15. Not Ready to Make Nice

Not Ready to Make Nice

Jax

I was expecting to find her at her spot, but I'm here and she's not. And now the worry consumes me.

I've called her a million times, I've been home, I have her car. The only place I haven't been to is the club, so I make my way there.

I fucked up letting my own wants and needs take over, not realizing what this was going to do to her.

I was already planning to come home, but when Koda told me that shit about Corey, I was desperate to get here, Koda said bring her too, we both fucked up.

I saw the look in her eyes when she saw Corey. I was behind him; I saw her tremble immediately. She doesn't have to tell me anything, I fucking know Corey. He's a fucking punk.

Shocked Koda has kept his shit together as long as he has, finding this shit out. That's alright. I'm not done with Corey.

I pull into the club parking lot, getting out I make my way inside.

Immediately seeing her friend Keri, "Where is she?"

She laughs, "Why would I tell you."

"Because I'm not going to ask twice."

"You don't want to talk to her right now."

I cock a brow as my hands draw into fists, "I'm not in the mood. "

"Neither is she, and she's drunk; I don't know if you know how she is when she's been drinking but, now isn't the time to make nice."

I huff my smile, "Where is she?"

"Don't say I didn't warn you." She points to a door, "She's in there."

I walk past her, and she snaps her sass, "You're welcome."

I throw my middle finger up as I continue to walk to where Macie is, preparing myself. I know how she is when she's drunk and pissed off. She turns into a raging bitch.

Keri

I shouldn't have let him in there. He brought her home to face her demon. She told me what happened with her and Corey and how much it broke her.

She was so happy to finally get out of here and now, look, she's back and Corey's here; Fucking scum.

I know Jax means well, but Macie is not in any kind of listening or talking mood. She has not one, but two bottles of Jack, which she will drink at least one of them, when she is like this.

For a little thing she is a fish. It took Macie a long time to get over what Corey did to her, and then she lost her best friend Holly. She has been drowning in pain and heart break.

She was getting what she wanted. She told me about her new job. I'm so proud of her. For not having support, that girl has fought hard to be where she is, to overcome the demons that have swallowed her .

It's time for her to be happy and have what she's always wanted.

Jax

I open the door and before I even step in her words snap out, "Get the fuck out."

I laugh and step in, shutting the door behind me as my eyes draw up to her, just laying back against her silks in the air, like a hammock, with a bottle of Jack dangling from her hand.

Oh, boy, she's got the good stuff too. Finding a bit of humor in this, I make my way to her.

"Get the fuck out Jax." She slurs, "I don't want you here."

"I don't care." I growl.

She throws the bottle of whiskey at me, causing me to duck before the bottle shatters against the wall.

"Well, that was a fucking waste." I bark.

She reaches up to her stomach behind her silks and here appears another bottle.

"You throw that at me, I will rip you down from there." I growl and she throws it at me any fucking ways, but I was ready, I catch it.

"I catch pucks going a lot faster than that. What else have you got?" I growl, stepping up on the stage beside her.

"Get out Jax." She hisses, making eye contact with me .

Seeing her close, I see the flush on her cheeks, her blood shot eyes, and I've heard the slur in her words; She is drunk, that is for sure.

"Why are you mad at me?" I ask, but I already know the damn answer.

She wraps her hands around her silks and sits up and I watch her eyes roll, probably from feeling lightheaded with her fast movement as she wobbles a little.

"Macie get down before you hurt yourself."

She rolls her eyes and I've had enough; I reach up and yank her off her silks as she fights against me. Yeah, been here before.

"Get off Jax, let me down now."

"No, we're leaving."

She knees me in the stomach, and I growl.

"You set me up you son of a bitch."

Ah, there it is, why she is mad at me, "I know I fucked up."

"Jax, put me down, I mean it."

She punches me in the back, but I keep carrying her over my shoulder out the door, before down the hallway I go with her little fists hitting against my back.

Keri goes to step in front of me and I growl my words, "Get the fuck out of my way" I'm done playing with these sassy little bitches tonight.

She steps to the side and I'm out the door, opening the passenger door to Macie's car before I put her in the front seat, and she looks up with tears in her eyes, "It wasn't just the bet Jax."

"What was it, what did he do to you Angel?"

And here it comes; She launches herself out of her car, hunching over before all the liquor she's been drinking is now in the parking lot .

I snort a laugh, I can't help it. But I do help her, I grab her hair and pull it back, and she side eyes me.

