Aden

It's an earthquake that pulls me from a deep sleep. I'd woken momentarily to find Tarsus and Clav having some sort of conversation at the edge of the bed. They must have both crawled back under the covers at some point, because now Tarsus is tucked behind me, Clav spooning them from behind.

"Tremors," Tarsus whispers.

The walls seem to rattle with the earthquake, the tremors growing more violent, then slowing to a stop.

"What the fuck was that?" Clav asks.

"The volcano," I respond with a wince.

"Clavicle has to go to the mountain," Tarsus says, their voice low. And when they look at Clav, I swear I see a hint of regret and sorrow. "Now."

Terror clutches my throat in its icy fingers. Even though he agreed to go, I'm not ready to see Clav go. What if Mother Terra ends him when she finds out he's mortal? Worse, what if she unleashes Sovereign Clavicle, who is no-doubt in there somewhere?

The muscles in Tarsus' throat convulse with a hard swallow. "He has to go. With Wolfsbane. You need to summon Ash so she can take us to Ivy City."

Dread snakes around my spine like a viper when I look at Clav. How the fuck is this little nerdy human from nowhere, Indiana going to convince a vicious, deadly goddess to stop the human sacrifices? We'll lose him. I will lose him.

"I…I can't summon Ash," I finally say. I'd rather send myself in, knowing full well why I'm sacrificing myself, and for whom, than to send Clav in when he doesn't even belong to this world. At least, not this version of him.

"Do it." Clav is looking at me with a certain ambition in his eyes that I haven't seen since that day at the faire. "It's why you brought me here, isn't it?"

"Yes, but…I didn't realize…"

"That you would fall in love with me?" He flashes his signature grin that melts my heart every time. How could he smile like that in these sorts of circumstances?

"You're a human, Clav," I say, unable to meet his smile. "Mother Terra is going to eat you for breakfast."

"," Tarsus says, their voice low. ", we have to send him. Or everyone will die. So go grab your fiddle and summon that black-hearted sorcerer you call friend."

Clav

"This black-hearted sorcerer—does Tarsus mean Wolfsbane?" I ask as I walk beside down the hall. Tarsus went ahead to their room to change into more appropriate clothes to meet with the Cadre, but sticks with me while I pull on my jeans and t-shirt.

smirks. "Yes. Wolf used to be a witch, a Terra witch, just as Tarsus is a bone witch. But witches only use their powers for good, with the oath to harm none. As soon as Wolf sold their soul to their Shadow and killed Elderberry with a curse, they gave up the title of witch and took on the title of sorcerer. A title looked down on by many circles, unfortunately."

We arrive at their bedroom, where Tarsus is already clothed in their usual violet robes trimmed with silver threads, several hoops in their pointed ears, and chains on their antlers—all beauty and elegance and ruthless arrogance.

I have never set foot inside their bedroom. It's huge, the size of a small house. Like the rest of the palace, the floor is black marble, the walls bone white. An antler chandelier hangs above, the crystals catching the firelight from the hearth. Long column windows peer out to the city beyond, iron bars keeping anyone from breaking in. And the bed. The four post bed made with black satin sheets is massive, as wide as two king-sized beds placed together, and extra long to accommodate their antlers. Several bookshelves line the walls, and two sitting chairs are angled around the fireplace.

"I'm ready," Tarsus says, looking at . "Summon Wolf."

picks up his violin, positioning it on his shoulder before slowly dragging the bow over the taut strings. Beautiful, unearthly music fills the room. I wonder if the fae know that is better at playing the fiddle than most humans. That he's exceptionally talented. Black wisps of smoke curl between his fingers, and I stumble back. He whispers something to the black ribbons, and they shoot across the room, disappearing into thin air as he stops playing.

"What is that?" I ask breathlessly.

"Remember that Shadow that Wolf sold their soul to?" he asks. "We kind of…share that Shadow. And can communicate through it."

"What the fuck? But you're…a human. Does this mean you have magic?"

shrugs. "I haven't really tried using it, apart from communicating with Wolf."

"Doing so might make the Shadow infiltrate his soul, too," Tarsus says, their eyes gleaming. "Using it for yourself would be an invitation in itself."

