13. Kate

It’s been two days since Robbie dropped me off with Lucy and Donovan. I can’t deny that the company is nicer, but I’ve been worried about Liam. Donovan has assured me that Liam is fine, but until I see him, how will I know?

An hour ago, I had my answer when Lucy showed up to my room.

“Liam is coming for a meeting.”

My heart leapt at the idea of seeing him, but then I chastised myself for feeling happy about it. It’s not like he was coming to see me. As far as I knew, he’d never asked about me.

I hear a commotion and walk across the hall to an upstairs library, looking out the window as Artyom and Liam step out of a dark SUV.

I can’t stop the pang of yearning in my heart. I want to reach out and push the stray dark hair off his forehead. I want to soothe the haunted expression in his face. He winces as he straightens, reminding me that I’d wounded him and he isn’t at full capacity. Would he carry on this war when he isn’t strong enough?

By now, I’ve been around organized crime families enough to know that I can’t run down and see him. Business comes first. Women are supposed to stand aside. Well, except for Lucy, who is as much in charge of the business as Donovan is. But she’s an exception.

So, I return to my room, waiting, hoping he”ll come see me. That he’ll demand I have to go with him. The feminist in me is shocked by that, but my heart can’t stop believing that I’m supposed to be with him.

It seems like forever before there’s a knock on my door and it opens to show Liam. His expression is dark, and for a moment, I’m worried he’s angry at me for shooting him. For causing all the problems I’ve caused. For making him leave the FBI.

I close my eyes, half expecting him to shoot me like he’d killed the man who’d drugged me.

“Can’t stand the sight of me? I don’t blame you.” The darkness fades, replaced by weariness. He almost looks like that man I’d met and fallen for all those months ago.

“No. I just… I never know which Liam I’m going to encounter.”

He sighs as he shoves his hands into his pockets and walks to the window. “When I killed Peprov, I was forced to make a decision—go to prison or take over the Bratva. I choose the latter.”

I suppose I can’t blame him. Prison doesn’t sound like fun. Still, being a criminal… “Why?”

He doesn’t respond at first. “You’ve been targeted because of me. For that reason, you need to stay here with Lucy and Donovan. They won’t fuck with the Fioris or the Leones. And with me gone, the attraction to get to me through you will go away.”

Tears form in my eyes as his tone sounds so permanent. “For how long?”

“Shouldn’t be too long. You’ll be back living your own life. Lucy and Donovan will continue to protect you, but you’ll be able to live in the regular world.”

“What about you?”

“I’m going to eliminate the danger and run the Bratva.”

“That’s not what I meant. When will I see you again?”

He sucks in a long breath. “You won’t.”

My heart stops. “Never?”

He finally turns to look at me. I swear to God, I see pain in his eyes, so why is he doing this? “Never.”

“That’s not what I want.” Funny how just a few days ago, I wanted away from him, and now the idea of it, of never seeing him, is something I can’t live with.

“I have nothing to offer you, Kate.”

“That’s not true.” Panic is rising. He’s he really going to walk out on me?

“You know now that I’m no hero FBI agent. I was dirty. Now, I’m a killer running a criminal organization. You’re in danger as long as you’re with me.”

“Lucy and Elena are in that world. Why aren’t I in danger with them?”

His eyes close. “They can protect you until you’re in your new life. It’s all arranged.”

“Arranged.”

“You can do whatever… go wherever. Soon, you’ll be in command of your life.”

“Except seeing you.”

He nods. “It was selfish of me to touch you, to think there might be…”

I wait for him to finish, but he doesn’t.

“Might be what?””

“It’s not important. What’s important is that soon, you’ll be safe and living your own life, just like you wanted.” He starts toward the door, but I rush to it, blocking him from leaving.

“Move, Kate.”

I hear anguish in his tone, or maybe it’s just my own heartbreak.

“For so long, you were the only person who was there for me. Who I felt safe with?—”

“That’s not me anymore.” He starts to reach for the door, but I cover the knob with my hand.

“That’s not true. I’m sorry I didn’t follow your rules.”

His lips twitch upward. “You followed one. Shoot first.”

“I’m sorry about that. I didn’t?—”

“I’m not angry. I’m glad you had the fight and wherewithal to protect yourself.”

I look at him, hoping he can see how much I need him reflected in my eyes. “If I promise to follow the rules, will you stay?”

“I can’t.”

I’m feeling anxious… needy… like all my nerves are firing in panic that he’s about to walk out of my life. “Stay with me. Please.”

His hand presses against my cheek. “I’m sorry?—”

“You’re the Boss. You can do whatever you want. Don’t you want me?” I hate how desperate I sound. My only saving grace is that I haven’t come right out and told him I’m in love with him.

“More than anything.” His gaze sears mine.

“Then stay.”

My breath holds as I wait for him to make his decision. He closes the distance between us, his mouth fusing to mine as he presses me against the door.

Yes, finally, is all I can think. I don’t understand why he works so hard to hide himself from me. When he lets go, he’s everything I want and need.

He lifts his head to say something, but I press my fingers over his lips, not wanting to hear that this is a mistake or whatever he’s planning on saying. He takes my wrist, kissing the inside of it. Once again, I’m in limbo, worried he’s about to change his mind. Instead, he wraps his arm around me and pulls me toward the bed.

Our hands are feverish as we work our clothes off. Liam winces as his shirt comes off, and that’s when I see the bandage.

Guilt rips through me. “I’m sorry?—”

“Don’t.” He pushes me back on the bed, opening me to him. There’s no foreplay. No preamble. He thrusts and is deep inside me. Good. This is exactly what I need right now.

He stills, his forehead resting against mine as he pulses with life inside me. He kisses me and then rolls us until I’m over him.

“Take what you want… what you need.”

I’m not sure what he means, but I rise over him, rocking gently, watching his reaction. I want to tell him so much. How glad I am that he’s in my life. How much I appreciate all he’s done to protect me. How from the moment I met him, I felt a part of him, him a part of me. But the words elude me. Or more accurately, I’m afraid the words will drive him away. So instead, I use my body, riding him, touching him, edging closer and closer to climax. Each time I’m nearly there, I stop, not wanting this night to end.

“Make yourself come.” His voice is gravelly with need. “Ride me hard, baby… I want to see you come.”

As much as I want to draw this moment out, I can’t deny him. I start to ride faster, harder until I’m on the precipice. I sink down over his granite hard length that hits something inside me that shoots me off like a rocket. I throw my head back and cry out as pleasure sweeps gloriously through me. Even as the feeling is spectacular, it”s bittersweet as I have no illusion that this changes anything for him. Deep down, I know he”s going to break my heart again.