28 - Joanna

28

Joanna

As I drove home from the wedding venue with a belly full of pancakes, I wondered what I had gotten myself into. In the past twenty-four hours I'd hooked up with Theo at a wedding, posed for wedding photos with a family that I was never going to see again, quit my job, and agreed to go to Jamaica for a week. I even listened to the voicemails my boss had left me. That bridge was thoroughly burned.

The lesson here: alcohol is the devil.

But as I packed for the trip, I started to feel excited. I did need a vacation. And now that I was definitely unemployed, I felt free . It was like I was tied to a bouquet of balloons, which lightened my steps around the apartment. My life was making a massive change—for the better.

That didn't mean I was happy about Austin interjecting like that. I was going to make it my mission to get revenge on him while we were in Jamaica.

Theo texted me as I was getting in my Uber to go to the airport.

Theo : I heard a rumor that a certain sexy bridesmaid is going on the honeymoon now.

Me : I wouldn't call Chloe sexy, but hey, whatever floats your boat.

Theo : Is it true?

Me : Yeah. I kind of quit my job last night.

Theo : Seriously? That's awesome!

Me : Why is that awesome?

Theo : Because you told me you hated your job?

Me : I did?

Theo : It was one of the first things you mentioned on our date last week.

Me : Remembered things I said on a date? Plus five points for Theo.

Theo : Still keeping score?

Me : Always.

Theo : So you know what this means.

Me : What?

Theo : We have to pretend like we're not having amazing sex all week in Jamaica.

Theo : Which might be hard, because we WILL be having amazing sex all week in Jamaica!

Me : That sounds delightful.

Theo : Right? I especially like the part where we have sex all week.

Me : But we do need to keep a low profile. If it's a small resort, it might be hard to be discreet.

Theo : Right. All jokes aside, maintaining your secret is the most important thing. You think you're up to being Landon's fake girlfriend for an entire week? Around the clock?

Me : We'll see!

"I can't believe you're coming!" Marisa said when I got to the airport. "I'm so excited ."

"Me too!" I said.

Austin was standing by the window at the gate, wearing a pair of hangover sunglasses. When I glared in his direction, he gave me a casual salute in response.

"I need to find a way to get back at Austin," I whispered to Landon. "What do you think about making an anonymous tip to Homeland Security, telling them that he's planning on doing a nine-eleven?"

Landon sputtered a laugh. "I'm all for getting some revenge, but I don't think that's a proportionate response."

"Fine," I muttered. "You're no fun."

"Yes, dear," he replied sweetly.

"Do you mind if I have the window seat?" I asked. "I want to lean against it and sleep during the flight. I'm exhausted."

"Whatever you want, honey."

"That's starting to get annoying."

"Yes, dear."

I elbowed him in the ribs.

"Clark, switch seats with Joanna," Danicka ordered while we boarded the plane. "I want to talk to her during the flight."

I gave Landon a pained smile. So much for sleeping on the plane.

It turned out to be an upgrade for me: Danicka was sitting in First Class along with Bradyn and Marisa, while the rest of the family was in Economy. As soon as we were in the air, Danicka ordered us some Bloody Marys. It was a nice change after so much white wine.

"I hope you're not panicking too much about your job," she said.

"I think I'm panicking the correct amount," I replied with a nervous laugh.

"Do you have any prospects?"

I hesitated, then decided to tell her the truth. "Landon might look into getting me a job at his company."

Danicka was shaking her head before I finished the sentence. "Oh no, absolutely not. A couple working for the same company is too messy."

"I don't disagree, but if I can't find anything else…"

"I play bridge every Thursday with two city judges. They owe me more favors than I can count. I could easily get you a job clerking for them."

I blinked. "Wait, really?"

"If you want to go that route, sure." She waved it off. "But enough about work. You can worry about it when you get home. We're on vacation now! Enjoy yourself."

But I couldn't stop thinking about it now that the subject had been broached. I didn't have the experience needed to get a clerkship on my own. Not without knowing someone, at least. That would be a huge upgrade from my old job. It was even more tempting than working for DefTec. At the very least, it was a nice backup option.

Except what would happen when Landon and I broke up our fake relationship?

It was a cloudless day when we landed in Montego Bay, Jamaica. A sweltering humidity hit us the moment we stepped off the plane, a stark contrast to the perfect May weather in Chicago.

A car service transported us to the resort, which was on the north side of the island. It was tucked away on its own little peninsula, surrounded by palm trees and perfect white beaches. As soon as we stepped out of the car, we were given glasses of champagne from a stand.

"This place is off to a good start," Marisa said, toasting her glass to mine. "Good choice, husband."

"Thanks," Bradyn said absently. He lowered his voice and added, "I wonder how we buy weed here."

"There's a dispensary in town," Landon said.

I gave him a questioning look.

"I saw the billboards on the way here," he said defensively.

Theo had just stepped out of his car. He gave me a private wink, then said, "Tell me who your Best Man is."

"You are," Bradyn replied.

"And as your Best Man, I've got you covered. Watch this." Theo approached the bellhop stand. "My reservation is under Theo Manafort."

"Yes sir, I have your name right here." He gave Theo a glass of champagne. "Welcome to the resort, sir."

"If I wanted to burn a little bush while I'm here, who should I talk to?" Theo said casually.

