30 - Joanna

30

Joanna

It was a relaxing day at the beach, despite Danicka and Marisa's intrusion. They chatted with me for a little while, but eventually settled into their beach chairs and closed their eyes. That gave me a solid seven hours of time reading my book, with the only interruptions coming from the waitress bringing me frozen drinks and a plate of chicken and rice from The Jerk Shack.

When I returned to the room, I paused before using my key and knocked instead. Then I opened the door a crack and loudly said, "I'm coming into the room! Just in case anyone is naked in here!"

Landon was sitting on the edge of the bed, tying his shoes. "It's fine. I'm clothed."

"Just making sure," I replied. "Wouldn't want anyone to get embarrassed about it."

I showered and changed, and then we walked to dinner together.

"I wasn't embarrassed about it," he insisted while we walked. "I was just caught off guard."

"I don't know. Your face was awfully red."

"Because I was caught off guard," he repeated, deadpan.

"It's no big deal. Seriously. You have a great body."

"Weird thing to bring up, but thanks. So do you."

I gave him a sideways glance. "I was saying that so you wouldn't feel awkward about being naked."

"Stop making it a big deal," he said. "Or I'm going to make you sit next to my mom during dinner."

I held up my palms. "Okay, okay."

We were eating at the steakhouse tonight, and unfortunately they didn't have any tables big enough to hold more than six. That meant everyone was sitting separately tonight.

"Oh thank God," I breathed as we were seated at a nice two-person table. "I spent enough time around your mom and Marisa today. I need some alone time."

Landon arched an eyebrow. "If you want, I can go eat at the bar."

"No, it's fine. You don't count. I'm comfortable around you."

He gave me a strange look, then picked up the menu. I realized that I actually was comfortable around Landon. Being with him wasn't draining the way it was with other people. Which was kind of funny, since I barely knew anything about him.

"I just realized something. I don't know what you do at Defense Technologies."

"I'm a member of the in-house counsel," he replied. "The lowest member. Basically a paralegal. But I'm on a good path."

"That's what you want to do long-term?"

He shrugged. "I guess so? It wasn't what I dreamed of doing when I was a little boy, but I like my job. I'd be happy to work my way up in the department for a few decades and then retire with a golden parachute."

"So what did you want to do when you were a little boy?"

"Astronaut," he replied without hesitation.

"Wait, really?"

"Ever since I saw Armageddon. I wanted to be just like Bruce Willis, landing on asteroids and then blowing them up. Turns out, being an astronaut isn't that exciting. And it requires a lot of skills and education that I didn't have."

"So you went into a field that requires very little education: the law."

Landon chuckled and ran a hand through his dark hair. "Education wasn't the main roadblock. I have terrible vision when I'm not wearing contact lenses. And I get motion sickness easily."

"So I should cancel the parasailing outing I booked for us?"

"Unless you want me to vomit all over you and everyone else on the boat, yes. What was your dream job?"

"Honestly, I never had one."

"Really?"

I nodded. "I kind of liked the idea of being a waitress. Bringing people yummy food and drinks all day? I assumed waitresses were the most-liked people in the world! Until I got a part-time job when I was sixteen and learned that it's actually the opposite."

"Thankfully I never had to work in the food service industry," Landon said. "The closest thing was the summer I worked at Nike, putting shoes on people's smelly feet all day. That's when I realized I wanted to work a boring desk job."

I laughed and the server arrived to take our orders. "Your mom isn't going to be upset if I drink beer, is she?"

"She'll get over it."

There was a strange feeling between us tonight that I couldn't quite place. After our drinks arrived, I realized what it was: this felt like a first date. We were eating dinner alone together for the first time, asking the kinds of get-to-know-you questions people asked on a first date.

But I was on vacation, a free vacation, and I was embracing the fact that I was unemployed and didn't have any worries in the world. So I decided to lean into the first date vibe.

"Here's a question for you. How did you lose your virginity?"

"Senior year of high school," he replied, deadpan. "Her name was Florence, and she was the woman who refilled my grandma's oxygen tanks. Her fingers were really strong from turning the nozzles all day." He raised his brows suggestively.

"You're fucking with me, aren't you?"

