Chapter Three

It had been the best day. Ben had eaten so much, he thought he might pop. Rider had bought him seven new outfits, claiming they were a business expense. No matter how hard Ben argued, Rider wouldn't be denied. Secretly, Ben loved it. Without Rider, he would never have new clothes, much less clothes this expensive. While he made good money working for Rider, life kept getting more expensive every day, and his debt kept growing. Ben couldn't afford to be frivolous.

Rider helped him carry bags inside his apartment. One thing Ben adored about Rider was how Rider never made him feel uncomfortable about their difference in wealth. Ben knew Rider had been raised drowning in money. He knew Rider had to be horrified by the idea of apartment living and not owning a car. Having to walk through homeless people to get inside. Rider never batted an eye. It had taken Ben a little while to believe it wasn't an act. After two years, Ben accepted Rider didn't look down on him. It was one of the many reasons Ben had tolerated Rider's demanding and sometimes abrasive personality.

"Thank you again for all this," Ben said, dumping the bags on the couch. "Now, don't show up next Tuesday with a birthday gift. You've bought me enough."

"Show up next Tuesday with a birthday gift. Got it."

Ben sighed.

Rider smiled innocently.

How could Ben resist falling in love with him? That thought had a lump swelling in Ben's throat. One day, Rider would meet someone and get married. Ben would have to watch it happen in silence.

He cleared his throat. "Can I get you something to drink?"

Rider eyed him. "Are you okay?"

Ben forced a smile to his lips. "Of course. It just hit me how much work we'll have tomorrow after skipping out today."

"Well, how much work you'll have," Rider reminded him with a laugh. "I don't actually have to do much at all. Thanks to an amazing assistant, of course." Rider's phone rang. He checked the face. "Jesus Christ. It's Mom again. Just give me a second and I'll take that drink."

Ben nodded. He grabbed the bags and headed for his bedroom. After dropping everything on the bed, he trudged back to the kitchen to see if he had anything Rider would drink. No noise came from the living room. Ben checked to see if Rider had disappeared. He sat on the couch, staring at nothing.

"That was fast."

Rider's gaze moved Ben's way. He cleared his throat. "My father passed away."

Ben drew a sharp breath, as if he had been punched in the chest. While Rider had a contentious relationship with his mom, and he disapproved of many of his father's life choices, Rider very much loved his dad. Despite his fame, he had been a hands-on father. He had trained his sons to capture the same level of stardom he had achieved, while also assuring them it didn't matter if they failed. He would love them anyhow. Ben was a bit jealous of that.

Despite the loss having nothing to do with him, Ben's eyes stung. He had to blink to keep from crying. "Are you okay? Never mind. That's a stupid question. What can I do?"

Rider made a helpless gesture.

Ben nodded. He got it. Rider needed what he always needed from Ben: for Ben to handle his life. "Okay. We'll go to your place and pack your things. We'll have to stop by the office to get your passport and I'll charter you a flight. I'll drive." He held Rider's stare. "Don't worry. I'll take care of everything."

Rider made a jerky sort of nod Ben assumed was an agreement. Ben patted Rider's pockets, looking for his keys. Rider touched his arm, stopping him. "Go pack, okay?"

Ben didn't argue. It wasn't unusual for Rider to demand his presence on business trips. Rider was the reason Ben even had a passport. He had never needed one before Rider took him to get one, intent on Ben being wherever he was needed. Ben headed for his room and packed. Both their passports were in a safe in Rider's office, ensuring they could drop everything and go at any second. The team's owner lived in Canada. It wasn't unusual for him to demand an in-person meeting at the last minute, expecting a trip to a whole other country should be like a leisurely stroll down the street. That one was a rich one out of touch with reality. Ben had learned to adjust. All those panicked races across the country had prepared Ben for tonight. He knew exactly how to get them to Puerto Vallarta in a hurry. Ben would do what he could. It felt like not enough, but nothing was enough in a situation like this. He had to be Rider's rock.

Nothing felt real. Rider felt numb. Ben buzzed around him, handling everything like the professional he was. Meanwhile, Rider had nothing. He didn't know what to say or how to act. Part of him expected to get to Mexico and learn his mom was only being dramatic. She had never gone as far as this, but she could be a little crazy when she didn't get her way.

Unfortunately, no. The minute Ben drove their rental into his parents' driveway, he knew that hope was a fantasy. His brothers were already there. Ben grabbed their bags and followed him to the door. Rider knew he should help, but he couldn't feel his arms. Everything felt like walking through a dream. A nightmare.

As he stepped inside, the silence was deafening. It was as if everyone walked on their toes and held their breath. He found everyone in the living room not saying a word. His mom looked up as he stepped into the room. Her eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot from crying. At the sight of him, she immediately fell into hysterics. That was the way of things in their family. He was the oldest. Rider was the one she always called when things went wrong. Her other sons were her babies. He was the one who carried the load—like a third parent.

Rider did what was expected of him. He sat next to his mom and comforted her. She started rambling. "I don't know what happened. One second, we were arguing and then he told me to call nine one one. I thought he was being funny." She cried harder.

Rider patted her and stared at nothing. Inside, he fell apart, and no one noticed. His gaze moved to the doorway where Ben still stood, looking out of place. His gaze was locked on Rider. One person knew. The sympathy in Ben's eyes nearly broke him. Ben saw him like no one else. He saw beneath the rigid demeanor. Rider wanted to be alone with him. He needed Ben to let him rage.

His mom noticed Ben. She stopped wailing. Her voice changed, like nothing happened. "Oh. Jacob will show you where to take those." She spoke as if dismissing a servant. In fact, Jacob was her butler. Irritation flashed through Rider, but Ben simply nodded. Jacob appeared at his side and whisked him away, as if hiding the help. Rider took a calming breath. He needed to be strong. They had planning to do. As always, Matt and Harlan would be useless. Everything would fall to him. Rider fought an irrational desire to laugh. If they only knew. Rider didn't even know where his keys were. Ben ran his life. Rider didn't know how to do this.

