VAL, AKA MARRYING HIS DREAM GIRL

The night before the wedding, Lola and I stay in separate rooms. We watch a movie together while on the phone. Despite her voice keeping me company, I nearly show up at her door to get a taste of her sweet plump lips. Being apart for a single night becomes torture.

Reunited at the hotel’s breakfast, we launch ourselves at each other. I lift her into my arms and nearly walk back to my room.

“Keep it in your pants,” Pa-Emmett warns when he sees where things are headed. “Save something for your wedding night.”

Lola smiles at my dad, slides off my hips, and stands before me. She tugs me down and whispers in my ear, “I’m going to rub one out before the ceremony.”

I groan at the thought and how she nibbles at my earlobe.

“You should do the same,” she whispers. “My dress is going to blow Earl’s mind, so give him a little relief before the big show.”

Though I wish we could go to a room and rub it out together, we behave long enough to sit with our families and eat the standard hotel breakfast fare.

As we’re about to separate, Lola murmurs, “The next time I see you, I’ll be walking down the aisle on Duke’s arm. Once you and I say our vows, we won’t be apart again.”

I’m not a pessimistic guy. I believe in magic and know Lola is mine. Yet, I’ve been fighting panic all morning. Not over something like a curse. I just worry one family or the other will raise objections and throw a wrench in my happiness.

As I get dressed for the wedding, I consider Lola’s words. She’s feeling confident about our future. Duke and my parents are in good spirits. No one looks to be wielding any wrenches. I don’t know why I’ve gotten myself so wound up.

The rumble of motorcycles signals the arrival of men from both clubs. I stand in my hotel room and adjust my suit. The tailor guy made sure it fit right so I didn’t need to shave my balls. I suspect Lola is a little disappointed about that part. I might go ahead and shave them on our honeymoon as a gift to my new bride.

A knock on the door drags my thoughts away from my testicles. Soon, West enters my room, wearing a suit. His hair is slicked back. He looks like a former model turned insurance salesman.

“I’m sorry I kept trying to rip off your head,” he says while I tie my shiny black shoes. “I felt like my best friend was abandoning me, and that inspired thoughts of decapitation.”

“Why not talk to me about your feelings?”

“Because I’m not a girl.”

Scowling at my brother, I poke him in the chest. “You shared a buttload of your feelings when your dream girl blew you off and then when you found her. Why are you suddenly pretending to be cold inside?”

“You’re the cold one. You never mentioned your heart belonged to our rival’s daughter,” West says and shrugs his big shoulders. “Maybe my decapitation attempts were about holding a grudge.”

“Sure, okay. Just leave my head attached and we’ll be good. Now, how do I look?”

“Like a brown-haired version of your godlike older brother.”

I admire myself in front of the mirror while Ike and Otto enter the room. They both seem awkward as if their suits don’t fit right.

West asks our cousins, “Doesn’t my brother look pretty?”

Otto strokes his beard and circles me. He glances at a smirking Ike. “Val ought to star in one of those rom-coms Betty’s mom watches.”

“Thank you,” I say despite them clearly razzing me. “Lola’s definitely hot enough to be a star.”

Ike steps forward and offers me a smile before saying in his characteristic mumbling voice, “I’m glad you won your dream girl.”

I force him into a hug while glaring at West. “Notice how Ike didn’t try to rip my head off? That’s genuine love and support.”

“Now, calm down, boys,” Otto insists. “Let’s just agree you’re all dipshits and move on with our day.”

Taking my cousin’s advice, West and I stop throwing snarly frowns at each other.

Not long afterward, Pa-Emmett shows up to my room. He barely acknowledges me while he fights with his tie.

His gaze finally locks on me, and he smiles warmly. “You look good, boy.”

“Thanks, Pa,” I say and then force him into a hug.

I know I’m being overly affectionate, but I figure I’ll soon be ignoring all these people while I focus solely on Lola for the next year or two.

As I head downstairs, Duke corners me. He’s wearing a simple black suit. His gaze is tense.

“Is Lola okay?” I ask.

Blinking rapidly, Duke acts like I’m speaking a different language. “What?”

“You’re upset.”

“No.”

“You look upset.”

“I just want everything to go well,” he lies without even trying to sell his bullshit. “Are you having second thoughts?”

