29 - Joanna

29

Joanna

The resort had three separate pool areas, nine bars, and eight restaurants. After taking a walk around the resort, we met Bradyn and Marisa down on the beach. There were rows of chairs nestled under the palm trees; there were plenty of open seats available, too.

A waitress took our drink orders as soon as we sat down. I told her to surprise me, and she returned with a frozen drink in a tall glass. It was layered: red at the bottom, yellow in the middle, and green on top.

"It's called a Bob Marley," she told me. "Three different types of rum."

"This is exactly what I needed!" I said after taking a sip.

Landon handed her a five dollar bill. "I'll take one too."

"Shoot, I didn't bring any cash," I said. "Is tipping expected?"

"Don't worry about it. I've got you covered. You're unemployed, after all."

I smiled sweetly at him. "I'll happily let you wear the fake pants in this fake relationship."

I laid out on the beach chair and listened to the soothing sound of the waves washing against the shore for a while. There was a nice breeze too, which pretty much canceled out the humidity.

Now that I was here, I felt all my worries melting away.

Until my brother Jack called me.

"What are you doing tomorrow night?" he immediately asked.

"Well…"

"I'll tell you what you're doing," he interrupted. "You're going to the Blackhawks game with your amazing brother, who is amazing because he scored two tickets in the lower bowl. Right behind the penalty box. We'll be able to taunt the opposing players! Did I mention I'm amazing?"

Groaning, I said, "I can't go."

"That's the wrong answer. The correct answer is: wow, you're so amazing, Jack, I'll cancel whatever dumb plans I have and go with you!"

"I'm in Jamaica right now."

There was a long pause on the line.

"I don't understand your style of humor. Is the punchline coming?"

"I'm in Jamaica with Landon Cozart."

Landon looked over from his chair. I waved him off.

My brother gasped. "Oh my God. Did you two hook up? You did, didn't you? And then he whisked you away to a romantic trip to Jamaica where you're spending the entire time drinking and boning and drinking?"

"Dude, gross!"

"I didn't intend for this to happen when I set up this whole fake-girlfriend thing," Jack said, "but in the back of my mind, I kind of hoped it would. Landon is a catch! He makes great money, he's good looking, and I've been told he has a dick the size of a Pringles can."

"Stop talking right now and allow me to explain," I snapped. I looked around to make sure nobody else was around to hear. "Landon and I didn't hook up. I got drunk at the wedding last night and kind of got invited."

There was another long pause.

"Why were you at the wedding?" Jack asked.

"Because Landon's mom liked me so much at the rehearsal dinner that she invited me. And I said yes without really thinking about it."

Another pause.

"I'm extremely confused right now," Jack said slowly. "The original deal I made for you was to have dinner with Landon and his family. Like, a week ago. You said his mom invited you to the wedding, but I didn't think you would go!"

"We're way past that," I said. "This whole situation has gotten really out of hand. I quit my job last night, too. Called my boss and told him to suck my dick. It was a whole thing."

Stretched out on the chair next to me, Landon began chuckling.

"And now you're in Jamaica," Jack said. "Like, the island in the Caribbean."

"That is correct."

"And you haven't hooked up with Landon."

"Also correct." Up the beach, Chloe and her boyfriend were walking in our direction. "I have to go. One of the other bridesmaids is coming and I don't want her to hear any of this."

"Wait, one of the other bridesmaids? Joanna, were you in Bradyn's wedding?"

"Love you bye," I quickly said. "Hey, Chloe!"

"This beach is stunning!" she said. "Mind if we join you?"

"Pull up a chair," Landon said.

We sat on the beach all afternoon, then got ready for dinner. It was kind of awkward alternating using the bathroom to shower and change, but we made it work.

Tonight we were eating at The Lobster Hut, which was an open-air restaurant on the second floor, overlooking the main pool and ocean. Danicka had gotten there early to reserve a table big enough for the core family: she and Clark, Marisa's parents, Bradyn and Marisa, me and Landon, and Carol and Theo. There were another two-dozen guests from the wedding staying at the resort this week, but there weren't any tables big enough to hold that many people.

"A toast," Clark said. "To the happy couple, and to everyone who came to Jamaica to celebrate with you. You're surrounded by a lot of love."

"Here, here!" Theo cheered.

The food was fresh and amazing, and the mood was pleasantly relaxed. Everyone was still worn out from the wedding, it seemed.

Austin and two other male guests were sitting at a nearby table. The waiter brought him a beer; after delivering it, I noticed the resort manager standing by the bar, watching.

He gave me a knowing nod.

Austin sipped his beer, smacked his lips, and then nodded happily. I nudged Landon and whispered, "I think the alcohol thing is working."

"So far," he replied. "Let's see how long it takes him to realize he's not drinking any alcohol."

Landon stayed up late with the guys that night, but most of the rest of the guests went to bed early. Myself included. The bed was perfectly soft and I slept soundly; I didn't even hear Landon come back to the room, but there he was, snoring softly in his bed when I woke up the next morning.

I admired his prone shape: the sheets covered him from the waist down, but the broad expanse of muscles in his back were in full view. He was spooning a pillow, and I couldn't help but imagine myself in the pillow's place. Just like the morning after the wedding.

