43. Daire

FORTY-THREE

daire

A COUPLE WEEKS later, I stood outside a row of buildings on the west side of the city in a full-on downpour as I waited for Gavin. The black umbrella shielded me from most of the blasting rain, at least until the wind blew and it went sideways.

Didn’t matter to me. I was still a little overheated from my workout, and if I wasn’t about to go inside somewhere that wouldn’t appreciate my being drenched and leaving puddles all over their floor, I wouldn’t have bothered with the umbrella.

I glanced up to see the Sprinter making its way through traffic, my anticipation rising at seeing Gavin after long hours away.

Being the good student he was, and me still not giving much of a shit about anything educational, he’d been prepping for final exams while I hit the gym.

Scotty pulled over to the sidewalk a block away, and Gavin quickly jumped out, which told me someone was too impatient to wait in traffic. He took off down the sidewalk, umbrella angled to head off the sheets of rain, and I went in his direction to meet him halfway.

“You’re crazy,” I called out as he got close, and he grinned, not slowing down until he was in front of me, dipping under my umbrella for a kiss.

“Can’t help it. I wanted to see you.” At some point he’d gotten wet, because his hair was a darker blond and rain-slicked away from his face. Fucking gorgeous.

“Get everything done?” I asked as I took his hand, lacing our fingers together and walking back down the block.

“Yep. I’m so ready for this semester to be over already. Think we can convince the guys we need a month-long trip somewhere far away?”

“East probably already has something planned to the minute, knowing him. But if he doesn’t, maybe we can do our own thing.”

Gavin looked at me. “Really? You’d want to?”

“No, I’d hate it.” I snorted and squeezed his fingers. “Of course I would.”

“I’d like that.” He smiled, but then stopped walking, jerking me to a stop. “What about your practice, though? You can’t be away that long while you’re still learning the ropes.”

“Says who?”

“Uh, I’m sure your coach would be pissed.”

I lifted a brow. “Since when have I ever let someone else dictate what I do?”

“Never, but this is different. MMA training is a big deal. Speaking of, how’d practice go today?”

“Fine. Not sure about all these rules yet. They get in my fucking way.”

“I thought the only rules were no ball kicks or gouging out someone’s eyes. That a problem for you?”

“Well, today it was no throat strikes, so that’s shit.”

Gavin tugged on my hand to look at me. “You mean like jabbing someone in the neck?”

“Yeah.”

He stared at me for a long time before shaking his head and laughing. “Jesus, D. I’m so sorry for your loss. Must be tragic.”

“They’re taking away all the fun shit,” I grumbled.

“Nah, I’ve seen you move in there. You’re still doing deadly ‘fun’ shit.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I tugged him along, ready to get out of the rain.

Gavin and I had spent a lot of time talking about the future. While he’d been set on interior design forever, I’d never had a plan for myself, and he was determined to change that. Since fighting was something I was good at that didn’t involve needing a degree, he’d encouraged me to check it out.

Truthfully, I thought he just wanted me to stop all the underground fighting, since the last time we’d gone, a guy in the fight after mine broke his leg in a pretty gruesome, bone-sticking-out way that left Gavin traumatized.

I was giving it a shot. Didn’t really matter where I was fighting, as long as I got to. Being with Gavin had given me a sense of peace I’d never felt before, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t still an aggressive bastard with an urge to knock out assholes. It just happened a little less now.

“Ooh, wait.” Gavin squeezed my hand as he caught sight of the Antiques and More sign. “Can we go in for, like, two seconds?”

I glanced at the shop door. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, it’s been forever with all my studying and essays. I promise I won’t be long.”

“That’s like me promising not to throat-punch someone in my legit MMA.”

Gavin drew a cross over his chest. “Cross my heart.”

I sighed and reached for the door. “Fine. You win. But ten minutes, tops.”

Gavin’s face lit up with a bright smile, and despite the gloomy day, it warmed my insides. “I can promise you five. I just want to check⁠—”

“I know, I know.” I held open the door for him. “Go and ask where they keep their compasses.”

He chuckled and planted a smacking kiss on my cheek, then all but ran inside as I stowed our umbrellas in the bucket by the front door. Not even a minute later and Gavin was back my side, towing me through the packed aisles. His excitement was palpable as we got closer to his destination.

“He said they’re kept in a glass case back here with the— Oh, right there, the broaches.”

Gavin came to a stop in front of an old dresser, and sitting on top in the center was a large wooden case. It had a glass lid showing off the items inside, and as Gavin scanned over each one, he was so quiet, you could’ve heard a pin drop.

“Oh my God!” He grabbed my arm, clasping it tight, as he leaned down closer to the box. “It’s here! I found it!”

I shouldn’t have been surprised by the strong grip he had, but as his excitement mounted, his fingers dug even harder into my skin, making me wince.

“Found…?”

Gavin whirled around on me, his eyes sparkling with joy. “The compass I’ve been looking for. The rare silver pocket sundial and compass by Michael Butterfield, Paris, circa 1700.” He spun back to the case again, this time gently lifting the lid. “Remember? I told you about it?”

