14. Liam

Inearly made it out, but then she asked, Don’t you want me?

That is the problem. I want her. Desperately. The thought of leaving her makes it hard to breathe. So, I do what I shouldn’t. I give in. It’s a fucking rotten thing to do, touch her when I know that I’m going to leave. I’m a selfish bastard to take her one last time.

I sink into her, and it’s like heaven. She”s hot and wet, but it’s more than eroticism. It’s like all the broken bits of me fuse back together. She’s the glue that makes me whole. But what’s that rule in science about every action having an equal and opposite reaction? She makes me whole, but in doing so, I break her.

Maybe if I’d been squeaky clean in the FBI, she and I might have had a chance. But my world is dark and gritty and brutal. Hers is light and sunny. I can’t bring her into the dark as that would ruin the parts of her that I love the most. Fuck. Love.

I’m sure Niko, and for sure Donovan, would argue that I should take what I want. They did. Fucking hell, Niko kidnapped Elena while she was standing at the altar to marry someone else. Donovan kidnapped Lucy as well. I have no doubts that Elena and Lucy are with Niko and Donovan by choice, but it started with Niko and Donovan taking what they wanted. I can’t do that to Kate.

Elena and Lucy grew up as Mafia princesses. They know how to navigate this world. Kate has had a crash course in organized crime life, but she still doesn’t truly know what’s involved. And she doesn’t want to live in it.

My injury hurts like a sonofabitch, and I roll us over so she’s on top. It’s stupid, but I think in this position, I’m able to give her control. I’m submitting to her.

She moves over me, and it’s the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. Her eyes watch me, and I don’t hold back what her touch does to me. It’s the least I can give her, considering everything. I let her feel how her touch electrifies me. I moan and growl as her moves make my dick so hard it’s a wonder he doesn’t come out of his skin.

Her tits sway, her nipples pink, hard pebbles that I want to suck, but sitting up will cause too much pain, so I tweak them with my fingers. Each time I do, her pussy squeezes my cock. It’s fucking fantastic.

“Make yourself come.” I need to see the pleasure on her face as she comes. I need to know that she’s had one moment of good in this shitshow of a life she’s had for nearly the last year. “Ride me hard, baby. I want to see you come.”

She lets go, and her body moves like magic. Like she’s a goddess. I’m so not worthy, but I”m an asshole enough to not care at this moment.

I tilt my hips as she sinks down on me again, hitting her deeper, in that one place women love. I know this because she throws her head back, exposing the graceful column on her neck. She cries out, and her pussy tightens around my dick like a vise. I grit my teeth to keep her from pulling me over with her because I don’t want to miss a single moment of her pleasure.

Her breath shudders as she comes down. Her eyes clear as she looks down on me.

She bites her lip. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” How is it possible that I’ve already made her feel bad or uncertain? More proof that I’m not good for her.

“You haven’t finished.”

“That’s not your fault.”

“But if—” She rocks over me, and I groan.

“I’m close, baby. But I wanted to wait. I wanted to see you.”

“You did?”

I nod, withholding how the image of my goddess shining in orgasmic bliss was seared in my brain so I’d always remember from this day until my last breath. “I did. You’re beautiful.”

Her smile feels like a gift. One I don’t deserve. It makes me uncomfortable, so I flip us over and sink into her again.

“But if I don’t come soon, my dick is going to die.”

She wraps her legs around me. “Can’t have that.”

At first, I take my time, realizing I’ve never done that with her. It’s just been fast and furious with no finesse. But my orgasm is clawing at me. I can’t hold back, so I let go. I give in to the need as I drive in and out of her, ignoring the pain from my wound. It seems apropos that any pleasure I have be mixed with pain, anyway.

“Oh, God…” She gasps and arches. Her pussy pulses around me. She’s going to come again. I hope to hell I can hold off until then. I want to feel her orgasm on my dick, to have that be the thing that finally puts me over.

