Chapter Four

Ben was fucking amazing. Rider focused on that to keep himself sane. He was such a force of nature. The entire family fell in line the moment Ben took charge. Rider had never understood how Ben so easily controlled every situation before now. When it wasn't him Ben managed, Rider caught every nuance. He sounded confident—like he knew everything about everything. Then he did that thing with the confidence of a seasoned professional. It was fascinating.

Rider felt certain Ben had never arranged a funeral. At least, not that he had heard. But Ben not only got everything under control, he kept Rider's mom in line. It was masterful. Every time Jules jumped to going overboard, as if his dad would know his casket cost a hundred thousand dollars, Ben reeled her in, keeping her reasonable. There were times Rider nearly laughed at Ben's finesse. His mom tried going crazy on costs. Ben quietly reminded her how many shoes that much could buy. Ben had her number and did it in such a way his mom didn't feel guilty. It was obvious she saw Ben as looking out for her future. And really, he was. With his dad gone, she would likely be bankrupt in under a year. His mom didn't understand moderation. Thankfully, Ben had already talked her down from several ledges and promised to show her how to invest in a way that would keep her in her lavish lifestyle for life.

Listening to the way Ben handled his family made Rider realize how unfair life was to the kindest people. If Ben had Rider's advantages, he could do anything. Instead, he was stuck in a rundown apartment with no car and unable to even buy new clothes. Rider needed to step up. He needed to stop pretending he could live without him. Unfortunately, now wasn't the time to talk about feelings.

The funeral came and went in a blur. Even as his father was laid to rest, nothing felt real. He imagined the shock would fully fade at some point. People milled around his parents' home. They spoke in quiet tones until after the sun fell and the alcohol appeared. Too many people to count had offered their condolences. Rider spotted Ben across the room, sticking to the fringes and looking out of place. Their gazes met. Ben flashed him a reassuring smile. Rider's feet moved his way. Hugh, one of his father's old teammates, stepped in Rider's path before he made it to Ben.

"I don't know if you remember me."

"Of course," Rider said, accepting Hugh's handshake.

Oddly, Hugh didn't release his hand. "I can't tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I work in sports medicine now, specifically with professional athletes. You'd be surprised by the research that's shown a link between sports injuries and cardiovascular events. We're seeing it a lot more these days."

Rider didn't know what to say. He simply nodded.

Hugh patted his hand and still didn't let go. "You're the general manager of the Chuckers now, right?"

"Yes."

"Your dad was really proud of that. He talked about the team all the time."

Rider's throat swelled. He didn't want to have this conversation. Rider wanted to be with Ben. "Dad was proud of all his sons. He always let us know that."

"That's good. He was a good man." Hugh's brown eyes took on a very puppy dog look. "If you need anything, Jules knows how to get in touch with me. I'm always open to working with new teams. So if the Chuckers need anything, let me know."

Ah. There it was. The opportunistic moment. Rider gently tugged his hand away. He needed a stronger drink. "Thank you. I'll keep that in mind. If you'll excuse me."

"Of course." Hugh stepped aside.

Rider's gaze shot to where Ben had been. He was gone. Rider's shoulders fell. He was tired. Rider missed his bed and normal days with Ben. He glanced down at the empty glass in his hand. Surely there was some better whiskey in this house somewhere. Rider would find that first. Then he would hunt down Ben. He needed a real friend.

Ben sat in a lounge by the pool where it was quiet. He couldn't take the discomfort of being surrounded by strangers any longer. It was one thing to be Rider's rock. It was another being subjected to the pompous high society for hours on end. Jules' house was on the beach. The pool overlooked the ocean. A warm breeze ruffled his hair. It was sad this was the closest he had come to a vacation in years. This was the type of place he could never afford.

Matt appeared from nowhere and filled the lounge beside him. "Hey. I see you chose the best seat in the house."

Ben flashed Rider's youngest brother a smile. "It's beautiful here."

Matt nodded. The wind ruffled his dark hair. His eyes were the same light blue as Rider's, but his features weren't as hard. He looked younger and more carefree. "This is a fair turn from my usual scenery."

A soft chuckle fell from Ben's lips. "I imagine so." Matt played for the Canadian pro hockey league. "Halifax, right?"

A huge grin split Matt's face. "I'm surprised you know that."

That caught Ben off guard. "Why? I've worked for your brother for two years."