I shudder, imagining the thin line is forced to walk. "Is that why you're so good at playing the fiddle? Does your Shadow help with that, too?"

sets the fiddle down. "Possibly. I have become quite a bit better in the last few weeks." He smirks, his clover eyes lighting with humor. "Maybe I should go back to busking on the streets. I bet I could make a fortune."

That narrow black doorway made of storms and wind appears, slowly expanding into an oval, the smell of earth and rain drifting out to meet us.

Tarsus jerks their chin to the oval. "Get in."

My heart palpitates in my chest. "What?"

's cool fingers caress my elbow. "It's okay," he whispers in my ear. "It's like those wormholes we see in sci-fi movies. You step through and materialize on the other side." He slides his fingers down my forearm, threading his fingers through mine, and leads me into the portal of wind and darkness. I try to resist, every nerve in my body telling me this is wrong, but he gently tugs on my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "It's okay. I've done this a million times."

Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves, I follow him, stepping into the forbidding darkness. Cool wind whips around me, roaring in my ears as complete darkness engulfs me. Panic grips my throat, my body freezing in place, but tugs my hand, and I cling to it like a lifeline.

I stumble out to a courtyard that looks like an abandoned medieval garden. Stone walls surround the courtyard, covered with dead vines that must have been green with life before Mother Terra cursed these lands. Behind me, a stone palace reaches toward the gray sky, dead vines crawl up the gray stones that make up the medieval walls. The stench of sulfur hangs heavy in the air here. In the distance, not too far off, the massive volcano is coughing black smoke into the sky. I'm seeing the mountain at a different angle than the one I beheld when I came here, as if we're coming up from a different direction. No rolling hills stand before the volcano, just jagged, teeth-like mountains. And we are so much closer than before, nearly on the base of the slopes. A perfect place for that pyroclastic flow to whoosh down and wipe the entire city out.

"The Spine Empire is on the other side of the volcano," says quietly, stepping up beside me as I marvel at the massive mountain.

"What about the bat cave?"

"Abaddon's Lair is on the northern side of the mountain. Facing toward the Lunar Empire, but still within the Spine borders."

The volcano stands tall and proud, a queen looking over her empire…and threatening to destroy it. Her slopes are charred black, and standing this close, I can see orange lava cresting the peaks, a quiet threat for what's to come if I don't go in there and soothe the temper of Mother Terra.

As we climb the stone stairwell to the palace doors, I'm able to glance over the stone walls and see the city. Ivy City. Sovereign Wolfsbane's home and the capitol of the Terra Empire. Stone cottages with straw roofs stretch across the broad valley in the distance, their gardens that were probably crawling with vegetation and blooming with flowers before, now nothing but brown, twisted branches. It's nothing like the metropolis of Jawbone City. It's quaint and…

"This city looks like it was peaceful, once," I say.

nods and scans the city, a forlorn look crossing his features. "Ivy City was…very much like a little hobbit village. While the capital of the Solar Empire is highly advanced and bustling with constant activity, Ivy City is known for its primitive, quiet way of life." His eyes meet mine, and there's a sadness there that rips my heart in two. "Hopefully you can restore it back to its original glory."

I smother a laugh, because I have no idea what I'm supposed to even do to make that happen. But I nod and continue up the stairs into the palace. We step into a long hall that's etched with twisted vines and flowers. Bioluminescent light glows from the engravings, giving the hall a warm ambience.

The guards here wear armor that looks like tree-bark, with swirls etched on the front. The swirls are similar to the ones Mom—I mean Mandi—was stitching upon her tapestry back home. I remember her telling me that the spiral represents one's journey within. At home, my inner journey was finding my path, discovering my future, who I'd be as a human. But in this world…I feel like the only way to discover my inner self would be to learn more about my past.

We finally arrive at the private dining hall. A long oak table is already set with white plates painted with intricate designs of vines and ivy. A massive fireplace roars across the room, offering warmth from the autumn cold outside. The floors and walls are made of gray stone, making the room look like something out of King Arthur's court. Like the walls outside, vines crawling through the cracks in the walls, but unlike the ones outside that have been dusted with ash, these vines are thriving as if through some kind of magic, their fat green leaves blooming against the stone wall.

