Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

I wake to an empty bed. It's been the same every day since coming here. I always start off sleeping in the guest room. Then I have a nightmare, and Luke picks me up and puts me in his bed. Where I fall back asleep holding his hand.

He's always gone in the morning. He has hockey practice every day. He's played two home games too. I didn't go to either, but I have watched him on the huge screen that he has mounted on the wall in the living room. The Knights won both times. I expected Luke to be out celebrating with his teammates, but he surprised me by coming home. Claiming that he'd rather celebrate with me than anyone else.

I don't know how to take his attention at times. I have, however, managed to fall into somewhat of a routine over the last week. As soon as he's finished practice in the mornings, he's here with me. We've talked a lot, he's cooked a lot, and I've tried to pretend like I'm fine. I want to be fine. But, on the inside, the truth is I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm constantly on edge. That feeling of being in the calm before the storm is strong. I don't want to be a doomsayer, but it's hard not to be.

When I walk around this massive house, I wonder why he has such a big place when it's only him who lives here. And how he keeps it so tidy, I have no idea. I'm guessing he has cleaners, but I've never seen any.

After a few more minutes of thinking about things, I finally get up and head straight for the bathroom before beginning my routine of showering, dressing, and making both beds. I look at myself in the mirror, inspecting my now yellowing bruises. I wish I had some makeup, but I don't want to ask Luke to get it for me. He's already spent so much money on buying me clothes.

I don't really know what's happening between Luke and me. If anything is happening at all. I feel like I'm getting very mixed signals from him. Other than holding my hand and telling me that he loves me, he hasn't tried anything else. Which I'm grateful for, because I honestly don't think I'm ready. I know I'm not going back to Andrew. What I don't know is where I'm going to go or what I'm going to do… I just need some time to formulate a plan. I need to disappear. Become someone new, so he can't ever find me. Because I know he will look, and I don't think he'll leave me alive when he does.

I caved yesterday and told Luke I'd talk to someone, a professional, in hopes that they can help with the nightmares. I don't know what talking about my problems will achieve, but Luke seems to think it's a great idea. He's arranging to have someone come to the house, so I don't need to leave. I'm not ready to face the public, especially when I still look like I went ten rounds with Rocky.

After I brush my hair and tie it up into a messy bun on top of my head, I make my way downstairs, grab the plate of fruit out of the fridge that Luke leaves me every morning, and go to the theater room. I switch on the Bravo channel and mindlessly watch reality TV. I don't know what else to do to pass the time.

Before I know it, Luke is falling into the seat next to me. "Hey."

"How was practice?" I ask him.

"It was good," he says. "I… ah… I have an away game tomorrow night. I have to leave in the morning."

"Okay." I nod. I know this. "Do you want me to go home?" I don't know where home is anymore, but if he wants me out, I'll leave. He's been more than accommodating. It would be selfish to ask for anything more.

"Tanna, this is your home now. I don't want you to leave."

"How long will you be gone?"

"Two days. You could come with me," he offers. "I can get you your own hotel room."

"I don't think I should go with you."

"Okay. Then stay here, and I'll be back before you know it."

Two days is a long time to sit around in this huge house by myself. But that's okay. I can do it. At least I'm safe. No one would think to look for me here.

"I'm going to have a few security guards stationed in the front and back of the house while I'm gone. You might see them walking around. They won't come inside, though," Luke says.

"Why?"

"Because I need to know that you're safe. I need to do whatever I can to protect you, Tanna."

"Where are you getting security guards from?"

"Ah… they work for Gray's family."

My eyes widen. It's no secret what Gray's family does for a living. And I don't mean the part about them owning a hockey team. "Mobsters?" I raise a questioning eyebrow.

"They're good at what they do, and I trust Grayson. He's not going to send over anyone he hasn't vetted."

"They won't come inside?"

"No."

"Okay." I sigh. "I really don't want you to go to so much trouble for me, Luke."

"Tanna, it's not even a little bit of trouble. Besides, I want to look after you. You deserve the fucking world, and I'm going to be the one to give it to you," he says. "But first, I got you something."

"What?"

Reaching into a bag, which I didn't even notice was there by his feet, Luke pulls out a white box with an Apple symbol on it.

"You got me a MacBook?" I ask him.

"I did. But if you don't like this one, we can return it and get something else."

"Why? I mean, it's amazing. But why do I need a computer?"

"So you can keep taking your online classes. I've also set up an account with a bookstore. I want you to order any textbooks you need and have them delivered to the house."

"You want me to study?" I whisper. I'm not supposed to study.

"I want you to do whatever makes you happy, Tanna. I remember how excited you were when you first started taking classes. I remember how much you love math."

"I don't even know if I'm still enrolled. I mean… I think Andrew would have done whatever he could to withdraw me."

"Then we will have your transcripts sent here. Find you somewhere local to go," Luke says it like it's that easy. "Why don't you log in and find out? Change all of your passwords as soon as you are able."

"Okay. I can do that." I look at the box and then back up at him. "Thank you. I think this is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me."

Luke smirks. "Then I need to up my game, because it's just a computer, babe."

My heart does a little flip at the endearment. I'm sure it doesn't mean anything. But to me? Well, it does things to me that I don't want to acknowledge right now.