“Are you fricking kidding me?”

Duke finally offers a little grin. His gaze flashes to my dad, brother, and cousins nearby. He looks back at me and smiles wider.

“Lola looks gorgeous,” he says, sounding like a proud papa. “She can’t stop smiling, either.”

I study the ceiling of the lobby and imagine Lola upstairs. I wish she was already standing in front of me. Until she’s my wife, I feel like shit might go sideways.

“Thank you for suffering from a moment of weakness,” I tell Duke who instantly frowns. “If you hadn’t felt desperate, this deal wouldn’t have happened. I’d still be stalking Lola, and she’d still be reacting like a startled banshee at the sight of me. We might have gotten together eventually, but you saved me a lot of suffering. I owe you one.”

Duke wants to complain about my reasoning. He resents how he felt weak. But I think he needs to understand how fessing up to his fears led Lola to a better life.

Feeling weak isn’t the same as being weak. Though the future isn’t certain regarding the clubs, Duke did right for everyone involved.

Nodding at my words after a moment of hesitation, Duke gets what I’m saying. We’re on the same team, not only because of our clubs or families but because we want the best for Lola.

As Duke returns to Lola upstairs, I join my family in the meeting room which has been transformed into a sparkling, luxurious location. Pa-Emmett is at the front with my uncles, brother, and cousins. I join them and try to stand still. Yet, I’m dying for the ceremony to start.

Ma-Poppy must see me struggling because she gives me a long, tight hug. My agitated breathing slows, and I calm the hell down.

“You’re marrying your dream girl today,” Ma says once she frees me from her mama bear hug. “No one will frick that up for you. If anyone tries, your family will flatten the queef.”

I glance at West, Ike, Otto, Poet, and Bullet. They all nod, ready to jump on any troublemakers. As I stop running through all possible problems, my groomsmen walk to the lobby to meet the bridesmaids.

Minutes later, “A Thousand Miles” begins to play. People take their seats. I smile at my grinning parents in the front row. My family fills up the first three rows followed by the men I call brothers.

Sitting next to her goofy blond husband Merv, Lola’s mom is already crying. Erin has a full box of tissues at the ready. The back rows of the bride’s side are filled with the Blood-Red Suns members. Like a bunch of meathead older brothers, they seem excited over Lola getting married.

As West begins walking down the aisle with Alexis, I realize I’ve been holding my breath. I inhale sharply and smile at Tuesday with Bullet. Next up is Ike with Oana. Otto follows with Betty and Edith. Poet walks next to Cricket. Clover and Roxie bring up the rear, wearing matching jumpsuits.

My heart nearly busts out of my chest at the sight of Lola with Duke. That’s the moment I realize I’m about to take my vows while sporting a half-woody.

It’s not as if I didn’t know what Lola’s dress looked like. I helped her pick it out. Yet, I’m unprepared for the sight of her walking down the aisle toward me in that gown with the lacy straps hanging off her shoulders.

She’s a vision in white. Her shiny straight hair drapes her shoulders and hangs down her chest. Her face is perfection with her red lips and softly pink skin.

Those damn straps are too much for me. I swear she’s about to fall out of her top and reveal her stellar tits to a room full of people. What would be the proper response to that happening? Poke out everyone’s eyeballs? High-five the people bound to applaud?

Remaining perfectly locked into her dress, Lola floats toward me while holding Duke’s arm. I stare in awe at the woman I get to keep. Lola smiles at me, refusing to hold back or play coy. She’s just as amazed at how she gets to keep me.

Everything flipped around so fast between us. A month ago, Lola was screaming in a grocery store. Now, she’s saying, “I do,” and meaning it.

Our first kiss as husband and wife prompts applause. Maybe that’s normal, but I like to think Lola and I inspire a celebratory mood.

“I love you,” Lola says after our first kiss as a married couple. “Thanks for taking Duke’s deal and breaking the curse.”

“Everything I did was for selfish reasons. Being away from you was killing me.”

Nodding, Lola understands the pain of knowing the perfect person is within reach yet unattainable.

I look into her sapphire eyes and see our future spread out before us. The details like our home and kids are foggy, but within the uncertainty, there stands Lola as a beacon. She’s my home now.