Wolfsbane and the rest of the Cadre are just now stepping into the dining hall, and I try to remember their names as they walk in. Shiloh, the mermaid with iridescent scales and short white hair, is dressed in a sapphire garment today, though the fabric is still pure gauze and see through. Two swaths of fabric cover her breasts down to her gold chain belt at her hips, where they merge into one swath that falls down to her feet. Her blue-green skin shimmers, even beneath the sheer garment.

Kunak the Minotaur and Aaliyah the werebear are both dressed in armor, as if they just returned from training with their armies. Though this side won the battle against the Solar Empire, I still hear whispers about sides, as if there's still tension between us and the Solar Fae, with potential for war on the horizon if Sovereign Baneberry doesn't behave.

Hemlock, the Solar Prince, is dressed in her full drag queen attire today. Gold hoops hang from her ears, matching the gold bracelets on her wrists and the gold choker engraved with designs of the sun. She wears a glittering gold gown, with a V that dips low on her muscled chest. The gown hugs her narrow waist and broad hips before flowing to the ground in graceful swaths. Her hair—her hair that was black before, is now a light lavender, matching the thick shadow on her eyelids and the purple lines of her brows. Even her full, trimmed beard has been colored a glittery purple.

"This better be important," the drag queen says, studying her long, gold nails. "I was just about to perform a show for my handsome partner."

That partner, Wolfsbane, steps in a moment later, their long brown hair braided down one shoulder and apparently very disgruntled for being interrupted from their drag queen's show. Their black, star-flecked eyes study me closely, as if trying to decide whether or not to chain me up now that we're inside their Terra Palace. They must deem me harmless, because they take their place at the head of the table, Hemlock already seated at their right-hand side, Ash, who's wearing black leather pants and a matching top, is seated on their left, russet eyes gleaming.

Wolfsbane gestures toward the chair across the table from them—at the head—and looks at me. "Please, Clav, take a seat at the head, and let us speak to one another as sovereigns."

I'm not a prisoner, then. Which means they deem me somewhat trustworthy. My shoulders sag in relief, and I take my seat, noting the scowl on Tarsus' features as they sit on my left, taking the seat at my right. I throw Tarsus a cocky grin as I take my seat at the head of the table as the honored guest, and that permanent furrow between their brows deepens.

"What's this emergency meeting for?" Wolf asks, as platters of sliced spiced meats, lentils, rice, and bread rolls are brought out. Everyone digs in to help themselves, but my stomach is too tight to eat. When only silence fills the room, I realize, being Spine Sovereign, I'm expected to lead my half of the meeting. Shit. Shit. Panic immediately engulfs me. Tarsus smirks beside me as they stuff a bite of meat into their mouth, clearly taking pleasure in my sudden discomfort.

"Well, um, I'm sure you felt the tremors not too long ago."

Wolfsbane nods as they stuff a bite of lentils into their mouth. "It was stronger than the others," they say around that bite. "But we have two more weeks before the full moon, when Mother Terra demanded the sacrifice."

The sacrifice. I glance at , my chest growing heavy at the thought of him being seen as nothing more than a sacrifice to this cruel goddess. And suddenly, hatred for Mother Terra infiltrates my veins. How could she acknowledge and see him as nothing more than blood to be spilled? How could she demand this of Tarsus, of Wolf, of any of us? That anger pours through my veins until I taste fire.

"Let's get straight to the point, then," I say. My words come out harsher than I anticipated, and I straighten my shoulders, lift my chin, because I'll not sit back another moment when 's life is on the line. What if the bats steal him while I'm still trying to decide whether or not to speak to Mother Terra? What if I chicken out? "How do I contact this…Mother Terra?"

"Getting right to it, hm? I knew I liked you," Wolfsbane says, leaning back in their chair, a small smile tugging at their lips. "You're going to walk into the volcano's depths and meet with Mother Terra there. I'll go with you halfway, but she hates me for rejecting her last demands, so you'll have to go the rest of the way on your own, unless Abaddon feels gracious enough to escort you." Wolf picks up their wine and takes a drink. "You'll talk to her like an old friend and kindly request she end her demand for human blood."

"I'm a human," I say, my voice even. "She may very well swallow me whole before she even knows who I am. Is there any way to avoid this?"

