22

Christina

I hailed a cab less than a block away from the club. With all this tension in my body, I would have preferred to walk, except these heels were killing me. Why the fuck was I wearing heels, anyway? I always wore flats, but lately I've been wearing heels. For him.

Well, fuck that. I was changing for no one.

This was me. Unapologetically me.

"Where to, Miss?"

I sucked on my teeth. I was too pent up to go back home. I considered calling Nikole, but she would be at home with Jake. I could try Gabby, but she heard enough of my crap today. Donna? No. Too soon for that.

Fuck it.

"Take me to 7 th and Avenue in the East Village. There's a bar there."

As he drove through the streets of New York City, lights and billboards flashed across the window, but all I saw was his face.

Why did he have to insist on me staying the night? Why couldn't we just keep doing what we were doing?

Why are you running away? A small voice whispered, and I swallowed.

I wasn't running away. I blinked as the bright lights blurred. A tear fell down my cheek and I wiped it away angrily.

I would not cry over him. I would not.

I was standing up for myself. I was…

Shit. What was I doing?

Gabby's words intruded into my thoughts. ‘ Who's going to save you from yourself?'

My leg bounced in the backseat of the cab, and I tapped two fingers against my lips. Shaking my head, I closed my eyes. Who would save me from myself?

No one.

No one could save me from myself… but me.

Fear gripped my heart, and I rubbed my chest.

What if he leaves?

Damn it. I couldn't always be worried about that. I couldn't use it as an excuse to run before he did.

I balled my fists. "Wait," I called out to the cab driver. "I need you to take me someplace else."

"Where to?"

I hesitated. My stomach was tight with knots, yet my heart fluttered in my chest. "Park Avenue."

He slowed the car down and pulled a U-turn. As I held onto the seatbelt, I wondered if this was when I turned my life around, too.

Shit. I hoped so.

As the cab drew closer to his apartment, my doubts receded. I felt lighter, but my knee still bounced. "Take the next street to avoid traffic," I told the driver.

He followed my directions and drove me to the front of the building. "Thanks," I called as I got out of the car.

As the elevator ascended to the penthouse, doubts began creeping into my thoughts, but I pushed them away. The doors finally opened, and I walked down the hallway. Pain shot through my feet and I teetered. Fuck it. I yanked my heels off one at a time as I hopped down the corridor.

Inhaling, I knocked twice on his door. With my shoes in one hand and my heart in the other, I waited.

And waited.

No answer.

"Christina?" The unexpected voice startled me. It came from the scanner next to Will's door. "I'm not at home. Don't leave. Don't even fucking move. I'll be right there."

I smiled at the urgency in his voice. "I might need to scratch an itch, but okay."

"Don't mess with me, woman. I can't take it right now. I'm ten minutes away."

The strip club was at least twenty minutes away, but I imagined Will already in his car, racing down the streets. Pressing my back to his door, I sank to the floor.

And waited.

I had no idea what I would say, but I knew I couldn't run anymore. We would talk it through.

I thought back to the first time I'd run. It was the night my parents were killed. I stayed with a neighbor, but I couldn't sleep. I climbed out of the bedroom window and ran back to my old house. I slept in my bedroom until morning when the police found me there.

I had run away from Gabby's house once, too. We fought, and I told her I didn't need her anymore. I tried to run back to my old house, but the doors were locked. Someone else was living there, but in my young mind, I'd thought I could always go back home. Gabby and her mother found me outside the front door and walked me back to her place. They'd never said anything, and neither did I. Just sort of acted like it never happened.

I rubbed my face as I thought about those times. There were so many more like them, but I realized they started when I was quite young. It wouldn't be easy to change. But I was the only one who could make it happen.

The elevator chime startled me and I looked up. As soon as the doors opened, Will marched through them. He still wore his black pants and white-buttoned shirt. But he'd opened the first two buttons and I could see his collarbone. It wasn't much, but it was enough to make my mouth run dry.

I couldn't remember the last time I was nervous. My first trial, maybe. But this felt scarier. More profound. Like I stood on the precipice of my life and I wasn't sure where I would fall.

He stopped in front of me and crossed his arms. "I told you not to move."

"I'm no good at taking orders."

He gave me his hand, and I took it. Raising me from the floor, we stood and stared at each other.

Then, he ran his hand along my cheek and whispered, "You came back to me."

I bit my lip, unsure of what this was exactly. "I don't know what I'm feeling. Only that I'm falling and I'm afraid of getting hurt."

He licked his lips and ran his hand through my hair. "Christina, when will you get it? If you fall, I'll be here to catch you. Every damn time."

After picking up the pieces of my life, I thought I would never want anyone to save me. But my whole body sighed when I heard his words, as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

Holding my face in his hands, he said softly, "You don't have to do it all by yourself. Share the burden. We will get through it together."

