42. Gavin

FORTY-TWO

gavin

I KNEW THIS thing with Daire would work when he ordered another pizza to go and put it in our fridge for later. Wasn’t that what most relationships were really based on anyway? Food? What did we have to fight about as long as we agreed on a good slice?

At least, that was what I’d heard. It wasn’t like I was the poster child for healthy relationships.

I had a gut feeling this one was going to be different, though.

“You want a drink, or you good?” Daire said, reaching for the glasses.

“Nah, I’m okay for now. Just gonna grab something.” I headed into my room and pulled open my top dresser drawer. The small box in the corner was nothing fancy from the outside, no ribbons or any branding, just plain black. Just the way Daire would like it.

God, I hoped he liked it.

As soon as I bought it, I’d kept looking for the right time to give it to him, and then wondered if it was too much or if he’d hate it. But he’d mentioned running into his parents today, and the way he said they didn’t have a hold on him anymore, and the timing just felt…right.

Blowing out a breath, I walked back into the living room to see Daire had forgone the drinks in favor of his guitar. He sat on the couch with his bare feet kicked up on the coffee table, so relaxed and gorgeous I could only watch as he tuned the instrument I rarely saw him play.

Of all the ways I’d seen him over the past few years, this had to be one of my favorites. Daire at home, no defenses up, just unwinding after a long day. I imagined he’d done this more often before I moved in, and I would’ve stayed there watching him all night if he hadn’t looked up and caught me staring.

He patted the cushion beside him, and I kicked my shoes off under the table and joined him.

“You look good like this,” I said, curling one leg up beneath me as he strummed softly. “How come I never hear you play?”

“I don’t do it much anymore. My knuckles are usually busted up pretty good after a fight.”

I didn’t know the song he played, if it was even one at all or if he was just fooling around, but whatever it was, I liked it.

“What made you start?” I asked, and then grinned. “Did you wanna be a rock star?”

“Hell no.” He stopped playing abruptly, resting his hand across the strings. “I was just alone a lot. My room was a lot less quiet when I played.”

God, I hated that—hated that he ever felt alone or unwanted or unloved. It made me want to confront his parents myself, to ask why they couldn’t see the amazing man in front of me.

“What’s that?” Daire nodded to the box I held, and I swallowed.

“It’s for you.”

“Me?”

“Of course. I saw it and— Well, just open it.”

I held the box toward him, and he looked at it curiously before setting his guitar aside.

“You don’t have to buy me anything.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” I teased, trying to keep things light because my heart was starting to beat a little faster and my palms were sweaty.

I casually rubbed them over my pants as Daire lifted the top off the box. He went still as he stared at its contents, and I cleared my throat when he didn’t say anything.

“It’s a St. Michael pendant,” I said. “He’s a defender and protector.”

“I know who he is,” Daire said quietly, still not moving.

I bit down on my lip. “It’s just… St. Jude doesn’t fit you. You’re not a hopeless or lost cause.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“I do.” I reached over and pulled out the silver oval charm. “You’ve been looking after me from the moment we met.”

“No, I⁠—”

“Yeah, you have. And the thing is, you don’t even realize you’re doing it. It’s like second nature to you, a natural instinct to protect those you are care about, and call me crazy, but I think you might care about me.”

Daire’s lips quirked. “You think so, huh?”

“Well, you did practically beg to be my boyfriend.”

Daire reached for the pendant, smoothing his thumb over the saintly figure engraved on the metal. “Well over the last couple of weeks you’ve shown me what it feels like to have someone give a shit about me. To have someone want to be with me the way I am.”

I held my breath, wondering if maybe I’d pushed too hard too fast.

“I want to deserve you.” He swallowed, turning the charm over between his fingers. “I want to be what you need, but this…? I don’t know if I’m this.”

I shifted into his side. “You’re right. You’re so much more than this. You’re a protector, a friend, a lover, and a badass fighter. You’re my boyfriend, and I love who you are.”

“Which makes you either a saint or a fucking masochist. But either way, I’m not about to complain. For some insane reason you want to be with me, and I want to deserve that. I want to deserve your trust and those feelings. But I can’t change who I am, and all I can think is I’ll eventually fuck this up.”

“Hmm.” I shifted up to my knees and swung one of my legs over the top of his, settling down on his lap. “What if I tell you I won’t let you fuck it up?”

Daire took a deep breath and shook his head. “I don’t know why you’re betting on me.”

“Because,” I said, taking his face between my hands, “you once told me you never lose.”

“In a fight. That’s different.”

“It’s not.” I leaned in and brushed my lips over his. “Not if you decide to fight for me.”

The expression in Daire’s eyes was full of something I’d never seen there before—hope.