The bellhop gave him a knowing smile. "Now you are in Jamaica! I will give you the hook-up when I take your bags to the room. Don't you worry."

"I appreciate your help." He slipped the bellhop a twenty dollar bill while shaking his hand.

"You're awfully good at buying drugs," Marisa teased.

"Just like college!" Bradyn said. "That's the Teddy I remember."

Theo just shrugged. "What can I say? I get along with everyone."

I turned to Landon. "Do they have drug testing at Defense Technologies?"

"They used to," he replied, "but relaxed their policy once weed was legalized in Illinois. I probably won't smoke anything while we're here, though."

"Really?" Theo teased. "That's like going to Napa and not drinking any wine."

"He has a point," I told Landon.

He shrugged. "We'll see."

We waited in line to check in at the front desk. After scanning our passports, the clerk asked us, "Do you have any dietary restrictions or allergies we should be aware of?"

Suddenly, an idea came to me.

"I don't have any allergies, but there's a member of our party who does." I leaned forward on the desk like I was relaying a secret. "His name is Austin Hedges. He's a recovering alcoholic. He's doing amazing , just got his one-year chip. But he's still embarrassed about it. Can you make sure all the drinks he orders are alcohol-free?"

"Um, one moment, please." The desk clerk stepped away to speak to a manager.

"What's that all about?" Landon asked.

"Getting even with Austin!" I whispered back. "You wouldn't let me put him on the no-fly list, so this is my next best option."

"Oh." Landon grinned. "I like it."

The desk clerk returned with the manager, who smiled at us warmly. "Thank you for bringing this to our attention. We have received these kinds of requests before, and we treat them with the utmost seriousness. We will ensure Mr. Hedges is only given non-alcohol beverages for the duration of your stay. We even have a supply of alcohol-free wine and beer."

"That's really great," Landon said. "And if it's not too much trouble, can you avoid bringing the subject up with Mr. Hedges? He's really self-conscious about the whole thing."

"We are trained in discretion," the manager assured us.

"That was amazing," I told Landon as we were taken to our room. "There's no way it will work though, right?"

"If it works for even a day, it'll be hilarious," he replied.

Our room was on the third floor, with a view overlooking an inland garden. "Dang. I was hoping we would have an ocean view," I said.

"I gave them one request, and they met it," Landon said. "Twin beds."

"That's a relief," I said. "I was afraid they would give us one big bed and we would have had to share."

"Like the plot in every cheesy rom-com," Landon agreed.

I cocked my head at him. "How many cheesy rom-coms have you watched?"

"Too many. My ex made me watch every single holiday one on the Hallmark channel. They're always the same movie!"

Landon changed into a bathing suit—privately, in the bathroom—and then I did the same, picking my favorite red bikini and a see-through cover-up. Landon's gaze swept over me for a moment, and then he was very careful not to look at my body.

Downstairs, we passed through the lobby to get to the pool. Several other members of the wedding party were checking in, including Austin.

"Hey, an activities desk." Landon pointed to a desk in the corner operated by a friendly looking woman. "Let's check out what they offer."

"I don't want to leave the resort this trip. I just want to sit on the beach with a cocktail until next Sunday."

Landon had a sparkle in his eyes, though. "Do you trust me?"

"Not really, no."

"Pretend you do for a few minutes." He led me over to the desk, and the woman perked up.

"Hello there! Interested in any hikes or excursions?"

"I don't think we're interested," I began.

"My girlfriend just wants to sit on the beach," Landon explained. "But I like having fun."

"That's great!" the woman said. "We offer a variety of activities around the resort. SCUBA diving, snorkeling, parasailing. And if you're feeling more adventurous, we have several tours of the entire island, and some inland hikes."

"Tell me about these hikes," Landon said.

"They're made for the true adventurer! They vary from an easy two miles, to our full-day hike, which is twelve miles round trip, and includes a panoramic view from Jamaica's third-highest peak. The sign-up sheets are here in front of you."

"That full-day hike is right up my alley." Landon grabbed a pen and began writing on one of the sheets.

"Seriously?" I asked. "That sounds awful."

"I think it will be fun." Landon finished his signature, then tapped the sheet for me to look. The name he had written down was Austin Hedges. "I see here that the expedition leaves the hotel at seven in the morning?"

The woman nodded. "That's right. We include a wake-up call to your room, to make sure you don't miss the bus! I should also let you know that these activities are not included in the cost of your room. And once registered, the fee is non-refundable."

Landon smiled brightly. "Perfect. Isn't that perfect, dear?"

I grinned back at him. "Whatever makes you happy, darling."

As we walked away from the activity desk, Austin was leaving the check-in counter. "There's a pair of shit-eating grins," he drawled to us from behind his sunglasses.

"We just found out that Danicka booked a surprise expedition for Bradyn and Marisa," I explained. "The whole wedding party is going, and it leaves in the morning. But don't say anything, it's a surprise."

Austin gave us a half-smirk. "I'm a man who can keep a secret. You two know that better than anyone here. Just tell me where to be, and when."

"The front desk will give you a wake-up call," Landon said.

"I think he fell for it," I whispered as we walked away.

"See?" Landon said, holding out his hand. "This trip is already turning out great."

I held his hand, and we giggled together on the way to the pool.