"You're her favorite." Wolfsbane's muscle jerks in their jaw. "She will recognize you in a heartbeat, even without your antlers, even in your human form. Spine Fae aren't bound to the laws of the universe to harm none, like us Terra Witches are. Your goddess is Death. Harming others to get what you want is a form of worship to Mother Terra itself. When you demanded a hundred human sacrifices, Mother Terra immediately took a liking to you."

I flinch. "I…I remember that," I admit. It's one of the many visions that haunts my nightmares. The Spine Fae wearing skull masks. The chanting. The screaming of innocent victims. One-hundred of them.

"I tried to talk some sense into you that night." Tarsus' voice is soft, their silver eyes burning with intensity. "I tried to talk some sense into you, but that only made you paranoid of me. Since Abaddon was your number one supporter, you clung to him." They blink. And something seems to break in their eyes. Some invisible wall they'd built around their heart. Because of me.

"I'm sorry." Without thinking, I reach across the table and cover their hand with mine. They tense, but don't pull away. To my utter shock, they curl their fingers around mine and give them a gentle squeeze. The small gesture speaks volumes about how far we've come in such a short time.

"And no one can stop her, except me?" I ask, looking back at Wolfsbane.

Wolfsbane shrugs and lifts their chalice to their lips, draining the goblet. "I tried. Mother Terra demanded I pay my loyalty in 's blood."

I flinch. "Why , specifically?"

Wolf swallows and sets their empty chalice down. " is the one who made me see humans as equals. Made me care for them." They look at , their black eyes softening. "I never cared much for humans, and sacrifices were easy for me. Once Mother Terra sensed my growing affection for all humans, especially , she deemed me soft and unworthy."

I blink. "And you think she'll deem me stronger than you? Worthier than you?" I choke out a laugh and gesture angrily with my four-fingered hand. "In case you all forgot, I am a human!"

"Yes," Hemlock says. "But it's your choice. No one is making you do this."

My choice. It's always been my choice.

Go into the volcano. Convince Mother Terra to calm her temper and cease her demands for human sacrifices. I'll most likely die in the process, but it doesn't look like I have much of an option. It's either me…or . And I'll never be able to live with myself if I don't at least try to talk some sense into Mother Terra.

My four-fingered fists clench and unclench under the table. I think of Dad at home, risking his life every day to fight the demonic bat-folk. Apparently, they only came to our home to seek me out for help. I'm here now. After I help everyone on the continent, the bats will stop seeking me out. will be safe. And these folks will hopefully let me go home.

Negotiating with Mother Terra is the only way I'll get to live the peaceful human life that I didn't even know I wanted.

I'll do this for Dad. I'll do it for —because there's no way in fucking hell I'm letting anyone toss him into the volcano. And I guess…I guess I'm doing it for Tarsus too. No matter how cruel they were to me, I get that I was ten times worse to them in the past. It's understandable why they don't trust me.

I look at them, squeeze their hand that's still clutched in mine. I'm doing this for them, too.

Standing from my chair, I look at Wolfsbane. "What are we waiting for? Lead the way, Sovereign."

*

When I first stepped into the volcano over a week ago, everything was foreign to me. I had no recollection of any part of my past life—at least not until I picked up my father's gold-encrusted skull. That was the first moment I felt any sense of my past self. But as I walk through the damp cavernous halls now, the sulfur hanging heavy in the air, I see flashes in my memory, flashes of something that could only be my past, as if the silent, steady walls pressing in on me dredge up the memories.

I remember walking these inky black halls of the cavern as a child, my father, holding a large torch while leading the procession of bone witches, priests, guards, and one bound human, ready to be tossed into the fiery pits. I remember how everyone in the procession wore skulls of strange creatures as masks, how they used bones as mallets upon their drums—which were fashioned from the stretched, dried skin of their enemies.

In my memory, I see myself as a child and my father as the king. But the deeper we travel into the cavern, my memory shifts. I'm the one wearing the Crown of Teeth, my antlers reaching through the ringlet toward the black cavernous ceiling. I'm the one holding the fiery torch, leading the procession. And it's not one, but one-hundred humans bound together by shredded rope as they're led to their deadly fates in the heart of the volcano.

I see flashes of Tarsus racing in, once we'd arrived at the sacrificial altar, the pained look in their eyes, the way they shouted at me that this was not necessary. I remember being hurt by them, because everything I was doing was for them. It was so we could be together without fear of my father or fear of the Solar Empire taking over. I wanted to rule with Tarsus, but all Tarsus could think about were these pathetic humans who didn't even have a place in our realm.