I slid my hands around his neck to unclasp his necklace. “You’re not a lost cause, D. You’re with me, and I’ll never let you get lost again.”

Daire’s hands moved to my hips as I removed the old pendant and replaced it with the new.

“Perfect.” I smiled at him, and he grabbed my wrist and planted a kiss against my palm. And then he was pulling me forward, holding my face between his hands as he brushed his lips over mine.

This…this was the real Daire. The one who wanted someone to see him. Choose him.

And he was all mine.

The kiss deepened, his tongue sweeping into my mouth and tasting every part of me. I speared my hands through his hair, holding him in place as though if I let go he might disappear. That this moment would have been all in my head. But no, Daire’s hands were on my hips urging me closer, and as I pushed up on my knees and deepened the embrace, my heart felt close to bursting.

“Daire.” I lifted my head, needing to see with my own two eyes what I was feeling in his kiss—and right there, in place of the mystery and the tough wall of defense, was love.

It was etched into every feature of his expression as he stared up at me, open and vulnerable.

“Trust me,” I whispered. “Let me be the one to show you exactly what you’re worth.”

If it hadn’t been for Daire’s Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat, I would’ve wondered if he’d heard me. But when he nodded and reached for the hem of my shirt, I helped him tear it up over my head.

I quickly scooted off his lap, ridding myself of my sweats, not about to let him think too hard about what I’d said. If he did that, he might change his mind. He might start to panic and leave. But as I stripped out of my clothes and kicked them aside, I realized the man who’d just torn his own shirt off and unbuttoned his jeans was going nowhere.

Daire’s focus was unwavering as I went to grab the lube out of the side table, where we’d stashed it sometime last week. But when I handed him a condom, he caught my hand and stilled.

“I want to know every part of you, if you want that too. I want to feel every part of you when you fall apart in my arms tonight.” Daire drew me forward, back down onto his naked lap, where his heavy cock stood waiting for me.

I nodded, stroking my slick hands up and down his throbbing length. Daire’s eyes never wavered from mine, his chest rising and falling with each steady pull.

“I want that too.”

He reached down to stop my hand, sliding his palm over mine as he tangled our fingers, getting them slippery and wet.

“Then c’mere.”

The order was soft, but I instantly obeyed, shifting to my knees. Daire wrapped an arm around my waist, trailing his fingers down my crack and in between, teasing my entrance.

My dick jerked between us, the gentle way his finger massaged me causing a shiver of desire to spread through me. He pushed inside, his finger entering me slowly, stretching me, and then he added a second and third. Then I reached for his face and took the kiss I could no longer live without.

A moan of pure pleasure escaped me into him as he removed his hand and replaced it with the wide head of his cock.

“Love me,” he said against my lips, as I slowly lowered onto him. “Because somewhere around forever ago, I fell in love with you.”

My breath caught as I sat there with his life pulsing inside me, and it felt like my heart was beating in time with his as I placed my palm over his chest and closed my eyes.

“I think I’ve always loved you.”

Daire smoothed his hands around my hips to my bare cheeks, and I began to move, slowly at first, deliberately. I wanted to feel every inch of him as he pulled from my body, every inch of him when he sank back in. I wanted to surround him with my body, heart and soul. I never wanted to let him go. I wanted him to know that with me, he was safe. Just like I was with him. That with me, he could let go.

I reached for his hand, bringing it up to cover my heart, then placed mine over his, the steady beat of it creating a rhythm for my hips to follow. I rolled my body against his. Daire’s fingers trailed up my spine and brought my lips back to his, the kiss we shared then a true meeting of the souls.

It was as if I’d been waiting for him my entire life. I’d been waiting for this moment. Where we could give to each other freely, with no barriers between us.

“Gavin…”

My name on his lips had me picking up the pace, deepening the kiss. The bond between us strengthened as we sealed our promise to love each other without words, and never had I felt such a connection with another person.

Then our eyes met and my climax threatened. The need to release, and let all of this love out, was right there as Daire looked into my eyes.

“Come with me,” I said, hooking my fingers around his pendant. “Mark me as yours…forever.”

Daire thrust his hips, the passion between us now at fever pitch as we raced toward the finish line, sharing the breath inside us.

I felt enveloped by him. His arms, his mouth, his body had become one with mine. My muscles flexed, my knees tightened around his hips, and when he tore his lips from mine and shouted my name, the warm flood of his arousal inside me had mine exploding between us, painting him in the proof of my feelings.

How had I lived before this moment? How had I existed without knowing the love of this man under me? I had no idea. But one thing I did know was that I never wanted to go another day without knowing what it was like to be loved by Daire Connery.