Clav

"You're here," I whisper, trying to shake the odd dreams from my mind while I focus on my task at hand.

"You summoned me." Her voice sounds like a thousand screams trapped in an old frail body. "Sovereign icle."

I shudder at my name on her lips. I can tell I'm somewhere between reality and the spirit world. That nausea you feel when it's way too early to wake up, but you're not fully asleep, makes my stomach turn. Or maybe it's the demonic woman before me.

"I know why you're here," she says in an ancient voice. Picking up a stick, she pokes at the embers in the fire. The fire pops and flares, flames swirling toward the cavern ceiling. "You want me to end the sacrifices."

"Yes." I'm surprised by my own boldness. But I'm desperate to get away from this old hag, and the only way I can is to complete my mission.

"And I suppose you want your memories and powers back, too, hm?" She smiles, revealing those rotted teeth.

My chest aches at the thought. "No."

Her wicked eyes swivel from the flames to mine, smile fading "No?"

"It's…too much. I don't want to remember anything of my past."

Her head tilts, her teeth still barred. "Your past self is a Spine Sovereign of the wickedest sort."

She says it like it's a good thing.

"With a shit ton of trauma to carry around," I add. "No doubt."

Now no hint of a smile remains on her pale face, just a glare and barred teeth, like she's ready to rip my throat out.

"Your human mind might have trouble processing the life of a fae. This world might seem cruel to mortals like you, but this world's strength and resilience is why fae live so long and rule so ruthlessly. Once you've been transformed back to your fae self, your trauma won't seem so bad."

Chills prickle on my skin. She's not going to give me an option, is she? It's almost like she misses this Sovereign icle, wants him back. And she has the power to bring him.

"That's right, human." Even her whisper is like a thousand silent screams.

"If you end the human sacrifices," I say. "I'll let you turn me back." I squeeze my eyes shut, hating the words as they leave my lips. A dark force seems to fill my chest, burning any hope I might have had and leaving an empty, charred void. Who will I become when I remember what that sort of power felt like? What will I feel when all my memories slam back into my head, not just the few glimpses I've had of my tragic past?

When nothing happens, I crack my eyes open to find Mother Terra glaring at me.

"If you do not appreciate the life of a powerful fae—the most powerful fae in all the land, I might add—" Her smile grows feral. "—Then you don't deserve it."

My shoulders sag, relief easing the tension in my muscles. She won't force me. She won't change me unless I want it. But the disgusted look on her face as she returns to stirring the embers makes my muscles lock up again.

"You are not the sovereign I remember," she spits out. "Go back to your mortal world, boy."

I swallow hard, not sure whether to feel joy or dread at her releasing me to my home.

"Will you end the sacrifices if I do?" I ask.

Her laugh is husky and wheezy, like someone who's been inhaling too much volcanic smoke.

"I'm a goddess of my word." Her black pits meet my eyes. "That mortal—Aden's—life will be mine by the full moon, whether or not Tarsus brings him. I have my sources, my power, and nothing can stop me from claiming what is mine."

Fear pours through my blood like ice. "What?"

Her black eyes meet mine. "Aden will be sacrificed." Her smile is cold as she adds, "But it's nothing for you to worry about, boy. You want no part of this world…remember?"

Fire—fire threads through my veins, pours into my mouth as I stand. "Why the fuck do you hate humans so much?"

She hisses at me. "Because they take what's not theirs!" The black pits of her eyes begin glowing orange like the embers of the fire, and my blood turns cold. "They come into this realm and live here freely, eating our food, drinking our heady wine, dancing with royalty, and not offering a bit of labor. At least, they didn't until they were all enslaved."

"Humans used to live freely here?"

"This place was an escape for them to indulge in debauchery and crime without the consequences their realm enforced. But every action has a consequence, and every sin must be atoned for. That's why I demand sacrifices. They want to live here?" She nods slowly. "Fine. But they must pay in blood."

Magic begins whirling around me, the strong scent of spices engulfing me. "You'll return to your human life in the mortal realms, since that's what you want so badly."

"Wait! I'll become fae again! I'll let you change me—" I struggle to cling to consciousness, but my tongue is sluggish and darkness invades my vision before I get another word out.

ADEN

The entire day has slowly burned away, all of us waiting in the living quarters of Wolfsbane's Terra Palace for the volcano to stop spewing smoke into the ashen sky. Hemlock paces the length of the window looking toward the volcano, his hands buried in his shoulder-length black hair. Wolfsbane is reclining between Ash's thighs, chewing their lip in worry. Ash's arms are loosely clasped over their chest while she watches Hemlock pace. Kunak and Aaliyah are talking quietly across the room, muscles tense as though ready for an attack at any moment, while Shiloh drowns herself in alcohol by the fire.