Abaddon marched beside me, a steady wall of support. My ally. He swore to fight with me if the Solar Sovereign, Elderberry, ever attacked. He's the one who ordered his bat warriors to gather the hundred humans and bring them here for the sacrifice—including several humans from my own palace. The older ones. The ones who weren't as aesthetically pleasing as the younger. I flinch, thinking of Marcus. Of his parents who I slaughtered.

I stood at the ledge over the lake of lava, uttering my prayers to Mother Terra, preparing to shove the first human in, when Tarsus—realizing I wouldn't listen to them—shoved me in.

The fear that clutched my throat as I fell to my death was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. But stronger than that fear was fury that my lover chose the lives of mortals over me—his sovereign.

Thank the gods, Abaddon swooped down and rescued me just before I hit the lava, but not before burns from the heat seared my skin. I had Tarsus bound and taken back to the palace to be dealt with later, and then I threw every single human into the fiery lake below.

And I enjoyed every moment of it.

"You know, I'm honestly not sure whether to buy this little act of yours or not." Wolfsbane's voice cuts into my memories as we venture deeper into the heart of the grumbling mountain. I shudder as Ash falls in step on my other side, a silent, predatory presence that I honestly could do without in this dark, cold cave.

"It's not an act," I say. "And I think you know that."

Their dark, star-flecked gaze slides to mine. "I knew you when you were a child. When we were both children. You were pure, then. We'd climb the rocks of the caverns, explore the caves while your father and my grandmother performed the sacrificial rituals. The person I see in front of me is the same lighthearted boy I once knew."

The path, clear of anything but pebbles, plunges deeper into the belly of the mountain. I clutch the torch tighter, slightly terrified that it will slip from my clammy palms and snuff out on the cavern floor, leaving me in complete darkness.

Wolfsbane locks their hands behind their back and looks forward toward the yawning darkness ahead. "I didn't know you when you'd turned into the power-hungry bastard, as Hemlock claims. I want to trust my instincts about you. But I also want to trust my partner, who leans more towards Tarsus' suspicions about you."

I swallow the sudden dryness in my throat. "I appreciate your…belief in me. Not that any of it matters now. Either Mother Terra will end me the moment she sees me, or Tarsus will end me the moment I've done my work."

"Unless you come out the powerful Spine Sovereign we all fear," Wolf says.

I hadn't bothered entertaining that fear any longer than a few moments. Because the thought of being trapped in Sovereign Clavicle's cruel, sadistic mind sounds so much worse than death.

"If I come out as Sovereign Clavicle," I say, my voice low. "Swear to me you'll kill me the moment I step out of the caves."

"We won't be able to," Ash says, her voice much too cheery for a vampire inside a cave, whose russet eyes now glow a bright red against the darkness. "Mother Terra, if she restores your powers, will make sure you re-emerge as the most powerful sovereign in the Five Empires."

"Then I suppose you should have traps waiting for me at the mouth of the cave."

Ash snorts. "As if Abaddon will let us anywhere near the cave. Once Wolf and I step out, there will be bats guarding this cave, protecting their sovereign within."

We continue on in silence. Wolfsbane studies me, those inky black eyes seeming to absorb the torchlight. But despite their eerie appearance, their energy makes me feel safe. For some reason I don't understand, I know that I can trust them.

"I can see why you and have developed such a strong relationship," I say to the Terra Sovereign.

Wolfsbane blinks, and even in their black gaze, I can see a hint of surprise by the arch of their brows before they look forward, into the heart of the cavern. " is the one who opened my eyes to see humans as equals and not beneath us. When my Shadow threatened to drown me in evil, was there to stretch out his hand and help me keep my humanity."

The path grows steeper as we travel down, down, down into the waiting abyss. My calves are burning from the sharp decline, my mouth parched.

"Before ," Wolfsbane is saying, "every human I'd ever known cowered in my presence. I saw them as mindless drones going about their work. I know now, they were only terrified for their lives, and trying their best to remain invisible while doing the duties expected of them." Wolf shrugs. "You were ambitious, even as a child, but you were also innocent. It's how I know you're telling the truth—that you don't remember anything from your past self."

