16. Stalking Solitude

Stalking Solitude

Jax

S he may have left, but we aren't far behind her.

And, when I say we, it's not just Sully and I, Koda is with us.

He's driving and I'm slumped in the backseat with my tail between my fucking legs. I really fucked up, and now because of my selfish ways, I might have lost the girl I'm in love with.

We've been driving for hours, and I've noticed Dakota look at his phone a million times, like he is doing right now, and here I go again, not minding my own fucking business, but this might be the liquor talking.

"Who the fuck are you talking to?" I growl, I'm annoyed.

"I'm not talking to anyone, asshole." Koda looks in his rear view mirror back at me.

"I've seen you look at your phone a million times." I lift my brow, waiting for his explanation.

He chuckles, "Alright, don't you fucking dare tell Macie."

Oh shit, here we fucking go.

"Tell her what?" Sully asks while he takes Koda's phone before he looks at it, and I lean forward in the seat.

I see the satellite map, with a little red dot, and it ain't us, "You have a fucking tracker on her car?" I laugh .

"Yeah, don't fucking tell her." Koda laughs

"Oh, and I'm the fucked up one?" I growl, what the fuck.

"Man, we all fucked up."

"Yeah, but she'll forgive your ass, you're her brother."

"Technically you are too." Sully laughs

"Fuck you, No." I punch Sully in the arm.

"Oh yeah, Jax fucking his step sissy." This mother fucker just won't stop.

"Fuck you, Sully."

They fucking laugh, thinking the shits funny, I mean, it kind of is.

"Why do you have a tracker on her car?" I want to know more.

"Dad put it in when he got that car for her, that's why it's so important to her." Koda takes a deep breath, he hates talking about his dad, "Dad knew that was going to be his way of finding her when she threw one of her bratty fits and took off, but he never got to do that."

The silence fills the car for a moment. Jack was a good coach, he made me into who I am; Not my father.

"I kept it active, just in case, for Dad, I guess."

"That's how you found out she was working at the club." I ask, piecing shit together.

He nods and laughs, "Yeah."

"Is she supposed to be staying on that blue line we are following?" Sully asks

"Yeah."

"Well, she's not anymore." Sully laughs, showing Koda the phone .

"Guess we're going for a detour." Koda laughs, finding this shit comical, and I'm back here worried about her little ass.

I shake my head and sit back in the seat, pulling out my phone, I pull up her name and hover my finger over her name, wanting to call her; but I lock the screen and throw my phone across the seat.

I have to give her the time she asked for, even though it is eating me alive, but I at least can breathe a little better knowing where she is exactly; smooth Jack, fucking smooth.

Dakota

Dad knew one day Macie would run off having one of her bratty fits, but this isn't her having a bratty fit.

I know I told Jax to bring her home, but I didn't necessarily mean bring her to the rink; It was just a fucked up situation, and I knew telling Jax would get him heated, but we needed to handle this situation. He wasn't about to leave her there by herself anyways.

She'll get over it, she just needs to blow off some steam, and she's probably going to blow some money shopping, that's what my sister does when she's pissed and thinking.

Jax is beating himself up over this, and we are all at fault here; I'll talk to Macie once she settles down, I'll also take the blame for it if I need to.

She doesn't need to hold this against Jax, I've seen how happy she is since they have been, whatever they are.

Macie

I take a detour, off track, to go explore an outlet mall I know is close by and well, I'm in the mood to blow some money. Plus, I need some new heels, since I have no idea where mine went the other night; I'm pissed about that; they were my favorite pair.

All three of the guys have called me a few times, but it hasn't been for a few hours now. I think they got the hint; I'm not going to answer.

Honestly, I just don't want to turn my music down. I've got the windows down, my hair swirls in the wind, and I've just zoned into my driving, of course thinking about everything.

I don't want to walk away from Jax, I know he meant well, I know that.

THAT is why I didn't tell them in the first place; But he lied to me and broke my trust in the process. I don't trust easily, and now, I don't know.