"This is fucking disgusting" she giggles and I do everything I can to keep myself from breaking into a fit of laughter.

"Are you done?" I try to ask in concern instead of in laughter but it's hard.

"No" She stands and looks down at her bare feet, "Where are my heels?"

"I don't know, get in the car, you can get a new pair."

She looks me dead in the eyes as she rolls her tongue across her teeth, "They were my favorite pair."

I grab the bridge of my nose and take a deep breath, before I look at her again, "Get in the fucking car, we're going home."

"Make me."

"Okay." My hand latches around her throat as I pin her to her car, and she smiles up at me, raising her chin more.

"I asked you for the truth, and you wouldn't tell me." I growl.

"You want the truth; Here's the truth." She hisses, taking a deep breath, "Corey made me fall in love with him, then he took my virginity and before he even pulled his dick out, he looked me in the eye and told me about his bet and laughed in my face."

Now I think I'm the one who is going to throw up. I let go of her and take a step back.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." She snaps.

"Why didn't you tell me."

"Because I threatened him, and he left."

"What did you threaten him with? "

"I told him he had to quit the team, or I was going to tell Dakota, which meant you and Sully would also find out."

"That's why he left?"

"Yes. Happy now."

"Yes and no" I cup her face in my hand and her eyes fall closed. Knowing this now, Corey is definitely having that visit I had already planned.

"Let's go home."

"Why did you do this to me Jax. I trusted you."

"Because I knew, no matter how much someone pulls at you, you will not break; You would not have told me all this if I didn't bring you home and see for myself how you acted around him."

She tilts her head to the side, "Yeah, you're right. I wouldn't have. You don't need to know everything." She rolls her eyes with her curled lip, before she gets into the car, using her car to keep her balance and I shake my head.

It hurts I did this to her, but now I know the truth, and there are no secrets, but I broke her trust in the process.

Maybe she will move on from this shit and let someone love her.

Macie

My knees are pulled to my chest in the passenger seat of my car, the road in front of me extremely blurry. Having way more than I should've drank, way past my max, I feel terrible and can barely keep my eyes open. But the pain that I know is going to consume me in the morning is numb, not feeling a damn thing after being smacked in the face seeing Corey.

When I left the rink, I went straight to the club and started my drinking bender, knowing my anger and drinking is a terrible combination, I did it anyways.

I'm angry with Jax for setting me up like this. But he is right. I wouldn't have told him, but so am I, he doesn't need to know everything.

It's a secret I locked away, knowing that one day it may come out, but as long as Corey stayed away, it wouldn't have.

Jax pulls into the driveway, and I cringe, not wanting to be here, and most definitely not wanting to be around my mother.

"I don't feel like dealing with my mother."

"Good, neither do I." Jax shuts my car off before he gets out and I open the passenger door and start to get out; Well… my legs feel like fluff.

Jax hooks an arm around my back before scooping under my thighs, lifting me from the ground and into his arms.

"I forgot how mean you can be when you're drunk." He jokes.

I snort, "Shouldn't have pissed me off."

"Macie, I didn't mean to hurt you, it all happened at once, but now I know; You should have told me."

"No, I shouldn't have."

"Why?"

"Because you would have fucked your chances of playing. All of you could have gotten in trouble."

"I can still get in trouble Macie, but do you think that matters to me. Angel, I knew about that bet, but I didn't know it was you. "

"I know."

We get to his old room, and he sits me on the bed before he kneels in front of me.

"Jax, I've been here, I've buried this and moved on from it. I don't need to keep living it." My eyes sting with tears as he searches my eyes.

"And I don't want you to."

"Then let it go, and don't ruin what we have started." I beg, I want to move on from this.

I wave my hand with my words, "Let Corey do what he wants, I don't fucking care."

Jax laughs, "Angel, after what you just told me, Corey is not doing fucking shit."

"Jax, please."

"Sorry Angel, not negotiable."

I shake my head before I stand and start pulling at my clothes.

"Let me help you." Jax states as he tries to help me get undressed.

"I don't want your help Jax. I want to go home." I snap.

"Yeah, I know."

I pull my clothes off before I crawl into the bed, pulling the blankets over my head; I'm fucking done.

I feel the dip in the bed as Jax lays beside me and I don't move, I close my eyes and ignore the world.

Fuck this.

NEXT MORNING

I startle awake hearing the sound of my brother's bike start up; His bike is loud and distinct sounding, I know what it sounds like. I look over and see that Jax is gone.

"Damnit!" I jump out of bed, throwing some clothes on before I snatch my keys from the nightstand, I run out the door and get into the garage.

