57 - Joanna

57

Joanna

When we reached the resort, everyone was gone from the beach where the fight had happened. But we could hear noise by the pool; it sounded like the entire party was there.

"I think we can avoid them if we go around the jerk shack to the left," I said.

Landon shook his head. "I have a better idea. Do you trust me?"

"For the sake of simplicity, let's say yes."

"Then follow my lead. Smile and laugh."

He held my hand and we walked up the path from the beach to the resort. The route to our suite took us right by the pool… and sure enough, the dozen members of the wedding party were all there having drinks. Slowly, they all grew quiet as they saw us coming. The only ones missing seemed to be Austin and Theo.

"Did you seriously do that in college?" Landon asked me with a chuckle.

I made myself laugh along with him. "I was young! I didn't know chemistry would be hard!"

The two of us giggled as we walked by in full view of the party. It wasn't hard; we were still baked from the edibles, so the laughter was genuine. Every pair of eyes followed us until we were out of sight.

"Nice," I said. "They'll see that everything is fine between us."

"Step one of my plan is complete. Time for step two."

"Which is?" I asked.

"I need to send a group text to everyone."

When we reached our suite, Landon stretched out in bed and began formulating a message in his Notes app. While he did that, I sat cross-legged next to him and sent a different text.

Me : Okay. Here's what's up.

Austin : There she is.

Theo : When you weren't answering our texts, we started to panic. We've been hiding in our rooms since the fight.

Austin : The fallout from the fight was… dramatic. Nobody knows what's going on, Joanna.

Me : Landon and I have a plan. Say hi, Landon.

Landon : Hi, Landon.

Austin : Glad y'all can joke around while everything else is chaos.

Theo : So, what's the plan? Are you going to tell the truth?

Austin : I hope not. Hiring a random girl to be your girlfriend is awfully embarrassing.

Theo : Right?

Me : Landon is sending out a mass text to everyone at the resort with us. We're going to say that Landon and I aren't exclusive. We're both dating other people while dating each other. Like an open relationship before we agree to be exclusive. That's the best way for everyone to save face.

Austin : Polyamory is trendy right now.

Theo : No kidding. One of my patients is a 52 year old woman. As soon as the kids went off to college, she and her husband opened up their relationship. Now she has two boyfriends on the side, and he has a girlfriend.

Austin : Sounds confusing.

Theo : That's the crazy part! Somehow, it works! They're all happier than they've ever been!

Me : Let's not get carried away. Our story is supposed to be simple. Landon and I are dating, and seeing other people on the side until our relationship gets serious. How's that sound? Can you guys agree to that?

Theo : Sure. We've got the easy parts.

Austin : No problem.

Landon : Email sent. I'm going to take another edible and deal with this in the morning.

Theo : Oh shit! Where'd you get edibles?

Me : We went into Falmouth to get away from all the drama. Also, Landon and I slept together.

Austin : !!!!!

Theo : Oh daaaaaaaaamn

Austin : Welcome to the Joanna party, Landon. Grab a beer and pick a hole. She's got three to choose from.

Me : OMG.

Landon : Ahahahahahahaha

Theo : LOL

Austin : I don't really have a filter right now. I had a single glass of whiskey and now I'm drunk.

Me : I guess that's our fault for lowering your tolerance with fake drinks all week.

Theo : Fake drinks. Fake relationships. Next you're going to tell me your boobs are fake.

Me : All natural, baby.

Landon : One thing that wasn't fake was the punch you threw. That shit hurt, dude!

Theo : My bad. I was trying to pull my punches but you kind of leaned into it.

Landon : I'm not good at fighting, fake or otherwise.

Theo : My jaw says otherwise.

Austin : Oh shit. People are responding to the group text.

I shared a look with Landon, then switched over to the giant group text that he had started.

Landon : Hey, everyone. Joanna and I value our privacy, but everything has been thrown out in the open, so I wanted to take a moment to explain everything. Joanna and I have been dating for two months. Although it's getting pretty serious, neither of us is ready to date exclusively. Both of us have been free to see other people. All of this has happened with each other's consent. I'm sorry you all found out in such a public, dramatic way.

Marisa : OMG I had no idea!

Chloe : Then why did Landon seem upset when he found out?

Landon : I didn't know she was involved with Theo. I was surprised by that.

Me : We had sort of a don't-ask-don't-tell agreement regarding other people we were dating. But since Theo was part of the wedding party, I should have told Landon sooner.

Landon : It's all right now, though. Sorry for letting my temper get the best of me on the beach earlier.

Clark : Wow. Just wow.

Wanda : I'm so sorry! I didn't know!

Uncle Robert : That's going to leave a mark!

Bradyn : NOT THE TIME, UNCLE ROBERT.

Marisa : I'm sorry the details of your relationship became so public. That never should have happened.