The last time I came to this outlet mall, Holly was with me. We spent so much money that day, oh… it was so bad. But I haven't been since then; So, I guess I have to do it again.

Too bad I didn't have Jax's card, that would be one hell of a pay back; I would melt that damn thing I'm so angry with him, just to be spiteful.

I'll just melt my brothers. I have a card of his he told me to take, in case of an emergency; Whelp, it's an emergency, or… it's payback.

Enjoy paying this bill Koda .

I have a few emails from the agent I'm working with about the event. She's sent me everything I need. I have my access code to get into the building, so I can practice where I will be performing; Which is awesome, it will help me feel the vibe come show day.

As much as I am excited, I'm scared to death and all of this on top of it, I won't lie, I'm second guessing myself; Can I pull this off.

I really hope I can, or I'll just embarrass myself before I get started.

I pull into the parking lot; a good mixture of emotions hits me as memories swirl around of Holly and me; I'll spend extra for you girl.

I park my car before I grab my credit card from my wallet, slide it into the back of my phone, tuck my wallet in the center console, in its hiding spot; As much as I'm a girlie, girl, most days, I hate carrying a purse when I shop.

I get out of the car before I make my way to the shops.

This was a terrible idea to do in the mood I'm in, I'll regret this later, but right now, I need to burn some energy off, plus, my ass is hurting from sitting in my car.

I immediately go to my favorite store, where I get my heels. Of course I'm going for heels first, they make me, ME; I would wear heels in sweatpants if it wouldn't look ridiculous. I love the feel of them, and the fact they make me taller.

Won't lie, they make my ass pop too!

I walk into the store and start my search really looking for whatever, nothing in particular, just ready to spend some fucking money. Fuck you Guys!

Jax

I feel like I am a stalker, stalking her right now.

All three of us with our hoods up, sitting outside the store she's in. Straight up fucking spying.

"Koda we should not be doing this." I shake my head with my words as I watch her through the glass window looking at her favorite, her damn heels.

"Why not?; She will never know." He laughs

"Yeah, until we get caught motherfucker."

"She's going to be pissed." Sully laughs.

"I really don't care, I'm not letting my baby sister explore the fucking world with out some sort of supervision; She'll never know. We aren't doing anything wrong."

"The fuck we're not. You already got my fucking ass in trouble, now look at me, fucking spying on her." I growl, before I clench my teeth.

He laughs, "Yeah, well."

"Yeah, well my ass, she's not mad at you."

"Yeah, she is, that's why she won't answer."

I look to Sully.

"She isn't answering me either, so, she's mad at us all." He barks and I shake my head, but I roll with it because I agree with Koda; yet didn't I just get into trouble for betraying her trust.

Fuck me.

It's hard to see her through the glass now and all the people walking by, but I see that blonde hair roaming around in the store. She's in there forever too, which makes me laugh; she does know how to shop till she drops .

"Here she comes, put your head down." Koda laughs out and we all drop our chins to our chests, but I can't tear my eyes off her as she walks out the door with three bags in her hand, and she's off to the next one.

Koda's hand slaps across my chest before he jumps up, "Come on, let's go."

This is fucking wrong, we should not be doing this but, she's getting her way, and we're getting ours.

We walk a good distance behind her, and I do try, but I can't help my eyes settling on that perfect little ass, jiggling with each step, wanting to squeeze those cheeks in my hands; Jesus Jax, get your shit together.

She goes into another store, and we find a seat in front of the store again and wait for her next move.

Macie

I've managed four pairs of heels, and now I'm working on some outfits; I need a new wardrobe anyways, so mine as well get it all done now.

As much as I am trying to procrastinate getting home, I need to because I need to practice and get ready so, I won't go crazy with detours.

I grab a few outfits and take them to the dressing room to start trying them on. Kind of wishing Jax was here so I could give him a show of them, but…

It takes a while to get through them all, yes, I go crazy. Adding six bags to my three already, I call it a day of shopping, spending an unnecessary amount of money.

I put my bags in the back seat of my car before getting into the driver's seat. I hit up a fast-food joint, before I get back out on the main road, to start my night of driving.

