Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

S eeing Montana break down the way she did broke me nearly as much. I fucking can't wait to get my hands on the fucker who did that to her. The guttural sound of her sobs tore at my heart. I have to find a way to get through to her. She needs help. But before that happens, she has to be willing to admit there's a problem.

Why is she refusing to acknowledge what we both know?

Fuck, her body is covered in bruises. I knew she was beaten badly—looking at her face told me as much. But I had no idea how bad it was until she stepped out of the tub and I saw all the marks on her torso. I've had my fair share of bruises. I'm a fucking hockey player, but that shit that was done to her… I'm surprised she's even up and moving around.

After getting changed, I head downstairs. I pass the living room and an idea comes to mind.

The blanket fort will protect our secrets, Luke. No one can touch them once they're locked in here .

Her innocent childhood words replay in my head. It's worth a shot.

Running back upstairs, I grab a handful of blankets out of the linen closet and drop them in the living room before shifting the furniture into position. Then I go about building the ultimate blanket fort. Once I'm satisfied with my limited architectural abilities, I grab the fur rug from over by the fireplace and set it in the middle. I scatter some pillows around and take one of the throw blankets from the sofa and lay it out. I stand back and admire my handiwork.

Not bad, but it needs something else…

I head into the garage and dig around in a box of Christmas decorations Aliyah made me put up the year I moved in. I find some string lights, head back inside, and drape them around the top of the fort before plugging them in and lighting them up.

Happy with the result, I flick off the room's recessed lighting, close the blinds, and watch the little bulbs twinkle. Then I go into the kitchen and make a quick charcuterie board. I know Montana's not going to eat a full meal, but maybe she'll pick at something smaller. I grab two bottles of water and the wooden board now full of meats, cheeses, crackers, and fruits. And place everything in the middle of the fort. Now, the only thing I'm missing is the girl.

I find Montana in the guest room. She's folding the clothes that are piled high on the bed next to the empty bags. Aliyah likes to shop.

"Hey, come with me for a sec. I wanna show you something." I stand by the door, watching Montana limp from the bed over to one of the dressers.

"I should have put this away. It's a mess. I'm sorry," she says.

"It's not a mess, and you can leave it, Tanna. Come on, this won't take long." I hold out a hand to her, hoping she'll take it.

"Are you sure?" she asks, her brows drawn down as she stares at the pile in front of her.

"Positive. Come on. I'll help you sort this all out later."

Montana walks over to me, her steps tentative and clearly pained. She's changed into a pair of shorts and a band shirt with her hair piled up on her head. Even covered in bruises, she's still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. She places her hand in mine and follows me downstairs. I stop on the threshold of the living room and Montana gasps.

"What did you do?" she asks.

"I built us a fort. Come on." I lead her inside and sit down in the middle. Montana sits across from me, her eyes wide and searching. There's a hint of the old Montana behind the pain and sadness I see there.

"You used to annoy Sean and me, asking us over and over again to build these for you when we were kids. You used to love them," I remind her.

"I remember," she says.

"The blanket fort will protect our secrets, Luke. No one can touch them once they're locked in here," I recite her own words back to her .

"That was something said by a child who wanted to believe."

"No. It's true. This fort will protect our secrets, Tanna. And we're going to spill them all. The only people who can hear them are you, me… and the fort."

"I don't know…" she starts, already shaking her head.

I pick up one of the waters, twist off the cap, and hand the bottle to her. "I'll go first." I pull my shirt over my head and point at her name on my ribs. "On the night of Sean's funeral, I went to the tattoo parlor with every intention of getting something to memorialize him. When I sat in the chair, though, that's not what I asked for. I asked for your name. I wanted you to be with me in some small way. I didn't just lose Sean that day. I lost you too, and as much as I hate admitting it, I think losing you hurt more in the end."

Montana stares at me, at her name on my skin. "I… I didn't die, Luke. I was right there. You chose to walk away."

"You're right. I did. And I chose wrong. I never should have walked away from you. I thought I was doing the right thing. By you, by Sean."

Montana sips at the water and then sets the bottle on the rug. She closes her eyes and opens her mouth. "I… I met Andrew three years ago…"

I reach over and grip her shaky hands. I don't say anything. I just wait for her to continue.

"It was good, during those first few months. I thought I'd found someone who loved me. Who wasn't going to just leave. Everyone always leaves me."

She pauses and a knife stabs right through my chest. I fucking left. I'm part of that everyone .

"And Andrew never did leave. He… I don't know what happened, but the change was gradual. Over time, you know. He'd have these sudden outbursts if I did something wrong, or broke one of his rules. I tried to be what he needed. I really did. But I'm just like them, my mom, Sean… I'm too selfish to be any good for anyone else."

