33. Travis

“Because I fell in love with you.” These are the only words I can hear and have to laugh at. She wouldn’t have hidden my mom from me if she loved me. You don’t hide something this big from the person you love.

I watch her sitting on the floor, crying as she takes in a few deep breaths. “I wasn’t going to let him-” She stops talking to catch a breath.

My dad fucked her family, and not in a small way either, and I’ll never be able to tell her I’m sorry or how thankful I am for her mom. No matter what words I say, nothing will bring her family back from what he did to them.

Should I hate her for what she’s done? No, I can’t hate her because I fucking love her.

She did all this for her family, the same way I’m doing it for mine.

“You fell in love with me, then you should have told me about my mom-”

“You’re saying it as if it’s past tense. I do love you, Travis. I love-”

“Then you should have fucking told me!” I shout so hard, it hurts my chest. “You should have fucking told me my mom is alive. The second I knew I wanted to be with you, I was there giving you everything, and if I knew your brother was still alive, I would have fucking told you. Because if you love someone-” I stop and pace my room because my rage is getting out of control. I punch the wall beside the door hard enough to break the plaster. I say, taking a deep breath and turning around. “You love someone; you don’t want to hurt them.”

“I’m sor…sorry-”

“I don’t want you to fucking apologize to me. You’re family has been doing it to a fucking Parker too many times, and you’re not following in the same direction. Never fucking say sorry to me.” Fucking hell, I’m getting pissed off because I’m making her say sorry, the same as my dad did to her mom. Fuck! I shout to myself, what the fuck is happening to me.

“Travis-” she stops when there is a knock on the door.

“Yeah!” I shout.

Blake opens the door and pops his head in. He is not even looking at Bea; he’s facing me. “We’ve got something, leaving as soon as you get downstairs.” Not waiting for me to reply, he shuts the door and leaves.

“I’m hurt; the woman I love couldn’t give me the one thing I’ve wanted since I was a little child, my mom. I’m angry because the woman I love hid this from me. If only she had told me, I could have saved my mom sooner, but-” I stop and shake my head, looking up at the ceiling. “Go have a shower. I’m out.” Leaving the bedroom and not looking over at her again because there is nothing else to say to her.

There is only one thing I’m thinking about at the moment, and that’s finding my mom. She’s out there, and I’m going to see her. Bea, I don’t know what I’m doing there yet.

I don’t know if I should keep her close to me and hate her for doing this or let her go so we can both not feel hurt.

Blake is telling August something about the door, but I leave the house to meet Logan by the car. Once we lock the doors, no one can come in. The door will only open from the inside, so my dad can’t get close to Bea as long as they don’t open it.

“We found a guy your dad sent a lot of fucking money to years and years ago. We looked into him, and he’s been sending money to a hospital. It’s five minutes out of town,” Logan tells me as I lean on the car, rubbing my head. “You good?”

“What the hell is good?” I ask because I don’t even know what that feels like anymore. The last week has been a mind fuck of events. I can’t even remember what a good sleep feels like, either.

“How is Bea?” Logan looks at Blake as he makes his way down to us.

“Fine.” I don’t even know how to answer the question. Because I’ve not even asked how she is feeling, what an asshole I am.

“Let’s go, are you ready?” Blake pats my back, and I don’t reply because I have no idea if I’m ready for what we might find. Is she going to know who I am or who she is? She’s been in the for so many years, fuck knows what it’s done to her.

I sit in the back and ignore the conversation they are having in front of me, but I look down at my phone when it vibrates in my hand.

Firecracker - I’m sorry.

I don’t reply because, at the moment, there is nothing to say. My worry is with my mom, and I wonder if we are going to find her here.

“You know we never get involved with each other when it comes to our girls, but is she okay? She’s been through-”

“She’s fine.” I feel Blake looking at me through the rearview mirror. “She’s tired and wants everything to return to normal,” I tell them both.

I know the only reason they’re asking is because Bea has been through a lot and almost died the same way her brother did. She did die, and her body fought to live. Even now, I see her shaking, or I see her fighting for air, scared she’s back in the water.