"You…believe me?" I ask.

Wolf nods, a muscle jerking in their jaw. "The person standing before me now is very similar to the young Clavicle who accompanied his father to the sacrifices, but cared nothing for them. You didn't have a hunger for power, Clavicle, until you had something—or rather, someone—worth protecting." They run their hand down their braid. "It was when you let that power blind you of the reason you wanted it in the first place that you turned…evil." They shrug. "At least, that's what I gathered from Tarsus and Hemlock. I was taken from my palace when I was still a child, and shoved into temple where I would remain as a protected virgin until Elderberry claimed me as his own while all that with you and Tarsus hashed out."

I shudder. told me how Wolfsbane was stripped from their family and home at such a young age, and the first thing they did when they got out was sell their soul to some deadly Shadow magic in order to get revenge on the Sovereign who imprisoned them. Only in the past few months did they find some semblance of normalcy with Hemlock and Ash. Now they finally have their throne back, only to have their entire empire threatened to be buried beneath ash and smoke.

I guess…I guess I'm doing this for Wolf, too, then.

Abaddon appears at the end of the hall when we reach the place where sacrifices are usually held, the river of lava making the large cavern glow. Once a terrifying monster, the love and reverence in Abaddon's expression only warms me. Extending those large, leathery wings, he draws me into a firm embrace.

"Are you okay?" he asks, his voice deep as his chest rumbles comfortingly against my ear. But I shove him away, despite how warm he is.

"You lied to me."

He blinks and takes a startled step back, his upturned nose scrunching in disgust, glossy black eyes narrowing. "Did Tarsus already get inside your head?"

"Tarsus is trying to end the human sacrifices. You knew that, and you knew that if you'd given me that information, I wouldn't have marched into battle with you."

His jaw hardens. "And that's exactly why I didn't tell you." He gives me a disgusted once-over. "You're confined to a weak human body, with all those unpredictable human emotions, and no memory of the powerful Sovereign you used to be. Once you have your powers back, though, Clavicle, you'll understand why I withheld information about Tarsus. You'll understand why we had to march against Tarsus. And you'll understand why must be thrown into the volcano."

Fear clutches at my throat, because what if Abaddon is right? What if this cruel creature inside me re-emerges into the infamous Prince of Ruin and I destroy the people I've come to love? What if, instead of listening to my plea, Mother Terra returns my powers and memories to me, and demands I hand over?

No. I can't think about that right now. If it comes to that, I'll fight with everything within me to keep my human heart intact.

"Show me where to go."

Wolfsbane and Ash say their goodbyes. I guess Mother Terra doesn't want them in her depths, since they won't heed her wishes to sacrifice . And it's just me and Abaddon. I won't be surprised if he tosses me into the lava himself, but despite our argument, he seems genuinely concerned for me.

"Did they feed you?" he asks, casting a sidelong glance at my body.

"One big hot meal a day."

He grunts in dissatisfaction. "Our Sovereign deserves so much more. Where did you sleep?"

"In the guest room." I don't mention the prison cell. I don't need anymore feuds between the bat king and Tarsus.

"Did they beat you?"

"No. They didn't touch me." Another lie. Tarsus touched me in the best way possible, but Abaddon doesn't need to know that. I'm not sure how possessive he is, or how jealous. There's enough going on with having to meet with Mother Terra and then getting back home to the human realms as soon as possible. I don't need one more thing to go wrong.

Although…thinking about returning to the human realms makes a pit form in my stomach. It's all I wanted since the first time I arrived in this realm. Those ancient memories that haunt my nightmares tell me I don't want to be here. I don't want to become the king I once was.

So why does my heart sink at the thought of leaving all this behind? Tarsus will never see me as more than a traitor. could always come to the human realms and visit me. Why do I feel such a connection to a place that has caused me nothing but pain?

We venture deeper into the pit of the volcano, the corridors becoming denser and smaller as we travel. And silence. It's so quiet that if I couldn't hear Abaddon breathing beside me, I would wonder if I was even awake, or trapped in some dream-state. There aren't any battle drums, no chanting like there was that night I was first brought to the cavern. All the bats fled due to the volcano's fury.

