautiful man I've ever laid eyes on.

Once more, his hands cage me in, his dark-caramel eyes meeting mine with such force, I gasp at the intensity in them. "I fucking love you. I've been in love with you for a long while, and it wasn't and isn't just sex. It's more, and you fucking know it."

My mouth parts, tears spilling down the sides of my face as I stay locked in his gaze. "You can't."

He scoffs. "I fucking do."

"But—"

"But nothing," he insists, his eyes never leaving mine. His body is still so taut, his cock throbbing inside me as his come leaks out. "I know what I want, and it's you."

"Because I'm pregnant with your child?" I try to say, tears burning in my eyes. "You just think you're in love with me and want me because of the baby."

His eyes darken as he lets out a guttural chuckle that sends chills down my spine and heat to my center. "Elliot, have you not been listening to me?" Thrust. "I wanted you and loved you before I knocked you up. I was just giving you time."

Surely not. How? I had made sure it was just sex, but he feels like this? What is happening? "Time?" My voice is so small, incredulous, as I hold his gaze.

A small smile pulls at his beautiful lips. "To get used to the idea."

I blink, unable to form words.

"But time is of the essence." My eyes widen as he leans in, his lips right over mine. In Spanish, he whispers, "I'm done waiting. This child, mine. You, my sun, mine. And I'm going to prove it to you."

Then he takes my lips with his, and I let him.

Oh hell, do I let him.

Because what in God's creation am I supposed to say to that?