21

Christina

The next day, I woke up and showered, bought a coffee on my way to work, and sat at my desk for the first three hours without so much as a hello to anyone. Nikole came to ask me how I was feeling, but my one-word answer was enough to keep her away for the rest of the morning. She knew me well and knew when it was best to keep her distance.

I wasn't easy to deal with and I knew people often thought me rude or abrasive. I rarely cared what they thought, but today, I found myself walking over to Nikole's office just before lunch.

"Hey, Nikole, want to go grab something to eat?"

She looked up from her laptop, her hands still in her hair, and sighed. "I wish. I've got a ton of research to go through before my trial starts tomorrow. I'll have to take a rain check."

"Yeah, no problem. I get it. Good luck tomorrow."

"Thanks," she said, dropping her gaze back to her laptop.

I thought about buying lunch and bringing it back to the staff room, but I was in no mood to listen to another of Alicia's nail sagas. God only knows what would come out of my mouth today.

But I didn't want to be alone. I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck, thinking about how my date ended last night.

I wanted to talk to someone about what was happening with Will. I thought Nikole would be the best person because she knew us both, but there was someone else who could help. Someone I'd relied on nearly my whole life.

On my way to her office, I picked up Gabby's favorite food, pizza with extra pepperoni. The smell of spicy meat made my stomach growl as I walked up to her door. "Knock, knock," I said and stuck my head inside.

Gabby's eyes lit up when she saw me—or was it the pizza? Either way, her smile improved my dark mood. "Hey, can you take a break for lunch?"

I hadn't called, not wanting to be turned away. I figured she had to eat.

"Yes, yes. Come in." Gabby waved me over and slid some yellow file folders to the side to make room for the pizza. "Mmm… that smells delicious."

"My stomach has been growling for at least the last two blocks," I said, setting the box down and handing Gabby a paper plate and napkin.

"Thank you," she said and took a big bite of the cheesy dough. She closed her eyes and moaned.

Chuckling, I picked up a slice and sunk my teeth into it. The spicy flavors mixed with the warm cheese were the perfect combination of comfort. I leaned back in my seat and sighed as I chewed. Gabby smiled at me. "So, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"What do you mean? Can't I buy my friend a pizza without you thinking something's up?"

She looked up at the ceiling and pressed down on her lips. "Mmm… nope, I don't think you can."

She grinned widely before taking another big bite from her slice.

Chewing slowly, I waited until there was nothing left in my mouth before answering. "Well, maybe there's something, but I think I need at least two slices of pizza in me before I can get into it."

She nodded. "Yes. That's a good idea. Trouble can only be resolved on a full stomach."

We continued eating our gooey goodness, and I licked sauce off my fingers when it dripped down my thumb. Finally satiated, I picked up a few wet napkins and wiped my hands clean.

Gabby passed me a water bottle. "All right, Chrissy, what's going on?"

I sighed again and crossed my legs. "I don't know where to start."

"Let's start with why you've been nice these past couple of weeks."

"I've been nice ?" I asked, spitting out the last word as though it were something foul.

She rolled her eyes. "You don't have to say it like that."

"Sorry. It sounded like an insult."

"I simply meant that you've called me twice this week, you met with your sister, and now you're bringing me lunch. Either the news is really bad, or something really good is happening with you."

"That's the thing, Gabby. I don't know which one it is."

"I'm listening."

I blew out a breath, and my hair fluttered. "It's Will. He makes me feel… I don't know… different. I'm happy, yet confused. Maybe skeptical. I don't know."

"Okay."

"That's it? That's all you have to say?"

She shrugged. "I'm just here to listen, not make judgments. What's the problem?"

"The problem is I'm waiting for him to leave."

Most people probably wouldn't understand why I would say something like that, even Nikole would wonder why I'd think that. But Gabby knew. "Everyone in my life always does."

"That's not true, Chrissy. I'm here. I've always been here."

"That's because you're not like everyone else, Gabby. You help the helpless every day. You do what others don't have the stomach to do. You get in there when someone's in pain rather than running away. You're one in a million."

She smiled and waved off my compliment. "Stop it. That's not true."

"It is. In my line of work, I see guilty people get away with white-collar crime all the time and no one cares about justice. I see friends turn their backs on one another and family members do horrific things to each other. It's a cruel world. And there aren't many people who want to change it."

"But you do. And so does Will. He's our Black Knight, remember?"

"Yeah," I said quietly. "And I think that's the problem."

"How is that a problem?"

"He's always looking for the next person to save. I don't know what drives him to do it, but I do know it won't last."

"That's not true. I've known him a long time, and he hasn't changed his resolve. He's dependable and loyal."

He was all of those things and yet… "He's interested in me right now because he thinks he can save me. He thinks I'm another woman he can swoop in and change her life. But I don't need anyone to do that. I don't need anyone to protect me. I can protect myself."