Peter : Wanda definitely should have talked to you about it privately, rather than blurting it out while we were trying to take family photos.

Wanda : How was I supposed to know?

Theo : Glad we're all good. Sorry for ruining the honeymoon, everyone.

Austin : Ditto.

Bradyn : You guys didn't ruin anything.

Wanda : IT'S NOT MY FAULT! I was trying to be a good friend!

Me : We don't need to play the blame game. Let's just all go to bed and enjoy our last day in Jamaica tomorrow!

Danicka : Cheers to that.

"I kind of feel bad throwing Wanda under the bus," I said.

"I don't," Landon replied. "If she had just come talk to us privately, we could have avoided a lot of unnecessary pain. Instead, she made her accusation in front of everyone. She wanted drama, so here it is."

I read the texts a second time, then a third. "You know, I think this plan might actually work."

"I'll find out in the morning." Landon popped a gummy into his mouth. "I was serious about taking an edible and passing out."

I leaned over and gave him a soft kiss. "How about we start over tomorrow morning?"

"A fresh start," Landon said. "I like the sound of that."

There was no need to put up the pillow wall that night. We were both exhausted from all the drama, and fell asleep almost immediately. And when we woke the next morning, we were cuddling again.

It was nice.

The final day at the resort was relatively drama-free. Everyone apologized when they saw us at breakfast. On the way to the beach, Wanda came running up, bawling her eyes out and apologizing for everything. Apparently she hadn't slept at all last night because of how guilty she felt.

We forgave her, under the condition that she didn't bring it up again. We didn't see her again for the rest of the trip.

When we were on the beach, Marisa pulled up a chair and asked me for details. "I knew you and Austin were sharing looks! How long have you two been seeing each other?"

"We've only hooked up once, and it started here in Jamaica," I replied. It was easy since it was the truth. "It might be a one-time thing. I don't know."

"Nothing against Landon, but I hope you and Austin date," Marisa confided in me. "He's such a good guy. I would be so happy if he ended up with someone like you."

"Like me?"

"Someone amazing!" Marisa replied, leaning over to hug me. "I'm so glad you came on this trip, Joanna. You made it exciting!"

After that, everyone mostly left me alone. The funniest part was that they mostly bothered Theo by the pool. Everyone was enamored with the idea of him being a dentist, especially for the Chicago Blackhawks. And at dinner, Clark picked his brain about his dentistry practice while Chloe not-so-subtly tried to flirt with him. It was hilarious to watch.

I wanted to hook up with the guys that evening, but I knew it wouldn't be easy with everyone now aware of all the fun I was having. So we kept our distance. Even Landon and I went to bed early without fooling around since we had an early flight.

We took the same car service to the airport the next morning. The whole wedding party looked like zombies in the security line. Theo occasionally turned around and winked at me when nobody was looking, while Austin had some headphones on and was ignoring everyone.

Landon and I were the last two people in line. And my carry-on bag was pulled aside for additional screening. Landon waited with me, while Theo and Austin watched from twenty feet away.

"Why do I get the feeling they're standing there for a reason?" I asked.

Landon ignored my question and pretended to look at his phone.

Something is up, but I don't know what it is .

"This is your bag?" the security agent asked me.

"Yes, sir."

"Do you have any electronics or lithium batteries inside?"

"No, sir."

With gloved hands, he carefully unzipped and opened the bag. And there, sitting on top of my clothes, were two long objects.

A vibrator, and a butt plug.

The security agent looked down at the suitcase, looked up at me, and then picked up the vibrator with two fingers. Over to the side, Theo and Austin were snickering loudly.

I glared over at them.

"Ma'am, is this yours?" the agent asked.

"Sorry, yes, that's mine," I reluctantly said. The alternative was to admit that someone had tampered with my bag, which would probably end poorly. "I thought I put it in my checked bag."

The agent put the vibrator in a separate bin, then ran it through the metal detector a second time. He ignored the butt plug.

"What are you doing, Joanna?" Theo said, coming closer now.

"I hate you."

"Be serious," Theo replied. "This man is from the TSA. And no, that does not stand for Tushy Sex Administration."

"We're in Jamaica. The TSA is America only."

Theo grinned broadly. "Yeah, but the acronym is funnier this way."

Once they verified that the vibrator was not a security threat, I collected my bag and hurried along with the others right beside me. "I can't believe you did that!"

"Your face is bright red," Austin said.

"How?" I asked. "Did you slip them into my bag while the cars were being loaded at the resort?"

Theo wiggled his fingers in front of his face and said, "Magic."

"Theo delivered them to our room while you were in the shower this morning," Landon revealed.

"Aww man," Theo whined. "It would've been more fun if she had to keep guessing."

"You know, I think I'm going to stay single forever," I mused as we walked through the terminal. "I'm done dating."

"Then you'll definitely need that vibrator," Austin replied.

The four of us giggled on the way to the gate.