Matt shrugged. "I just assumed Rider never talks about us. He's never been very…" Matt made a gesture as if searching for the word.

"Human," Ben supplied.

Matt laughed. "I wasn't going to say that, but sure. Maybe more like he doesn't make friends easily. Most people never see past his prickly personality. To be fair, you've met our mom. She's always leaned too much on Rider. He's forced to draw hard limits with people. I think she taught him all relationships come with strings. If his own mom can't just love him without constant expectations, then surely none of the rest of us can either." Matt stared at the ocean. "At least, that's why I imagine he ran for his life and left us all behind the first moment he could."

It was obvious Matt loved his brother. Ben got it. Rider wasn't always easy to love. "He misses y'all. I can hear it in his voice when he talks about when you were kids. He keeps a file on his computer with all Harlan's and your stats. It's kind of funny the way he follows things like he can make you win by obsessing over it."

Matt chuckled. It was a soft and masculine sound that reminded Ben too much of Rider. "Quiet obsession is Rider's specialty."

"I'm aware. That's why he has ulcers."

They exchanged a look and burst out laughing.

Matt held his stare for an uncomfortable moment. His smile bled away, but he didn't break eye contact. "Thank you for everything you've done for my family. You haven't gone unnoticed. My mom." Matt hesitated. Ben waited him out. Matt sighed. "Well, you've met her. I know she loves us. I'm also fairly certain she loved Dad. She loves herself more, though. Always has. This whole nightmare would've been ten times more traumatizing if you hadn't stepped in. We see you."

Ben was more touched by that than he could express. He didn't feel seen often. "It was my pleasure to help how I could." Ben grinned. "I've worked for your brother for two years. My skills at handling difficult people are unmatched."

Matt laughed. "Oh, I'm sure. Rider went through a good thirty assistants before you."

"I'm aware. The entire office warned me not to get comfortable when he hired me." Ben couldn't stop smiling. Matt's upbeat nature was hard to resist.

"Would you like to go for a walk on the beach? This is likely the closest I'll get to a vacation for a while."

Matt's words so closely matched Ben's earlier thoughts. He couldn't resist. "Sure."

Together, they stood and headed for the beach. Matt's company was nice. Ben didn't feel quite as alone as he had since he arrived. Rider had been rightfully tied up in family business. Death was complicated, especially with someone as famous as Rider's father. Despite Ben's involvement in the arrangements, he had been shuffled to the side. That was fine. It was to be expected. Ben still felt out of place and lonely, though.

The walkway narrowed. Their elbows brushed. Matt took his arm and gently steered him down the darkened path. "Be careful. The stones are uneven through here."

The brush parted. Ben's breath caught as the ocean breeze hit him full force. The sound of waves had him closing his eyes to savor the moment.

"My brother has always been blind to how lucky he is."

The softly spoken words had Ben looking Matt's way.

He watched Ben in a way Ben hadn't seen from a man in years. It hurt Ben's chest. Matt looked at him the way Ben always prayed Rider would.

Still, Ben played dumb. Matt was a complication he didn't need. "I don't think that's true. He got those ulcers for a reason. Rider understands exactly how lucky he is to be where he's at. He lives in constant fear of losing it."

A wry smile touched Matt's lips. "I wasn't talking about his career. He has someone completely amazing right under his nose and he doesn't even see it."

Ben looked away. He couldn't risk Matt seeing his heart. "I don't know about that. He pays me really well." Ben wanted to pat himself on the back for his acting skills. If he didn't know himself, he might have thought he truly wasn't more than an employee. A sharp pain sliced through Ben. It was because he wasn't acting. Ben was only an employee. Friend or not, he didn't match Rider. This would never be his life.

Matt touched his elbow. They fell into step next to each other, getting closer to the water before walking along the edge.

"You should send me that file of stats. Maybe it will help me win more."

A laugh burst from Ben. The mood lightened. "I can do that."

"Good. I'll give you my number."

A weight lifted from Ben's chest as Matt fell into a discussion about the Canadian league. Ben found himself drawn into the conversation, fascinated by the difference in rules. He forgot about the reason he was there. The way Rider had ignored him since confessing Ben was his best friend moved to the back of his mind. Ben forgot to hurt over the realization Rider would forever be just out of reach. He decided to just enjoy Matt's company. For a while, Ben let go.