Gabby nodded. "That's true. I've known you practically your whole life and you've gotten up every time someone has knocked you down. When a teacher told you that you'd never leave this neighborhood, you studied harder than before."

"Exactly. And when someone knocks me down, I get right back up. I don't need anyone's protection."

"But you do."

I rolled my eyes. "If this is where you say everyone needs help from someone, I get it. But I've got you."

"That wasn't what I was going to say."

"No?"

"No. I was about to say, you may not need someone to protect you from the threats of the outside world, Chrissy. But who's going to save you from yourself?"

I sat there, blinking awkwardly at Gabby.

Her words hit me like a punch in the gut. It was like the wind had been knocked out of me. I sat with my mouth open, the air trapped in my lungs.

Finally, I inhaled sharply and exhaled slowly.

I didn't know what to say.

I had no words because she was right.

"I'm sorry to have to say it, but you are your worst enemy. You sabotage relationships because you're scared. You—"

I held my hand up. "I get the picture."

"Sorry."

"You don't need to apologize. I asked for the truth and you gave it to me. It just sucks when it hits you in the face, you know."

"I know."

She stared at me and rested her chin on her clasped hands. "So, what are you going to do about it?"

"I have no fucking idea." I exhaled harshly.

"Well, you can start by talking to Will."

What would I even say to him?

I'm fucked up. I have trust issues. You really should run and leave me behind.

"That you like him."

"I'll think about it," I said and checked the time. "I should get back to the office."

"I've never seen you like this, Chrissy."

"Like what?"

She shrugged. "Unsure. Uncomfortable. You always know what to do and how to do it."

"Yeah. Well, I guess I'm not used to dealing with people who want to be a part of my life."

"It's time you figured that out."

Yes, it was. I just had no clue how to do it.

Will

I started a new bodyguard assignment today. I was asked to drive a Hollywood celebrity around New York. He wasn't exactly drawing the sort of attention that would require a bodyguard, but he'd become a recluse over the past several years and now wanted someone to watch his back anytime he visited a big city. The job was a bit brain-draining if I was honest. No one paid attention to the guy and my presence was the only thing that alerted people to the fact that he was famous at all. In my experience, some celebs believed they were more famous than they really were. Especially in a big city. No one cared.

So, I sat in the waiting room inside some movie producer's office for my client to leave. It had been more than an hour.

The secretary kept glancing my way. She was pretty. But she smiled too much.

I immediately thought of Christina and how she rarely smiled, but when she did, it made my heart stop.

I didn't call today. She needed space and maybe I'd been coming across a little too strong. But damn it. I liked her. She was stronger than anyone else I'd ever met, and the way she walked and talked—it was the whole damn package that drove me crazy.

But unlike other women I'd dated, she never wanted to stay. She kept me at a distance. Yes, the sex was phenomenal, but something was missing. There was a depth to her she wouldn't allow me to reach, and I felt the distance as though it were a football field between us.

And I had no idea how to close it.

I was rubbing the back of my neck when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and checked the message.

"Do you have plans tonight?"

It was Christina. I smirked.

"Yes. I do."

I waited for the three dots, telling me that she was texting me back, but there was nothing. I shook my head. I shouldn't tease her. Not unless we were in bed.

I typed another message. "I have plans with you."

The three dots instantly appeared.

"Asshole."

I laughed out loud, and the secretary looked up. She saw me with my phone in hand and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, getting back to her computer.

I texted back. "What did you have in mind?"

"How about that strip club I saw you at weeks ago?"

A strip club?

I suddenly remembered what she was talking about. I'd seen her there when I'd followed Tina's boyfriend into that place. If she was looking for some visual foreplay, I was game.

"I'll pick you up at seven."

"No. I'll take a cab there. It's sexier that way."

I groaned. This woman messed me up. She fucked with my head and my heart was confused as hell. She wanted my body, that I was sure about. She even liked spending time with me, but I wanted more.

"I'll be there." I texted and stuffed my phone in my pocket. I was already hard just thinking about seeing her in a place full of naked women. She would be fully clothed and only I knew what those button-up blouses and black pencil skirts hid underneath. Fuck, I had to stop thinking of Christina or that secretary would think this tent in my pants was for her.

***

The strip club was busy. A single man or a group of people occupied every table. I found one near the back, in a dark corner. It was perfect.

As I sat down, a new show started on stage. The woman wore a superhero costume and used a play sword in ways I didn't think a major franchise would approve of. I smiled, thinking how sexy Christina would look wearing that tight black outfit and how it would hug all of her curves.

Just then, my body tingled, and a movement to my right caught my attention. Christina walked in and looked around the room. She didn't see me as I watched her glance at her phone and then back around the room. I texted her. "You look fucking beautiful."

Her head whipped around and finally she saw me. She smirked and strutted over toward me. She wore a tight black dress tonight. She was always prepared to fuck. I loved that about her.