The cool brisk night air flows in my windows, and even though I've made this trip already, this time I'm doing it alone. I had always planned on leaving alone anyways.

Hours and hours of driving, listening to the songs on the radio they play over and over. I turn my playlist on from my phone and let my mind wander into a routine for next weekend, well this weekend now. I only have five days now; I really cut myself short. Ha!

As I drive, a smile pulls from my lips as I approach the beach I made Jax stop at.

Fuck it. It's the middle of the night but fuck it.

I pull off on the side of the road, shutting my car off, before I grab my phone and keys, and make my way out of my car.

The moon is so bright, I don't need a light. She reflects from the water, creating a beautiful natural light. I make my way out onto the beach, before I sit down in the sand. Bringing my knees to my chest, I wrap my arms around them, and rest my chin to my knees, staring out into the open water, hanging on to the last ounce of control I have.

I've kept myself in control behind the wheel, shopping, well, okay, my shopping was definitely me losing control. But I'm talking emotionally.

Corey took so much from me. When I thought my life would never be the same, basically after my dad, it took me years to get back to normal. Corey was there when I started to get back to things, showing interest that he hadn't before. And I fucking fell for it.

I was so broken, I even thought about leaving this world forever. That hit me even harder after Holly died. I thought I for sure was a goner. But something inside me said I will not let this ruin me, and I pulled myself together.

I lay back in the sand and stare up into the dark night sky, the stars so bright, taking this in, this freedom, a different kind, my freedom.

The tears start to trickle from my eyes, fighting so hard to not let myself fall into that pain. I close my eyes. Fuck it.

Jax

This is exactly why I can't trust her to let her do shit by herself. It's the middle of the fucking night.

We stayed a few miles behind her, and when the little red dot stopped moving on Koda's phone, I saw where it was. She's at the beach we stopped at.

Koda pulls over and stops, seeing her car on the side of the road up ahead.

"What the fuck is she doing?" Sully snaps.

"See why Dad had a tracker on her."

I lean forward in the seat and look out the windshield seeing her laying out on the beach, "Is she fucking sleeping? "

"Oh, fuck no, I'm sorry. I can't take this anymore." I get out of the car, Sully and Koda follow me.

"Jax" I turn and look at Sully.

"Don't go out there mad."

I clench my teeth before I swallow hard.

"I don't want to go out there at all, but she's left me no choice." I bark back. I'm trying to give her space like she wants, but fuck.

She's in the middle of fucking nowhere; you want to fucking nap, nap in your fucking car. Jesus Macie.

I make my way out to her, knowing this isn't going to go well, but she can't be out here fucking sleeping, what the fuck.

Since she wants to put herself at risk, I should fuck with her, and you know what; I am.

I pull my hood up, sliding my sunglasses down, not able to see a fucking thing now, I slowly walk up to her laying on her back in the sand. The closer I get, the moon lights her sleeping face up making it clearer in my vision. She's sound to sleep too.

Fuck Macie; I stand over top of her and her eyes fly open. She smiles up at me, and I'm half freaked by that, is she sleeping, or does she know it's me.

"BOO!" She laughs.

I drop to my knees, straddling her little body between my legs, and lean over her, resting my hands on both sides of her head.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing?" I growl, hovering overtop of her.

"Taking a break from driving." She giggles like it's nothing.

"Angel, you can't be out here in the middle of the night."

"Why? "

"Really?"

She reaches up, seeing something in her hand before something lights my ass up with a jolting electric shock that burns the hair from my nuts.

"What the fuck Macie?" I stutter out, fuck that hurt.

She laughs, curling into a ball against my leg with her laughter, and I mean losing it. Her hand uncovers the taser she just fucking tased my ass with.

"You just fucking tased me?"

"Yeah" She laughs her response and I grab the taser from her.

"Worried about me being out here, now?" She giggles, but I here that attitude in her tone too.

"Not as much."

She looks up, and for the first time since all this shit went down, she meets my gaze on her, looking into my eyes with those eyes that are always so pure.

I go to stand, but she wraps her hand around my wrist, stopping me, "Stay."