It wasn't the least bit unusual for Ben to get delegated to hanging out with the household staff. That's how he was seen. When they went to Canada for meetings with Tanner, Ben always went to the kitchen and waited for the inevitable moment Rider would call him into the room. Rider didn't run the Chuckers alone. Ben kept him organized.

This was different. Rider's family didn't need him. Ben stayed in his place. The kitchen staff saw him as a guest but tolerated his presence. They served him the way they did the family, but they didn't speak freely. Everyone worked quietly, as if Ben conducted a performance review. He drank tea and fretted. Jacob had put Ben in the room next to Rider's, but Ben couldn't go to bed until he saw Rider one last time for the night. He had looked so lost while comforting his mother. Ben had wanted to run to his side. Instead, he was here, getting odd looks from people who wanted him out of their kitchen.

The third time the chef shot him an annoyed look, Ben stood. He worried he might be keeping them from going to bed. It hadn't occurred to him they couldn't leave until they knew the family no longer needed anything.

"If you don't mind, I'll take a cup of tea to Rider, then head to bed."

The guy nodded and poured a cup. Ben doctored it to Rider's liking and then headed for the living room. To his surprise, everyone still sat where he had left them, as if three hours hadn't passed, and it wasn't one in the morning.

Rider's gaze swung Ben's way as Ben entered the room. His eyes looked dead. Ben headed his way. He held out the cup. "You should drink this. Do you need anything else before I go to bed?" He felt the eyes upon him. Ben didn't care. He was there for Rider.

Jules spoke up before Rider answered. "Oh. Tea sounds lovely. Grab a tray for everyone. Maybe some cookies too."

"He isn't a servant." Rider sounded more tired than angry.

Ben needed to do something. "I don't mind."

"I do."

For a moment, Ben hesitated. He didn't want to go against Rider's wishes at such a delicate moment. Ben never obeyed. He headed back to the kitchen without meeting Rider's gaze. Thankfully, the chef hadn't left. Ben didn't know where anything was kept.

He pasted on an apologetic smile. "Jules wants a tray of tea and cookies."

The guy looked rightfully put out. "Sure."

"Sorry. If you show me where everything is, I'll that care of it."

He shook his head. "If it's not a certain way, she won't drink it."

Ben waited, occasionally flashing sympathetic smiles, until the tray was ready. He grabbed it. "Please get out of here before anyone notices."

With a smile, the staff rushed from the room. Ben headed back to the living room. Rider's eyes flashed with annoyance when he spotted Ben carrying the tray into the room. Ben set it on the coffee table and tried not to meet his stare.

Rider released a tired-sounding sigh. "Go to bed, Ben."

"Benjamin."

Ben cringed at the name.

Thankfully, Rider corrected her. "It's just Ben. It's not short for anything."

Jules blinked. "Well, that's a bit odd. Ben," she emphasized his name in a way that set Ben's teeth on edge. "Pour the tea."

"He's not a servant!"

Everyone startled at Rider's shout. Ben knew this version of Rider. He was about thirty seconds away from saying something he couldn't take back.

Ben took his hand. "All right. It's time for everyone to get some rest."

Even though Ben still felt the rage rolling from Rider, he let Ben lead him from the room. Ben didn't look back to check anyone's reactions. He didn't care about anyone but Rider. As much as he knew Rider wasn't the only one hurting, Rider was the only one who was his responsibility.

"I'm sorry."

Ben smiled as he opened Rider's bedroom door. He knew Rider's heart. "Don't apologize. You're allowed to feel your feelings without shoring up anyone else. He was your dad."

Rider swallowed. He looked on the verge of tears. Ben didn't know if he could handle that. Rider was so hard and strong. The idea of him crying was too much. Despite Ben's ability to deal with anything Rider threw at him, he was very much a crier. If Rider cried, he probably would too. That would embarrass the hell out of him.

"I know I'm your boss." Rider's voice broke. He cleared his throat. "I know I'm difficult and I probably make you hate me sometimes. But you're also my best friend and I should've said that before now."

Ben's eyes filled with tears. He blinked rapidly, praying they didn't fall.

"Don't let that go to your head."

An unexpected laugh burst from Ben at that tacked-on tidbit. He sniffed. "I won't, as long as it doesn't go to your head that you're my best friend too."

They shared a small smile.

Rider's fell first. "I don't know how to do this." Rider whispered the confession, as if he couldn't make his voice go any louder. The first tear fell.

Ben didn't think. He hugged him. Rider's arms tightened around him. Ben swiped his eyes on the sly. God, it felt so warm and amazing in Rider's hold. Ben wiped faster as the sad moment brought on all the feels. He was so in love with this man who would never be his. Ben would never get this moment again and it was under the worst of circumstances. His chest hurt for Rider's pain and his own loss. Rider would never love him. Being in his arms drove that point home harder than any other moment between them had.

"Are you crying for me?"

Ben sniffed. "Don't let that go to your head either."

Rider's body shook with laughter.

Ben closed his eyes and dreamed. He breathed Rider's scent into his lungs and memorized the way his body felt. Then he took a step back.

Ben squared his shoulders. "Go to bed. Tomorrow, we'll take care of everything together."

For a moment, Rider looked as if he wanted to say something. Instead, he gave Ben a sharp nod. "Good night, Ben. Thank you for coming with me."

"Of course. That's what friends are for." Ben headed for the safety of his assigned room before he did anything stupid. Tomorrow would come soon. They had a funeral to plan.