"I definitely am," he said, cracking a rare half-smile. "I never got in Florence's pants. The real story is boring."

"Boring can be fun."

"Believe it or not, her name was Joanna. She was my prom date. We hardly knew each other before that, and only agreed to go together since we didn't have anyone else. And then we went to Kyle Parker's after-prom party, got drunk, and hooked up."

"That may be stereotypical, but it's not boring," I said. " My story is boring. I was a virgin throughout high school. I thought I was waiting for the right person. The one ."

"We took ourselves too seriously back then," he agreed.

Nodding along, I continued. "The summer before going off to college, I was seeing this guy named Ezra. It was super casual, because we were going off to different colleges and knew it would only last the summer. We would hang out at the pool all day, then go back to his house and make out before his parents came home from work. Then one day, he suggested we lose our virginity together before going to college. So we wouldn't be inexperienced. It sounded like a good idea at the time, so I agreed."

Landon tilted his head to the side. "And did it give you all the sexual experience you needed to survive college?"

"Of course not! We were so awkward and bad at it. He spent ten minutes rubbing my pubic hair. Never came close to anything I wanted him to touch. I wasn't any better: I spent way too much time stroking his balls. Like, squeezing them and rubbing them up and down."

"Why would you do that?" he demanded.

"I don't know! That's what I wanted Ezra to do to me, so I did it to him!"

"You wanted him to rub your balls up and down?"

"Yes, that's clearly what I meant."

The server cleared her throat; she was standing next to our table, and had been for long enough to hear at least part of the conversation. Both of us giggled together and ordered our food.

"I have a suggestion," I said. "Let's eat our dinner quickly, then go sit at the poolside bar to catch the end of the Blackhawks game. They should be in the third period by then."

"Yes, good, I like the way you're thinking." Landon leaned closer. "Counter-proposal: we watch the game right now ."

I looked around. "There was a TV in the bar, but they were showing soccer…"

Landon propped up his phone on the table. "We're halfway through the first period. Still no score."

"Okay, I definitely need to drop the L-bomb soon," I said, "because our fake relationship just got very real."

He looked relieved. "I'm glad. I wanted to put the game up from the moment we sat down but didn't know how you'd feel about it."

"Would it be going too far if I fake-proposed on this trip?" I asked.

"For one thing, the man is supposed to propose. For another, we've only been fake-dating for two months."

"Hey," I replied, "when you fake-know, you fake-know."

We watched the game together until our food came, then let it continue playing while we ate. We were waiting for our dessert when Landon looked out toward the entrance of the restaurant, his dark eyes widening.

"Oh my God," he said. "Turn around right now."

Austin was walking into the restaurant. He had a frozen margarita in his hand, but his shorts and T-shirt were covered in sweat stains, and his blond hair was dark with moisture. His face was bright red as he looked around the room, his gaze finally settling on our table.

I shared a look with Landon, and both of us fell apart into laughter.

"Hi," I said when Austin approached our table. "You look like you've had an adventure today!"

"That seems to be the case," he drawled slowly. "Funny thing happened this morning. Front desk gave me a wake-up call. I met in the lobby for the big surprise you told me Danicka had planned. Then I got on a shuttle and we drove two hours. When I woke up, we were in the middle of the jungle and the guide was telling me to hurry up. I hiked all goddamn day." He stuck out a foot. "In sandals. My entire foot is one giant blister."

"Wow, you probably should have prepared better," Landon said calmly.

"I bet it was a beautiful hike, though!" I said cheerfully.

"Oh, yeah. Real nice," he said. "And it was a bargain at just two hundred dollars ."

I had to bite my lip to keep from bursting out laughing again. Even Landon's face was red from the effort of keeping his face still.

"The silver lining?" Austin said. "I spent the whole twelve-mile hike thinking about how I was going to get even with whoever signed me up."

"I feel really sorry for whoever that is," I replied. "But it sounds like that was payback for something you did. Which means you're already even."

"We'll see about that." He smiled sweetly and held up his glass. "At least the margaritas here are good. I can barely even taste the alcohol." He nodded to each of us. "Y'all enjoy your meal. I'm gonna go soak my feet in the pool."

Somehow, we held our laughter in until he was gone from the restaurant.