Chapter 34

Chapter Thirty-Four

I followed Montana upstairs and found her on the top landing with her body flush against the wall. Her eyes were closed and she was screaming, saying she was sorry over and over again.

I hope that Gray's brother finds the fucker alive. Andrew. If that was his twin I killed today, then that means I get to kill the sick son of a bitch all over again. And I fucking want to.

I'm holding my wife in my arms while she clings to me as if I'm the only thing keeping her together. I'll sit right here holding her for as long as she needs me to do it. I'm not going anywhere. "I'm always going to love you, Tanna. I'm sorry I can't make it all go away for you," I tell her.

"You… I love you," she says through choked sobs. "I'm sorry."

"No. Don't say that to me. You have nothing to apologize for."

"I'm sorry that I'm so broken. You deserve a better wife than what's left of me."

"There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. There is nothing that you ever have to apologize for. You are not broken, Montana. You are the picture-perfect, beautiful soul I've known and loved forever. You, Mrs. Jameson, are fucking amazing. I want you, all of you, the good and the bad. This, us, it's real, Tanna. There isn't a single bit of you that I'm not in love with."

We sit quietly for at least thirty minutes before Montana picks up her head. Her tears have slowed and eventually stop. I bring my thumbs up and wipe the wetness from her cheeks .

"It breaks my heart that I can't take away all of your pain," I whisper.

Montana stares at my hands. She doesn't say a word.

"What brought this on? Did I say something? Do something?"

She shakes her head. "I was going to ask you something… and then." She pauses, then adds, "I'm not supposed to ask, because it's none of my business."

"I'm your husband, Montana. That makes everything I do your business. There isn't anything you can't ask me. I will always tell you."

"You won't get mad?"

"There isn't enough anger I could ever feel that would make me hurt you. I will never do that to you, Tanna." I know I've said it before. I also know that she believes it. Sometimes I think she needs to hear it again, though.

"Where did you go? Why do your hands look like you've been hitting something?" She glances at my fists before peering up at me again.

"Gray called me this morning. His brother found Andrew."

At the mention of his name, Montana's eyes widen .

"Except, now, we're not so sure that guy was Andrew. We found this in his wallet." I pull the picture out of my pocket, even though it's the last thing I want to do. I don't want her to ever have to see this fucker's face again. The face of her abuser.

"There're two of him?" she gasps.

"Did you know he was a twin?" I ask her.

"No, he told me he was an only child. That his parents died when he was a kid."

It doesn't surprise me that the asshole lied to her. "I want to run away. I want to take you away from here. Somewhere no one will ever be able to find us," I admit.

"I've had this dream," she tells me.

"Oh yeah? What's in this dream?"

"You. You're skating with a little girl, our little girl." She smiles at me. "And then you have our son in your arms. I want that dream to become our reality, Luke. We can't run away just because things are… hard right now. It's going to get better."

"I want that dream too," I tell her.

"What happened to him? Andrew or was it his twin?"

"I… I made sure that whoever it was could never hurt you again."

"I'm sorry you had to do that. "

"I'm not." And I mean that. I'd do it all over again and I will. Just as soon as we find his brother. "How about we do something fun?" I say, attempting to change the subject.

"Fun? Like what?"

"I have an idea. Come on." I push up from the bed and place Montana's feet on the ground. Then I take her hand in mine and lead her downstairs and into the garage.

"Where are we going? Shouldn't I get changed or something?" Montana asks.

"You look beautiful. You don't need to change for what we're doing." I open the passenger door of my Rover and wait for her to jump inside before sliding into the driver's seat. Then I turn on the ignition and look over to Montana. She really is the most beautiful person in the world. And she's my wife. I will never stop being thankful for that.

An hour later, I pull the car into a lot. "Where are we?" Montana asks, looking out the windshield.

"Shannon Falls. I used to come here a lot when I first moved to Vancouver." I climb out of the car and Montana is already stepping down by the time I reach her.

Taking her hand in mine, I lead her over to the walking track. Once we're on the platform, I guide her to sit down. It's surprisingly quiet here. It's a major tourist spot, but today we're practically the only ones here. The water cascades down in front of us.

"I used to come here to quiet the noise in my head," I say. "I would sit and think about the good times, with Sean, with you." I wrap my arm around her waist and kiss her temple. "We have a lifetime of great memories ahead of us, Tanna."

"We do," she agrees.

"What's your favorite moment in time?" I ask her.

"The day I married you." Montana smiles at me.

"Huh, mine too. But before that, what's your favorite memory of Sean?"

"It's… embarrassing." She shakes her head and stares at her shoes.

"I doubt that. Tell me anyway," I encourage her.

"When I got my period, I didn't have a mom anymore. Girls are supposed to have a mom to talk to about that sort of thing. Dad didn't know what to do. But Sean… He went to the store. He got me everything I needed. He talked to me about it and didn't make me feel weird, you know? Like I said, it's embarrassing."

"I remember that." Sean called me in a panic, and I was the one who told him what he needed to do. What to say to her. I'm not going to tell her that, though. I'm not taking that memory of her brother away from her. Because the important thing is he did it. He went to the store. He bought her the things she needed and he spent hours talking to her that day.

"How do you remember?" Montana asks.

"I called him, to hang out, and he blew me off." I shrug.

"I think Sean was the only person who loved me. My entire life, he was the one person I knew would love me no matter what. And then, when he left, I was just… alone."

I fucking hate myself for leaving her after Sean died. I wanted to be there for her. I just didn't want to break the promise I made to my best friend. I didn't want to tarnish his memory by going after his little sister. I should never have made that stupid promise in the first place. I was sixteen when I made it. I think Sean always knew I had a thing for Tanna. He made damn sure I never acted on it, though.

But I can't dwell on the past anymore. This place. This is where I come to remember the good, not the bad.

"You know, when the bad memories get a hold of you, try to think about the good times," I tell Montana. "I'm not saying it'll help, but it might."

"I thought they went away. I haven't had a nightmare or a memory like that in a while, and I just… I guess I hoped I was fixed," she says. "Today made me realize I'm probably never going to be fixed."

"You can't be fixed, Montana. Because like I said before and will repeat until you believe it too, you're not broken."

"I don't even know where the grocery store is, Luke. I don't know where to buy your snacks and I think Liam actually did eat them all." She looks as if she's put a lot of thought into this.

"It's okay. It's not that serious, Tanna. I can buy more snacks."

"But I'm your wife. I'm supposed to do things like that."

"Buy me snacks?" I raise an eyebrow at her. "I'm pretty sure, as my wife, you're supposed to be my snack."

Her face heats up and red creeps its way along her neck. "I… I want to do stuff. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"You want to go grocery shopping? Let's go. I'll take you right now," I tell her .

"Can you even go into a store without being recognized?

"I can." I push to my feet, hold out a hand, and help Montana stand. I flinch when I see the twinge of pain on her face. "Fuck, I shouldn't have made you sit on the ground," I tell her.

"It's okay. I'm fine. Let's go replace your snacks. I know how you get when your hangry, and nobody needs that monster around." She laughs.

"But I have a never-ending supply of my favorite snack right now, so I'm good."

"A never-ending supply?"

"You, Montana. You're my favorite snack," I remind her.

"Well, you know… if you want, we can skip shopping and just go home? Maybe… snack in bed?"

My eyes rake up and down her body. I would love nothing more than to slam my dick inside her. But I can't. Not when she has a stomach full of stitches.

"I have a better idea." I grin as I take Montana's hand and lead her back to the car.