I lean over, sucking her nipple into my mouth.

She cries out, and her legs tighten around me, as does her pussy. Stars burst behind my eyes. Coiled up power surges through me, through my dick. I release everything I am. For this one moment, she has all of me. She probably doesn’t know it. That’s a good thing because if she did, she might fight harder to make me stay. Worse, I realize that she could succeed. I’m powerless around her.

I collapse over her, wanting to pull her close but knowing I can’t. I give myself one split second to imprint her in my mind. Her scent. Her soft skin. Her voice. And then I roll out of bed and start to dress. It guts me to see her crestfallen face.

She watches me, tugging the sheets over her beautiful body. She’s a fighter. I know it because she’s trying not to cry. Good, because I’m not worth crying over.

When I’m dressed, I look at her in the bed. Regret threatens to eat me alive. “Do as Donovan and Lucy tell you. You’ll be safe and be able to live a normal life.”

She doesn’t respond.

I suck in a breath. “Don’t try to find me.”

“Why would I do that?”

Her words kill something inside me even as they give me hope that she’ll be able to move on and be happy. “No reason.” I feel like I should say something more. Have a good life. Be happy. I’m sorry. I love you.

Instead, I exit her room and head downstairs. My insides are twisted and mangled, yearning for me to return to her so she can make me right.

“Liam.” Niko calls out to me as I start across the foyer to the front door.

“Something wrong?” I ask as he approaches me.

“I don’t know. You tell me.”

My eyes narrow, not understanding what he’s trying to say. “You know the drill.”

“I do.” He studies me. “Look, I know you’re a private guy and it’s none of my business, but both Elena and Lucy think there’s something between you and Kate.”

God, did he know what I’d just done? “Oh, for fuck’s sake.” I don’t need this. Not now. Not when my heart is shattering into bits in front of his eyes.

“I know, I know… but if it’s true?—”

“There’s nothing.” The lie tastes like vinegar in my mouth. “She might have a little crush, but that’s only because she sees me as a hero or something. And it’s over now. She hates me. She’d much rather be with you.”

“What about you, though?”

I shrug like I don’t feel a fucking thing.

He arches a brow. “I know you, Liam. I’ve known you since we started shaking down our classmates in grade school.”

The memory is sweet and a reminder of why it was probably foolish to go into the FBI considering I was raised in the criminal world and clearly had taken to it at a young age.

“You’ve always been intense and secretive, but… I see it too. There’s something about Kate?—”

“She’s an innocent woman you asked me to protect. Everything I’ve done was for you so Elena could have her friend back.” I work to keep my anger down that much of Kate’s problems now stem from Elena. “And it’s turned into a shit show. She doesn’t deserve all that’s happened to her. And who’s going to fix it? You?”

His eyes narrow with heat. “What the fuck?”

“Look, I’m happy that you’ve found your queen. I get that you want to make her happy. But don’t pretend that you wouldn’t get rid of Kate, one way or another, if any of this shit got close to Elena.”

“I see a bit of me in you, Liam. You’re as fiercely protective of Kate as I am of Elena. Why is that?”

I wish I fucking knew. “Because I have a duty to protect her. A duty bestowed on me by you. Now let me finish it so she can go one damn day without fear.”

He raises his hands in surrender. “I’m not stopping you.”

“Then what the fuck?”

“I’m trying to tell you that we’ll take care of Kate while you’re gone, but if you love her, you owe it to yourself to come back to her. You know as much as I do that this life will suck the sunshine out until you’re only a dark hole.”

“What about what she deserves? She doesn’t deserve a life that sucks the sunshine out?—”

“Love, Liam. Love is the sunshine.”

“I am an eclipse. I’m not good for her. Let it go.”

He watches me for a moment and then steps back. Thank God, because I need to get out of here.

“We’ll keep Kate safe, Liam. You have my word.”

I give a dismissive wave and walk away, leaving my heart behind.