Blake and Logan don’t say anything, but they haven’t spoken to me much about anything. They feel like I’m shutting them out, but now I want time to think.

“Are you coming back to practice?” Logan asks.

“Next week,” I reply. And that’s only if the coach lets me back on the team after how I spoke to him. There was no way I was going to leave Bea in the hospital by herself.

I love hockey; it’s my game. I need to let out my frustration; it’s something I need to help free my mind, but I also know after college, I have no plans to play unless it’s for fun with my friends.

If anyone is going to make it Pro, it would be Logan; Blake thinks it’s him, but the guy loves fighting too much. Logan is good, but he is a lot better than he thinks. I’ve always wanted to have my own business with Blake and Logan. We have the fight club, and once we get rid of our dads, we plan on opening a car garage where the hotel used to be.

I enjoy ripping up things, and putting them together. Once everything is in place, I’ll have my dream business with my brothers.

“You spoke to coach?” Blake chuckles, and I show him the bird.

“I will. How much further?” I ask, feeling nervous about where we’re going and wiping the sweat on my hands against my jeans. Am I about to get my mom back?

“Two minutes, got the paperwork too,” Logan tells me.

We know these places won’t believe a word we say, and knowing my dad, he has this place under his lock, one way or the other. The second we walk in there, someone will call my dad, so we need to make sure we get talking fast.

We’ve brought her death certificate to prove she is dead, and Logan got a written letter from the funeral director where mom is meant to be buried. They will have all the proof they need, so nothing is stopping me from seeing her.

Fuck, I might see my mom in a few minutes. I close my eyes, taking a deep breath as Blake parks the car. I feel the car park, but I don’t open my eyes, wanting to prepare myself for what’s about to happen. I take a few deep breaths, then get out of the car.

Ignoring the woman at the front desk, we walk towards the manager’s office because we know we don’t have time on our side. One call to my dad, then we lose.

“Hello-” I hear Blake behind me. There is only one person who will call him now, and that’s August. You two carry on; I’ll catch up.” He looks over at Logan, who nods, and we carry on down the corridor.

He knocks on the door and walks into the office. The woman behind the desk looks up at us as we sit down in front of her, and Logan pulls the phone closer to him.

“Mrs-” I look at the name block on her desk. “-Sanders, I don’t want any trouble, I don’t even want to argue with you. We think you have a patient here-” I stop when Blake walks into the office. “Cara Parker. She’s my mom, but my sick dad told me she’s dead.” I slide over the death certificate and the funeral director’s letter and gave her a moment to read through it. “My dad is an abusive, dangerous asshole, who told me my mom has been dead since I was a little child, and only this week found out she’s still alive-” I stop talking when she puts her hand up, then taps her pen on the desk looking between the three of us. It feels like hours before she says anything to us, so I stand up and do the only thing I can think of; she looks like a woman who will feel when someone is not lying to her.

“Mrs. Sander, I’m a boy who never had his mom growing up because my dad said she died. Whenever I asked about my mom, something small like her favorite color, he would beat me-” I stop and take my t-shirt off so she can see I’m not lying. I turn around to show her my back and hear her gasp. “-A metal pole, and he wouldn’t stop until I learned not to talk about her.” Turning to face her, she locks her eyes with me. “All I want is my mom back, to tell me everything will be okay,” I choke out the last words, even though I’m trying to keep it together, but knowing my mom is in this building, I’m not holding it together.

Mrs. Sanders taps on her computer, moves the mouse around, and then shakes her head. “How old are you?” she asks me. What the fuck has my age got to do with anything? If she’s here, I’m taking her home. I put my T-shirt back on before answering her.

“I’ll be twenty-one.” She continues to tap before turning her body to face me, her fingers interlocking.

“There is no talk about a patient on the system and no visitors. She left the building with a nurse and made a few phone calls that lasted only a few seconds. All calls are locked, and every time they leave the building with a member of staff-”

“Do you know the number she is calling?” Has it been my mom who’s been calling me the whole time? “Can you call the number, please?” She licks her lips, and I don’t know what she is thinking, but picks up her phone, and dials the number.