It's been a long ass day, to say the least. Wolfsbane said the journey to the heart of the volcano could take half the day. So we waited. All morning. All afternoon. Now it's nearly midnight, and nothing has happened. Nothing has changed. Ash revisited Abaddon hours ago, hoping for some word of change, but even Abaddon seems clueless as to what's happening in the cave.

"I bet he's in the Skull Palace in his fae form right now, sitting in his Throne of Bones with the Crown of Teeth upon his brow, indulging in some hog feast," Tarsus says bitterly beside me. They hunch forward on the lush couch, hands clasped between their knees. For the first time, I fear the same thing. If Mother Terra returned 's memories, he might turn into the villain he once was. He'd view his human self as a pathetic fool. He might even throw me into the volcano without a second thought.

Nausea swirls in the pit of my stomach at the thought. Not only of him killing me, but of him looking at me without an ounce of love in his eyes. That might hurt the worst.

From the moment I met him in the bookstore, attraction sparked between us. We immediately vibed, the electricity between us charged. I'd never slept with anyone I met that same day, but the attraction was too strong to refuse when he came into my inn room that night. He sucked my cock on his knees, ate out my center, then fucked me hard, giving me one of the best orgasms I've ever had.

But he also made me laugh multiple times since then—even when my partner kept him as a prisoner. He treated me like an equal, not some mortal in need of protection. I need him to come back. I need him to love me and see me as he did before. Not as he will in his fae form—as a weak human whose life's only purpose is to be volcano fodder.

I glance out the wall-length window for the thousandth time, hoping for a glimpse of starry skies, which would mean the volcano has ceased her fuming. I wring my clammy hands, my stomach rolling again until I know I'm going to puke.

Racing out of the room, I ignore Tarsus' calls as I do exactly that, reaching the bathroom just in time to throw up what little I'd eaten today into the porcelain toilet.

Just as I finish heaving, a light tremor shakes the ground. Wolfsbane said they're common here, with the volcano so close by, and sure enough, they happened every fifteen minutes or so all day. But this one doesn't stop. It grows stronger, until the walls feel like they're going to collapse on us.

"Fuck." Leaping to my feet, I race out of the bathroom to find the others on their feet, staring out the window. A fresh plume of smoke billows out of the Heart of Faerie, fire and embers bursting forth with it, glowing bright against the night sky. Orange rivers of lava carve new veins into the crater.

"We still have two weeks, don't we?" I breathe. "Before, um…"

"Yes," is Wolfsbane's curt reply. They look at me, their inky black eyes seeming to absorb the firelight. "If Mother Terra doesn't accept icle's request, she'll still wait until the full moon before she demands a sacrifice." They look toward the volcano, a muscle working in their jaw. "This is just a threat of what's to come. A reminder."

Ash steps through the seam, a feral look on her face. "He's not at the Skull Palace. He's not in the caves. But as a last resort, I traveled to the human realms." Ash's throat bobs in a hard swallow, her russet eyes nearly growing an angry shade of red with her sneer. "icle is back in his cozy mortal home, sleeping peacefully in his bed as we face utter destruction."

Silence fills the room. Until—"Fucking excuse me?" Tarsus snaps.

"He…abandoned us to our fate?" Hemlock asks, his dark brows pulling into a V. "He must have made a deal with Mother Terra, that if she returns him to the mortal realms, he'll not interfere." He releases a short laugh. "How fucking typical of him. Selfish bastard."

"Before I took him to the caves," Wolfsbane says, "he said that, if he does this, we'd promise to return him to the mortal realms. We were so caught up on his agreeing to our terms, I don't think any of us really understood how much he actually wanted to go back. Maybe some of us figured it was all a part of his ruse." Wolf looks at Tarsus pointedly, and Tarsus avoids their gaze, instead looking out the window, nostrils flaring. "If Mother Terra refused his request to end the sacrifices, she probably granted his request for her to send him back to the human realms." Their throat bobs in a swallow. "Knowing he couldn't help us, he left us here to die."

Everyone is quiet for a few minutes, all of us processing what this means. Because if icle couldn't stop Mother Terra from either demanding my sacrifice or destroying the world…

"Let's bring him back," Tarsus says, looking at Ash. "Open the seam, I'll drag his ass back here until he does as we ask."

"No." All eyes turn to me. "He had his chance to help us. But…I think this was all too much for him." I look around at each person before me, willing them to understand. "The fae world can be a lot for mortals who didn't grow up here. Hell, it's a lot for mortals who did grow up here." I swallow hard. "We have to let him go. Let him live out his normal human life in the mortal realms."