I'm not usually claustrophobic, but knowing this mountain could collapse at any moment, with the understanding that if Abaddon left, I could get lost in these caverns forever, my chest becomes tight.

"Breathe," Abaddon coaxes gently, and I feel his wing extend around me, a wall of comfort. "One breath at a time."

I suck air into my lungs, counting to three before releasing it to steady my rapid heartbeat.

An orange glow appears ahead, and I follow it until we step out of the corridor and arrive at a ledge, the drop off leading to a stream of lava. I can feel the heat from all the way up here and I take a startled step back, only to crash into Abaddon's firm form. My heart stops, as I consider whether I'm the human Abaddon intends to throw into the volcano as sacrifice.

His large wings flaring, he grips my shoulders with his talons to keep me from stumbling in.

"Carefully, Clavicle," he says, and I swear, I can hear a hint of concern in his deep voice. "We didn't bring you all this way only to throw yourself in."

A nervous chuckle bounces out of me. "Where to?"

"I can't go any further," he says as he releases my shoulders. His black eyes glitter in the torchlight when they meet mine. And in any other circumstances, standing in the heart of a volcano with only the lava as my light and a massive, eight foot beast with wings and talons standing before me, I think I would pass out. This…I can handle this.

But meeting with some sadistic goddess who wants humans dead, that's a different story.

"Y-you mean I have to go the rest of the way alone?"

He jerks his chin down the ledge, where stone protrudes from the cliff face, just enough for one person to walk down. "Follow the path. It will lead you to the Heart of Faerie."

My chest constricts. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Reaching out, he places his talon on my cheek, tenderly caressing me. "On your first day as a human in these realms, with no memories of your past life, you flew into battle on a wyvern, leading an army of bat folk. You faced the Spine Regent head-on." He leans down until his lips are mere inches from mine. "You fucked a creature who could only be described as a demon in your human world."

I'm engulfed with the memories of that night we fucked, and warmth fills me. Reaching up, I cover his cheek with my hand, running my fingers down the downy softness of it.

"You're braver than you give yourself credit, little boy."

That familiar warmth spreads through my belly at his nickname for me, and I lean in, brush my lips across his, because I might never see him again. And even if he lied, there's a part of me that's wildly attracted to this beast before me.

"What if she doesn't listen?" I ask against his lips, hating how my voice has become hoarse with fear.

"You're the only one she would listen to."

I release a humorless chuckle. "Even in my mortal body?"

His inky black eyes roam down my face, black ribbed ears twitching. "Maybe she will turn you back into a fae."

That makes my stomach roll. I don't want Sovereign Clavicle's memories.

"I don't want to become him."

He strokes his talon over my cheek, wiping away a runaway tear that I didn't realize I was shedding, and that furrow between his brows deepens.

"He's not so terrible, Clav. He had reasons for how he behaved. Maybe you'll understand them if you become fae again."

Hopefully Wolfsbane or Ash will end me before I even get to that point.

"If I die tonight," I whisper. "Please make peace with Tarsus."

His snout crinkles.

"And," I add, "don't lay a gods-damned finger on ."

His brows raise. "If you're unable to stop Mother Terra, then 's sacrifice is the only thing that could save us. Otherwise you'll lose all of us, including Tarsus." His brows push together, his lips curling over those white fangs. "If you don't want me to touch your little human toy, then you'd better convince Mother Terra to end her demands for human blood. Fuck her, if you need to. Eat out her rotted, root-infested cunt. Because if you don't succeed, Clavicle, will be her next meal, and you and I both know he'll leap in on his own accord, no force necessary from anyone."

A chill spider-walks down my spine. He's right, of course. would sacrifice himself for all Five Empires before he'd let Mother Terra destroy them.

"Follow the path," Abaddon growls, jerking his chin down the narrow ledge that runs along the river of lava. "You'll come to a dead end, a clearing. Like a little nook in the face of the cliff side. That's the deepest part of the mountain you could reach." His eyes meet mine. "But to reach a goddess, you must also enter the spirit world."

I blink several times. "Excuse me?" I'm not exactly religious, despite both my parents being on extreme sides of the religious spectrum.

"You'll calm your mind through meditation. Surely Mandi taught you how to spirit journey."