My heart drops when my phone starts ringing in my pocket, and I shake my head. Taking my phone out of my pocket, I place it on the table. “It was her,” I whisper, holding back the tears that I’m fighting hard to stop. It was mom.”

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up. We thought it was your dad playing mind games. We didn’t think it was Aunt Cara,” Logan pats my back, but I shake my head.

“Can I se-” I choke on the word, because I’m so scared to see her. “Can I see her?” Blake looks through the rest of the paperwork and slides one over to her.

“Birth certificate and I picture of her with him.” Blake taps on the paper for her to look down on it, and she finally does.

“She has been here for a while, and before I took over a few years ago, she was on some very strong tablets. Tablets she never needed to be on, and giving someone any tablets which are for a mental disorder it’s not good-”

“Is my mom crazy?” I ask her, because I need to know how my life will change. But I don’t care, as long as my mom is with me.

“No, she never was. But the medicine over the years has taken a toll on her; being in the white room with nothing and no one to talk to, it’s a lot.” She licks her lips and pulls the birth certificate closer to her. “Your dad had her put in here, and I still don’t know why, but I couldn’t let her leave because there was no one to look after her, which is something she’s going to need for a while.”

“And I’ll do it; she’s my mom,” I tell her. There is no way I will let her leave my sight ever again. “You tell me what she needs, and I’ll do it, but she’s leaving-”

“No!” she snaps, which makes me laugh.

“The second my dad knows I was here, he will take her and hide her, or even worse. He will kill her, and I’m not risking that, so she leaves with me, or you have three new patients. Take your pick.” None of us will leave this place without her, so she might as well know how serious we are now.

“She needs to take her medicine on time; I will want to see her once a week; you have to keep in mind she will not be the woman she-”

“Mrs. Sander, I don’t remember anything about my mom. All I know is stories my sister told me.” I know this place will have changed her; I know she won’t even know who I am, but I’m here for her. “Logan, can you call Aunt Lizzie? Mom knows her.” He gives me a nod, turning to the woman. “Being here, she’s in danger, not just from the mental part of it, but from my dad, too. She’s safe with me.”

“You call me every day to tell me she is okay. Call me anytime if you need advice or help.” She stands up, and the three of us leave the office. “I want your address and proof of the address.” Before she can finish the sentence, I pull out my driving license for her; she takes it from me.

I stop in my tracks, taking in a few deep breaths. Making them all stop and turn to face me, but I can’t breathe.

“Travis?” I hear Logan, but I put my hands on my knees, bending a little to get my breathing under control because fuck is it hurting to breathe right now. “Hey, we’re here with you.” Logan pats my back, letting me know I’m not alone in this, and I knew I wasn’t, but right now, why does it feel like I am?

“You good, man?” I hear Blake, and I take a deep breath in, stand up straight, and give them both a nod. But they both know me better than that. They know I’m not good, and if I’m going to break down, it’s them I need next to me. “We’re here.”

We all turn to Mrs. Sanders, who stares at me for a moment before giving me a smile—and it’s not a symphony one, either. This one feels like she’s happy for my mom and me; she’s happy we’re both getting the family we want.

We walk through the door once she swipes her card, then another set, until we reach a large room with a lot of people. I only know my mom from pictures; how much has this place changed her? Will I even recognize her?

Looking around, Mrs. Sanders points to the woman with her back to us sitting at the piano, playing music.

Now, my body begins to shake, and I can’t seem to move. “What if she doesn’t know who I am?” I ask myself more, but the guys are standing next to me.

“She will know who you are,” Logan is the one to answer.

I continue to watch her play the piano, trying to figure out which song she’s playing because, for some crazy reason, I’m still unable to move towards her.

“She plays that song all the time. When I ask her why, she replies, ‘It makes me happy.’ Do you know the song?’ Mrs. Sanders asks me, and I shake my head.

“It sounds familiar.” What is this song? “Tessa used to listen to it, but I can’t remember the name of it.”

“Angels, by the British guy. August listens to it.” Blake, let me know.

I walk toward Mom, feeling my legs shake with each step. I stop by the piano, sit down next to her, and start playing with her. Mom turns to face me to see who is playing with her.