It's early morning, the guys should be at practice, my brother's car is gone.

I jump in the car, and I head to the rink to try and get Jax to see, if he does something stupid, he is throwing his career away, and I can't let him do that. That's why I avoided telling them in the first place. I knew they would go after Corey.

I know a short cut to the rink, that I know Jax will not take on a bike, so I take it. Shifting gears aggressively, most definitely speeding, knowing he is too.

My head shakes with my sighs, I hate this. I didn't want this to happen.

I see Jax coming down the road towards me, almost to the rink, and I press the clutch in and whip my car sideways as I pull the brake, stopping my car sideways; Blocking his path.

The back tire of his motorcycle kicks out as he slides to a stop, and I get out of the car.

He rips his helmet off and growls, "What the fuck Macie! "

He advances me and I curl my lip throwing my hand up, "NO! You listen this time."

He stops and holds his dangerous gaze on me.

"I will not watch you throw your career away. If you get in trouble, you can kiss it goodbye."

"You think that matters to me Macie. He hurt you."

"Yeah, he did, so why are you acting like this?"

"Did you really just ask me that?"

"Jax, I'm not going to fight you, it's either you leave this alone and move on from it like I did, or you can do what you want, but I will not be here to watch it happen."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means, you will have no chance with me if you go after Corey."

"Are you threatening me?"

"No, I'm promising you." I turn and walk away from him, swallowing hard, fighting the tears that want to pour from my eyes, I get back into my car and pull away, leaving him standing there.

I guess we'll find out what he wants more.

I drive to my spot, to see my dad, with tears in my eyes, and the pain I've felt for years swallows me.

I can't take this anymore. Every time I see the light, the darkness works its way back in and takes what I have good. I will not let it happen to me again. I won't let this stop me from doing what I want. I will be at that show next weekend, no matter if I have support, or even someone in the crowd just for me. I will do it, it's my time.

I pull up to my spot and get out and walk over to the ledge, I sit down and stare out into the familiar scenery that I have missed but, haven't.

I love being here, I do, but all I want is to leave. And I am.

Everything plays in my head of the events that happened yesterday, and I feel so betrayed. Right when I start to open my heart, I close it again. Unable to trust, unable to love, unable to feel. Why? Why me.

I don't sit here long. I say my peace that needs to be said with my father before I get up and brush the dirt from my ass and I walk back to my car.

I go home, to get the bag I had brought, hoping to avoid them all; I just don't want to deal with anyone right now. I'll drive myself back. I do not care.

I pull into the driveway, thankfully no one is home, and in a way, I was hoping Jax would be here. I guess he made his choice.

Quickly changing my clothes, I stuff my bag and I'm out the door.

When I get downstairs, I'm met with the glorious mother of mine. That's a joke.

"Sweetheart, are you okay?"

"No Mom, I'm not but you don't get to be here for me now." I drop my gaze from her, and I walk past her.

"Macie stop!" Ignoring her, I just keep walking out the door, straight for my car.

"Where are you going?" I spin around, hearing Jax's voice.

"I'm leaving."

"I see that, where are you going?" He asks with caution in his tone.

"Somewhere I thought was my new home Jax, but" I drop my gaze from him, I can't look at him. I want him, but he hurt me, he broke my trust, he set me up.

"Macie, I'm sorry."

"Yeah, I know you are." I open my car door before I slide into my seat before he kneels beside me.

"I know I fucked up, Angel; I shouldn't have done what I did; I let my own selfish ways get in the way of my judgement. I wanted the truth."

I lift a brow, "Well, you got it Jax, you stole my secret. I'm going to drive myself back. You guys have fun."

"Macie No." He growls and I stare into his eyes, biting back the tears, biting back the want to melt into his arms, I fight it all.

"I'll be alright Jax, I need time alone."

"I can't let you drive all that way alone, Angel."

"Unfortunately, that's not your call to make." I cup his jaw before I lean forward and press a soft kiss to his lips before I pull myself away, "See you soon."

"Macie."

"Jax please, let me go."

Reaching for my door as he stands, and I swear I see tears in his eyes, I know the feeling, but he did this.

I shut my door and look away, avoiding any chance of me changing my mind. I kick my heels off, driving barefoot, I press the clutch in, and start my car, putting her in first, I pull away.

Looking in the review mirror and the tears consume me. Fuck this crying, fuck this sadness bull shit, I've had enough of this, this is why I do me.

And I start my own road trip.