Silence fills the room as everyone considers.

"I agree," Hemlock finally says, his voice rough. "As much as I hate to admit it, I think icle's mind truly was wiped. I think he's fully mortal." His dark eyes scan the room. "Gods know he endured enough pain in his fae life. It's only fair that, after everything he went through in his fae life, he deserves to live a peaceful human life."

"I'm sorry, Aden." Wolf says. "I'm sorry your plan to bring icle back didn't work like we had hoped."

Their words hit me like a punch in the stomach, and I feel like I might puke again. "It was worth a shot." I have to swallow down another heaving as I add, "We know what we have to do."

"Fuck. No," Tarsus snaps, glaring at me with cool silver eyes. "You're not going to throw your life away for some petty goddess."

"If I don't, she'll kill you all. This entire continent will be buried beneath ash. No one will survive, Tarsus." I look at Wolfsbane. "Tell them."

Wolf looks unsure as they look between us. "Tarsus, you know I love Aden as much as you do. But—"

"You absofuckinglutely do not," Tarsus snaps. "Because if you did, you'd risk the entire continent to save him." They ask Ash to open the portal to the Skull Palace, and she draws an invisible line in the air, allowing access to the seam of storm and wind as Tarsus turns to me, hand extended for me to join them.

"You'd risk every life in the Five Empires?" I ask. "Do you have any idea how that makes you look? You're not any better than icle, then." I lift my chin. "Didn't he sacrifice one-hundred humans to keep your love safe from Elderberry?"

Tarsus stares at me, their throat convulsing in a swallow. "Please don't do this, Aden."

"I'm not coming with you, Tarsus."

Their jaw clenches, their eyes frosting over as they straighten. "Step through the fucking portal, Aden, or gods help me, I'll throw you over my shoulder and force you through."

There it is. Tarsus has given me the illusion of power for most of our relationship. But now that it comes down to it, they value my safety over my own autonomy. They selfishly choose their love for me over the safety of everyone in this realm.

Just like icle did for them.

"Aden," they say, their voice low and authoritative, the way a fae might order a human slave. The way a human might command a dog. "Come, Aden." When I don't move, they step toward me, but I stumble back into Wolfsbane, glad when I feel their arms loop around my shoulders, clasping around my chest.

"If Aden doesn't wish to come with you," Wolf says, "then he doesn't have to."

The look Tarsus gives Wolf makes me shudder. They never did like Wolf. First, it was because Wolfsbane viewed humans as a lesser species and didn't value us. Wolf was demeaning and rude to me in the beginning, but quickly warmed up until this…attraction between us bloomed. Then my music lured out their Shadow Magic, making us an indestructible duo, powerful enough to defeat the Solar Army while Mother Terra attempted to sabotage us when she erupted on the battlefield.

While Tarsus is my nesting partner, Wolfsbane is connected to me in spirit and body. We have a bond forged from shadow and wind. They've been there for me whenever I needed them. Like right now.

"So this is how it's going to be," Tarsus seethes, narrowing their eyes at Wolf. "I bet you had this planned all along, didn't you, Wolf? You had plans to throw him into the volcano from the very beginning. You were just waiting for the perfect opportunity."

I feel Wolf's arms tense around my shoulders and chest. "You know things changed."

"Have they though? Because from here, it looks like you still plan on carrying out your plan."

"Unbelievable," Hemlock says from across the room, muscled arms folded over his chest. "You really think that after all Wolf sacrificed on that battlefield, going so far as to put their life on the front lines of charging warriors instead of throwing Aden into the volcano, that they still intended to sacrifice him?"

Tarsus shrugs. "They're clearly not protecting him now, are they?"

"I want to protect Aden at all costs as much as you, Tarsus." They remove their arms from my shoulders. "But if I learned anything through my relationship with Hemlock when he released me as his prisoner, when I still posed a threat against his armies, it's that giving someone a choice, no matter how much it hurts you, is the truest form of love there is." Wolf threads their fingers through mine, and I look at them, tears blurring my vision as I mouth thank you.

Tarsus looks between Wolf and me. I wouldn't be surprised if they declared war and used their armies to destroy Wolf's fragile empire just to take me back home. But they must realize that holding me against my will would not earn them any points.

Baring their teeth, they say to me, "If that's what you want, Aden. But I will not sit back and watch you throw your life away."

Whirling around, they step into the seam, the black hole closing behind them. Seeing Tarsus walk out of my life like that, all because they couldn't allow me the freedom to make my own choice, it makes that nausea roll in my stomach again. Spinning around, I race to the bathroom and puke again.