My dick hardened again. It was in a perpetual state of semi-arousal whenever she was near or even just thinking about her.

"Hi," she said. "Is this seat taken?"

I grinned. Did she want to role-play? I was down for that. "I was expecting my girlfriend, but you'll do nicely."

She narrowed her eyes, and I fought back my amusement. "Do you easily replace your girlfriends ?"

"Only my fake ones."

She licked her lips and sat down beside me in the booth. "How's the show?"

"It just got a hell of a lot better."

Her lips twitched, and I ran my finger along her bare arm. Goosebumps raised onto her skin.

A server walked up to our table and smiled. "What can I get you guys?"

"Ladies first," I said, looking at Christina.

"Um…" she pushed back her hair and grabbed the drink menu. The server tilted her head and stared at her. Realization dawned on her face.

"Oh, hey," she said.

"Hey," Christina replied.

There was a tension between them I didn't understand.

"I'll have a gin and soda."

Although the server was still staring at Christina, I placed my order as well. "I'll take a scotch, neat."

Raising her chin, Christina smiled. "Thank you."

The server didn't return her smile. "You're welcome."

Then she left.

I couldn't help it. I had to ask.

"What was that about?"

"Shit. I'd forgotten all about it. I wouldn't have chosen this place had I remembered."

"Remembered what?"

"We were supposed to hook up once, but I never showed up."

I blinked. "You were supposed to hook up as in go out for drinks?"

"No, Will. I'm pretty sure she wanted to have sex, but my mind was someplace else then and I didn't show."

"Oh."

She ran her hand through her hair as she side-eyed me.

"Does it bother you?"

I didn't pretend to misunderstand her. It was obvious from my reaction.

"No," I answered truthfully. "Just surprised, that's all."

"I've mainly dated men, but I haven't shied away from women, either."

I swallowed.

"I can tell this bothers you. I'm not going to deny who I am, so if you can't handle it, then there's the door."

What?!

"How did this escalate so fast? Just give me a moment to process it. That's all I'm asking."

She crossed her arms and her legs, her foot dangled impatiently. She was probably annoyed as fuck, yet all I could think about was her. She was the sexiest person in this room. And there was presently a naked woman on stage.

I shouldn't have been surprised that Christina was open to all sorts of relationships. She never struck me as the apprehensive type.

"It doesn't bother me that you've been with other women, or men, for that matter. I love that you're open to different experiences. Hell, I can't wait to try whatever you're down with. But…"

I turned her legs so her body faced me. "I won't share you."

Her lips fell open, but I didn't wait for her reply. "I'm not that kind of guy. I'm a jealous and possessive man. I want you all to myself. So as long as you're with me, you're only with me." I ran my thumb over her mouth. "These lips are mine."

Her tongue darted through her lips, and that tiny flicker against my skin made me throb.

Then, I dropped my hand between her crossed thighs and pushed my fingers past them. She was damp, and I realized my possessiveness had made her wet. I inhaled sharply through the tightness in my chest. "This pussy is mine, too. It only opens up for me."

Her eyes held mine, and while her face was hard, her body softened at my fingertips. "Say it."

"Yes," she whispered harshly. The word was hoarse against my ears.

"No. Say you're mine."

Her eyes burned as hot as embers and she licked her lips, then pressed them to mine. Her mouth opened wide at the same time as her thighs and I slid my fingers inside of her.

She gasped and clutched the collar of my shirt as my tongue explored her hot, wet mouth. She tasted like peppermint every damn time. The scent had become an aphrodisiac to me. She panted between kisses and said, "Meet me in the women's bathroom in two minutes."

When she pulled away, the cool air hit my lips and fingers and I shivered. She was just about to leave, but I stopped her. "Wait."

She looked over her shoulder, her eyebrows drawing closer together. "What is it?"

I swallowed. "Let's go back to my place."

She shook her head. "I don't want to wait that long." She stepped forward, but I grabbed her hand.

"I don't think that's the reason."

A sinking feeling pressed its way through my stomach and past my chest. "I think you keep me away on purpose. I think you put distance between us when you choose these public places for us to be together."

She shook her head. "No. I don't. That's crazy."

"Is it?"

Her lips tightened.

Might as well say it all. She was pissed at me already.

"I also think you were trying to pick a fight when you told me about that server."

I tried to pull her back to the booth beside me, but she stood her ground. Regardless, I went on. "But I'm right here, Christina. And I'm not going anywhere."

Her throat trembled. "I—I—" she stammered. She closed her eyes and breathed heavily. "I've got to go."

Pulling herself away from me, she strutted out of the club.

My body bounced to go after her, but I sat and watched her go instead. I knew that following her now, she would only push me away.

The server placed our drinks on the table.

"Don't take it personally. She's not into relationships."

I sipped my drink. "You're wrong. She's just never been in the right one."

I would be patient. I would be what she needed me to be.

Because I loved her.