She did when I was very young. It was a fun exercise we did together, one of the few things we bonded over. I'd spirit journey to large, sun-kissed snow-capped mountains that seemed to be humming as they sloped down into the cobalt river weaving a path in the valley. Above, large birds flew overhead.

But as the memory hits me, I realize the place I'd spirit-journeyed to was…here. Not inside the volcano, but outside of it, before its peaks were charred black and smoke blocked out the sun. And the birds above…they'd always seemed larger than life. Almost a monstrous size, their wings like bats.

I draw in a sharp breath and glance at Abaddon. I'd spirit-journeyed here as a child. To these realms. Somehow, my spirit was able to transcend the walls that separated our world from theirs. I often thought it was just my imagination, but now I realize…it was all real.

"Now go." He stares at me a beat longer, and its clear in his eyes that he's worried for me. "I'll see you again, Clavicle."

His promise seems to be more of a reassurance to me. To him. But I nod, and offering him one more glance, I turn and begin my journey down the narrow ledge that goes down, down, down toward the red-orange river of lava glowing below.

It seems to take forever to reach the clearing Abaddon was talking about. The heat from the lava river rises up to meet me, the scent of sulfur growing thicker, threatening to choke me. The path, too, seems to grow narrower, until I'm almost convinced Abaddon sent me down the wrong path.

But I find it. A small nook, just as Abaddon described it. It looks like a fire was built here not too long ago, but now it's nothing but a pile of charred branches. There are two small stone boulders on either side of the fire, so I take a seat on one. My heart is pounding. My forehead prickles with sweat. It's hot down here, what, with lava just thirty feet below.

Focus.

I've watched Mandi spirit journey often enough that even if she'd never taught me, I'd know how to do it. Crossing my legs on the boulder, I rest my hands on my knees, close my eyes, and inhale a breath of sulfur and steam. Slowly releasing it, I release all my worries, my doubts, my fears.

And inhale again.

Mandi usually uses a bodhrán to get there. The steady beat of the drum is like crack to the busy brain. So I pat my hands against my knees and focus on the steady beat. Worrying about how long it takes to start the journey only makes it take longer, so I focus, focus, focus on the beat of my hands and nothing more.

Visions begin playing behind my lids. I'm a child again, walking through the field outside the Skull Palace. The sun is shining in a way I haven't seen it in this realm, due to the volcano smoke and ash constantly hanging in the air. The fields span across rolling hills, blooming with clover flowers. The scent of spring and fresh dirt after a rain fills my senses.

I don't seem to have a care in the world as I race through the fields. But when I turn around and spot the Skull Palace behind me, dread forms a fist in my stomach. The palace, to my child self, is filled with darkness and fear. It's a place I must return to every night, as a prince, but a place that terrifies the hell out of me. A place where an abusive father takes his anger out on his son, where a mother sits in her chair reading a book, not caring that her son is crunched into a ball on the floor while his father kicks him in the ribs.

Father storms across the room, shovels up hot embers from the fire, then marches back and throws them onto my frail body. Searing hot pain explodes across my skin, blinding me. Still, mother doesn't even look up from her book.

Maybe mother was too sick to step in. Maybe she was afraid that if she stepped in, he would kill us both. Or maybe she truly didn't care.

My dream blurs, time passes, and soon, I'm back in the field of clovers, far outside the palace walls. I'm running, the wind blowing through my shaggy hair, the shadow before me depicting an older kid with youth antlers. This time when I turn around, the palace doesn't seem so bad. It's still a looming tower of darkness and fear, but standing in front of it is a teen who I'd lay down my life for.

Their long white locks whip in the wind, their antlers like mine—polished and fine—poking through their blanket of long white hair. They wear flowing amethyst robes that tug at their lean body. Their silver eyes are filled with love when they look at me. A love I'd never encountered from anyone until I met them.

The palace looms behind them, terrifying and cold, but their eyes beckon me and tell me everything is going to be okay. It will all work out according to the universe's will. I step toward them, try to run to them, but the wind is strong, whipping at my body and pulling me back. I try to shout their name, but my voice is carried away in the wind.

Then there's darkness.

When I open my eyes again, I'm sitting in that nook. Before me, a fire crackles where only burnt branches were before. And across the fire, sits an old woman with black pits for eyes, rotted teeth, and two wiry white braids falling down her shoulders.