Oh, I remembered. I’d filed that little piece of information away in my brain so I could have this very moment here.

“Now that you mention it, I think I do remember.”

“Yeah.” He gently lifted the piece out of the case like it was the Ark of the Covenant. “I told you about it on our first⁠—”

Gavin stopped talking when he spotted my smile, then he looked down at the piece in his hand, then back to me.

“Date.” I stepped in closer, needing to touch him when I said what I did next. “Yeah, I know. That day, something changed for me. I realized that being with you, around you, made me so much happier than being alone.”

“Daire…”

“Let me finish. If I don’t say this now, I’ll probably forget parts of it, and, well, I’ve been looking for this thing since you first showed me it.”

Gavin’s eyes welled, but the smile on his face never dimmed as he stood there staring at me.

“That day we hunted through boxes of weird-ass knobs and fancy ornaments for buildings, I realized one of the biggest things I love about you is that you’re more than just surface. You dig for the treasures you want to find. You’re not afraid to get a little dirty, to look beyond the mess, just like you did with me.”

As a tear escaped and rolled down his cheek, I reached out to swipe it away with my thumb.

“I’m about as wrong for you as anyone could be. More fucked up and messy than anyone deserves—especially you—but I promise, I will never make you sorry for taking a chance on me.”

I covered his hands where he still held on to the sundial. “This is for you. I could’ve given it to you back at our place, but I know you like to hunt, so I made sure they put it somewhere special to find.”

Gavin wiped at his cheeks, and for a heartbeat, I wondered if I’d gone about this all wrong.

I swallowed. “Say something. Did I mess up⁠—”

“No, this is perfect. It’s all perfect. I…I don’t know what to say.”

Oh thank fuck.I let out the breath I’d been holding, and as Gavin looked up at me with wet lashes, the words I’d wanted to say came back.

“I’ve never had a real home before. Never had any direction or known what I wanted in life, until you. You’re my compass, Gavin. I’d follow you anywhere.”

He was shaking his head, but it wasn’t because he disagreed with what I said. The wonder in his eyes told me that.

He lifted his hand to rest against my neck, his thumb brushing my cheek. “You’re incredible, you know that?”

No, I didn’t, but every day I spent with Gavin made me all the more determined to feel it. If he believed in me so much, I should too. And maybe I was starting to…just a little.

I turned my head to kiss his thumb. “Do me a favor and don’t tell anyone that. The last thing I need is the guys thinkin’ I’ve gone soft.”

Gavin trailed his fingers over my shirt and poked at my stomach. “Trust me, no one is gonna think that. Have you seen you lately? Jesus. Your abs could cut glass.”

I smirked. “Good.”

“Besides”—he slid an arm around my waist and stepped in close—“I wanna be the only one that gets the gooey marshmallow inside.”

“Gooey marshmallow?” I looked around us and raised a brow. “I don’t know who the hell you’re talkin’ about.”

“I won’t tell anyone that either. Can’t have someone trying to steal what’s mine.” He lifted his chin, and I closed the distance between our mouths, giving him a sweet-as-sugar kiss.

“Thank you,” he said, and brought the compass back up to look at it. “I can’t believe you went to all the trouble to find this for me. I love it. I love you.”

I’d gone my entire life never hearing those three little words. Thinking I didn’t need to. That they wouldn’t mean anything anyway, because why would I believe anyone who said them?

But I would never get tired of hearing Gavin telling me he loved me. Not even if I lived to a hundred and he still decided to keep me around. When they came out of his mouth, I could feel the emotion behind them, and it had started to heal the gaping wound inside me.

Pressing a kiss against the top of his head, I said, “I love you.”

He squeezed me tighter, and we both lingered there, just like that, in comfortable silence.

“Did you find what you were— Oh.” The shop owner came to a stop when he caught us tangled up in each other. “Ah. I see you did.”

“Thank you,” I told him, grateful for his help in storing the compass and playing along.

“Anytime.” He winked at me before retreating to the back of the store.

“I think I’ve got a new problem,” Gavin said, pulling away.

“Oh no. Is this one of those addictions where you get what you want then immediately plan for the next thing?”

“No, I was thinking I need something cool to store them in at our place. Most of the ones I’ve collected are at my parents’ house, but this baby’s coming home with us.”

Home with us.I liked the way that sounded. Had it really been a few months ago that I’d begrudgingly let him move in with me? I’d never wanted to share my space, but now I couldn’t imagine living there without him.

“I think we can figure something out,” I said. “But your five minutes are up. I’m starving.”

“Uh oh. Better feed you before the beast comes out. Just let me pay real quick⁠—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” I stopped him before he could get far. “You think I tracked this sucker down and didn’t pay for it? Come on now.”

Gavin grinned and took my hand. “I didn’t want to assume, but in that case, I’m paying for dinner.”

I reached for our umbrellas by the door and smirked. “Deal.”