The breakfast buffet was enormous: six long tables filled with eggs, bacon, sausage, different types of cheeses, bread, pastries, drinks, and everything in between. While eating, I wondered if Austin had gotten on the bus for the day-long hike. It would have left an hour ago.

I realized that I'd left my phone on "Do Not Disturb." When I turned that setting off, I saw that I had a few unread text messages from last night:

Theo : I'm in room 3302. In case you want to swing by tonight.

Theo : Nevermind. Bradyn and Landon are here now.

Theo : Austin just showed up, too. It may have been a bad idea for me to buy the weed. Now everyone wants to visit me.

Theo : Your fake boyfriend can NOT hold his liquor. He's slurring his words and talking about how great you are. He's doing a good job of selling your deception.

Theo : LOL, I just realized that me, Landon, and Austin all know your relationship is fake. Bradyn is the only one who doesn't know.

Theo : OH! I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING EVEN FUNNIER.

Theo : I know your relationship is fake. But Landon doesn't KNOW that I know it's fake.

Theo : And he doesn't know that Austin knows it's fake.

Theo : And Austin doesn't know that I KNOW it's fake!

Theo : Wow, this weed is really strong. I'm going to stop spamming you now.

Theo : Bye

Theo : Okay seriously, I'm going to bed now.

Theo : Unless you want to wake me up with a deepthroat blowjob in the middle of the night

Theo : Because that would be dope

Theo : Okay forreal now good night

Me : LOL, I was already in bed when you sent the first text. Sorry I didn't wake you up with a blowjob.

Me : Maybe tonight?

Theo didn't respond, so I assumed he was still sleeping. He'd sent the last text at one in the morning, after all. I finished my breakfast then returned to my room, using the keycard to let myself in.

Landon was standing in the middle of the room. He was completely nude, facing me, in the middle of putting his swim trunks on. Both of us froze. My eyes, moving against my willpower, swung down to his crotch.

Oh, wow .

"Hey!" Landon tried turning around, but he only had one leg in his trunks. He fell backwards, landing on the floor with a loud THUMP .

"Shit! Sorry!"

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked, getting up and facing away from me.

Trying not to stare at his bare ass cheeks—and failing—I sputtered, "What the hell are you doing! We agreed to change in the bathroom!"

"I thought you were at the beach already!" Landon finished pulling up his swim trunks, and turned to scowl at me directly. His cheeks were bright red.

"I just came to get my Kindle and the sunscreen." I snatched them off the table. "Okay… bye."

I felt embarrassed as I sat on the beach, replaying the whole event in my head. It wasn't my fault. He just picked a really unfortunate time to change clothes.

I couldn't get the image of his dick out of my head. Even flaccid, it was big . Sure, it had felt sizable when we were spooning in bed yesterday, but not that big.

He texted me soon after.

Landon : I'm going to sit by the pool instead of the beach

Me : You don't need to be embarrassed because I saw your little weenie.

Landon : I'm not embarrassed. I'm just hanging out with my brother.

Landon : Also, you damn well know it's not little.

Me : This is true.

A shadow appeared over my shoulder. "Hey gorgeous," Theo said.

I smiled up at him. Theo was wearing pink swim trunks with little white sharks on them, and he already had a frozen red drink in his hand. "That looks yummy."

"Strawberry daiquiri." He took a long sip. "It's even better than a strawberry martini! Seriously, how have I missed out on all these delicious girly drinks?"

"Better late than never." I gave his muscular body a long eye-fucking. "I enjoyed your drunk texts."

"Stoned texts. The weed here is legit. No pressure, but you know who to call if you want some."

I gave a noncommittal shrug. "I don't know. I tried weed once when I was in college and it just made me anxious."

"It's all good. No pressure." He tossed me a plastic room key. "But it makes for a great excuse if you end up visiting my room."

I smiled and picked up the room key. "On second thought, smoking some dope doesn't sound like a bad idea."

Theo snorted. "Dope? That's what my parents called it. Thirty years ago."

"Sorry I don't know all the cool lingo, unlike Teddy the super fun party animal! Seriously, I can't get over the way everyone treats you. You're a dentist! For the Blackhawks! Don't you want to brag about it?"

"I'm actually enjoying having a vacation from my serious life of dental hygiene," he replied.

"There you are!" Danicka said as she and Marisa walked down the path to the beach where I was sitting. "Oh, you picked out a perfect spot, Joanna. Plenty of chairs, and all of them shaded."

"Heard you boys had a good time last night," Marisa said to Theo. "Just don't get my husband in too much trouble. Hehe. I love calling him my husband!"

Theo gave a formal salute with his daiquiri. "I solemnly swear to get your husband in the right amount of trouble, and not an ounce more, Mrs. Cozart."

"Good answer, Best Man."

"Mrs. Cozart," Danicka muttered. "I need to get used to the fact that I'm not the only one, now! Run along, Teddy. Us girls are going to hang out at the beach today."

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Theo said as he departed, giving me one last knowing smile.

"That boy is something else," Danicka muttered. "Still a party animal at heart."

"I'm just glad Bradyn grew out of it," Marisa said. "I wouldn't want to date someone who can't keep a steady job, and bounces around careers like that."

It wasn't easy holding my tongue.