I nod and lay beside her, my back against the cool sand, and she reaches over, lacing her little fingers through mine, "I'm sorry I left like I did, but you hurt me Jax."

"I know I did Angel."

"I know that you guys want to protect me, but you can't always protect me."

"I can."

She looks over and I've already been looking at her, my eyes have been glued to her lips moving with every word.

"I don't want to keep reliving my past Jax and I need you, all of you, to let this go. "

"I didn't go after him, did I?" That was kind of shitty, but it's the truth.

It took everything I had to not go anyways, damn the consequences, but she won, she will always win.

"No, I guess not."

"Are we sleeping here tonight?" Sully asks and I look up, watching him and Koda walk over, before I look over at her.

"Will you at least let me drive the rest of the way?"

She searches my eyes, like she's fighting to say yes, "I don't know."

Man, she's fucking stubborn.

"Not skinny dipping this time?" Sully asks her and she giggles, "No, not this time."

She looks to Koda after she sits up, "What the hell are you doing here?"

Oh, yeah, she doesn't know.

"I can't let you have all the fun Mac."

"Are you serious?" She springs up from the sand and she jumps into Koda's arms.

Those two, I have never seen a brother and sister as close as them. But how the fuck does he get forgiven so damn easy, what the fuck.

I stand and she finally has that smile that makes her… her, my angel.

She looks at the three of us, "Guys, I know you meant well, but please, leave this alone. I've moved on from it, I see my future; I'm not living in the past anymore. We all have a new start here."

She always finds beauty in everything, her past has ruined her to love, but her heart is so pure, begging to love, begging to be loved, she is an angel.

Maci e

Taking my own advice, I swallow this down, and move on.

Trust will need to be earned, there is no question there, but I know they meant well. BUT they still all deserve a little pay back for their stabbing in the back.

With my taser in my hand, I try to hold my laugh in as I stare at the three of them. My hand behind my back, I already got Jax, so poor Sully and Dakota.

My hand comes around and I get Dakota first, connecting the electric jolt to his side, watching him drop to his knees with his growling words "What the fuck!"

I hurry up and get Sully, connecting the prongs to his side, lighting him up, before I take off running.

Sully is quick to recover, Jax can't get his shit together with his laugh, and my brother is in a daze, I look over my shoulder as I run back to my car and Sully is hot on my heels, before I'm in his arms and over his shoulder.

"What the fuck was that!?" He half growls half laughs.

I laugh, as I dangle over his shoulder, I can't take it, I needed this laugh, and I got their fucking asses, "Serves you right, fucker!"

He takes off running towards the water and I start squirming, "Sully, DON'T!"

"Oh, YES!" He laughs and it's too late .

He jumps into the crashing waves with me, the ice-cold water hits my skin like needles as I go under, but I quickly get myself above water again.

Wiping the water from my face, the laugh still coming from my lungs, Sully too, before his face goes serious, "Macie, I'm sorry for what happened."

"I know Sully. It's a fucked-up situation all around."

"Yeah, it was. But don't hide shit like this, you hear me." He hardens his stare on me, and I see the same worry in his eyes that I see in Jax and Dakota's eyes.

I nod.

"You promise?"

I nod with my answer, "I promise, Sully. And just so you know. I was going to tell you, but…"

He nods, "Holly died."

I return that nod with tears stinging my eyes, "Yeah, I couldn't tell you because of that, you already had enough going on."

"Yeah, well, you lost her too Macie." I drop my gaze sucking in a deep breath with that.

"Alright come on." Sully says before I start swimming back to shore behind Sully, unable to contain the chatter from my teeth; This water is freezing.

I get my feet on the sandy bottom and start my walk up the beach to Jax and Dakota. I just want this, the happiness between us all, like it used to be, just wish Holly was here too.

I would say, I've got all my brothers, but um…

Jax is far from my brother.

As I step in front of Jax he looks down, sliding his palm to my cheek, feeling the heat from his hand warms me immediately pulling a smile from my lips, "Are you going to let me drive you now?"