I nodded, unable to get anything through my tight throat, but tears filled my eyes and Will inhaled sharply. Then he pulled me into his arms and covered me with his body. My muscles relaxed, and I let go of the tension I'd been holding onto. I let go of the mantra that I had to do it all by myself. That may have been the case before, but now Will wanted to do it with me. And why should I turn him away? He may leave, but I would still be left standing. I knew that I would. I would get through it if he did. But I didn't have to be afraid anymore. I didn't have to be the one to sabotage the good in my life anymore.

"Let's go inside," he said and opened the door.

I noticed the floral scent first. Then, the soft music.

Looking around the apartment, I saw dozens upon dozens of white and red roses set up around the penthouse. There was even a chocolate fountain running in the corner of the kitchen and I looked up at Will, confused. "How did you know I would come back here?"

"My plan had always been to come back to the apartment." He kissed my temple. "There was a bit of a detour, but you made your way here eventually."

I held his arms as he wrapped them around me. "It's beautiful."

"You're the most beautiful thing in here."

He was smooth. I wanted to roll my eyes, but I smiled instead, accepting his compliment. "Thank you."

Taking my shoes from my hand, he grinned. "What happened to these?"

"They're done. I tried, but I'm not fit to wear heels. They are torture devices for my feet. That's something I'm not willing to change."

He laughed. "I don't mind. Your legs look sexy in and out of them."

Slowly, he dropped to one knee and ran a hand up and down the back of my leg. My skin tingled wherever he touched it, and I closed my eyes.

He kissed the inside of my knee, working his lips up to the middle of my thigh. My hand fell to his hair, and I brushed it with my fingertips. Pushing my panties aside, his tongue swept across my lips and I shivered. "Let's go to your room," I said, feeling wobbly on my feet.

With a soft moan, he stood and lifted me from the back of my legs and carried me to his bedroom. After laying me down on the bed, he straightened and unbuttoned the rest of his shirt. I watched greedily as he exposed inch after inch of muscular perfection. There had always been this sexual tension between us, but now that my walls were slowly coming down, I didn't have to hold myself back with him.

I slid one side of my dress off my shoulder and then the other. He watched me intently as though I held some secret inside the palm of my hand instead of some flimsy fabric. It made me feel powerful, and I was unashamed to say I loved every second of it.

"Come here," I said, and he dropped his hands onto the bed and climbed on top of me. He took his time kissing every inch of exposed skin as I slowly undressed. My body had been ready for him back at the club, now it was screaming at him to take me.

He didn't hesitate, removing his clothes quickly and returning to cover his body with mine. He didn't rush when he pulled my legs apart, dropping his head to lick my clit. Arousal gripped me and I pulled him closer, wanting him inside of me before I was even ready for it. But this time, Will wouldn't be pressured. He pulled himself back and returned his attention to my core, nibbling and sucking in a slow, rhythmic motion. My body convulsed, and I gripped the sheets behind my head.

I'd never begged for anything in my whole life, but the words spilled out of my mouth before I could stop them. "Please, Will. I need you."

I didn't recognize the neediness in my voice, but I embraced it. I needed him. And I wouldn't be ashamed to say it.

Finally, when my leg trembled and my chest heaved, he lay on top of me and guided his throbbing erection inside of me. I arched my back after only receiving a couple of inches of him. But the fullness shocked me every time. "Shh," he whispered, caressing my hair. "Relax for me."

Mindfully, I released the sheets and let my hands fall wherever they lay and trusted Will to take care of me. With a hand between us, he circled my clit and rubbed it so exquisitely that I sighed when the pleasure relaxed the muscles in my legs. "That's it, baby," he said, as he pushed further inside of me.

Will moved slowly at first, taking care not to hurt me, but I was having none of that. I hooked my ankles at his back and thrust my hips to meet his tempo. He growled, lifted himself onto his forearms, and stared into my eyes. Something feral passed over them and my body trembled. "Do it," I said. "Don't hold back."

After that command, he slammed inside me without any warning or hesitation, and I cried out in pleasure. "Yes."

He gripped my hips, holding me in place as he hammered me against the mattress. His stomach tightened and his muscles rippled as he moved frantically in and out of me. His thumbprints would be seared into my flesh, I knew, but didn't care. I would happily wear the bruises tomorrow. Right now, all I could think about was reaching for that orgasm. Racing toward it as I drew closer and closer. When my legs began to tremble and my breath caught in my throat, I let go of any other fears I held close to my heart. I let go of the doubts, and the past, of the chaos, and the uncertainty and grabbed onto the firm muscles of the forearms that held me in place. They were my anchor, and I would use them to lift me from my past.

When I finally let go of everything, my body fell to pieces and my heart grew wings. It fluttered against my chest until Will shouted his pleasure and fell on top of me.

I held him against my chest, wrapping my legs and arms around him. I wanted to hold him there forever. Or at least until I knew he would never let go.

His breath was ragged at my ear, but I heard him when he asked, "Will you stay with me tonight?"

I closed my eyes and waited for the lump to pass through my throat. My head nodded before I could even get the words out, but finally, a hoarse, "Yes," came through and he squeezed me closer to him.

"I want you by my side every night from this moment on."

He was getting greedy, but I smiled. I was greedy, too.

"Every night, and every morning."