“Hello, mom.” I stop playing and turn to face her. “He…llo, Mom,” I stutter. Mom continues to play the piano, but her body tenses up and shakes her head.

“You’re not real. You’re not real.” Mom repeats a few times, her voice low but broken.

My mom is broken, and I’m not sure I’m strong enough to fix her when I’m broke myself.

“Mom-”

“I don’t want to go back to the room. I don’t want the injection.” She shouts loud enough for everyone in the room to hear her, but I focus on her and the music she’s playing.

I have a lot of questions about what things have been done to my mom. Getting my phone out, I send a quick message to the guys.

Travis

Get all the paperwork on mom.

Logan

Already done.

“Mom-”

“You’re not real.” Now I hear the sobs as she begins playing faster, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do for the first time in my life. I’ve found my mom, but I’m losing her at the same time.

I slowly bring my hand up and see it shaking; shit, I didn’t realize it was shaking so much. There is only one way she will believe I’m here.

I softly place my hand on hers. “I’m real, mom,” I whisper as she stops playing. “I’m here.”

She slowly turns to face me, eyes full of tears as they lock with mine. My mom places her hands on my cheeks.

“Travis?”

“It’s me, Mom” I quickly place my hands on her and she burst out in tears, pulling me in for a hug, then pushing me away to look at me again and then a hug. She repeats this a few times, and I don’t stop her, because she needs to feel I’m real, then I’m going to let her.

“I knew you’d find me-” She gets off a stall and moves around as if looking for someone. Quickly sitting back there, she cups my face, and I wipe her tears away as I try to hold mine back, which is getting a lot harder. “-Is it you?” Her voice breaks, and all I can do is smile and nod.

Again, she looks around for someone. Who is she looking for?

Mom gets up and runs to the other side. I slowly get off the stool and watch her hug one of the staff members, pulling him towards me. Blake and Logan stand next to me.

“It’s him. It’s my baby,” she tells the guy, and he smiles. “I knew he was there. You believed me,” she tells him and then pulls me closer to them both.

“Travis?” he questions, and I nod; he smiles and tilts me to follow him.

“Mom, I’ll be right back-”

“No, I’ll lose you again. You can’t—” She cupped her face to stop panicking.

“Never lose me again. Remember Blake and Logan?” I ask, and they both get closer to me. They will be right here with you. I promise you will never lose me again.”

Mom leans her forehead against mine. “Promise?” The question comes out hurt and sobbing.

“Promise.”

No one is taking her from me; no one is even touching her. I glance over at the guys, and they nod.

“My name is Michael. Your mom’s been making me take her out every day since college started, hoping to see her son—” he stops and sits at the table so I can still see Mom. “It took a lot for me to be able to get her out. Before Doctor Sander came, she was on a lot of medication, which wasn’t needed. No matter what I said to them, no one believed me.” He stops and looks over at my mom.

What the fuck did my dad do to her?

“She’s not one hundred percent, and if I’m honest, I don’t even think she’ll be close to one hundred percent for a while-” He looks over at Mom again. “She’s not even fifty percent at the minute. But something clicked in her head a few years ago. She remembered she had babies and had to find them. It took a lot of hard work for me to get her out. I don’t know why, but I believed her; I knew she didn’t need to be here. So I was going to help her.”

“How did you get her out?” I ask.

“I told Doctor Sander she needs fresh air. I will take full responsibility for her; I won’t let anyone near her. I won’t let her out of my sight; an hour a day, that’s all I need with her. Dr Sander finally agreed, and I asked her where she wanted to go, and she kept saying the college. My son will be there-” he lets a little chuckle, looking at me. “You know how hard it is to find someone when you don’t know what they look like. All I’m going to say is your mom’s a wonderful woman, and your dad played games with her in more ways than I want to admit. I hope she gets what she wants: her family.”

How can I thank the man who has helped my mom? “What do I have to do to say thank you?”

“I hope she gets her happy ending,” Michael whispers to himself.

One thing I do know is that I’m not in this alone. I have my brothers to help me figure everything out. I have a family, so I have to let Mom adjust to this new life at her own pace.