I want to stop her. Tell her that's a load of bullshit. That she's not selfish. She's perfect the way she is. But I bite down on my tongue, too afraid if I stop her now, she won't keep going.

"The first time he hit me, it wasn't that bad. He promised it was an accident and I wanted to believe him. I really thought he would change. Then I would think to myself… at least he hasn't left me. If he's staying, then I owe it to him to try harder. "

"What happened the other night?"

"I was supposed to drop out of school. I told him that I'd already done it, but I was still studying online whenever he wasn't home. Then I got too preoccupied with one of my exams and forgot to make dinner… And he found my textbooks."

That motherfucker put her in the hospital because she was fucking studying. A red haze clouds my vision, and it takes everything I have to keep my fists from clenching. To keep my ass planted on the floor.

"You know that's not love, right?" I ask her, instead of reacting outwardly.

"I know. But he stayed, Luke. No one else stays," she whispers.

"I'm sorry I left, Tanna. You have no idea how sorry I am," I tell her. "But I promise you I'm never leaving again. I will always be here for you."

She smiles, but I can tell she doesn't believe me. And that's fine. I don't blame her. It just gives me more of a reason to prove it.

"Where is he now? You think he's looking for you?"

Montana shakes her head. "Not yet anyway. He won't look for me until he's sure I've recovered. He always keeps his distance after… "

Her words trail off, and I just want to shout: After he fucking beats you black and blue?

"You can't go back there, Tanna. I can have all of your things picked up. I can help you transfer schools but you're staying in Vancouver. If you don't want to live here, with me, I'll get you your own place. But you can't go back."

"I can't ask you to do that for me, Luke. He might not be looking for me now, but if I'm not there when he comes home, he will look for me and it'll just be worse."

"No one is getting in this house. You're safe here. And if he wants to get to you again, he'll have to come through me first."

"That's exactly what I'm afraid of. I don't want you to get hurt. I don't want this to impact you, your career…"

"It's too late for any of that. Seeing you like this fucking hurts me. Like nothing I've ever felt before. But knowing that I could have prevented it fucking tears me apart, Tanna."

"It's not your fault," she says. I know I didn't do this to her, not directly, but me leaving fucked with her head. That's all on me.

I lie down on the rug, propping my head on one of the cushions. "Come look at the stars with me. "

Montana curls up on her side before one of her hands reaches out and grabs hold of mine. "Since we're spilling secrets, I told the girls at school you had crabs your senior year."

"That was you?" I laugh at the memory of being eighteen and trying to figure out why I'd suddenly become girl repellent. "Why?"

"Because I was jealous. I had the biggest crush on you and you didn't see me as anything but a little sister."

"You're wrong. I never saw you as a little sister. I've always been in love with you, Tanna. I've always seen you as the most beautiful girl in the room." I turn my head to face her.

"Not so beautiful right now," she whispers.

"Nothing could ever take away from your beauty."

We lie here staring at each other silently. I want to reach over and kiss her, but I don't.

"When you were in ninth grade and that kid—shit, what was his name…? Hunter Something-or-Other asked you to prom, I threatened to break his knees if he didn't dump you," I admit aloud for the first time to anyone.

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to take you myself." I shrug.

"And I refused to go because I was humiliated after being dumped." She sighs.

Montana fell asleep inside the fort about an hour ago. I picked up the uneaten food and threw it away before I grabbed a beer from the fridge. I had a shit-ton of messages from the guys that I needed to reply to.

Now, I'm sitting on the back porch, wondering how the fuck I'm supposed to help this girl, and what I'm going to do when I have to travel out of town next week. I can't leave Montana here alone. Especially knowing some psycho is out there looking for her. Or will be.

I decide to send Aliyah a message.

Me:

We have an away game next week. Any chance you can find an excuse to stay at my place? I don't want to leave Montana here alone.

She responds right away.

Lia:

Of course. I'll be there.

Me:

Thank you.

The back door slides open and I pocket my phone when Montana fills the space.

"Hey, you fell asleep," I state the obvious.

"You should have woken me up." She takes a step forward and rubs at her arms. "It's freezing out here. Why are you outside?"

"It's not that cold." I laugh. But stand up, take her hand, and walk into the house before closing the door behind us. "It's time to eat. What do you feel like having?"

"I'm really not that hungry."

"Okay, well, I'm eating, and you're helping me." I lead Montana into the kitchen and sit her on one of the stools. "Watch. I think you'll be amazed by my culinary skills."